WTF Vaz Special

Hallo Readers,

Were it not for the warm weather and the desire to discover whether Helen Titchener gets off stabbing her horrible husband in Radio 4’s The Archers (what do you mean, you don’t listen?), many Brits would presently be stringing themselves up from the light fittings. The pound has gone down the toilet. Her Majesty’s Government has no idea what to do about Brexit. Her Majesty’s Opposition has no idea, period, and whoever wins the Leadership election next month, the Party will join the pound and disappear so far around the bend that a task force of plumbers and rocket scientists will not be able to save either. Which is why the arrival of a sex scandal in the Sunday Mirror last Sunday cheered everyone up no end. What did it not have? There were Polish rent boys. There were drugs (though Vaz does not appear to have taken illegal drugs). And, best of all, there was a pompous prat of a politician with his trousers down around his ankles. Britain has always loved laughing at a man with his trousers round his ankles. After all, this is the Nation that gave the world Brian Rix and Benny Hill….

WTF has quite a lot of sympathy with Keith Vaz MP. On the one hand, if you want to call yourself Jim the washing machine salesman and drum up a couple of rent boys to give you the full service in the privacy of your third home, then why not? In this nasty xenophobic post-Brexit atmosphere, extending your hand, not to mention your nether regions, to migrants in friendship is a fitting gesture from the former Minister for Europe. And at least Vaz was paying for it, under no illusions that a portly middle aged man oozed sex appeal for his much younger partners. Who can forget the idiot Simon Danczuk MP sexting a 17-year-old constituent who turned out to be a dominatrix trading under the name Rosalie von Morelli? Or the Minister for Civil Society, Brooks Newmark MP, who sent a dick-pic of his member to what he thought was Tory Totty Sophiesomeone whom he had never met, and who sadly turned out to be a male Sunday Mirror journalist on a sting. As WTF explained at the time, the matter is best summed up by the fine old Yiddish expression, Ven der schmeckl steht, der sechel geht“, roughly translated as “when your prick goes hard, common sense flies out of the window”.

But the problem is that Vaz was the Chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee (or should that be the Third Home Extramarital Affairs Select Committee?). Over the years, Vaz has interrogated the Great and the Good and the Not-So-Good from the top of the High Moral Ground, loving every moment in the limelight. No soundbite went unsaid, no photo opportunity was passed over. Recently, the Committee has been investigating prostitution with Vaz at the helm. You simply cannot have a man in charge of an investigation into his hobby, not without some prior disclosure, and certainly not the sort of disclosure that the Sunday Mirror has on tape. It is pretty bloody sleazy to inflict your person on a couple of people for a few quid each. You cannot have someone lecturing his constituents on safe sex whilst boasting to Wladimir and Wojciech about his exploits sans condoms. We Brits don’t mind a bit of jiggy-jiggy  but we can’t be doing with hypocrisy. Especially in MPs.

So Vaz has gone back to the Back Benches. Even he could not brazen this one out. Luckily for him, Mrs Vaz is standing by him. But as someone who has been embroiled in more scandals that Jim’s washing machines have had cycles, and survived to tell to tell the tale, you just know that he will come again…..

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Be warned, Readers, a collective madness descended on celebrity fashionistas this week. WTF is battle-hardened but the expanse of thighs and naughty bits on display makes what follows a veritable fanny-fest. Those of a delicate disposition may want to scroll down extra slowly and have the number of a healthcare professional on speed-dial. Or skip straight to It’s Got To Go.

We start with singer Ellie Goulding at the premiere of the new Bridget Jones movie in London, wearing Marchesa.

ellie

Ellie looks like a fluffy duck with sideboob and her lips seem to have been attacked by a swarm of particularly bolshie bees. The back view is even worse.

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 05: Ellie Goulding arrives for the World premiere of "Bridget Jones's Baby" at Odeon Leicester Square on September 5, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images)

Great legs, but has her skirt, not that it is a skirt, got caught in her knickers? Why is it so much shorter at the back than the front? From behind, she seems to be wearing nothing but a wrap-around apron.

To the GQ Men of the Year Awards and Olympic swimmer Tom Daley, wearing Top Man.

tom

Do not adjust your eyeballs.  The pattern on Tom’s pyjama-suit is like the one you get when you have forgotten to attach the TV aerial to the set. And white plimsolls with a flash of ankle add only insult to injury.

