It’s here!! The WTF Christmas Turkey is back and more horrible than ever. No really – what follows is a series of really revolting fashion disasters, as bad as any collection WTF has ever compiled.
WTF has no idea what is going on but sartorially speaking, 2016 is the Year of the Minge Moment. There was masses of it everywhere. There is quite a lot of in these nominations. And WTF wants to know why? Why? WHY? When did it become OK to flash your lady parts in public? Because in WTF’s book, it never was and it never will be. Never has “fashion” sunk to such levels of utter vulgarity. The sheer tedium trend still has not gone away and even when people are covered up, they look no better. As you will see…
So, lovely Readers, it is over to you. Your job is to wade through this sea of sartorial shockingness and to select as many people as you want from the 20 nominees. There is none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here. Vote early and vote often and make sure that everyone you know does the same. Should you choose to do so, you can also leave scathing comments to go with your votes. The results will be published in the next blog which will be – wait for it!!!! – Friday 13th January 2017 because WTF is off on a lengthy trip to the Antipodes to get away from this dreadful post-Brexit Godforsaken country, if only for a little while. Will she come back sunnier for the break? Let us hope so.
All that remains is to wish you all a very happy Christmas/Chanukah/other and a Happier New Year and to thank you all for putting up with this schizophrenic mixture of politics and fashion and whimsy and vitriol and even showing signs of quite liking it. See you next year. Be good.
RIGHT!! HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!
1. Anna Chlumsky, actress, wearing Christian Siriano.
Anna had recently had a baby but that was no excuse for turning up at the Emmys wearing a textured bedspread. The ruching above the knees is particularly pointless.
2. Arrow Benjamin, musician, wearing who knows what.
WTF does not know what is worse – the Amish hat, the floral fabric or the built-in body warmer. But it is all just terribly, terribly terrible.
3.Baddie Winkle, octogenarian internet sensation, wearing not nearly enough.
WTF is all for growing old disgracefully and Baddie is fit as a fiddle but no-one, of whatever age, should venture out with nothing but a few sparkles covering their bits. And those boots! The stick, however, is jolly.
4. Brooke Candy, rapper, wearing Marco Marco.
WTF was sorrowfully forced to draw a comparison between the minge cover and a leaking panty-pad. The whole look is an outrage, including the curtain pulls on her head.
5. Chiara Ferragni, fashion blogger, wearing Dior.
Essentially, this is just a glorified hairdresser’s gown with pleated tits. Not that Chiara is filling them. WTF hates a pleated tit almost above all things and nearly as much as she hates the fact that Dior has gone right down the pan.
Like Tutankhamen with tits – and camel toe. Appalling.
7. Chrissy Teigen, model, wearing Yousef Akbar.
Chrissy sought to pretend that putting her vulva on view was an accident, despite her dress being slashed to the waist with nothing underneath. No-one believed her.
8. Cole Whittle, musician, wearing who knows what.
In short, this is a truly preposterous get-up. Meanwhile, snow boots are rarely required in Amsterdam in early November.
9. Dayanne Mello, model, wearing not nearly enough.
Dayane, like Giulia Salemi below, appeared at the Venice Film Festival for the sole purpose of publicising her pudendum. Job done. Now go away….
10. Elettra Lamborghini, Italian reality “star”, wearing not nearly enough.
11. Elton John, megastar, wearing who knows what.
Elton went strolling around St Tropez in this foul shorts suit. The size of his entourage makes WTF think that one of them could have ironed it for him before he left the villa. The brooch is very Hyacinth Bucket. And clock the matching shirt and trainers….
12. Giulia Salemi, actress, wearing not enough.
Dayane Mello’s partner in crime. If you are going to flash your fanny at a film festival, at least spend half an hour at the spray tanners. And hope that it isn’t windy.
13. Jeremy Scott, designer, wearing something of his own design.
The suit is like the background of an acid-trip cartoon and he has forgotten his shirt. Furthermore, the pink cap and Kermit’s own neon Birkenstocks, singly or in combination, are simply unforgiveable.
14. Kim Kardashian, “celebrity”, wearing Balmain.
Readers, it could not be more simple. If you have to cover your hooha with your hand, there is something wrong with your outfit. And with you for wearing it.
15. Mariah Carey, singer, wearing not nearly enough.
Mariah has recently split with billionaire beau James Packer and seems intent on showing him what he is missing. Not that he is probably missing it. But why should the rest of us have to suffer? There is simply not enough dress and/or too much Mariah. Or both.
16. Nicky Minaj, rapper, wearing Maison Margiela.
Either show your nipples or wear a bra. Do not use strips of masking tape. That is all.
Pam has history for turning up at Red Carpet events covered up from head to toe and wearing sunglasses in the dark whilst dressing her companion in spangly body-stockings with only a few sequins covering the basics. WTF has diagnosed this as Mingehausen by Proxy. Anyway, both of them look ridiculous.
18. Tove Lo, singer, wearing Crap Diem (sic).
This gynaecological garment was designed by Tove’s stylist. It is ghastly. As for the boots, what do they have to do with the price of fish?
19. Tuuli Shipster (see above with Pam Hogg, 17).
20. Lady Victoria Hervey, pointless celebrity, wearing Adolfio Sanchez.
Too late to make the week’s fashion review, Lady Victoria appeared in this horror. She appears to be burning in the flames of hell like the last scene – SPOILER – of Don Giovanni. Very, very bad.
OK, YOU HAVE WORK TO DO! GET VOTING…….