WTF F-Word (No, Not That one) Special

Hallo Readers,

There was a debate on Newsnight on Tuesday (catch it on i-Player) in which actress Natascha McElhone and academic Mary Beard debated feminism with journalist Angela Epstein. Natascha pointed out that misogyny is now more insidious than ever, particularly the online digital misogyny from nasty little trolls that WTF has written about before. Angela proudly refused to call herself a feminist because “all the battles fought by feminists have been won”. Really? Once Angela stops admiring herself, she might start by worrying about the continuing practices of female genital mutilation and forced marriages. She could take a look at the gender pay gap, at the small number of women in Parliament (146 out of 650) or at the proportion of female Directors to male Directors (19%) or female Judges to male Judges (23%). She might ask herself why The Sun, the UK’s  biggest-selling daily paper, still has a page devoted to women’s tits. She might want to consider why female pop stars (with some exceptions like Adele and Emilie Sandé) choose to sell records by writhing about in orgasmic frenzy in tiny pieces of clothing or why actresses and models feel the need to go about in the Minge Moment dresses featured week after week in this blog. She might ponder why former TV journalists and current Front Benchers Esther McVey, Anna Soubry and Gloria Del Piero have been dubbed “AutoCuties” when former male TV journalists were never accorded nicknames on the basis of their appearance, cute or otherwise. But WTF suspects that Angela won’t be asking herself these questions…..

The F word is still a dirty word as far as some men are concerned, the men who disrespect women, who regard women as objects to be leered at and catcalled and manhandled and insulted and belittled (as the website Everyday Sexism  and twitter link @EverydaySexism record every day). We have a PM who says “Calm down dear” at Question Time. And sadly some women play along with it, make a very good living out of it but do untold damage to other women in doing so because they objectify themselves. WTF does not buy this “I dress like this because I like it” stuff because why would a woman want to look  like a blow-up doll? WTF was unsurprised to read this week that Kanye West said of his fiancée Kim Kardashian that she was more influential than Michelle Obama. Alas, more women probably do look to the brainless, talentless Kim with her fake tits, fake face and fake life than to the beautiful, brainy Mrs Obama with her university degree, her career as a lawyer and her seemingly happy 21 year marriage. Although they love her toned arms. Oh Michelle! If only you had made a sex tape, married twice (the second time for a whole 72 days), sold your life story to the TV cameras and become engaged to a megalomaniac rapper, it could all have been so different. So what did this influential woman identify to Jay Leno this week as the greatest challenge of her life? “It’s honestly, I think, the greatest challenge of my life to have gained 50 pounds and actually, I got on the scale today and it said that I am 50 pounds down”. Because getting back to that “pre-baby body” matters so much more than anything else doesn’t it?

Talking of Kim, here is she on Jay Leno wearing Dolce & Gabbana.

kk jay

The dress looks like a tablecloth and wearing it over black underwear is just plain cheap whilst Kim’s face looks more frozen that the Arctic Circle. If you have lost 50lbs, your  greatest challenge, wearing white lace on TV to showcase that loss is probably not the best way to go about it….

To London where we meet actress Emilia Fox wearing Luisa Beccaria and studded blue suede Louboutins.

emilia

Emilia seems to have been possessed by the spirit of a badly-dressed, middle-aged Meissen shepherdess. And what on earth has happened to her feet? Either this is a case of badly applied self-tan or she has been trampled by an elephant but either way it is bad, bad, bad.

Let WTF now introduce you to US “celebritee” Adrienne Bailon.

adrienne bailon

Adrienne’s main claim to fame, if such it can be called, was that she used to step out with Rob Kardashian, a man who singlehandedly redefines the phrase “waste of space”. Rob also stepped out with Rita Ora, raising the question whether his taste in women is as bad as their taste in men. Anyway here she is attending her 30th birthday bash and flashing her tan-marked breasts in what appears to WTF to be a bed sheet worn as a toga. One hopes that Adrienne did not have to bend over to pick anything up apart, of course, from her cheque from the paparazzi.