Also present at the GQ Awards was singer Florence Welch, wearing Gucci.

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From the neck up, she looks great. From the neck down, she looks like a gift-wrapped, fairground fortune-teller with silly sandals. Here is a WTF rule. Puce looks good on no-one, and especially not on redheads.

And here is a side view of Florence with Gucci’s Head Designer, the ridiculous Alessandro Michele, wearing, er, Gucci.

ales

Flo’s sandals look worse from the side. Alessandro is wearing a suit made from the sort of wallpaper you get in guest cloakrooms, whilst his bow tie is as floppy as a pair of spaniel’s ears. And there is something very pageboy about the white socks and patent pumps combo.

Here is singer Rihanna out and about in Pariswearing St Laurent.

rihanna

£10,000. That’s what this red heart-shaped thing costs. £10,000. Rihanna is a major star so why she needs to perambulate around Paris dressed as a giant aorta is anyone’s guess.

This week’s Sheer Tedium features socialite Hofit Golan at the Venice Film Festival,  wearing Joao Rolo Couture.

hofit

Very improbable tits, lacy hip-bones and a skirt like a minge-flavoured ice cream cone. Just. Go. Away.

And now two quite appalling examples of gratuitously graphic vaginal visualisation, as we hit the Venetian Red Carpet with a pair of nonentities out to get their pictures in, well, this blog for a start. And every newspaper, magazine and website. First, Italian model  Guilia Salemi.

guilia

Yurgle. She looks like a half-peeled orange. Except that oranges do not have tan lines. Or minges. Or those particularly uncomfortable spoon-shaped minge-stoppers worn in lieu of panties.

156591, Giulia Salemi wears a very revealing dress during the premiere for 'The Young Pope' during the 73rd Venice Film Festival at on September 3, 2016 in Venice, Italy. NORTH AMERICA USE ONLY Photograph: © Kika Press, PacificCoastNews. Los Angeles Office (PCN): +1 310.822.0419 UK Office (Photoshot): +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 sales@pacificcoastnews.com FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE

And here’s another one, Giulia’s partner-in-crime Brazilian model Dayane Mello. Double yurgle.

dayane mello

More puce, less fabric, much pudendum. Careful with this next pic…

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A gaggle of gynaecologists gets to see fewer girly-parts in a month’s hard graft. When did flashing become fashion?

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes about because WTF has been plagued by phone calls from wankers offering her assistance with claims arising from a road accident back in March. Only the road accident was a small clip to someone else’s bumper causing no personal injury to either WTF or the other driver. Yesterday, the caller insisted that WTF’s passengers had a claim for personal injury despite the fact that WTF had no passengers, not even of any kind. WTF aficionado Ruth-Anne Beckett is equally outraged. She says “I keep getting calls that I was in an accident which, thank goodness, I was not. Do they know something I don’t?” It is enough to make you drive your car into a wall just to get away from these people. Perhaps that is the game plan?  Whatever it is, It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. You should all be back from your holidays now, so get those comments flooding in as well as your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. WTF is off on her holidays to New England for a couple of weeks, as Olde England is getting on her nerves. Normal service will be resumed on Friday 30 September, but there will be regular tweets on @WTF_EEK between now and then. Be good x

 

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, GQ men of the Year Awards, Keith Vaz, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

WTF VMAs Special

Hallo Readers,

The NHS is sick and Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health, is making it sicker. His smug expression and NHS pin prominently displayed in his lapel certainly make WTF sick. That Hunt has got through a single day of his tenure without someone sticking that pin right where it hurts is a mystery to rival the Bermuda triangle. Now the patient (the NHS, not Hunt) is on life support and the machine is emanating those loud bleeps that bring doctors racing down the corridor shouting “Charlie. bring the crash cart!” 

In the 2015 manifesto, the Tories promised a 7-day NHS. The NHS should provide the same level of services every day, including weekends, because people fall sick 7 days a week, and it is harder to find a consultant or get an operation on weekends. Junior doctors – and that means anyone who is not a consultant – currently get paid a pittance for 5 days and extra for weekends. Hunt’s proposals entail that junior doctors will now spread their shifts over the whole week. This will mean that already understaffed hospital doctors will have to spread their existing workforce across 7 day shifts for less money, further endangering patient care. The proposals will already have a disproportionate effect on those who work part time because they have child care responsibilities or look after disabled or elderly relatives, as they tend to work weekends when it is easier for them to get others to help with their domestic responsibilities. Negotiations brokered a deal in the summer but it was rejected by the membership 58% to 42% on a turnout of 68%. Now doctors are upping the ante and have announced a series of 5 day strikes, one a month until Christmas. Predictably they have been denounced by the right wing press as middle class militants concerned only about the money. Less predictably, Hunt has compared the attacks on himself to those on Nye Bevan who set up in the NHS in 1948 in the teeth of opposition from most of the doctors of the day (but not WTF’s dad, who voted for it). To paraphrase Senator Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle – Jeremy, you’re no Nye Bevan.

