Hallo Readers,

When you ask the Prime Minister a straight question to which the answer is either “yes” or “no”,  namely are you willing to take part in a face-to-face televised election debate with little Ed Miliband, the most reviled Labour Party leader since the last most reviled Labour Party leader, the answer “can I just say that we have created loads of jobs and fixed the economy and by the way, my dad is bigger than your dad and you are only 1.8 metres tall whereas I am 1.85 metres tall, take that, you little short-arse”  is in no way an answer to the question, not even at all. But for some reason he has been allowed to get way with it. Why has he been allowed to get away with it? And why are all these hot-shot, highly-paid newshounds  on the BBC and ITV and Sky News allowed to allow Call Me Dave and rebarbative Party Chairman, perambulating oil slick Grant Shapps and any other bugger offered up by Tory Central Office, to dodge the question? What exactly is it, Dave, that you are so afraid of? Do tell.

You see, here’s the thing. Having been boxed into a corner and covered in public obloquy for dodging little Ed’s question at Prime Minister’s Questions (the clue is in the name), Dave’s henchman wrote to the broadcasters and told them that because they had buggered him about, he would agree to one debate with 7 participants  (i.e. everyone gets to speaks for 8.5 minutes) but not face to face with little Ed. He won’t say why. His apologists say, well why should he as it is not to his advantage? But surely the issue is not whether it is to his advantage? The issue is whether it is to the voters’ advantage to know exactly for what and for whom they are voting.  It is an obligation owed to the people whom you are asking to put you in power. Explain yourself and let people see if you are better than your rivals. Running away and pretending that it is a point of principle is not presidential. It is cowardly and it is cynical. For shame.

The week following the Oscars and the Brits is always a bit like the road sweepers after the Lord Mayor’s Show but this week proved surprisingly fruitful, starting with Australian actress Jordy Lucas, formerly of Neighbours, wearing this thing by Love and Lemons at the LA prèmiere of Focus.

This would not even pass muster as a nightie, let alone a dress. And the shoes are horrible. The whole thing is horrible.

Also there was her pal, the star of Focus Margot Robbie, wearing Giambattista Valli.

Margot looks as if her head and neck are emerging from a sheep’s bottom, a white waist band is never flattering, not even on a movie star and WTF’s views on see-through skirts are clear. (That’s a no, by the way).

Here is actress Kate Bosworth wearing Angel Sanchez.


Something has gone seriously wrong here. Kate’s head appears to have been superimposed onto someone else’s body and it must be said that a roll neck is rarely a good idea, particularly on a lollipop head like Kate.

Actress Salma Hayek attended Gucci’s show at Milan Fashion Week wearing, er, Gucci.

Salma’s husband François Pinot owns bloody Gucci so you would think that Salma could have her pick of the new collection. Instead, she pitched up in ill-fitting trousers, a schoolboy’s jacket cut most unflatteringly on the hip, some sort of bow like a fin de siècle dandy and a beret last seen on Michelle in ‘Allo ‘Allo. Salma, WTF vill say this only once – non!

This is singer Aluna Francis from popular singing duo Aluna George wearing Just Cavalli at Milan Fashion Week.

Well of course it would be just have to be Just Cavalli would it not? As WTF has previously remarked, just as Versace is Italian for vulgar, Cavalli is the Italian for tawdry. This “dress” is basically a random selection of strips of fabric and the crotch curtains are greatly to be deplored.

To Paris Fashion Week and French actress Frédérique Bel at the ETAM lingerie show wearing perennial offender Stéphane Rolland.

For some reason Frédérique is dressed as a posh Parisienne Pantomine horse complete with a swishing gold tail. WTF says neigh…..

And there was fashionista supreme Anna dello Russo wearing Dries van Noten at his show.

Trapper John lives in Paris. Ghastly…..

Madonna also paraded around Paris this week wearing Alexander Wang shoes, leather, fur, fishnets and stupid gauntlets. 

You would think that after the cape fiasco at the Brits where she fell  arse over tit, Madge would have been wary of tottering about in dodgy footwear. (She should have listened to Giorgio Armani who designed the Cape. He told her to have a hook and she insisted on a tie. He described her as “difficult”, which is like saying lions like meat).  Instead she has more or less lived in these Alexander Wang boots which are no different to ski boots, twice as costly, three times as ugly and just generally foul.

It takes something to be the worst-dressed footballer of all time but Ricardo Quaresma, now of Porto FC and formerly of Chelsea (on loan, he flopped) must now have the nomination sewn up. Apologies that it is not a very good picture but it’s all there is….

What the actual fuck? Leggings the colour of diarrhoea. Some sort of tunic. A cowl-neck sweater (WTF hates cowl neck sweaters almost above all things). The unforgiveable addition of the Louis Vuitton beanie and matching toilet bag. As for the trainers, if you are going to dress as a medieval court jester, you might as well go the whole hog and wear those curly-toed shoe things.

This week’s It’s Got To Go is UKIP playing the political correctness card. Last Friday WTF was appalled to hear shouty UKIP MEP David Coburn on BBC Radio 4’s “Any Questions” and tweeted her view that he was a ranting twat, receiving much support. She then received a tweet from a UKIP supporter accusing her of homophobia. WTF replied that she did not even know that Coburn was gay but that being gay is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card for being a twat. And it isn’t. It so isn’t. Being accused of political incorrectness by UKIP. You couldn’t make it up. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Get busy with the comments and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and let meet again next Friday. Be good.

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6 Responses to WTF IT’S A NO SPECIAL

  1. Lord Dodo
    Rebecca Jay says:

    I have come to the conclusion that Madonna’s constant wearing of gauntlets are to cover age spots (notoriously hard to get rid of – and if you try and fail you can be left with dreadful scarring. WHY TF otherwise would she always sport them? She is extremely vain so the hypothesis fits! Ski boots however (which I have been wearing for the past week) serve a practical purpose, so they might not be pretty but they work. Those shoes Madonna is wearing are possibly THE ugliest shoes I have EVER seen. Maybe you should start a shoe based spin off blog for ugly shoes – there is, regrettably, great potential out there!

    • I agree. I’m not a skier. In my part of Texas we measure snowfall by the decade rather than the year. But I do know that esthetic qualities aside, ski boots are designed for skiing, not the red carpet, not the fashion runway. They are practical and they work. Madonna’s shoes on the other hand, are the equivalent of skiing in flip-flops. Can she walk unassisted for more than three steps in those things without falling down? I can think of doctors in several specialties who will be seeing her for ailments and injuries after an evening of wearing those things.
      A blog about ugly shoes is a great idea, but I think you overestimate the free time and the extra staff that our hostess has available. Too bad. But maybe she might consider dedicating an issue of this blog to footwear follies.

      • Lord Dodo
        Rebecca Jay says:

        Trust me, I do not underestimate her free time. As the person who brought her to the internet and the adulation of her ever growing group of WTF fans almost three years ago, I KNOW she doesn’t have the time – it was said in jest! But yes, a special edition sounds like a fine idea!

  2. Salma. Hayek. Can do no wrong, even badly dressed. Miss Santanico Pandemonium – the best snake dancer ever: .

  3. Sarah Denby says:

    So sad to see a beautiful woman poorly dressed–poor Salma. Madonna is way too old to dress like this, but then again, she always has, so why change? And the Trapper John look was truly scary…
    Well done as always!

    • Tally says:

      Excellent selection WTF. There are no words for Madonna’s remedial shoes, and don’t get me started on the fur. Please just go away, do us all a favour.

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