WTF Selfie Special

Hallo Readers,

The Nelson Mandela coverage goes on and on. Mandela was a great man who changed South Africa, embodying courage, decency and forgiveness and whilst there are few people in WTF’s lifetime who can be accorded the title World  Statesman, he is undoubtedly one of them. However, the fact is that the endless stuff on all channels has been very tiresome, not least because the coverage was less about Mandela’s political legacy (which would have been interesting and informative)  and more about interviews at inordinate length with people who once met him for 45 seconds in 1993, thought he was an awfully nice man and were devastated at his passing.  This is the inevitable downside of 24-hour rolling news. The story must go on even when, to quote Lady Bracknell, “everyone has practically said whatever they had to say which, in most cases, was probably not much”.  On Saturday’s Radio 4 Today Programme presenter Justin Webb asked Jimmy Carter, a devout Southern Baptist, whether he would compare Mandela to Jesus. There was a pause as the former President debated whether he should call for the men in white coats before he replied, with a degree of dignity commendable in the circumstances, that as a Christian he saw Jesus as the Son of God and therefore no, he would not compare Mandela or anyone else to Him. This was the low point to date but there is still time for it to deteriorate further.

On Tuesday the World’s Leaders and former Leaders gathered in Johannesburg for the Mandela Memorial Service and there were hours and hours of speeches with the supposed assistance of a sign language interpreter, Thamsanqa Jantjie. Within seconds, deaf viewers everywhere took to Twitter to complain that he was no more able to do sign language than they were to paint the Sistine Chapel in a blindfold and South African Deaf Associations have gone on record to complain that they have seen him in action before and that he was useless then as well. One can imagine the frustration for deaf viewers who viewed this fiasco as an insult. Mr Jantjie says that he is a schizophrenic and that he suffered an attack during the ceremony when he saw angels coming down from the sky into the crowd” and from that moment “he was not himself”. The South African Government have since admitted that Mr Jantjie is not a fully qualified professional signer, that he was supplied through an agency which has since disappeared from sight and that his appointment may have been “a mistake”. Which is something of an understatement….

Meanwhile, WTF was appalled to see our Prime Minister, the Prime Minister of Denmark (not the one from Borgen, the real one Helle Thorning-Schmidt) and President Obama talking a selfie whilst Michelle Obama looked on stony-faced.

WTF suspects that had Helle looked like Angela Merkel, Call Me Dave and Obama would have been less likely to whip out the iPhone but the real issue is that this was a serious occasion, the World was looking on and these three are paid taxpayers’ money to represent their countries, show some propriety and look respectful, not to grin inanely into the camera like teenagers at a One Direction concert. WTF is only surprised that they were not mooning…

Continuing the Scandinavian theme, here is Swedish actress Noomi Rapace (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) wearing something hideous by Givenchy.

This is a paisley bedspread. WTF hates paisley and shiny bedspread paisley ticks every box marked “hate”  even before we get to the sheer, peekaboo tunic with paisley sleeves which ticks boxes WTF did not even know existed….

To something called The Sun Military Awards proving that some celebrities will go anywhere for a free drink and a quail’s egg. Here is TV personality Carol Vorderman wearing a creation by Liverpudlian designer Mark Melia.

Sorry but this is Mutton dressed as Minerva. Carol is far too bosomy to wear a strapless dress, resulting in visible spilth like a leaking ice cream cone and her clutch bag looks like an offensive weapon.

We next light upon actress and producer Jada Pinkett-Smith (wife of Will) out shopping.

Someone spent a long time artfully distressing those jeans…..  Jada is a beautiful woman but the whole thing is way too Mad Max in a bra and that studded jacket is simply the  pits.

Diane Kruger does not employ a stylist which is why she usually looks lovely. But this Valentino  frock is a blot on her copybook.

Those black panties under the sheer skirt are just wrong, wrong, wrong. In fact, worse than none at all….

We pause for our new feature It’s Got to Go in which Readers nominate something which has been getting on their nerves and cannot wait to see the end of…. This week, it is Lady Gaga.

Followers of @WTF_EEK will be aware of a campaign #GagGaga in which Readers various have expressed their utter boredom with  this ridiculous woman and her carefully contrived eccentricities. She has put out a couple of good tunes but a persona built upon walking about in silly clothes with her bits on show and bad hair does not make it art. Gaga – go away.

We have  not seen much of designer Marc Jacobs of late but he is still at large. Here he is in a coat of his own creation.

It’s gingham. Like a picnic cloth. You could eat your egg sandwiches and quiche off him. And he is wearing white trainers and carrying a wash-bag. Do I need to say more?

More nastiness at TrevorLIVE! starting with oh-so-zany Paula Abdul.

Hey, it’s Christmas, which is doubtless why Paula is dressed as a lollipop dressed as a cracker. And the shoes, which seem to have been borrowed from Courtney Stodden look like the devil’s hooves.

Paula was a judge on American Idol for 8 years and our next guest, Adam Lambert, was runner up in 2009. How is that for a link?

Why is he perched at an angle like the Leaning Tower of Pisa? It is most strange…

The fabric of this suit is like the fancy Osborne & Little wallpaper used on “feature walls” and WTF hates a feature wall like anything.

This is former Girls Aloud member Sarah Harding at the Cosmopolitan Women of the Year Awards wearing Louis Heal. WARNING!!!!! THIS IS QUITE, QUITE HORRIBLE. DO NOT SAY YOU WERE NOT TOLD…

Goodness knows why she is smiling. This is an Emmanuel Seigner wearing Alexandre Vauthier at Cannes moment where nether regions of unspecified provenance take centre stage although they are not meant to be on view. The back is bad as well….

Oh, for goodness sake. She has more tattoos than a sailor and putting her into that frock is like putting Popeye into a pink petticoat and a blonde wig. “I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam….”

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  This is the last normal blog (insofar as you can use the word normal about this blog) before Christmas because next Friday (December 20th) you will be charged with voting for the WTF Christmas Turkey 2013. And believe me, a more emetic list of candidates would be hard to find….. So make sure you log on and vote early and vote often! Be good x

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5 Responses to WTF Selfie Special

  1. Lord Dodo
    Lord Dodo says:

    Massive respect to Michele Obama. That is all.

  2. Lord Dodo
    Lord Dodo says:

    Actually that is NOT all…irrespective of the unmitigated vileness of her dress, something has gone dreadfully wrong with Carol Vorderman’s cheeks….have the facial fillers bunched up in the wrong place? Hmmmm……

  3. Lady Bracknell is wonderful.
    If we replaced the pages of the “Holy Bible” with the complete works of Oscar Wilde I might start going to church again.
    No wait! I would keep the Book of Job because it reads as if it had been written by Wilde.

  4. Sarah Denby says:

    I want more Lady Bracknell. And I agree that GaGa has Got To Go…

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