WTF Christmas Turkey Poll 2016

Hallo Readers,

It’s here!! The WTF Christmas Turkey is back and more horrible than ever. No really – what follows is a series of really revolting fashion disasters, as bad as any collection WTF has ever compiled.

WTF has no idea what is going on but sartorially speaking, 2016 is the Year of the Minge Moment. There was masses of it everywhere. There is quite a lot of in these nominations. And WTF wants to know why? Why? WHY? When did it become OK to flash your lady parts in public? Because in WTF’s book, it never was and it never will be. Never has “fashion” sunk to such levels of utter vulgarity. The sheer tedium trend still has not gone away and even when people are covered up, they look no better. As you will see…

So, lovely Readers, it is over to you. Your job is to wade through this sea of sartorial shockingness and to select as many people as you want from the 20 nominees. There is none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here. Vote early and vote often and make sure that everyone you know does the same. Should you choose to do so, you can also leave scathing comments to go with your votes. The results will be published in the next blog which will be – wait for it!!!! – Friday 13th January 2017 because WTF is off on a lengthy trip to the Antipodes to get away from this dreadful post-Brexit Godforsaken country, if only for a little while. Will she come back sunnier for the break? Let us hope so.

All that remains is to wish you all a very happy Christmas/Chanukah/other and a Happier New Year and to thank you all for putting up with this schizophrenic mixture of politics and fashion and whimsy and vitriol and even showing signs of quite liking it. See you next year. Be good.

RIGHT!!  HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!

1. Anna Chlumsky, actress, wearing Christian Siriano.

anna

Anna had recently had a baby but that was no excuse for turning up at the Emmys wearing a textured bedspread. The ruching above the knees is particularly pointless.

2. Arrow Benjamin, musician, wearing who knows what.

qrrow-benjamin

WTF does not know what is worse – the Amish hat, the floral fabric or the built-in body warmer. But it is all just terribly, terribly terrible. 

3.Baddie Winkle, octogenarian internet sensation, wearing not nearly enough.

baddie

WTF is all for growing old disgracefully and Baddie is fit as a fiddle but no-one, of whatever age, should venture out with nothing but a few sparkles covering their bits. And those boots! The stick, however, is jolly.

4. Brooke Candy, rapper, wearing Marco Marco.

brooke

WTF was sorrowfully forced to draw a comparison between the minge cover and a leaking panty-pad. The whole look is an outrage, including the curtain pulls on her head.

5. Chiara Ferragni, fashion blogger, wearing Dior.

chiara

Essentially, this is just a glorified hairdresser’s gown with pleated tits. Not that Chiara is filling them. WTF hates a pleated tit almost above all things and nearly as much as she hates the fact that Dior has gone right down the pan.

6. Chloe Khan, reality star, wearing not nearly enough.

img_0010

Like Tutankhamen with tits – and camel toe. Appalling.

7. Chrissy Teigen, model, wearing Yousef Akbar.

chrissy

Chrissy sought to pretend that putting her vulva on view was an accident, despite her dress being slashed to the waist with nothing underneath. No-one believed her.

8. Cole Whittle, musician, wearing who knows what.

cole-whittle

In short, this is a truly preposterous get-up. Meanwhile, snow boots are rarely required in Amsterdam in early November.

9. Dayanne Mello, model, wearing not nearly enough.

dayane mello

Dayane, like Giulia Salemi below, appeared at the Venice Film Festival for the sole purpose of publicising her pudendum.  Job done. Now go away….

10.  Elettra Lamborghini, Italian reality “star”, wearing not nearly enough.

elettraElettra went to the MTV EMA Awards with everything on display. But did we want to see it? Answer – no. Not even at all.

11. Elton John, megastar, wearing who knows what.

image

Elton went strolling around St Tropez in this foul shorts suit. The size of his entourage makes WTF think that one of them could have ironed it for him before he left the villa. The brooch is very Hyacinth Bucket. And clock the matching shirt and trainers….

12. Giulia Salemi, actress, wearing not enough.

guilia

Dayane Mello’s partner in crime. If you are going to flash your fanny at a film festival, at least spend half an hour at the spray tanners. And hope that it isn’t windy.

