If ever there was an oxymoron, it is “House Intelligence”, as in House Intelligence Committee which is currently investigating connections between the Trump election campaign and/or Transition Team and Russia. Its little arsewipe of a Chairman, Devin Nunes, is a former member of the Trump transition team, which is In itself a trifle iffy. 10 days ago, Nunes suddenly went to the White House to brief the President on some top secret information he had got from “a source”. He did not inform his colleagues on the Committee about his intended trip. He did not tell them about the documents, much less share them. He told the Press that the new information he had supported the theory that some members of the Trump team might have been surveilled, seemingly shoring up Trump’s unsupported tweets that Obama had tapped his phone. Nunes said he had gone to the White House the previous evening to meet an unnamed person to look at the unspecified information and then had gone back to the White House the next day to tell the President about what he had learned from the unnamed person, but that the Trump administration had not known about his first visit and the source was not from the White House, which rather begs the question what the hell that person was doing at the White House at all. The White House is the centre of the Trump administration. As far as WTF is aware, the White House does not take in lodgers. People tend to be there because they are working for the Trump Administration. Equally you cannot just stroll into the White House. You need an appointment. Someone has to sign you in. Someone has to sign you out. Despite this, there is apparently no record of Nunes’ arrival or departure.
Outrage abounded, particularly amongst his Committee colleagues but Nunes refused to tell them what he had learned or from whom. He then unilaterally changed the next Committee hearing from public to private; admitted that the information he had seen did not back up Trump’s claims that Obama had tapped his phone; and refused to resign. He saw nothing wrong with the Chairman of a Committee investigating the President having a cosy chat with that President about the investigation and giving the impression to all and sundry that he was trying to save him from scrutiny. This week, Nunes upped his game. He unilaterally cancelled even the private hearing that was supposed to take place on Monday, which was scheduled to hear from the former Attorney-General who had first warned Trump about the contacts between his former National Security Adviser, Mike “Lock Her Up” Flynn and the Russkies. The one who was sacked for lying about those contacts. The one who is now seeking immunity in exchange for testifying. That Mike Flynn.
Yesterday, The Failing New York Times named two White House officials as Nunes’ source. One of them had narrowly avoided the push after Flynn’s departure on the personal intervention of Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon. The other one was a former lawyer on – wait for it – the House Intelligence Committee. It is of course a complete coincidence that after this story appeared – denounced by Trump as a lie – the White House suddenly invited both Nunes and his Democrat colleague Adam Schiff, plus their Senate counterparts, to come over to look at documents. So Nunes is going back to the White House to look at a document he was shown 10 days ago by the President’s staff and which he went back to the White House to show the President, who already knew about it anyway. He seems to be in and out of the White House like a fiddler’s elbow. With the emphasis on fiddle.
You know what Readers? It stinks. It stinks worse than a warehouse of fish where the freezers have been turned off. And what makes it stinkier is that this little arsewipe is still Chairman of the Oxymoronic Committee and the White House is still denying any complicity and Sean Spicer is still promising to look into the whereabouts of the Visitors’ Book and Trump is still calling this Fake News. And what makes it yet stinkier is that the whole thing is so bloody inept and yet we are expected to believe these blatant liars – and that they continue to voice outrage that we do not believe them. This is simply the death of shame. Bastards.
We start our review of the sartorial shockers of the week with Donald Trump’s hair.
Seriously, what the fuck IS this? It is a comb-over combined with a side-over combined with a widow’s peak. When you own hair looks like a bad wig, it is time to rethink your hair.
Next up, we have actress Sara Escudero, wearing who knows what.
Sara, a grown woman, is dressed like as bordello Tinkerbell.
Next up we have actor Jason Sudeikis at the premiere of his new movie Colossal.
Never mind Colossal, Jason looks a colossal chump. He is clearly channelling the late Benny Hill.
Jason is somewhat underdressed in comparison with his co-star, Anne Hathaway, wearing Armani.
Jason rolls up looking like a schloch whilst Anne parades in a preposterous couture frock with a colossal lace thing poking her in the face, as if she were peeking out from behind a fan. How is this fair?
Meet actress Dania Ramirez,wearing Gosia Bacznyska.
This is just terribly, terribly, terrible, denim offcuts with a pube porthole. What the bag has to do with the price of fish, WTF cannot say, but it is BAD.
This is Gogglebox’s Sandi Bogle at the National Television Awards, wearing KiKi Riki.
If the Sugar Plum Fairy went to a fancy dress party dressed as a flamenco dancer savaged by a bull, this is what she would look like. There is a great deal of tattooed tit. Apparently at one point there was even more tit when one “accidentally” fell out in front of the paparazzi. Yeah. Right.
And now a trio of lacy horror in our Sheer Tedium feature. We start with model Bianca Balti at the Dolce & Gabbana party, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
The top has shrunk in the wash and regular Readers will know that WTF hates a sheer trouser almost above all things.
And then we have former model and new America’s Got Talent Judge Tyra Banks.
Tyra has gone one better than Bianca because she has a lace suit! A double-breasted lace jacket is much use as mudguards on a tortoise and whilst Tyra has knickers on, the effect is of abundant pubes. Extra minus points for the purple lipstick and the ridiculous stance, like a toddler about to do a wee-wee.
She’s back! Readers’ favourite Nancy dell’Olio emerged from a period of obscurity, which frankly we were all enjoying, at an event in the National Portrait Gallery. Brace yourselves.
As you know, criticism is alien to WTF’s nature, but Nancy’s face is shinier than a snooker ball in floodlights at the Crucible. There seems to have been some interference with the workings of nature. As for the dress, it is an abomination.
By all means wrap yourself in a lace curtain if you must, but at least make sure it fits. The zip appears to have surrendered and the nude under-slip is short enough to make onlookers very worried.
This week’s It’s Got To Go is another example of the Death of Shame. WTF nominates Andy Coulson, the former editor of the News of the Screws, who did time inside for presiding over phone hacking. Now Coulson’s company is doing PR for The Telegraph papers and his main brief is thought to be to promote them as truthful and authoritative. Ye Gods. He’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. This has been another traumatic week and WTF needs your comments and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go to keep her even vaguely sane. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x