You know that WTF is poorly when (i) she does not have enough energy to rant and (ii) she is off her food. There are people who keep telling you that they forget to eat. WTF has never forgotten to eat but at the moment she is not hungry. Not Covid, luckily, but a good old-fashioned lurgy leaving her feeling absolutely horrible. So no rant today. Instead you can concentrate on the serious business, ie voting for the Christmas Turkey 2021. You have 16 horrible choices, and you can vote as often as you like and for as many people as you like and, should you wish to do so, you can leave coruscating comments to go with the selections.
WTF will be back next Friday 24 December with a special rant-only edition to make up for this week’s absence of one (some of you like the rant more than the fashion). The full rant + fashion version and the Poll results will be back on 7 January 2022. Happy Holidays. Happy New Year.
RIGHT – HERE THEY ARE……
1. Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, UK celebritee.
Aisleyne was showcasing her new arse, which was subject to a Brazilian Butt Lift. If this is an improvement on her old arse, WTF is glad she missed the old arse. However, she has no interest in seeing either the old one or the new one or any future one. Just. Go. Away.
2. Ashanti, American rapper.
Ashanti is dressed like a sadomasochists’s wet dream and WTF is fearful for her health due to the constriction to her circulation.
3. Cardi B, American rapper.
The good news is that Cardi is fully dressed. The bad news is that she is dressed up as Little Weed from Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men, a kiddies’ programme from the days of black and white television. That bonnet is ludicrous.
4. Dan Levy, Canadian actor and writer.
WTF could have lived with the shirt and trousers – the artwork was a tribute to the late American artist David Wojnarowicz, one of the most influential LGBTQIA+ activists, who painted the original piece. She could have survived the Cartier diamonds embossing them. But she is having very serious difficulties with the parachute around his shoulders and a load more trouble with the studded boots, like something worn by a Hell’s-Angel-turned-troubador.
5. Draya Michele, American celebritee.
There is a lot of minge activity going on, what with the chains and the fanny-tickler trailing shirt-thingy. She may be wearing panties, but there seems to be something missing, to whit a skirt or trousers.
6. Kid Cudi, American rapper.
Are those pantaloons? With lace trainers? If Kid Cudi went to the Costume Designer Fashion Awards as Ms Haversham, this is what he would look like. Oh, hang on….
7. Leigh-Anne Pinnock, British singer.
Leigh-Anne is showcasing her post-baby body, having given birth to twins in August but there is not enough dress, leaving her at the mercy of any random gust of wind and forcing her to clutch her buttocks like a little child trying to hold in an escaping whoopsie.
8. Lewis Hamilton, British motor racing champion.
We know that Lewis is a dedicated follower of fashion, but there is dedication and there is delusion. Going out and about in public with a net curtain around your left leg is delusion – which is officially a pity because the rest of the outfit is scrummy.
9. Lizzo, singer.
As WTF remarked at the time, just because you can does not mean that you should. And she shouldn’t. Those are not so much nipple pasties as nipple platters.
10. Madonna, American singer.
Look love, you’re 63 years old. Time to find a new look. One that does not make you resemble a Madame of a Frankfurt flophouse.
11. Rafferty Law, English actor
WTF has no idea what is going on here. None at all. But the white socks passeth all understanding.
12. Riccardo Simonetti, German entertainer.
WTF suggested at the time that Riccardo had based his look upon Roy Wood from Wizard, only Roy did not wear what WW2 soldiers used to call a c**t hat or a leather bustier.
13. Sarah Longbottom, British glamour model.
There is nothing good to say about any of this. None of it. Not the green oilskin with the Robin Hood laces, not the visible nipple activity and certainly not the apple cheeks, which suggest that there has been an interference with the workings of nature.
14. Stephanie Gurzanki, American influencer.
Calamity Jane goes mingey. Hideous,
15. Tommy Dorfman (she/her), American actor.
Look. If Tommy wants to wear a dress, fine. But wear a nice one and not something that Hyacinth Bucket would turn up her nose at.
16. Troye Sivan, Australian actor.
Troye has Marfan syndrome which means that he has long slim limbs. But men should not wear crop tops, not even at all, and the long black socks and brogues make him look like a customs officer
ALRIGHT READERS – IT’S TIME TO VOTE!!!
I am voting on behalf of Daniel, who says Sarah Longbottom’s dress is the worst because “it looks ugly”. In second place was Troye Sivan, although he was unable to come up with a reason why his outfit is bad – “it just is”. In third place Riccardo Simonetti because “he looks like a dumb king” (and this from a child who loves rainbows). In fourth, Lizzo because “you can just see all of her body”. So there you are.
You are bringing up a boy with taste and discernment. xx
As much as I enjoy the Christmas Turkey Poll, I do not recommend this if you’ve just eaten ………
Oh my gosh. They are all so awful. I’m going to have to let that settle a bit before gingerly re-extending the Sorting Hat to find the dregs.
(At least on my system, the numbers + names in the post don’t agree with the ones in the poll. For instance 12. Riccardo Simonetti is 14. Riccardo Simonetti in the poll. I’m using name rather than number, but we’d all have to do the same thing for the results to work. Anyway, some dreadful (fashion) criminal may escape their fate in the confusion!)