WTF Brexit Ballsup Special

Hallo Readers, 

Do you remember all that stuff about Sovereignty and UK Parliament making UK laws and UK Courts not bowing down to Foreign Judges and unelected bureaucratic fat cats?  Well, Brexiteers, be careful what you wish for. Because now you have it. On Thursday, the Lord Chief Justice, the Master of the Rolls and Lord Justice Sales ruled that Mrs May cannot trigger Article 50 without first getting permission from Parliament. So our elected MPs and unelected Lords must approve the irrevocable step of leaving, which is what invoking Article 50 is. It is not like buying a telly with 14 days to get your money back. And our Court has made a decision. But are Farage and the Brexiteers and some of their knuckle-dragging supporters happy? No they are not. They are as rabid as a rabid dog with extra rabies. Call the RSPCA! Start the inoculation programme!

The UK has no written constitution but the laws about Prerogative go back to 1610 and The Case of Proclamations when Sir Edward Coke said “The King by his proclamations or in other ways cannot change any part of the common law or statute law or the customs of the Realm”. Which means that only Parliament can make – and unmake – laws. The Referendum instructed the Government to implement Brexit but implementation cannot ignore the Parliamentary process. Neither the Monarch nor the Prime Minister can prescribe or alter the law without Parliamentary assent. Withdrawing from the EU by triggering Article 50 would be to alter the laws currently bestowing rights on us through our Membership of the EU.  So to change those rights, Parliament must approve the change. Simples. 

The knuckle-draggers do not give a toss about the Case of Proclamations. They were told the result would be binding, 52% voted to leave and er, that’s it. Anyone insisting on due process is a traitor. That includes the woman who brought the High Court challenge, Gina Miller, and the Judges who upheld her case.  The Daily Mail was so angry that one expected to see little pieces of editor Paul Dacre flying all over Kensington High Street, where it has its offices. Ms Miller, who was born in British Guyana (then a British colony) was described as “South American”, although she has lived here for 41 years. She is also not white so how very dare she meddle? She was further reviled for being married to a billionaire hedge fund owner. Apparently hedge fund owners are evil although we heard no such complaints when billionaires Crispin Odey and Sir Michael Hintze poured their fortunes into the Leave campaign’s coffers. 

The Daily Bile then went for the three “unelected” Judges under the headline “One founded a EUROPEAN law group, another charged the taxpayer millions for advice and the third is an openly gay ex-Fencer”. The gay ex-fencer is Lord Etherton, the Master of the Rolls. A man who waggles his epée both in public and in private is not to be trusted and The Bile also got the fact that he is Jewish into the copy. Enough said!  He must be sacked! All three must be sacked! They are Enemies of the People!!!! They are political activists sneering at the common man!!!!  The Government is now off to the Supreme Court where more unelected Lefties, Jews and Europhiles will flout the will of the people. The Bile has already had a go at them in anticipation of the appeal being dismissed. Lord Neuberger has a sister who is a Rabbi. He needs a slap. Lady Hale is a “feminist who hates marriage”. She should be strung up. It is like living in Turkey.

The Bile is a hateful rag but it is not alone in holding these views. Look on Twitter, listen to the radio, watch TV and hear the ignorant ranting and raving, threatening all manner of punishment to those who dare to point out that Cameron sold the public a pup, that no-one had properly thought this through and no-one had explained that you could not just wave the Brexit wand and dance up the Yellow Brick Road to a land without foreigners and Directives and straight bananas. But you know what, Readers? If this is their vision of Sovereignty and Democracy and the Rule of Law, then God help us all. Because it is certainly not a land WTF wants to live in.


This week was Halloween and frankly, when making her selections from the week’s sartorial shit-pit, WTF found it very hard to tell who was wearing a costume and who wasn’t. Although we may not plumb the depths of last week, what follows is still very bad….

We start with diva-de-luxe Mariah Carey nursing a broken heart in YSL leather trousers and Louboutin tart’s trotters.

Mariah clearly did not get the memo that tits are so over, rather like her engagement to billionaire Jamie Packer which has just gone tits up. Mariah is keeping the ring ($10m) and is also said to be demanding $50m compensation for having moved herself and her twins (Mariah’s kids, not her chest, although that went too) to LA to be with her then beloved. Who says romance is dead? Anyway, the trousers make her like a freshly-skinned cadaver after Ramsay Bolton from Games of Thrones had finished playing with it whilst the shoes are not only ugly but ridiculous.

Talking of GoT, this is Gwendoline Christie a.k.a. Brienne of Tarth, wearing a bin bag of unknown provenance. Probably the bin bag shelf at Sainsbury’s.