Meanwhile, we have the case of Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust which provides mental health services for the leafy shires of Hampshire, Dorset, Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire. Hundreds of unexpected patient deaths were not properly investigated between 2011 and 2015. Lucrative contracts were awarded to consultancy firms run by former associates of the CEO, Katrina Percy, in some cases without their having to bid for them. However, those in charge of this shambles are doing nicely. Ms Percy received an annual package worth £240,000. The COO’s and Medical Director’s annual packages were about £350,ooo. The Trust Board’s salaries and benefits rose over the past 2 years by 60% whilst nurses, midwives and health visitors were cut by 30%. 

After an 18 year old man with learning difficulties was found dead in the bath of the unit supposedly caring for  him, a death which was wholly preventable, Ms Percy clung on to office for months but this week she announced that she was leaving her post “due to ongoing media attention”, translated as continuing interest in her outrageous refusal to take responsibility for the Trust she was paid a fortune to run. But will she suffer financially? Of course not. She is taking up a consultancy post in the self-same Trust offering GPs “strategic advice” for the same salary and benefits. So whilst junior doctors are asked to do more for less, Ms Percy is going to do less for the same. But then, as WTF has often pointed out, these people do not do shame. 

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The week’s designer dung is all from the Video Music Awards where horror was in abundance. We start with singer Cassie, wearing a Balmain jacket and Gucci trousers.

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The jacket is great. But there needs to be something underneath it. WTF has a marked dislike of trousers with no feet emanating from the bottom of them. Like these ones. Questions also have to be asked about the hair, which seems to have been dipped into a bowl of neon custard.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell, wearing Brandon Maxwell.

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 28: Naomi Campbell attends the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards at Madison Square Garden on August 28, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Brandon Maxwell is the man who made a fool out of FLOTUS by putting her into a wholly unflattering white shroud.  And now he has conned the ever-lovely Naomi into wearing this creation, so that she seems to be behind a draylon dining chair. And that split! How much vaginal ventilation does a girl need?

Actress Dascha Polanco wearing Yuna Yang.

dascha

Dascha is always complaining that designers do not provide her with Red Carpet clothing so she clearly improvised, winding a length of blue satin around her chest and pulling on a pair of jeans. With unsatisfactory results.

Actor Ansel Elgort, wearing who knows what?

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 28: Ansel Elgort attends the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards at Madison Square Garden on August 28, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Michael Jackson did this better. 30 years ago. Ansel should detach the chain and use it to set about his stylist. No jury on earth would convict.

Singer Bebe Rexha wearing Bryan Hearns.

bebe

This is like some glamorised fantasy whiplash – diamanté neck and tit dressings with matching miniskirt. And are those boots or compression bandages? Yurgle.

Model Stella Maxwell wearing Moschino and Jeremy Scott, Moschino’s designer,  wearing himself.

stella and jeremy

Stella is looking very swirly and WTF cannot abide a conical tit, least of all when it doubles up as an archery board. Jeremy looks like one of those cheap Peruvian rugs and his pose is preposterous, as if squatting over a hole-in-the-floor toilet. He has also, like Cassie, forgotten his shirt.

As you can imagine, there was no shortage of contenders for our new feature, Sheer Tedium.  We start with a regular, singer and new presenter of America’s Next Top Model Rita Ora, wearing Marc Jacobs.

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 28: Rita Ora attends the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards at Madison Square Garden on August 28, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Rita resembles some prehistoric animal that came off worst in a fight with a raptor. She would also do well to recall what happened to Naomi Campbell when she tottered down Vivienne Westwood’s runway in similarly foolish footwear.

Singer Nicki Minaj, wearing Bao Tranchi.

