HERE IS ONE OF THOSE WARNINGS. DURING THE OPENING RANT! THERE IS A PICTURE OF WOMAN NAKED SAVE FOR STRATEGICALLY PLACED BLACKOUT STRIPS. AND NOT JUST ANY WOMAN. KIM KARDASHIAN!!! SO YOU ARE WARNED. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO SEE HER BRAZILIAN-BUTT-FILLED BUTT, BUTT-NAKED, THEN SKIP DOWN A FEW PARAGRAPHS TO THE PICTURE OF RUPERT AND JERRY HALL. NOT THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER….
Last Tuesday was International Women’s Day. This Day is supposed to mark the progress that women have made and the progress that is still to be made, the commitment to root out discrimination and gender bias, the advance of women towards leadership and equality. How did Kim Kardashian mark the occasion? She marked it like this….
Now let us overlook the fact that this picture is about a year old and photoshopped to within an inch of its life. Let us overlook the fact that her breasts are fake and her face is fake and her Brazilian butt-filled-butt is fake. Instead, let us think, just for a moment, about what Kim and all those other stupid women, so-called celebrities, who stand there in front of the mirror, smartphone in hand, capturing their bodies to feature on social media, are actually saying about women. Some people may argue that this freedom to flaunt is all about empowerment. WTF does not agree. It is a retrograde step, suggesting that they have nothing else to offer. In some cases, they do have nothing else to offer but that is because they have not bothered to develop something to offer- or even worse, that they have something to offer but instead have hidden it behind the pout and the pubes.
They are saying that women are principally there to look good for, and to be available to, men. They are saying that having a flat stomach and a fat-filled arse is the acme of achievement. They are saying that dieting and exercise are not just a goal but all that matters. They are saying that education is irrelevant. They are saying that it is alright to be vacuous. They are saying that character means nothing. They are saying that dignity has no value. 53 years ago, Martin Luther King had a dream that his four little children would one day live in a nation where they would not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. Equally, WTF has a dream that young women will one day live in a world where they will be judged not by their bodies but by the content of their character. Dream on….
We turn to review of the week’s sartorial shockers. Some of you may think that taking the piss out of clothing is also putting appearance over character. Again, WTF disagrees. Too many people here look absurd because they have been conned by designers or stylists or because they have become fashion victims or because they just want to flash their wealth and person. And when they do, WTF is there to prick the bubble.
Let us start with the church blessing for the union of former model Jerry Hall, 59, and billionaire Rupert Murdoch, 84, otherwise known as Jerry and the Pacemaker. Here are the happy couple. The bride is wearing Vivienne Westwood and Roger Vivier shoes.
Oh Jerry! Everything was going so well from head to knee. The colour of the dress is very pretty and the sleeves delicate and flattering. But get to the patellas and it all goes tits up, ruched like a billowing sail. And whilst one can appreciate her wish not to tower over her new spouse, those hideous shoes (£545) were last seen on a Restoration fop. As for the groom, the jury is out on the issue of a man in a blue suit and brown shoes. Your thoughts please….
Also in attendance was photographer David Bailey.
WTF has no wish to be unkind to our senior citizens. She is no spring chicken herself. And, as you know, criticism is alien to her nature. But she has seen better dressed dossers. David appears to have made the short stroll from his cardboard box under Blackfriars Bridge straight to St Brides….
Here is pregnant model Chrissy Teigen, married to singer John Legend, flashing her bits as she goes out and about in New York.
Chrissy is lovely. The dress is lovely. The boots are lovely. Even the Eva Braun hairstyle is lovely. But she is giving us an Imminent Minge Moment….
This is Queen Latifah at the LA premiere of her new movie, Miracles from Heaven, wearing Escada.
It is a turquoise onesie with a mullet skirt. And it is very tight over the unmentionables. This falls within the category of Call for the Canesten……
To Paris Fashion Week (Ready To Wear) and the ineffable Anna dello Russo wearing Versace.
It’s a bit early for Halloween, isn’t it? WTF has taken particular exception to that giant tongue thing over Anna’s lady parts. Yurgle.
Next up we have Venezuelan model Enrique Palacios, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
Paris, je t’aime. Mais je n’aime pas this maroon and peach über-shiny bandleader’s DJ coupled, inexplicably, with artfully distressed jeans. There was a lot of that about this week, as we shall see later.
Of course, there has to be a model wearing sheer. In this case, Lily Donaldson wearing Balmain.
See-through lace trousers over a swimsuit. With ruffles. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!
Then we have singer and actress Selena Gomez emerging from her hotel, wearing not nearly enough.
Pigalle is that way, love.
And her toes must be SO cold. Not to mention her chest. No, actually WTF has to mention the chest. There is too much of it on show. And too little skirt.
Finally, here is the perfectly ridiculous Kanye West, Kim Kardashian’s rapper husband, wearing customised St Laurent jeans. Customised by him, that is.
Here’s the thing, Readers. Those jeans must be a veritable wind tunnel. If you are going to wear jeans, why then rip them to shit so that there is no point in wearing them at all? And if you are going to rip your jeans to shit so that there is no point in wearing them at all, why spend £550 on a pair of St Laurent distressed jeans? I mean, why not buy a pair of cheap ones from the ASDA bargain basket? It is like buying a Hermès handbag and then painting a silly picture on it….oh hang on. That was Kim’s Christmas present from him two years ago. No wonder he says he is $53m in debt.
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Johann who takes great exception to every story about paedophilia being illustrated by pictures of Jimmy Savile. Johann points out that everyone knows what the revolting old pervert looked like. We do not need to be reminded what he looked like. His hundreds of victims certainly remember what he looked like. Everybody remembers what he looked like. They would rather forget. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments rolling in, which WTF loves more than anything, and do not neglect your most excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x