wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Welcome to another edition of  ‘It was ours, now it’s theirs’ in which Tom and Tilly Tosser the taxpayers get to fork out for something they gave away on the understanding that it would be (i) better run (ii) have the benefit of big time investment and (iii) be cheaper than it was before. Except that in the case of the water companies (i) it isn’t (ii) it doesn’t and (iii) you must be joking. Since Mrs Thatcher had the glorious idea of flogging off something that we owned and did not have to manufacture because God had already made it available free, gratis and for nothing, water charges have gone up 360%. And now Thames Water’s shareholders, hedge funds and pension funds based in Canada, China and elsewhere, have refused to bail out the ailing company, which is now £18bn in debt, even to the tune of £500m, and have suggested that water rates should go up 40% instead and that they should still be paying dividends. This is because over the years, billions have been spent on dividends rather than on improving the failing infrastructure, not to mention ridiculous rates of interest on loans so that they could pay the aforesaid dividends and colossal salaries to inept managers. And that is not all. Thames, SouthWest Water and other companies have been fined millions for dumping sewage into our waterways, making previously safe swimming spots dangerous because of pollution. In glorious Cornwall, St Agnes beach has been ruled out of bounds because of the water is full of floating turds. Our water is filthy, the pipes are leaking and the taxpayer is being fleeced. There is only one answer. Nationalise the water companies now and tell the shareholders to go whistle for their dividends and interest repayments. Thames has been owned by a German company, an Australian company whose CEO took home £15m last year, and now this rag-tag bunch of foreign investors. None of them could not give a toss about the people actually paying for the water or going swimming in our seas, lakes and rivers but who expect those customers to fork out for repairs that the companies failed to make because they were too busy pocketing the profits. The stench of this is even worse than the stench of the floating turds. Put an end to this for Heaven’s sake and send these profiteering leeches out to sea.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion fiascos with Love Island All-Stars winner Molly Smith (left) and an unnamed pal out and about in Manchester.

Here we have a couple of Minge Moment, nylon-clad doxies. At least Molly is wearing a crotch cummerbund whereas her pal seems to have nothing to shield her modesty except the gusset of her tights and a couple of tit pads. Molly has become the new face of Boohoo, which turns out dross like this. Kill me now.

Next, we go to New York and greet singer Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, preparing to go on a chat show.

Mel’s fashion choices have not changed over the years, namely short, tight and trashy with regular recourse to leopardskin. WTF would love to tell you what those things are on her legs, but is unable to do so and can only surmise that they are a couple of latticework tomato pies ready for the oven. Even the LV bag looks cheap. Meanwhile, message to Mel. Medusa called and she wants her hair back.

This is racing driver Lewis Hamilton in Bahrain, wearing Paradis 3.

Lewis is dressed as a daisy meadow. Who knows why? If that is Paradis, WTF does not want to see Hell.

We are now in Rome where we encounter Italian former porn star Valentina Nappi,wearing…er…

If a spaceman went to a fancy dress party dressed as Valentina Nappi, this is what he or she would look like.

Valentina was attending the launch of an Italian TV show called Chi Ride É Fuori, which translates as Whoever Laughs is Out. The premise of the show is that various comedians tell  each other jokes and if anyone laughs, they are ejected. WTF has come to the conclusion that Valentina was invited onto the show dressed as she is because if anyone can resist laughing at that, they must be made of stone – like Michelangelo’s David.

We are in Bombay to meet actor Urfi Javed wearing a most remarkable dress.

Is it a dress? Who knows what the hell it is? And it lights up…..

She looks as if she is standing in a giant fish bowl……. How does she go to the loo in it? Or does she go to the loo in it?

We  are now back in LA at the premiere of Godzilla x Kong; The New Empire. Here is one of its stars, actor Rebecca Hall, wearing Bode.

This is perfectly preposterous. Rebecca is a beautiful and intelligent woman who has no cause to go about in silly embroidered trousers, a pair of shoes last seen on WTF’s maths teacher when she was back in the fifth form and a top which appears to be no more than two ping-pong bats with beading hanging off them.

Now we are in Milan, where we come across bitsflasher Julia Fox wearing Mugler.

She has not got any clothes on, even by her own low standards, and is covered in tinsel like a cut-price Ariel from The Tempest.

Our last entry combines both ‘fashion’ and It’s Got To Go, featuring Trump harpy Kimberley Guilfoyle . WTF’s attention was drawn to Kimberley’s latest aberrations by WTF aficionado Kalena Khalifa aka @KThomas, from America’s Pacific Northwest. Since she contacted WTF, something equally horrible came up, with which we start. Here is Kimberley, who is the long-term fiancée of Donald Trump Jr (They have been engaged for over two years. He is 46, she is 55. What are they waiting for? They hardly need to save up for the canapés). This was a fundraiser for a MAGAMoron congressional nominee at Trump’s gaudy pleasure dome Mar A Lago in Palm Beach, Florida. Kimberley was chairing the event – dressed like this.

The gargoyle face is bad enough, God knows. And then there is the terrible Ozempic body. But that dress!! Tits galore, imminent Minge Moment and follow-me-home-and-fuck-me gold sandals. The only funds she seems dressed to raise money for are her own whilst plying her trade down on the Floridian quayside.

Meanwhile, here is Kimberley last month at a dinner at Mar A Lago extolling Trump. She looks happier here, but she still resembles a gargoyle and is flashing her tits.

Kalena writes ‘Here is Don Jr’s trashy girlfriend with her tits showing. Even Tiffany (Trump’s daughter by second wife, Marla Maples in the black dress) thinks she looks gross. And they’re ripping off James Bond for their tacky grift. They ALL need to go’.  Agreed.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in your lovely comments and nominations for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x