13. Jeremy Scott, designer, wearing something of his own design.

jeremy-scott

The suit is like the background of an acid-trip cartoon and he has forgotten his shirt. Furthermore, the pink cap and Kermit’s own neon Birkenstocks, singly or in combination, are simply unforgiveable.

14. Kim Kardashian, “celebrity”, wearing  Balmain.

kk

Readers, it could not be more simple. If you have to cover your hooha with your hand, there is something wrong with your outfit. And with you for wearing it.

15. Mariah Carey, singer, wearing not nearly enough.

mariah

Mariah has recently split with billionaire beau James Packer and seems intent on showing him what he is missing. Not that he is probably missing it. But why should the rest of us have to suffer? There is simply not enough dress and/or too much Mariah. Or both.

16.  Nicky Minaj, rapper, wearing Maison Margiela.

NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 15: Rapper Nicki Minaj attends TIDAL X: 1015 on October 15, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for TIDAL)

Either show your nipples or wear a bra. Do not use strips of masking tape. That is all.

17. Pam Hogg, designer, (right) and (NB) 19. Tuuli Shipster (left), actress, both wearing Pam Hogg. Vote for each separately.

pam-hogg

Pam has history for turning up at Red Carpet events covered up from head to toe and wearing sunglasses in the dark whilst dressing her companion in spangly body-stockings with only a few sequins covering the basics. WTF has diagnosed this as Mingehausen by Proxy. Anyway, both of them look ridiculous.

18. Tove Lo, singer, wearing Crap Diem (sic).

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - NOVEMBER 23: Trove Lo arrives for the 30th Annual ARIA Awards 2016 at The Star on November 23, 2016 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)

This gynaecological garment was designed by Tove’s stylist. It is ghastly. As for the boots, what do they have to do with the price of fish? 

19. Tuuli Shipster (see above with Pam Hogg, 17).

20. Lady Victoria Hervey, pointless celebrity, wearing Adolfio Sanchez.

vic-adolfio-sanchez

Too late to make the week’s fashion review, Lady Victoria appeared in this horror. She appears to be burning in the flames of hell like the last scene –  SPOILER –  of Don Giovanni. Very, very bad.

OK, YOU HAVE WORK TO DO! GET VOTING…….

 

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6 Responses to WTF Christmas Turkey Poll 2016

  1. They were all sooooooo eyewateringly bad that I’ve given them each a vote, then returned and gave Nana Elton another all to himself – what was he thinking, showing off those pasty legs. Havre a good christmas – Lxxx

  2. Michael Scates says:

    Thanks for cheering me up, discovering your blog in the most horrible of years was a little ray of sunshine every Friday. I voted 5 just because Dior really should know better, many of them made me feel a little bit sick but but 4 took the puke biscuit. Merry Christmas!

  3. Oh horrors, where do you begin? They all deserve to be Turkeyfied. I’ll have to go away and recover and then come back later – if I can recruit the strength

  4. Andrew Purcell says:

    Christmas Turkeys? This qualifies as a Parade of Pussies. Or a Twat Trot. I understand that a new reality show called “Where Are My Panties?” is auditioning.
    The boys don’t fare well either. While nobody has matched little Bobby Norris and his cock sock/dong thong/schlong sling, they all seem to have taken fashion advice from the same malevolent and possibly intoxicated Bozo the Clown.
    To steal the promotional line from the “Highlander” movie and TV franchise from a quarter-century ago, “There can be only one.”
    Amidst the baker’s dozen collection of photographs promising or at least implying the appearance of minge, I chose Giulia Salemi as the Christmas Turkey. It may have just been me being numbed by the sheer repetition, but by the time I scrolled down to her picture I had seen so many naughty bits that my first reaction was “She has such pretty eyes”. Think about that. A pretty girl wearing an outfit guaranteed to flash flesh, and I notice her eyes. This is not natural. This is an indictment against the designer for crimes against the male libido.

    • fashionshark says:

      Have a wonderful Christmas Andrew love from WTF x

      • Andrew Purcell says:

        Thank you. And a Texas-sized Merry Christmas back at you.
        Enjoy your trip to the Antipodes. An archaic label. Don’t usually see it used outside of history books.
        One of my nephews went to New Zeeland in the last year. He is an only child making up for being raised on a small ranch and home-schooled.
        I asked him “Why New Zeeland?”
        And he said “Why not?”

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