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 28: Nicki Minaj attends the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards at Madison Square Garden on August 28, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Like a giant ink blot with bosoms. Nicki is right to look stricken. Her expression matches the one on those of appalled onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment. WTF hates a visible groin line almost above all things…. 

Singer Beyoncé, wearing Francesco Scognamilio.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (5848766w) Beyonce Knowles 2016 MTV Video Music Awards, Arrivals, Madison Square Garden, New York, USA - 28 Aug 2016 2016 MTV Video Music Awards

Beyoncé’s head appears to be poking out of a big bird’s bottom and regardless of whether she is wearing panties, she appears not to be, which is bad. Faux-minge is as disturbing as the real thing, sartorially speaking.

Finally, and appallingly, we have YouTube sensation Baddie Winkel aged 88. Mind how you go with this one….

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There is body confidence. And there is what the fuck are you doing? This is the latter. Stick sparkle is one thing. Minge sparkle is quite another. As for the orthopaedic wedge booties, WTF prefers not to speak of them.

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 This week’s It’s Got to Go is from WTF aficionado  and regular complainant Leslie. In this case, he is actually making a case for It’s Got to Come Back – plates!!! Leslie says that he and his partner spent a lovely few days in Poole, Dorset where they encountered a (gourmet!) burger served on what looked like a floor board…… a steak served on a slate (hopeless for juices emanating from said foodstuff)…… and a chicken panini served in an enamel pie dish.

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Leslie asks whether there is a house somewhere in Dorset without any floorboards or roof and hopes that no inclement weather is forecast. He says  “I am by no means a food snob and will eat anything but please do not serve it to me on anything which could possibly harbour any insanitary nonsense”. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. It has been a bit slow on the comments so keep them coming and don’t neglect your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Politics, Uncategorized, VMAs 2016, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

WTF #WeareHismedia Special

Hallo Readers,

Jeremy Corbyn has not had a good week.  Last Saturday, London Mayor Sadiq Khan came out against him, citing a failure of leadership. Twitter, aka #wearehismedia, exploded in a frenzy. WTF is surprised that the “he” is not Capitalised, such is the religious fervour surrounding Jezza, and, after all, he and the Lord Jesus have the same initials. Khan was not just a traitorous, backstabbing, neoliberal, globalist, Tory, Blairite who had bitten the hand that fed him the Mayoral candidacy and won him the election (which, by the way, is nonsense). He was a Zionist. He was manipulated by the Friends of Israel. He was pictured in a yarmulka. He was, according to one tweeting prat, an Israelite. WTF wondered whether this was a reference to the late Desmond Dekker’s oeuvre of the same name in 1969 but then lost the will to live and gave up wondering. There is of course absolutely no Anti-Semitism in the Labour Party. None whatsoever.

On Monday Kezia Dugdale, the Leader of the Scottish Labour Party, came out against JC.  She escaped the Zionist tag but also was subjected to dog’s abuse from #weareHismedia. Admittedly, Scottish Labour is so far down the toilet that it can only be seen with a periscope and Ms Dugdale’s authority is limited, but did she really merit such a degree of obloquy? 

Tuesday brought Traingate, a splendid example of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. British trains are overcrowded, overpriced and overdue. People routinely have to stand in the corridor or sit on the floor outside malodorous toilets. On Southern Trains, services routinely run half an hour late, if they run at all, whilst passengers, or customers as they are now known, are packed against each other at the same angle as the Leaning Tower of Pisa. So when JC was filmed sitting on the floor next to some Virgin Trains toilets on the 11 am from Euston to Newcastle, speaking earnestly to camera and feeling the pain of fellow seatless travellers, it struck a nerve with many, even Tories. Until it turned out, thanks to Virgin East Coast’s CCTV, that he had got a seat, that he could have found a seat before that (he hadn’t booked) and that there had been available seats in (Sub)Standard Class. Some seats had been reserved for travellers but there were no travellers in them. JC’s people then said that there had been children on the seats, which is why they could not be seen on camera. Did JC have the misfortune to encounter the 21st century version of Kindertransport? WTF’s own theory was that there were loads of Little People en route to a Peter Dinklage appreciation convention in York. The story then changed. There were seats available, just not two together and JC had wanted to sit with his wife. Is that not Quixotic? He would rather sit on the floor outside a pungent pissoir than be separated from his spouse. Except there was no sign of Mrs C. Even when he was filmed taking his seat, there was no sign of her. So where was she? Should we not be told? Have the British Transport Police been informed? Or Interpol? 

