Hallo Readers,

You see, this is how it goes. It starts with calling the 48% who voted Remain “Remoaners”. Then there is an attack on the Lord Chief Justice and two members of the Court of Appeal as “enemies of the people” when they rule that Article 50 has to be put to a Parliamentary vote. One judge is called out for being a “an openly gay fencer”. The Lord Chancellor is so cowed by the press, especially the Daily Vile, that she abrogates her sworn constitutional duty to defend the judiciary. The woman who brings the action asking whether Article 50 should go to a Parliamentary vote receives racial abuse and death threats. The Supreme Court gets the same treatment. The Lord Chancellor again bottles it. Article 50 is duly passed with a craven capitulation by the Opposition and the Tory MPs who support the EU, save for the awesome Ken Clarke. But still, the very idea MPs want to challenge and question the final Brexit deal is too much for our Prime Minister. This week, having denied that she would call a snap General Election, she called a snap General Election on the basis that “although the Country is coming together (really?), Parliament is not” and “division in Westminster will risk our ability to make a success of Brexit.” The Opposition opposing! How very dare they? The Daily Vile trumpeted “Crush the Saboteurs!” whilst The Sun literally screamed “Blue Murder!”, crowing that May would “kill off Labour” and would “smash rebel Tories too”. President Erdogan would approve. Well done Theresa. Let us rid ourselves of anyone who dares to question your stance on Brexit. Not that we know what it is. Not that you know what it is. Groucho Marx used to sing

Whatever it is, I’m against it

No matter what it is or who commenced it

I’m against it.

This is the opposite. In the world of President Maydogan, whatever it is, you have to be for it – or you will be for it. Never mind that the referendum was not about the terms on which we would leave Brexit.  Yes meant shut the fuck up forever. On June 8, the tumbrils will roll down the streets and those MPs who dared to question our glorious Brexit Deal (tba) will be despatched into oblivion with only their Parliamentary pensions to live on.

In the world of President Maydogan, the fact that she said one thing (repeatedly) and then went back on it is irrelevant. Walking through Snowdonia with her husband, it dawned on her that she needed an election because the Opposition might, you know, oppose (the clue is in the name, love). The fact that Labour crumbled like a newly-baked loaf and voted with the Government on Article 50 is irrelevant. The fact that neither Parliament nor the electorate has any idea what deal we will get, or won’t get, is irrelevant. It is the patriotic duty of every citizen to back President Maydogan WHATEVER HAPPENS. We have to look united or those foreigners will sense weakness and go for the jugular. The fact that Corbyn may be kicked into oblivion is also irrelevant. 

Readers, here’s the thing. President Maydogan might say that this is an election about Brexit but just because she says it does not mean that it is or that it has to be. It can be about whatever the electorate wants it to be about and that includes failing schools, failing hospitals, the £350m a week for the NHS that seems to have gone walkies, failing public services, a fair tax system and the end of fat cats getting away with anything and everything. As far as WTF is concerned, President Maydogan’s decision to go to the polls is cynical opportunism wrapped up in a big bow of deception. Don’t let her get away with it. ….

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Meanwhile, let us distract ourselves with the week’s fashion follies, starting with Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice (seen with their cousin Prince William) going to church at Windsor on Easter Sunday.

Eugenie is wearing Burberry with a very silly hat by Goldust Milliners and looks like Inspector Gadget in drag.

Beatrice is wearing a lace tablecloth by All Saints and a metallic coffee bean on her head by JBH Millinery. These sisters have no idea. None at all.

To New York and Model Gigi Hadid, wearing Morgan Lane.

Sleepwalker alert! They may cost $538 but they are pyjamas. They are made as pyjamas. They are sold as pyjamas. Just because Gigi is wearing dainty little sandals and a pair of specs does not convert them into outdoor wear. It just makes her look silly.

Next up, we have actor Christopher Meloni at the premiere of Free Fire.

Why is it that actresses are forced to dress up to the nines for premieres whilst actors just turn up as if they were en route to collect a takeaway? WTF is devoted to Christopher, who played moody, manly Elliott Stabler in her favourite show Law and Order: Special Victims’ Unit for 11 years before he flounced off because they wouldn’t pay him enough. But even WTF’s devotion to him cannot excuse this mess, especially the horrid teeshirt/sweater combo and the back-to-front baseball cap for which there is no excuse, not even of any kind.

Now we have Frieda Pinto at the premiere of her new Sky TV series, Guerilla, wearing Bally.

As WTF aficionado Belinda rightly observed, these are “make-me-a-short-arse” trousers with seams more puckered than a bee-stung bum and horrible hems, exacerbated by the unflattering length of the very boxy jacket. Not to mention the S&M necklace. Just Bally awful.

To the preenfest that is the Coachella festival in California, where luvvies and models various parade in artful hip. Here is actor Jared Leto, wearing Gucci. He never wears anything else.

He is wearing a bank robber’s mask with sunglasses! Are they also Gucci? Knowing him, they probably are. The ridiculous studded and bleached denim jacket is a ridiculous $3,900. You would not want to nestle on the wearer’s shoulder or you would have indentations like an Elizabeth Shaw mint.

The ridiculous teeshirt is a ridiculous $577. And he is wearing a flamingo pink woolly hat in 35 degrees. Ridiculous.

Also sporting ridiculous denim was singer and actress Ryan Destiny wearing jeans “styled” by celebrity stylist Scot Louie.

“Styled” is one word for it. “Grievous bodily harm” are three more. Scot has inflicted grievous bodily harm on an innocent pair of jeans by removing one vital element, to whit, the whole of the right side so that the only thing holding them up is the belt. One-legged jeans are as much use as tits on a fish. Period (as Sean Spicer would say). 

Here we go with more Sheer Tedium, It is not going away, clearly. First up, model Kara del Toro.

Kara is wearing a cobweb and tiny black panties. A veritable mingerama.

Finally, we have singer and reality show judge, Paula Abdul. Who knows what this is?

The designer remains anonymous. Good call. Paula is wearing a froth of spotted tulle and ruffles over a slip with Mickey Mouse ears, showcasing spherical tits and resembling an exploded negligee. When did nightwear become evening wear, any more than it became street wear?

This week’s It’s Got to Go has been brought to WTF’s attention by aficionado Sally from Totteridge, who came upon these absolutely shocking boots.

Sally, you will be appalled to learn that these pigs-trotters-cum-cameltoe bootees are in fact by Maison Martin Margiela and cost about £650. They are called Tabi boots, based on a Japanese design and were first launched a couple of years ago. Why anyone would want to spend a small fortune on porcine/vaginal footwear is anyone’s guess but It’s Got to Go.