It is never pleasant when someone you have long stuck up for does something so obviously wrong that you cannot defend it; worse, when you are disgusted by it. It is like when your parents and your friends all hate your boyfriend, whom you defend with alacrity – they don’t understand him, he is really, really, great if only they got to know him. Then, after you are forced to break up through their relentless pressure, your now-ex boyfriend goes and adds ballast to their bullishness. Of course you are mortified. And of course they are triumphant. It could not be more galling. Because deep down, you still love him and you still think it could have worked,
So it was for us wet, elistist, Liberal, Europhiles, the ones who still mourn our departure from the EU and wish it were otherwise. But it is hard to sit atop the moral high ground when the Beloved Object tries to steal your vaccines; worse, when it tries to steal your vaccines because it failed to make timely arrangements to lay in its own supplies; and downright unbearable when in order to carry out this mugging, it plays extra dirty by threatening to impose a vaccine border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland if it didn’t get its way.
But to be fair, Ursula von der Leyden and co deserve the obloquy and more. Theirs was a cornucopia of errors. They were too slow to get the vaccine programme rolled out across Europe, particularly in comparison with the UK. (WTF had better declare an interest on this point, because she had her first jab on Thursday afternoon, and the organisation of the whole thing was top notch). UK had ordered loads of vaccine from Pfizer, and other vaccine is being made in the UK by Oxford/AstraZeneca, but they demanded that our ordered doses be diverted to the EU, and when the drug manufacturers refused, went all Don Corleone and threatened to withhold export permissions to the UK. And then took another jab by stirring up the unresolved problem of the Irish border by threatening to involve Art. 16 of the Brexit deal, thereby managing to unite Johnson, the Ulster Unionists and the Irish Government in causing them all to explode with anger and complain about being bullied and being overridden and all sorts.
And that is not even the worst part. The worst part is that Boris Johnson was able to tell von der Leyden to get stuffed, not once but twice, in the space of an evening and to emerge looking like a hero after she crumbled like a freshly-baked Apfel Streusel and duly backed down. How the Daily Mail squealed with orgasmic delight. It was all you could do to keep your breakfast down. The chorus of ‘I-told-you-sos’ flowed across the country like a river bursting its banks. Things are difficult enough over here, Frau von der Leyen. Please desist from making them harder. Oh – and buy your own bloody vaccine. We need ours.
We start our review of the week’s shocking suits and boots with model Kendall Jenner off to Pilates wearing Mad Happy.
WTF aficionado @Net_en_ya_hoo was appalled by this get up. Responding to WTF’s complaints last week about Britain being a laughing stock, she wrote ‘You think Britain is a laughing stock ??? Kendal Jenner’s clingy cranberry leggings have got to go!!!! #mingehighlighters eeks and vomits’. And she is not wrong. The sweat top resembles a crime scene from CSI Miami and those leggings display more camel toe than a camel park in Morocco. Yikes.
And now a newcomer to these pages, actor Aldis Hodge promoting his new movie One Night In Miami wearing Burberry.
Not only is he clad in lairy checks which are a trifle snug over the goolies, AND not only is he also wearing a sleeveless waistcoat-cum-capelet, BUT ALSO he has a horribly-clashing shirt. Burberry seem to have influenced by the late, unlamented, Duke of Windsor, who also had a penchant for lairy checks, as well as for skinny American women and Nazis.
She is back! WTF speaks of singer Billie Eilish wearing a murd.333r sweatshirt, nYC VIBEZ sweatpants and Moon Boots, all in a nasty shade of lime green.
Billie has always dressed somewhat eccentrically, but here she has outdone herself and is going out and about dressed as a Mutant Ninja Turtle. And that hair is an It’s Got To Go all on its own…..
Another regular awaits our appalled gaze, singer Rita Ora wearing Carolina Herrera.
Rita has dipped in the public favour following more revelations about her 30th birthday party in a swanky London restaurant during lockdown, which resulted in the manager being sacked. So here she is trying to swagger her way through the scandal, promoting a remake of Oliver Twist called Twist. The dress fabric looks like the wallpaper in an upmarket knocking shop, the William Morris tights are just a ridiculous item with no relationship to the dress and the hairstyle would look much better on a pampered pooch.
This next one is BAD. Here is Chloe Crowhurst, the ‘star’ of a past series of Love Island wearing whatever the hell this is.
First of all, WTF, who is ever mindful of health and safety, cannot fathom how Chloe can walk half a metre without tripping arse over tit on those tassels. Second, whoever did her makeup needs a slap, a P45 and another slap, because Chloe looks as if she has been recently exhumed. And third, if Glenn from Village People was mauled by a feral dog, this is what he would have looked like.
Next up, we have top model Winnie Harlow wearing a PVC frock by Christian Cowan.
Oh dear. Fuchsia Barbie is alive and well and partying in Los Angeles, threatening us with an imminent Minge Moment.
And finally, one of WTF’s favourite favourites, singer Ashanti, wearing a jacket by Alexander McQueen.
Ashanti is the one in the black bodystocking and slippers on the far left end of the ladies in the picture on the top of the blog, as well as the avatar for @WTF_EEK (look, we’ve had this discussion before, what do you mean you don’t follow me on Twitter?). She never disappoints in her ghastly clothing and this is no exception. The McQueen jacket is a dinosaur’s wet dream and she has forgotten to put anything on with the jacket, which is simply silly.
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from all the citizens of Scotland and concerns Eric Trump, younger son of the President by his first marriage. As WTF has remarked before, Eric’s primary purpose is to make village idiots feel good about themselves, but he also happens to have run Daddy’s property empire when Daddy was playing President, including two golf courses in Scotland, Turnberry and Trump International.
Green MSP Patrick Harvie this week called for an investigation into the sources of finance for the acquisition of these golf courses, at which young Eric was in high indignation. He called Harvie ‘a national embarrassment with his pathetic antics’ and berated the Scottish Government for putting off big important investors like him and his pop. (Harvie is an Opposition MSP). Eric then said that ‘At a critical time when politicians should be focused on saving lives and reopening businesses in Scotland, they are focused on advancing their personal agendas’. This from the man whose father ignored Covid-19 in the USA and caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people. And to date neither golf club has paid any tax to the Scottish Government. Frankly, Eric can fuck right off and take his disgusting family with him. It’s Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in as they keep WTF chipper, and don’t forget your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again on next Friday. Be good and stay safe.