Hallo Readers,
This week’s rant is a random collection of things which have driven WTF into despair. Were it not for Arsenal’s splendid victory over Liverpool last Sunday, who knows how she would have survived the last seven days. So here we go, in no particular order.
Item – WTF has tried to pretend it is not true. But it is. Biden is too old to be the next President. He has just escaped prosecution because the Special Prosecutor has decreed his memory to be so poor about why he had had various classified documents in his possession that no jury would convict. Which might have got him out of the frying pan but has plunged him right into the fire. Last week, he confused Macron with Mitterand, who has been dead for decades. And in what was a spirited response to the Press after the Special Prosecutor’s report came out, he confused the President of Egypt and the President of Mexico. Which is a problem if you are trying to rebut an allegation of memory loss. Most people already think Biden is too old but now he will be viewed as half way to the home for the terminally bewildered. Which leaves a clearer path for Trump in November.
Item – A woman in South Carolina who sells ice cream in some lovely-looking seaside spot full of people who think Donald Trump is the answer to America’s woes. According to Madam Macadamia, the Rancid Kumquat was sent by God to save the country. To which WTF can only say that God must have been really, really pissed off. Meanwhile, the Republican Party demanded drastic action at the Mexican order to stem the flood of illegal migrants. The Biden Administration agreed and a bill was negotiated which was stricter than any bill ever in the history of ever. But then the Rancid Kumquat decreed that the bill was a disaster, by which he meant that it was a disaster for him as it removed immigration as one of his principal campaign issues. So the Senate shelved it because he said so. Let these people in and complain about it, then stop a bill that would stop them coming in and then blame Biden for not stopping them coming in. You think God is happy with his disciple?
Item – Liz Truss still labours under the misconception that she is the answer to Britain’s woes. She has formed a new Tory Group called the Popular Conservatives. Popular? With whom? The Tories are about as popular as an outbreak of pubic crabs. But this week a group of these delusional fools gathered together for their launch, where they were addressed by such luminaries as Madam Mad herself, 30p Lee Anderson and Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg, who hit out at the “unaccountable, the faceless, the bureaucrat and the pious platitudes of pompous politicians which have been running this country for too long”. This is not just the pot calling the kettle black but dancing around in the flames. These people are deranged.
Item – the US and others are abandoning Ukraine. The Putin apologists are gaining traction, insisting that rather than support Ukraine’s resistance of wipeout and subjugation, Zelenskyy should be taking peace with Putin. Why? So that Putin has the green flag to start on Moldova next? Or Poland? What sort of world are we living in when democracies get crushed because people are bored with empathy and the higher price of wheat and sunflower oil??
So it has been a bad week. And it is unlikely that next week will be any better.
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We need a laugh. All the outfits this week come from the Grammys held in Los Angeles last Sunday. We start our review of the week’s clothing cockups with Swedish composer and conductor Ludwig Göransson wearing Marni.
This is a deeply unpleasant blend of concentration camp chic and a deckchair.
Country singers Rebecca and Megan Lovell aka Larkin Poe, wearing Libertine.
More deck chairs. And even more stripes, made worse by the fact that there are two of them.
Singer Miley Cyrus, wearing Maison Margiela.
Martin Margiela went fishing for a Valkyrie with conical tits, using a golden net. This is what he caught. Oh, and that hanging crotch thing is deeply disturbing.
Singer Montaigne (née Jessica Alyssa Cerro), wearing Jessica Grindell.
/If a Renaissance youth posed for a portrait, had a spat with the artist and got splashed with paint on his hose, this is what he would look like. Meanwhile, what the cowboy boots have got to do with the price of fish, WTF cannot say.
Singer Ayra Starr (née Oyinkansola Sarah Aderibigbe) wearing Jeblanc.
Ayra has come dressed as Princess Jasmine from Aladdin with a noo-noo necklace. If only one could rub the lamp and make her disappear.
This is Broadway star Jake Pedersen wearing KYLE’LYK and a pearl necklace.
This is what Princess Jasmine wears when she goes back to the Palace and slips into her jim-jams. And there seems to be a lot of extraneous fabric for no good purpose.
Rapper Doja Cat wearing Dilara Findikoglu.
Doja has taken this faux tattoo thing very seriously, even to the extent of having the name of the designer on her forehead. Which might be great advertising for Dilara if she does not mind being associated with this ridiculous piece of fabric wrapped around Doja to no avail. It is extremely mingey. And the back is even worse. Brace yourselves…..
WTF cannot previously remember a train multi-tasking as a bustle and as a nappy. The tattoos are hideous. The seams are hideous. The shoes are hideous. It is all hideous. Hideous.
Actress and singer Kat Graham wearing Stéphane Roland Haute Couture.
This is the lovechild of a square envelope and Audrey Hepburn in The Nun’s Story.
Singer QUIN (Bianca Quiñones) and her boyfriend, rapper 6Lack (Richardo Valdez Valentine Jr), wearing not enough.
Note that the happy couple has different approaches to dressing for a big event. 6Lack looks like he has come straight from a plumbing job in Pacific Palisades. QUIN, on the other hand, is letting it all hang out with tit trinkets for a bra and something or other around her waist prompting onlookers to speculate whether a frisky puppy had had a go at her French knickers.
It looks like Shawn might be on for a double title win (only Bobby Norris has done that with his foul cock-socks in 2014 and 2015). I mean, what could be worse than these soiled lace long-johns, as if he had shat himself, and a matching lace curtain shawl, worn with hobnail boots and stupid glasses. Yurgle.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Gita from Bromley who writes on behalf of herself and her friend Bernadette in Dublin. She says “we have been considering that those vile wedding dresses with all their low-cutness and sheer panelling have to go and now”.
She continues “They are like lingerie and leave nothing to the imagination. It’s like those brides are inviting the whole congregation into the bridal suite, including their nan”.Well said ladies! Appalling. It’s Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x
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