WTF SAG Awards Special

Hallo Readers,

Wednesday was Holocaust Memorial Day, the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz where millions died, there and in other death camps. Some died because they were Jews. Some died because they were gypsies.  Some died because they were gay. Some died because they were disabled. Some died because they were communists or because they rejected the Nazi ideology. But millions died. Some were gassed. Some were shot. Some died of disease or starvation. All of them were targeted because of what they were and their failure to fit the Aryan prototype of desirability. Those who survived to tell their stories tell stories to break your heart but soon their voices will be silenced and then how do we persuade the next generations, bedazzled by computer generated  imagery and photoshopping, that it ever happened at all?

Even now in the face of the photographs and the film footage and the testimonies, some stoutly deny that it ever happened. How, how can they deny that it ever happened? How can they deny the accounts of eye witnesses, the evidence of the bodies piled up, the stench of death that remains indelibly in the nostrils of those who were there? Even a visceral hatred of Israel and Zionism cannot negate what happened. What about those who were not Jews and were in the camps? What happened to them? WTF, the daughter of a Jewish refugee who had friends with camp numbers tattooed on their forearms, was appalled by “Holohoax” exponents and  Holocaust deniers, seemingly of all faiths, ages and nationalities, who took to Twitter (and in one case, to Radio 5 where he gained access by deception and then denounced the Holocaust as a lie) to spread their poison, citing such proponents of the truth as David Irving (discredited and imprisoned), Ernst Zündel (discredited and imprisoned) and “executions expert” Fred A Leuchter (discredited charlatan who was neither a scientist nor an engineer and yet claimed to have proof that gas was never used at Auschwitz). Distorting or denying the past can never advance a political argument and dishonours both.

Rant over.

At which point, we switch to the sartorial slurry of the week and the Screen Actors’ Guild (SAG) Awards in Hollywood, the only awards by actors to actors. We start with Stephanie Beatriz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine wearing Johanna Johnson.

stephanie beatriz

This dress was custom made for Stephanie and so WTF can only speculate that either there was a catastrophic power failure when the lights went out for a week or someone in the sewing room held a grudge. Stephanie was seconds away from a major tit trauma and they look like spaniels’ ears. She knows it too…

Orange Is The New Black won big on the night and rightly so. WTF is a huge fan. Sadly, however, she was not a fan of some of the outfits worn by the stars, like Laverne Cox, also wearing Johanna Johnson. 

laverne

This Johanna Johnson has a lot to answer for. Laverne is dressed in a silk nightie with silver accoutrements like an glittering ox-yoke and, just in case it was insufficiently gaudy, Johanna added a pair of genitalia curtains AND A TRAIN! Lady Macbeth goes disco dancing…

Also letting the side down was Vicky Jeudy wearing Charbel Zoé.

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Quite apart from the cheesy pose (why on earth do women have to stand like that?) there is a lot going on here and none of it good. Branches growing out of her chest. Sequins. Splits. Peekaboo panels. Just say no…

Then there was Matthew McConaughey wearing Brioni pictured with his wife Camila Alvez wearing Donna Karan Atelier.

mathew

Camila looks spectacular. As for Matthew, had George V gone to a fancy dress party as a bandleader, this is what he would have looked like. What the hell is that beard? And why are his trousers concertinaed around his ankles?

Also there was Jennifer Aniston wearing vintage Galliano. jen

Jen decided to abandon her safe, sassy Red Carpet look, i.e. black, a hint of cleavage and lots of leg (she does have great legs) and let it be known that she now wants to exude super-sexy and edge. This dress, however, does neither. The colour is horrible, her tits look more saggy than SAG and what is that gold dog-chain for? 

And Adrien Brody wearing Vivienne Westwood Man.

adrien

What is it with men and shiny suits? First Matthew and now Adrien. At least Matthew was only shiny from the waist up whereas Adrien looks like a cross between a 50’s Mafioso (think Al Pacino in The Godfather 2) and the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. And that expression makes him look constipated.

And Joan Collins wearing something left over from her Dynasty days. joan

Yes, she’s great for her age (81)  but just because she can do it doesn’t mean she has to. She looks like a drag queen dressed as Joan Collins. 

