wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This is the last WTF until 17 April, as the writer and her oldest friend are off to Japan; this being the second attempt, having failed to get off the ground in 2020. Who knows where the world will be by the time we get back?

Anyway, welcome to another addition of what the fuck is going on, a.k.a. week four of the war-or-is-it-a-war against Iran. The Rancid Kumquat says peace talks are ongoing and that Iran is desperate for deal. Which apparently was news to Iran. It is a sad truth that you are more inclined to accept the word of an Iranian Government made up of who knows whom, rather than the president of the United States. But then the president does have form for lying, a list longer than the one Leporello unfolds in Don Giovanni with the names of every one of his master’s sexual conquests on it. It is not clear to whom the president is speaking, because that he claims not to know who is running the country, if indeed anybody is, given that he has wiped out the leadership and, says he, has wiped out their successors as well. It is of course a coincidence that the talks with these men of mystery came to light hours before the Rancid Kumquat’s ultimatum to open up the Strait of Hormuz or face Armageddon was just about to run out and he has since granted a further extension until 6 April. But what does WTF know about the intricacies of international diplomacy? Perhaps this is how it is done, by talking to people you have no idea about in order to settle military conflicts, like an episode of The Masked Singer; only this time the prize is the end of bombing rather than a recording contract and a permanent slot in the Daily Mail’s Sidebar of Shame.

Meanwhile, Iran has refused to hold further negotiations with the Chuckle Brothers, Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner, on the grounds that the last time they sat around the table with them, everyone went home on the Friday and Iran woke up on the Saturday to discover that their leaders were dead, along with thousands of others, and they had been bombed to shit. Maybe, just maybe, it is not the best idea to leave diplomacy to a couple of real-estate shysters rather than,  for example, trained diplomats, or, and this is novel, the Secretary of State? There may be new negotiations in Pakistan, at which the US will be represented by JD Vance, perhaps chosen for his previously expressed opposition to war with Iran;  but frankly, why would anyone want to negotiate with the vice president, a man like an angry bulldog, but without the charm, and a penchant for hectoring anyone and everyone who is not mega MAGA? So, as WTF writes this on the plane going east on Thursday; there may or may not have been peace talks; there may or may not be peace talks; Iran may or may not want a deal;  the war-or-is-it-a-war may or may not have been won; and the Strait of Hormuz may or may not be closed to everyone except the USA and Israel. Two things are clear. First, Europe is not coming to help the US open up the Strait. And second, the price of a gallon of diesel has reached $7. So hello there to all of you who voted for no war and cheaper petrol. How is that working out for you?

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We star our review of the week’s terrible togs in New York with actor Maddie Ziegler launching her new series Pretty Lethal wearing this thing.

Whee is the rest if the outfit? The top is like something out of Moulin Rouge with very visible nipple activity – kudos to WTF aficionado Zee from Devon for spotting this – and there is no bottom, not even of any kind, only the lacy gusset of her pantyhose. Yurgle.

Next we have actor and stripper Lindsey wearing Radulsecu.

Those shoes are among the most terrible shoes that WTF ever did see in her life. As for the ensemble, if a plate of squid ink spaghetti went to a fancy dress party as a lacy Hell’s Angel, this is what it would look like.

We are at Fashion Week in Rome. Here is singer Rita Ora wearing Prada.

That coat is hideous, putting one in mind of the time when an anti-fur protestor threw red paint over Kim Cattrell when she stepped out in the white pelt of a dead animal.

And another Prada stinker, this time on actor Sandra Hűller.

The gown is lovely. The apron is not.

And here is singer Lily Allen, wearing Valentino. Valentino!

Biggles goes sheer.

More Valentino from his atelier’s Rome show, this time on actor Emma Chamberlain.

WTF aficionado Sonia from Stratford on Avon was aghast at what she saw and wrote to WTF immediately to voice her displeasure at what she rightly termed, this Marigold madness.

And finally, we find ourselves in London with actor Alexander Skarsgard at the launch of his new film Pillion, wearing Dior. Brace yourselves…..

Waitsorrywhat?????? Is he moonlighting as an ice skater?

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of Islington, who is bewildered by the craven and pathetic behaviour of the US Secretary of State, Marco Rubio. It seems that his boss decided that Marco’s footwear was not up to scratch and therefore ordered him a pair of Oxford Brogues.  It is unclear whether the Rancid Kumquat deliberately asked for a size larger than little Marco’s little feet, or whether he simply guessed wrong, or whether Marco himself overstated his shoe size out of embarrassment. Do not forget that in the primaries in 2016, Marco mocked his opponent’s tiny hands, suggesting this was an indication of his dick size. Perhaps this was payback. Be that howsoever it may be, the shoes are clearly too large.

The cringing bit here is that rather than buying himself a pair in the right size, as any self-respecting sycophant would do, the Secretary of State prefers to flop around like a child wearing daddy’s slippers; clearly he has lost all sense of shame. When people apply to be fellows of All Souls College in Oxford, they are given a dinner with a dessert of cherry pie with pips. The test is how to dispose of them. This is more of an All Soles test, and Marco has failed it. Bigly. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in comments and your suggestions for It’s Got to Go. WTF is off abroad on holiday and will be back on 17 April 2026. Happy Easter, Happy Passover. Be good x.