This week’s Minge Moment of the Week comes courtesy of model Jessica White wearing Michael Costello at The Angel Ball.

jessica white

This dress is particularly offensive by reason of (i) Jessica’s visible bellybutton and (ii) that little hole-y thing like a pussy peephole. MAKE IT STOP!!!

A little late (the BET Hip Hop Awards took place at the beginning of October) but WTF could not deny Readers this horror. Meet reality star Bambi

BET Hip Hop Awards 2013 - Red Carpet

My eyes! Bambi once appeared in something called Basketball Wives of LA (who watches this drivel?) and now features with her boyfriend, a person going under the name of Lil’ Scrappy, in something called Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Bambi is showcasing her enormous albeit rather flattened knockers in a yellow “dress” slashed to the navel with the unfortunate effect of making them look like a couple of pancakes topped with fried eggs done over easy.

In addition to the joy of discovering Bambi this week, WTF also discovered Alon Livne, a designer who appears to have an aversion to opaque materials. Here is Ciara wearing one of his creations at her birthday party.

image

Ciara is a beauty but this is horrible, a piece of black sheer chiffon wound about her person over tiny black panties like some bizarre version of the Turin Shroud, only with tits. But it seems that women flock to Alon’s designs like flies buzzing around a turd. Here is Kelly Rowland at the BET Black Women Rock Awards and she looks no better.  

Kelly knickers

Oh for Heaven’s sake. Alon must have bought a job lot of the black chiffon. We have had see-through skirts and see-through shirts and see-through trousers but we have never had see-through trousers this see-through because these see-through trousers are as see-through as any see-through trousers ever and are as much use as an inflatable dartboard. The only good news is that Kelly’s knickers are larger than Ciara’s, but it is small, or should that be smalls,  comfort to vexed onlookers….

Also at the BET Black Women Rock Awards was Mariah Carey wearing an Alexander McQueen skirt and what looks like an old bikini top.

mariah

Sigh. Mariah seems to think that she is Gisele Bündchen.  Here is a Newsflash. She isn’t. Pairing a blingy McQueen skirt with a manky bikini top makes Mariah look (i) cheap and (ii) like a gangster’s moll in Puerto Banus, not least because of dangly earrings last seen on EastEnders’ Pat Butcher.

pat butcher

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your comments coming in and let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

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This entry was posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion Disasters, Politics, sexism, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to WTF F-Word (No, Not That one) Special

  1. Tony Ounsworth says:

    It speaks volumes when the least offensive outfit of the lot this week is Pat Butcher’s…

  2. Rebecca Jay says:

    Ahem. I have forwarded this to one of the so called ‘AutoCuties’ who I might tell you was rather dismayed that the press totally forgot to mention that she is also a highly qualified barrister as well as having been a television reporter/journalist/presenter. But that wouldn’t really make for a great story now would it?

  3. fashionshark says:

    But then she would have to have had a brain wouldn’t she? Where is the fun in that? x

  4. Andrew Purcell says:

    A Shroud of Turin with tits?
    After all this time I should know better than to read this while eating breakfast. I’ve got Rice Krispies all over myself.
    About the other “F” word.
    What is a four-letter word for intercourse that ends with the letter “k”?
    A college professor sat head-in-hands and groaned when I brought that one up in class.
    The answer:
    Talk.
    Of course I had been provoked. Dr. G had been lecturing about the armistice that ended World War One and mentioned that British soldiers had been ordered not to have intercourse with enemy soldiers.

  5. Sarah Denby says:

    I loved all of this, especially the comments about the F-word. So many women forget about all those things you mentioned as they admire their latest manicures and wish they could be Kim Kar-trash-ian…. And however does that fried-egg dress stay over her tits???

    Sent from my snazzy little handheld device

    >

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