wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

So now we have two presidential candidates who are still there despite everything. In the blue corner is Joe Biden, still desperately clinging on to the presidency present and future, despite a flotilla of former presidents, Congresspersons, Senators, commentators, press and pundits all urging him to step aside to preserve what remains of his dignity and his reputation. His attempts to persuade everyone that he is robust and sharp were dealt another blow this week when he succumbed to Covid and also appeared to forget the name of his Defence Secretary. In the red corner is Donald Trump, who seems to have literally dodged a bullet which grazed his ear and instead killed a devotee standing nearby. His cult did not hesitate to proclaim that he had been saved by the direct intervention of the Almighty. They have not explained why the Almighty saw fit to take out the other guy, but then, as we all know, He moves in mysterious ways. His idiotic supporters, and even more idiotic family, were quick to lay the blame for the attack not on the confused young Republican who fired his father’s gun in Trump’s direction but at Biden, who they said had either authorised the assassination or had incited it by pointing out, not unreasonably, that Trump was a threat to democracy and the man who had tried to overthrow the results of the 2020 election. Laughably, Trump, who has appeared in public sporting a bandaged ear, like a cross between Pudsey the bear and Vincent van Gogh, is now cast in the role of the saviour of democracy and the man who will unite the divided and broken United States. A role for which he is as much suited as WTF is to explain the principles of nuclear fission, i.e. not even at all.

The general consensus is that Trump will now walk it, whoever his opponent may be, seeing that he has God’s personal endorsement. Morons who have flocked to Milwaukee to witness his formal acceptance of the GOP presidential nomination have taken to wearing bandages on their right ear in homage to their Leader, the stigmata of their faith in the monster they worship. And so it is full steam ahead to 20 January 2025. John F Kennedy brought us Camelot. Trump will bring us Gilead. If you thought it could not get worse, keep watching.

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We start our review of the week’s crappy clothing at Wimbledon with former tennis player Maria Sharapova wearing Stella McCartney.

This is further proof, were proof required, that Stella is taking the piss. Bigly. Unless the idea was that Maria would resemble the Swan Queen. In which case, good job.

And now we have soap star Jennifer Metcalfe from Hollyoaks at the British Soap Awards in London wearing an appalling ensemble by The Dolls House.

Look. Jen has a banging body for a woman of any age. Let alone 40. But why do we need to see so much of it? And why is she wearing such an ugly dress? The bodice and minge mask look like a stack of onion rings tacked onto an old, slightly discoloured, net curtain with seams stitched by someone stoned out of their head and which is also puckering like Donald Trump’s mouth. Yurgle.

Next up, we have serial offender Bianca Censori out for dinner with husband, mad-as-a-hatter-and-that’s-an-insult-to-mad-hatters, rapper Kanye West. Brace yourselves….

Sigh. Here’s the question. Why does any self-respecting restaurant allow her in? Either her tits are on show or her arse is, or both. Refuse her admission and she will soon stop it. The sooner the better. Diners are entitled to enjoy their overpriced victuals without having to put up with Mrs West flashing her sizeable knockers, her nipples covered by what appears t0 be an upside-down pair of kiddies’ eyewear.

Now we are at the ESPYS sport awards in LA where we encounter American Football player Dion Dawkins. Who even knows what this is?

What it is is positively schizophrenic. If you want to wear trousers and massive clumpy boots, OK. If you want to substitute your tattoos for a shirt, fine. If you want to wear a skirt, OK. If you want to have Shirley Bassey shoulders, be my guest. Just make an election as to where you’re going and go there.

Next up we meet actor Mikey Madison at the premiere of the new Netflix series The Lady in the Lake, wearing Louis Vuitton.

One can but surmise that this excrescence was inspired by an Indian sadhu with a beard. 

And talking of India, we are now at the utterly obscene wedding of zillionheir and Luciano Pavarotti lookalikey Anant Ambani and extremely rich heiress Radhika Merchant in Mumbai. The celebrations have been going for for weeks, attended by everyone who is anyone in India and international celebrities various, including the Kardashian Klan. Here is Kim with her tits making a break for the border.

It’s Princess Jasmine with cushion tassels and an imminent nipple explosion. Vulgar and inappropriate. As ever.

But Kim looks positively soignée compared to the walking lump of lard that is former PM Boris Johnson and his wife Carrie Antoinette.

WTF aficionado @MsAlliance was aghast, not just by Boris but by Carrie Antoinette wearing white, the colour of mourning, at a wedding. India travel guru expert and WTF aficionado Louise remarked that Mrs Johnson does not have the deportment to carry off the outfit, whatever colour it is. As for the lump of lard, what the actual fuck is he wearing? And why doesn’t it fit him?  Every few years in Norfolk they have a village idiots’ convention and he looks as if he is en route to it. Shameful.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Jon from Cambridge who is frankly fed up with Claire Balding fronting the BBC Wimbledon tennis coverage, on which she is not a specialist, her specialism being horse racing. Jon says it is not a personal thing but a professionalism thing.  Ideally, he wants to hear from people who excelled in that particular field, particularly as in various other sports the BBC has adopted a policy that money is no object. He points out that you would not have John Virgo covering water hockey. Or a heart surgeon opining on brain surgery. So why have Claire instead of Annabelle Croft?

WTF agrees and adds that, to paraphrase her late dad, Claire is always on and enough already. Plus her trouser suit for the Men’s Final was ridiculous, like something worn by Buttons in Cinderella at a Christmas panto in Skegness. It’s Got to Go. 

Okay Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, as well as your excellent comments. The more the better. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x