JC’s spin was not, on the whole, that serious in the scheme of things and he certainly had a point about overcrowding but he looked like a hypocrite (having previously eschewed spin) and worse still he looked inept. However, to #weareHismedia, it was all a conspiracy hatched between Sir Beardie Branson and the capitalist press and everyone else who is out to get JC, which, in their eyes, is everyone who does not support him.  And any further criticism of him will be treated in exactly the same way because it is simply impossible that anyone could genuinely hold a contrary view of him which is not based on some malign ideology. This is the way that things are. Welcome aboard. The buffet car will shortly be open serving a variety of tasty toasted sandwiches, hot and cold beverages and alcoholic drinks. Please keep the aisles clear at all times.

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To the sartorial silliness of the week. On Wednesday, WTF suffered from a bad case of Olympic-athletes-coming-home-burnout and if she hears the words “golden couple” once more, she will run amok with a bicycle chain. Still, seeing them disembark in their Stella McCartney tracksuits reminded WTF that she had not yet discussed the said garments, worn here by yachting gold medallists Hannah Mills and Saskia Clark.

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - AUGUST 19: Hannah Mills of Great Britain (left) and Saskia Clark of Great Britain pose with their gold medals after winning the womens 470 class medal race at the Marina da Gloria on Day 14 of the 2016 Rio Olympic Games on August 19, 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images)

Sorry but this is nasty, particularly in its extreme swirliness. Looking at them, you keep worrying that the picture is out of focus. Or that your eyes are. 

Here is actor Bradley Cooper at the premiere of his new movie War Dogs.

bradley

There is casual and there is I’ve-been-sleeping-in-a-cardboard-box-in-Bloomingdales’-doorway. This falls clearly into the second category. Memo to Bradley. You’re rich. Buy one of these….

iron

And now for a new feature entitled Sheer Tedium, in which we deplore the continuing yawn-fest that is see-through clothing. First up is actress Naya Rivera of Glee fame, wearing House of CB.

naya house of cb

Hate the sheer. Hate the tapered minge curtains.  Hate the whole  thing.

And next up, Mel B wearing Yousef Al-Jasmi.

**EXCLUSIVE** Photo Credit: MOVI Inc. Date: August 22nd 2016 Mel B dons an extremely eyecatching see through jumpsuit with matching heels as she heads out for dinner after an "America's Got Talent" taping in West Hollywood,CA. The former Spice Girl showed off her enviable figure with a nude thong and bra visible under the risque number.

Is she going ice-skating? If you are going to wear flesh-toned undies, choose some that actually tone with your flesh. WTF has taken wildly against both the faux-pubes and the grey hobgoblin boots. The back is also bad.

mel b back

That zip cannot be comfortable. And she looks as if she has been sitting on the floor next to a train toilet…..

At the risk of alienating WTF aficionado Pamela Timms, aka @eatandust, whose Corbynista-like loyalty to the OITNB cast led her to forgive Danielle Brooks for flashing her bra and Dascha Polanko for wearing see-through lacy-jim-jams under an Ali Baba coat, WTF is forced to bemoan the third and fourth cast members in a quartet of queasiness. This is Natasha Lyonne, aka Nicky, wearing Faith Connexion.

natasha

Natasha looks as if she is wearing a leather straitjacket over a turtleneck top. Faith Connexion deserve immediate incarceration for this crime against fashion.

And this is Jackie Cruz, aka Flaca, (the one with the painted teardrop).

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 17: Jackie Cruz attends the Remy Martin launch of The 2016 Circle Of Centaurs with Jackie Cruz at The Bowery Hotel on August 17, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Remy Martin)

This seems to have been constructed out of random pieces of sheet metal. Which ran out before she’d finished….

Off to New York and actress, writer and standup Amy Schumer, wearing – it’s her again – Stella McCartney.

amy

This is further proof, were proof actually required, that Stella continues to take the piss. The top looks like an M&S corsellette whilst the trousers are doing Amy no favours and flap about like Dumbo’s ears. Memo to Amy  – if you really have to wear these (and you so don’t) then take a size up.

Finally, here is reality TV horror Charlotte Dawson wearing fashion fecal matter of unknown provenance. Careful now….

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Anyone who was not a complete moron with defective eyesight would recoil at this leather child’s safety gate worn over a leotard and under a surgical gown. Charlotte, who clearly is a complete moron with defective eyesight, had a different take on this, as expressed by her on Twitter.