You know when people say she could wear a bin bag and look good? Well, Gwendoline is wearing a bin bag and she looks absolutely  bloody awful.

Next up, we have actor James Norton at the Harpers Bazaar Women of the Year Bash, wearing Gucci.

James is handsome but he looks like a bookie’s runner in an ill-fitting suit. There is something very strange about the fit of those trousers, as if there were a couple of saucers in the pockets.

Now we have actress Gia Coppola at the LACMA Art & Cinema Gala, also wearing Gucci.

Like a nautical firework. And, sadly, a damp squib.

This is country singer Brantley Gilbert at the BMI County Music Awards. That pink thing around his neck is not part of the outfit.

Sadly, the back-to-front baseball cap IS part of the outfit. Here is a WTF rule. Anyone who wears a back-to-front baseball cap is a prat. Anyone who wears a back-to-front baseball cap with a suit is a massive prat. And looks like one. There is more disdain for the walking boots.

Meet actress Cara Santana wearing Ashi Studio Couture.

Cara appears to be wearing a lacy tortoise shell and WTF is sorry to observe that her tits have been flattened flatter than a couple of pancakes. You know Tom & Jerry cartoons where Tom gets run over by a steam roller?

Remind you of anything?

Finally, we have one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice, wearing something from her local boutique, Robin’s Closet.

This cameltoe-hugging, thrush-inducing, shimmerfest is nearly as big a crime as the one that put first Teresa and then her husband Joe into the slammer for fraud.  Is she out on licence? Because this has to be breach of her parole……

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from an incensed WTF of Islington and concerns FIFA. It is apparently OK for a FIFA bigwig to take bribes and to award the World Cup to a place hotter than Hades in a heatwave. But it is not OK for England and Scotland, who play each other on Armistice Day in a World Cup qualifier, to wear poppies either on their shirt or on an armband as it is “a political gesture”. To which WTF says, FIFA, you can fuck right off. Because both Home Nations will honour their fallen on 11 November and you can take your edict and shove it where the sun don’t shine. FIFA – It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. There were excellent comments last week so keep them coming. Not to mention your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday, that is unless Trump has won the election, in which case WTF will be residing at her local mental health facility and unable to write because her arms will be bound and she will be heavily medicated. Be good x



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5 Responses to WTF Brexit Ballsup Special

  1. Joshua LaPorte
    Joshua LaPorte says:

    Love the Sainsbury’s bin bag bit.

  2. Joyce W says:

    The Gucci outfit must’ve looked ludicrous on the hanger – why would Coppola even look at it twice let alone wear it!

  3. To use a poker metaphor, I’ll see your Brexiters and raise you one Tea Party.
    Your “Daily Bile” is an amateur compared to its American cousins.
    For eight years we have been hearing that Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen (a phrase from the Constitution detailing the three qualifications required to become President of the United States) because his father was black, Muslim, and Kenyan, and therefore he is a usurper.
    While proclaiming how not-racist they are, the bigots have blossomed like weeds. That there are the descendants of slaves at the White House is unacceptable. Rancid jokes that were once told only in private are now proudly prefaced with “I know I’m not being politically correct, but…”
    When Mr. Obama was elected in 2008 there was talk that the United States had become a “post racial” society. By the time he won reelection four years later it had become obvious that his political victories were the result of the majority of American voters looking at the Republican candidates and finding them to be so unpalatable that they voted for the black guy.
    Mariah Carey. If you can’t walk unassisted in your shoes, they aren’t shoes, they are furniture.
    I have to disagree with the memo saying that “tits are so over”. I like tits. Something to do with a couple million years of evolution. Where I will agree is that her outfit is basically a flashing (pun intended) neon sign announcing “Tits Are Here”. I’m a reasonably bright fellow and I can find tits without asking for directions. Same for minge.
    Gia Cuppola. That outfit reminded me of the horizontal hold control gone crazy on an old style television. Your older readers may have to explain that to the youngsters.

    • fashionshark
      fashionshark says:

      Andrew it is not my memo, it is Vogue’s which decreed recently that cleavage was OVER.

      On Mariah, I agree wholeheartedly and have nothing to add. Except those is worth $500 herself and doesn’t need Jamie’s money.

      Im re election – I am living in fear xx

      • Oh darn! I shouldn’t have let my subscription to Vogue expire.
        The author of the memo was clearly born without the XY chromosome. Tits are not over. Guys look at tits. They’re kind of like car crashes without the noise.
        Speaking of car crashes. The election. You’re living in fear? I’m living in the middle of it.
        Oh well. Barring surprises it will be over tonight.

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