Hallo Readers,

Whilst WTF has been on blog holiday, it has all gone off with Donald Trump and Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen. You may recall that Cohen is the generous lawyer who sorted out Trump’s problems with women he did not schtupp, including porn star Stormy Daniels, by paying them off with his own money through a dodgy Delaware company set up for the purpose, again from his own funds. Cohen says he did not tell his client anything about the pay offs to Stormy, and perhaps other ladies, because Trump was too busy running for President at the time, and, once elected as President, was too busy tweeting and playing golf to be bothered with such trivial matters. Last week, the New York Court issued warrants for New York’s finest to raid Cohen’s offices and his Midtown hotel room and to take away loads of stuff which may or may not be privileged, depending on whether what was being discussed was legal business or criminal business or not legal business at all. Trump claimed Cohen’s premises had been “broken into” and now everyone is running about like Duracell bunnies demanding injunctions and disclosure of documents and declarations and depositions and accusing everyone else of bad faith and all manner of misfeasance. So Trump’s lawyer is under investigation by the Feds and has had to get a lawyer, and Trump has had to get new lawyers to stop the Feds getting their hands on documents about what he did or didn’t say to his former lawyer, and what he did or didn’t know about the pay-off to Stormy Daniels. And then there is Stormy Daniels and her lawyer, Michael Avenatti. (As far as WTF can see, Avenatti has not been home in weeks and has changed his address to care of CNN because, as WTF’s late dad used to say, he’s always on.). Avenatti wants to talk to Trump and is talking to Trump’s lawyers. And then there are Trump’s other lawyers, not Cohen, or the ones he had to replace Cohen with after Cohen got his own lawyer, but the lawyers he already had to deal with the Russia investigation. Those lawyers are telling him not to speak to Mueller (who is a lawyer) because Trump cannot be trusted not to perjure himself as he is a pathological liar and if you lie to the Feds, you can end up in big trouble. Just ask Michael Flynn and George Papadopoulos.

Meanwhile when Cohen and Cohen’s lawyers and Trump’s lawyers, the ones he hired to replace Cohen, who now has his own lawyer, and the New York DA and his lawyers and Stormy Daniels and her lawyer, all went to court this week to discuss who should see what documents from Cohen’s office and it turned out that Cohen had two other clients or possible clients. One is a ghastly pig from the Republican National Committee, who had impregnated a bunny girl. The other is Sean Hannity, the rabid and rebarbative Fox News host. Except Hannity says he was not a client and never paid him anything and just asked occasionally for some free legal advice. WTF told you, Readers. You do not get many lawyers like that; or, indeed, any. Although lots and lots of lawyers are making lots and lots of money, Michael Cohen continues as the Mother Teresa of Manhattan….

ps Last week, in between worrying about Cohen, and berating James Comey’s new book and calling for his arrest, Trump bombed Syria. It is amazing that he found the time.


Off we go into the week’s sartorial shockers (and some from a week or two back) with sleaze-bucket Michael Cohen wearing Isaia.

As WTF previously tweeted on @WTF_EEK, Cohen should be locked up on the basis of the jacket alone, let alone any other nefarious activities in which he may have been involved. $3,000 is a criminal amount for money for a jacket that manifestly does not fit, and frankly  he needs to take a size up. At the very least. #lockhimup

Model and actress Olivia Culpo wearing Calzedonia.

She has a great body but this is not even clothes. This is a bikini as seen through a mullion window.

Here is actress Chloe Hurst at the premiere of  the movie I feel Pretty.

There is too much of most things and not enough of others. She looks as if she has gone three rounds with a sabre-toothed tiger….and lost.

Next up is singer Britney Spears, wearing Giannina Azar.

This is pretty much what Britney wears every time she pops out of an evening, i.e. titsy, tawdry and way too short. But this one has two distinguishing features. First, it is so tight around the tits that she is practically rubbed raw; and second, that fake tan foot blotch, like white bits on a horse, has got to go. Yikes.

Ain’t I cute?

Actor Wilson Cruz  at the Glaad (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Gala wearing Vivienne Westwood.

Westwood seems to have bought up all the blue and yellow checked cloth which explains why Michael Cohen’s $3,000 jacket is too small. It is safe to say that Dame Viv has not skimped on the fabric here. Michael and Wilson could each have a trouser leg with room to spare.

This is actress Isabella Rossellini, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.

WTF was having her hair cut the other day and showed this photograph to her stylist who guffawed in horror, as well she might when someone is walking around like a choirmaster with a ruffled clerical cotta fashioned from an old stage curtain. She looks like her mother, mused WTF. “Who was that?’ asked the stylist. “Ingrid Bergman” said WTF. “Who?” asked the stylist. WTF turned her head away and wept.

Here is another guest at the same event, designer August Getty.

There is a lot going on here,  and none of it good. He looks like Lee Marvin in The Man Who Shot Liberty Vallance.

This is singer Leona Lewis at the Daily Front Row 4th Annual Fashion Awards wearing Marc Jacobs.

Oh dear. Those trousers make her look like Stumpy, the eighth of the seven dwarves, she has a ridiculous sheer top with a sheer green poloneck, as if it has gone mouldy, and a 1940s wartime headscarf that makes her look like Rosie the Riveter.

Finally, this one is bad. BAD. Greet ridiculous Moschino designer Jeremy Scott wearing Jeremy Scott

OMG! Here he is greeting socialite Derek Blasberg.

WTF can say with some confidence that this is just about the stupidest thing she has ever seen, part City gent, part gladiator, part falcon-handler. Beyond frightful….

This week’s It’s Got To Go is more They’ve Got to Go and comes from WTF who wants anyone and everyone in the Home Office sacked who had any responsibility for throwing out the landing records for the Windrush generation whom we asked to come here to man our transport and health service. Now, their kids are being thrown out because they can’t prove they had permission to be here when the Home Office itself destroyed the evidence. Abject. Don’t let these buggers retire on their fuck-off index linked pensions whilst the people whose lives they have ruined arterrified and some are being denied urgent medical treatment despite paying taxes their whole adult life. They’ve Got To Go .

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in your top comments and your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x


4 responses to “WTF Lawyers Special”

  1. What surprises me more is that WTF allows her hair to be cut by someone who has never heard of Ingrid Bergman

  2. fashionshark

    But I didn’t know she didn’t know. And she is only 25.

    1. Lord Dodo

      I had the almost the exact same experience in a shared London cab ride with a group of delightful international students from Malaysia on Wednesday. ‘Paul Newman – who is he? #teenageheartthrob

  3. Bespoke Decorative Finishes

    Cohen looks like he’s right out of Hollywood casting for a Mafia movie!!

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