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 12.29.54 pm

Charlotte, babe, you do not look gr888. UHGTBSM (You Have Got To be Shitting Me).  This best describes what you look like…..

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This week’s It’s Got To Go is from Deborah of North London who has taken umbrage at car drivers who wear hats, any hats, whilst driving. Deborah makes the following points. First, wearing a hat in a closed car is pointless given that a car is waterproof and windproof. Second, it obstructs your line of vision. And third, there is a clear correlation (maintains Deborah) between the size of the hat worn and the poor standard of driving. Readers may care to correspond on this matter but Deborah is clear. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming as WTF gets all worried and sulky when they start tapering off. And do not neglect your suggestions for It’s Got To Go because they are of the highest quality. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Jeremy Corbyn, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Down and Dirty in Rio Special

Hallo Readers,

Four years ago, WTF described the Olympics, somewhat churlishly, as a process where someone you have never heard of from somewhere you didn’t know existed can win a medal in a sport you would not be caught dead watching, even if you had ever heard of it, which you haven’t. There are many events in which she has no interest, namely anything involving horses, guns, golf clubs, hockey sticks, canoes, boats, kayaks, go-karts, BMX bikes, boxing gloves or over-muscled people of indeterminate gender throwing things a great distance whilst emitting loud grunting  noises. Basketball? It is netball for blokes. The rules of track cycling are incomprehensible and it is difficult to tell who is in the lead as they all look the same in tight lycra (see below) with upturned Alessi fruit bowls on their heads. But our gold medal cyclists did brilliantly and there is much pleasure to be had generally from watching running (if you can banish your drug doubts), swimming (ditto), gymnastics and diving, particularly when Team GB wins. And although WTF does not see why tennis is an Olympic sport, she, like many others, sat up late into the night watching Andy Murray triumph over Juan Martin Del Potro, despite some jolly unsporting behaviour from the crowd and the excellence of his opponent.

The point of the Olympics is that the best of the best (minus the currently identified drug cheats and Russians various) in every sport compete against each other every four years and all in one place. But the place is the problem. Rio de Janeiro, a city with huge economic problems – namely, that it is virtually bankrupt. Teachers have gone months without pay, pensions remain unpaid and Guanabara Bay, where our gallant sailors scooped up their gold medals, is full of sewage. Many people live in squalor and in abject poverty. Despite this, however, Rio has seen fit to spend at least $4.6bn on hosting the Games, going 50% over budget. The favelas have been hidden from tourists behind colourfully-painted walls. There is a new airport and a new subway running from the Olympic site to the areas where posh people live. There are flashy high-rise blocks which currently house the athletes but which will then be turned into expensive apartments with fat-cat developers making millions. Is it money well spent? The citizens of Rio certainly do not think so. They demonstrated before the Games and the stadia have been noticeably empty, not just because tickets prices are so high but because they resent the whole, ridiculous grandiosity and the fact that money which is sorely needed elsewhere has been lavished on a three-week chimera.

Does it actually matter where the Games are held? A velodrome is a velodrome, a pool is a pool.  Would Jason Kenny’s achievements be any less stunning had he won his many gold medals in Rotherham? Or in a permanent Olympic venue with the infrastructure already in place? Every four years, we have this caravanserai, preceded by the unedifying bidding process where dodgy local officials “entertain” even dodgier IOC officials, the whole thing presided over by the huge global brands who have the final say about everything in exchange for their sponsorship. As viewers settle back on their sofas to watch someone in Rio do something faster/higher/better than someone else, it is easy to forget that other people will still be there after the circus leaves town, will still go on living in dark, dangerous, dumps with inadequate facilities, whose city is still further in debt so that we could be entertained watching someone bouncing on a trampoline and Clare Balding shouting It’s a silver in the kayak!”Meanwhile, the Rio property developers are rubbing their hands in glee and the IOC members are looking forward to their next consignment of goodie bags. The Olympic ideal? I think not…..

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We start our review of the week’s clothing crapulence with singer Rita Ora, a WTF regular. Here she is out and about in New York City, wearing Jean Paul Gaultier.

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There is no nice way of saying this. She looks as if her chest has got stuck in some railings. 