And nominee for Best Actress, our own Rosamund Pike wearing Dior. rosamund

First we had the Vera Wang Mammary Moment at the Golden Globes and now this embellished tent with pom-poms, like a moulting poodle. Rosamund – there is still time before the Oscars! Your stylist needs a slap, a P45 and another slap. And buy a hairbrush.

Finally, away from the SAG Awards, we have the former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo, now stepping out with singer Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Olivia is wearing MT Costello.

olivia

Joe is the youngest looking 25 year old in the Universe, especially next to Olivia, who is only 22 but looks much older. WTF deplores trainers worn with a DJ, a trend espoused by Louis Hamilton and Robert Downey Jnr. and will rage against it whenever she sees it. As for Olivia, MT Costello is the collaboration between the ghastly Michael Costello and his sister. Regular Readers will know that WTF has a deep loathing for Michael, who is the Minge Moment Maestro and whose creations are an affront to female dignity. Like this Porno-Bride effort.

WARNING!!!!! AND ANOTHER WARNING!!!!!

STOP READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE SIGHT OF A PENIS….COME BACK NEXT WEEK INSTEAD!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! THRICE!!!!

This week’s It’s Got To Go, independently brought to WTF’s attention by aficionados David Meredith, Jan  Lewis and Trisha Shannon, is absolutely foul. Idiot designer Rick Owens, he of the rather excellent leather jackets, decided to send male models down the runway with their dicks hanging out. Or as Trisha excellently put it, Penis Peepholes.

dick

Why? Because, according to Rick, “I thought it was the most simple, primal gesture—and you know I love a simply tiny, little gesture that packs the wallop.” Codswallop more like..…. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF is still experiencing a degree of disappointment at the sparsity of the comments coming in but you’re reading in your droves which is cheering and there have been some top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

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This entry was posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Holocaust Memorial Day, Politics, SAG AWards, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to WTF SAG Awards Special

  1. Anna says:

    OMG. Penisgate is so wrong.

  2. Ben says:

    So confused by penisgate – both the concept but more so the fact his nads are 10 times larger than his pecker

  3. Barbara says:

    It looks like something very, very bad happened in the beginners sewing class.

  4. Johanna Johnson obviously can’t design for boobs. As for penisgate, I’m speechless. Comes to something when you have to say Joan Collins looks the best!!!

  5. Belle says:

    I feel sorry for the poor lad with his parts out. Not only does he have to wear that ripped bin bag and get a breeze round his wotsits, but the designer then talks about ‘tiny’ and ‘little’. Cruel.

    The pattern on Jennifer Aniston’s frock makes it look as though she has wet herself.

  6. The fellow wearing the Free Willie outfit surprised me. The original intent of male clothing was not to cover the family jewels but to protect them. Outside of a flasher’s convention, where could that outfit be worn?

    • fashionshark says:

      It is indeed puzzling. Who knew that your dick would become fashion accessory?

      • Every once in a while I wonder when my occasionally over-exuberant and often under-censored sense of humor is going to get me in trouble again. And then you inform me, sight unseen, that my dick has become a fashion accessory. Even my toes are blushing.

        By the way, that was an excellent commentary on the Holocaust. I have met survivors of the camps and I have met American soldiers who helped liberate them. One common theme they shared is the fear that their accounts will be forgotten and we will allow it to happen again.

      • Indeed, Andrew, my Uncle (a British soldier) was involved in the liberation and clean up of a concentration camp and he never really got over it.

  7. Tally says:

    Penisgate – What Can I say, except it must have been very, very cold that day. I hope they paid the model well, he will need the money when his parts drop off.
    Stephanie Beatriz’s dress will probably be OK when it’s finished. Sadly for the rest of them, there is little hope, except to stay at home next time. I agree it’s coming to something when Joan Collins looks better than anyone else.

  8. Sarah Denby says:

    Loved your comment about Joan Collins–so true. And Jennifer Aniston definitely needs a bra–usually she’s impeccable. And I was so saddened by Olivia Culpo, originally Miss Rhode Island, who has shown a great deal of taste and style in the past and now has succumbed to the “T & M” movement: Tits and Minge.

  9. Sarah Denby says:

    And I almost forgot–who wants to gaze upon a skinny man’s hairy scrotum and other dangly bits? I’d much rather see nice pecs and a six-pack….

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