wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This week Donald Trump returned to Twitter and WTF left it. The main factor prompting her departure was Elon Musk’s seeming determination to support and encourage the right wing plankton that infested our streets with violence over a particularly nasty and lawless fortnight after the murder of three little girls in Southport on 29 July, issuing grandiose pronouncements that were unhinged, malicious and mendacious in equal measure. To her shame, WTF knew that Musk was a piece of shit when he bought Twitter for billions of dollars, but her addiction got the better of her. The final straw was the two hour lickathon between Musk and Trump on Monday night, which WTF did not watch, consisting of two megalomania liars, lying and unchecked in their lies. That finally allowed WTF to log off for good and to escape the malevolence, the viciousness, the stupidity, the wanton ignorance, ugliness and the manipulation that Twitter has sunk into. The old Twitter exercised some vague control of the blatant liars, Trump included, the antisemites, the bullies and the conspiracy theorists. Musk welcomed them all back with open arms. Disgusting men and women who asserted that Kamala Harris slept her way to the top, despite her being elected as the district attorney for San Francisco, the attorney general of California, junior senator for California, and vice president of the United States. Morons who idolise a draft dodger with fake bone spurs but who attack a man who spent 24 years in the National Guard and call him a coward. So-called Christians who seem to hate everybody with a passion. Pathetic journalists and politicians who parade their prejudices and stupidity with pride. Every day spent on that site is a day in which your soul corrodes a little more and your manners deteriorate bit by bit until you are reduced to irrational anger, arguing points with people who do not want to listen and whose opinions in fact do not matter. So there is the choice – sink into the morass or get out. And hit Musk in the pocket whilst you are about it.

WTF is still only three days in. Like all recovering addicts, she is taking one day at a time. There will doubtless be slippage. There has been, to be frank with you, the odd peek. But she is going to beat this thing. She is going to get hours of her life back. She is going to occupy a better place, avoiding people untethered from reality who think it is acceptable to lie with impunity and abandon decency.  WTF’s brother liked to remark that opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one. WTF has spent far too much time reading the opinions of arseholes. And now, with any luck, she will stop.

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We start our review of the week’s atrocious attire with presenter Heidi Klum arriving on the set of America’s Got Talent wearing a very silly pair of jeans.

If you think they are bad at the front, just wait until you see them from the back…..

They have built-in vaginal ventilation and arse aeration. Yurgle.

Next, another regular, sometime actor and current bits-flasher Julia Fox, wearing an extraordinary ensemble.

Admittedly this is more fabric than Julia usually wears, for which relief much thanks, but it is still foul. We have the usual flash of under-boob and the skirt  – get this – is made out of men’s boxer shorts. WTF is panting with outrage. Where did she knicker that idea from? What a load of bollocks…..

Last week, you may recall actor Cate Blanchett was pictured wearing a top made out of recycled spoons. This week we have another actor, Greta Lee, wearing recycled clobber by the same designer, Hodakova.

This is made out of an old pair of leather boots for the bodice, hence those strange wings by the arms like a jackbooted Hermes, and a pair of old chinos for a skirt. This outfit should be given the boot – asap. When WTF was young, stuff used to be recycled onto a pony and trap driven by a couple of rag and bone men, as immortalised by the TV show Steptoe and Son. That is frankly a better option. And somebody should recycle Hodakova whilst they are at it.

Next we are in London where we encounter former model and now actor Suki Waterhouse, wheeling her baby daughter (by her fiancé, actor Robert Pattison) around town. Careful how you go with this one….

Baby was born in March so perhaps Suki was flaunting what the Daily Mail is wont to call her ‘post-baby body’, which admittedly looks very nice. Be that howsoever that may be, there is no excuse for flashing your perfectly-formed arse at startled passers-by in what is an impracticable get-up when you are looking after a new-born, which requires a lot of bending over and squatting down. Two observations. First, what is that orange thing nestling underneath her butt-cheek?  And second, is she trying to emulate Pat Cash when he recreated that famous Athena poster of the female tennis player with the peekaboo bum?

Still in London, we are at the Royal Albert Hall where we find singer Sam Smith dressed up in a splendid Vivienne Westwood ballgown.

That is a great dress, but not on them. Dame Viv and Scarlett O’Hara must be turning in their graves…..

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We are now in Hollywood for the premiere of Alien Romulus with a newcomer to these pages, actor Adina Porter wearing an extraordinary concoction. 

No-one has owned up to designing this thing. Good call. If Adina is feeling litigious, she might consult Messers Shyster, Shyster and Shyster to sue either her stylist or the designer, or both, because if this is not a case of Call for the Canesten, WTF does not know what is. Ouch, ouch and thrice ouch. As for the rest of the alleged outfit, WTF aficionado Theo from Kentish Town rightly pointed out that it has more layers than a trimmed leek.

And finally, you might have thought that she had gone away. But sadly, she has not. WTF speaks of former Prime Minister and lettuce-battler Liz Truss out and about in Edinburgh.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE JEANS??  They are just terribly, terribly, terrible. What has happened to the texture?  They look like they have been used as a cat scratching board.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of Islington who has actually made it happen and decided that not only did Twitter have to go, but got rid of it.  Good riddance

 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your tip top comments coming through and your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday, Be good x