We next encounter young actress Peyton List at the Variety Power of Young Hollywood bash on Tuesday, wearing who knows what.

peyton

She is pretty. Her hairstyle is cute. But she is wearing a shower curtain as a skirt.

This is WTF regular actor Ansel Elgort at the same event wearing Alexander Wang.

LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 16: Actor Ansel Elgort attends Variety's Power of Young Hollywood event, presented by Pixhug, with Platinum Sponsor Vince Camuto at NeueHouse Hollywood on August 16, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Barry King/Getty Images)

What on earth is Alexander Wank up to? This is a random collection of rubbish made worse by its being worn together. Particular disapprobation is reserved for the ridiculous cropped khaki trousers, which are a war crime all on their own.

OK, what is this? I give you the GB Olympic Women Cycling Team, Katie Archibald, Joanna Rowsell-Shand, Elinor Barker and Laura Trott wearing their Stella McCartney-designed cycling gear. 

(From L) Britain's Katie Archibald, Britain's Joanna Rowsell-Shand, Britain's Elinor Barker and Britain's Laura Trott celebrate after winning gold in the women's Team Pursuit finals track cycling event at the Velodrome during the Rio 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro on August 13, 2016. / AFP / Odd ANDERSEN (Photo credit should read ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/Getty Images)

As friend Bel remarked on seeing this picture, “it’s got a thing for your thingy but girls haven’t got thingies”. Well, not those thingies anyway. WTF appreciates that your nether regions need padding out a bit when perched atop a narrow saddle for hours on end, but they look as if they are wearing the giant codpieces sported by Malcolm McDowell and his murderous mates in A Clockwork Orange.

a clockwork orange

Talking of thingies, meet actor Chris Pine at the premiere of Hell or High Water wearing a shirt by Bogliogli and some very snug-fitting trousers of unknown provenance.

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There is no need to ask which side Chris dresses. But there is every need to ask why he is dressing like this. The shirt is fine but the high-waisted trousers are very Simon Cowell and, not to put too fine a point on it, he needs to take a size up. As demonstrated by the lie of those pockets.  And the lie of, er, other bits.

Here is über-ghastly trashfest Chloe Khan, a “reality star”, being booted out of Celebrity Big Brother, wearing Abyss by Abby. Which, whichever way you look at it, is apt.

BOREHAMWOOD, ENGLAND - AUGUST 12: Chloe Khan is the third housemate evicted from Celebrity Big Brother 2016 at Elstree Studios on August 12, 2016 in Borehamwood, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)

Actually the dress on a normal person would be OK but Chloe is as far from a normal person as you can get without going extra-terrestrial. Those tits are perfectly ridiculous and the bodice is patently not up to the job, the veritable quart crammed with minimal success into a pint pot. Actually younger Readers will not know what I am talking about. A quart is two pints. Mind you, this is more like four pints.

Finally, this is designer and musician Dork Dozier (no, me neither), wearing who knows what…

dork dozier

Good grief. Dork by name, Dork by nature. What is that hat? It is sort of half-Puritan, half Mountie, all pillock. The rest of the outfit, as far as WTF can see, is a cross between a shepherd’s smock and a doctor’s coat, adorned with a multiplicity of sparkly bow ties and teamed with white shoes. Here is a WTF rule. Men should only wear white shoes if they are chefs or tennis players….

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado @FurnessGirl who is rightly appalled by the recent spate of public proposals to female athletes during their moment of Olympic glory. Chinese diver Qin Kai, himself a bronze medallist, got down on one knee in front of girlfriend and fellow diver He Li as she stood on the podium to receive her silver medal. Elsewhere, Charlotte Dujardin’s fiancé, Dean Wyatt, wore a sign saying “Now Can We Get Married?” after she triumphed  in the dressage. @FurnessGirl is sure that no woman would upstage her beloved in this way. Both winners should have told their ardent swains to stop hogging the limelight and renew their applications later and in private because these were not professions of love but a cry of  “Me, me, me, what about me?”. To which the correct responses are (i) “What about you?”  and (ii) “Bugger off, I’m busy”. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming as WTF is in stygian gloom after Arsenal’s dismal performance last Sunday and needs cheeriness in her life. And do not neglect your suggestions for It’s Got To Go because they have been totally tops. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Olympics, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

