wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

We all knew it would come to this. A love so passionate, so intense, could only burn itself out and descend into bitterness and vituperation. From barely knowing each other, they came together last autumn, locked eyes and realised that they felt the same about the things that really mattered – screwing the poor and making shedloads of money for themselves and their rich mates. They had so much in common – they were both megalomaniacs, narcissists and compulsive liars, uncaring about what they said (except to each other), unburdened by conscience, normality or morality. It was a match made in Heaven. The older one offered the path to ultimate power. The younger one had unlimited wealth which he lavished upon his new found soulmate. Once in power, the older one handed the younger one the keys to the kingdom, and he ran about like a kiddie in a sweetshop, sacking people left and right, (even though he did not employ them), pocketing their data (even though it was not his to pocket) and dismantling those agencies which impacted adversely upon his own personal businesses. The older one indulged the younger one’s eccentricities, such as dressing like a teenager, dragging one of his 14 children around with him like a fashion-accessory-cum-bulletproof-vest and looking (and acting) stoned-as-fuck. The younger one continued to pour gold into the older one’s lap and tried to influence elections by throwing millions at them. They praised each other publicly in terms that would make a normal person blush, except neither of these two men is remotely normal. They professed their love for the other. Last week, the younger man was going back to his normal job, but was given a golden goodbye with the older man gushing over the younger’s achievements, his brilliance and his patriotism before his adoring courtiers.

And then – it was all over. And not just ‘over’ as in dwindling into nothingness. ‘Over’ as in World War Three. Instead of billing and cooing, they were now hissing and spitting and calling each other names. The younger one criticised The Big Beautiful Bill which the older was insisting upon passing into law – having slashed and burned Government allegedly to save money (to pay for tax cuts for rich men like, er, him), he look umbrage at the fact that this Bill would in fact increase the National Debt by anything between two and six trillion dollars. He started tweeting out his disapprobation (he owns the tweeting company), criticising the older one for being reckless and useless. The older one retaliated, suggesting that his former beloved had clearly lost it. The younger one tweeted out that the older one would bankrupt the company, and that he should be impeached and replaced by his deputy. The older one threatened to cancel all the younger one’s contracts with the Government (worth eight billion dollars). The younger one said that he would immediately cancel the rockets which service the national space station. The older one warned him off. The younger one then threw in a curveball and suggested that the older one was one of those named in the notorious Epstein files identifying pederasts various who have never been brought to book. All this before 7 pm. Who knows what the evening will bring? Not WTF, because she is off to bed and, being a Brit in London, is five hours ahead of this madness. 

Perhaps both should have recalled the wise words of Friar Laurence in Romeo and Juliet,  when he advised the infatuated young hero,

These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume: the sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite:
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

Indeed.

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We start our review of the week’s feeble fashion with actor Kristen Bell wearing Rosetta Getty at an event for ‘Nobody Wants This’, in which she stars with Adam Brody.

Nobody – or at least nobody sane – would want this because it is horrible. Why are strings of liquorice hanging from her hem? Is it in case she gets hungry and fancies a snack?

 

Now we are in New York City where we encounter actor Taraji P Henson wearing who the hell knows what this is?

It is too short, too puffy and it looks like a collapsed tent.

 

Meet actor Caleb McLaughlin, one of the stars of Stranger Things, at a Netflix event, wearing Thom Browne.

So this is fashionable toddler meets Rob Roy. Yurgle.

 

Now we are at the Gotham TV Awards in New York. Here is The White Lotus’s Leslie Bibb, wearing Stella McCartney.

Regular Readers will know that WTF is not a fan of Stella McCartney, not even at all, and this is why. The lovely Leslie is wearing slithery green with puckering seams and giant shoulders like a 1990’s landlocked frog, matched, inexplicably, with the ugliest red shoes ever in the history of ever, like flippers. Leslie is not smiling. It is not difficult to work out why.

 

Now, actor Rachel Brosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel) wearing Dior.

Rachel is dressed as a rattan lampshade, and for some reason, her boobs appear to be around the waist – a sort of boob downlift.  Unless Dior is moving into the area of lighting design, this has as much to do with haute couture as WTF has to do with sheet metal work.

 

Now actor Reece Feldman, wearing Kidsuper 25.

Sadly it must be observed that Reece has a face you would never grow tired of slapping, but that is merely scraping the surface of WTF’s objections. The suit is inspired by a Victorian doll’s quilt and the letters in the Scrabble tie should be rearranged to spell ‘fuck right off, you silly man’.

Here is actor Erin Doherty, wearing Thom Browne.

If a waitress with no hands went to a fancy dress party in a straitjacket, this is what she would look like. 

 

Finally, here is actor Morgan Spector (The Golden Age) out and about in New York wearing a seriously surprising suit.

A very hairy man in the sort of ensemble worn by the cast of the deeply un-PC comedy series It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum, set in Burma in the last months of WW2.  Those boots are a whole It’s Got To Go on their own.

 

Talking of  It’s Got To Go, this week’s offering comes from WTF aficionado, nay, stalwart, Yvonne from Jedburgh, who was rightly appalled to come across this picture of  former 1990’s Tory Cabinet Minister David Mellor popping up on TV with a new hairstyle. Careful now……

 Mellor was never a looker, and he is no longer young (76) but that hairstyle passeth all understanding. As Yvonne sagely observes, he looks like another former Cabinet Minister, Ann Widdecombe. WTF is sure that Mellor is proud to maintain a good head of hair but this is a bad head of hair. It is a god-awful head of hair. It’s Got to Go.

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. Not just that, but she pines if she does not get them. Don’t make her pine! You can follow me on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x