WTF The Thing That Ate Washington Special

Hallo Readers,

A few weeks ago, WTF speculated on whether Donald Trump’s candidacy was actually an extended and elaborate hoax on the American people. It is clear that it is much, much worse than that. A hoax can be funny but there is nothing remotely amusing about The Donald, except perhaps his hair. Possibly Trump did not expect to get this far and is now deliberately sabotaging his prospects of winning in November. But the more plausible explanation is that he is so pumped up with his own unique blend of hatred, hubris and hot air that he thinks himself invincible. If he ever listened to reason, which is doubtful, he sure as hell ain’t listening now. It is time to worry. Since we last dwelt upon The Donald, he has insulted the Muslim parents of a war hero who died in Iraq, the equivalent of shooting yourself in both feet; incited the gun lobby to assassinate Hillary Clinton in order to prevent her from repealing the Second Amendment, thus putting an end to the inalienable right to shoot people at random; and blamed President Obama for founding ISIS, which most people sort of think is not true. Sane people, that is.

The fundamental thing about Trump is that he speaks out of his fundament and his increasing and obvious lunacy is causing some die-hard Republicans to back away. George H Bush, George W Bush and Jeb Bush have all refused to endorse him. Just think how unpalatable you have to be to offend those three. 50 GOP Foreign Affairs and National Security exports have denounced him as positively dangerous and unfit to have his finger on the nuclear button. The man who advised the idiot former Vice-President Dan  “That’s not how you spell potatoe”  Quayle came out this week and said that he could not support him.  Two former heads of the Environment Protection Society said that Trump has shown a “profound ignorance” of the science and public health issues embodied in US environmental laws, adding Republicans should be “shocked and outraged” at his stance. Who knew? Answer – everybody with an IQ higher than Dan Quayle. But it’s OK – he still has Clint Eastwood. Which is the last time WTF ever watches Hang’ em High.  He has gone too far.

This recent spate of Republican handwringing is all well and good but it is all self-inflicted. It is the man who murders his parents pleading for clemency on the grounds that he is an orphan.  It is the woman who drank two bottles of wine blaming the wall for letting itself be driven into. Republicans – you got yourself into this. You failed to put up a credible alternative candidate. You supported this man. This is not like the movies where Mr Ordinary Joe suddenly turns into The Thing That Ate Washington. Trump was always, demonstrably, rabid, racist and reprehensible.  It is not enough just to sidle backwards into the shadows. Or to to say that you will abstain. Either you ditch him and or you do your damnedest to support Hillary or both. Because this is serious…

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We start our review of the week’s fashion follies with “actress, model, television personality, cellist and beauty queen” Olivia Culpo out and about in LA.

olivia

She looks like a collapsed flag.

This is Christina Milian at the Fox Televisions Critics Awards wearing something dire by Lexi Clothing.

52143896 Celebrities attend the Fox Summer TCA All-Star party held at the SOHO house on August 8, 2016 in West Hollywood, California. Celebrities attend the Fox Summer TCA All-Star party held at the SOHO house on August 8, 2016 in West Hollywood, California. Pictured: Christina Milian FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876

There is a preponderance of spilth around the tit department. She seems about to pop out of a liquorice ice-cream cone. But her pedicure is awfully nice.

Next up is reality TV “star” Chloe Goodman wearing something extremely cheap and nasty. 

chloe

The good news is that her boobs are not surgically enhanced. The bad news is that they are on display. This degree of exposure would be unacceptable even returning from the hotel pool, let alone venturing out and about coram publico and teamed with a lace sarong.

Here is diva de luxe Mariah Carey popping out for dinner in LA.

mc

Popping out are les mots justes but WTF’s main complaints lie elsewhere. First, the fishnet tights/strappy stilettos combo makes Mariah look like a superannuated Las Vegas showgirl. And second, the said stilettos (Valentino £690 Rockstuds) are so high that she cannot walk unaided and so she has to be held up by two minions like support joists. Which, however you look at it, is ridiculous.

Let us consider the Swedish Olympic team at the Opening Ceremony in Rio wearing H&M.

sweden

Boy scouts and girl guides dipped in neon custard. And those knee socks are a It’s Got To Go all on their own.

We now encounter actress and WTF regular Diane Kruger at the AOL party, wearing Valentino.

diane

Baffled. WTF is baffled. And then baffled some more. Diane has nicked her jacket from Jared Leto and appears to be wearing a pair of his baggy old boxers under a black mesh curtain. Truly appalling, made worse by the doubtless enormous price tag.

Finally, we have soapy actress Jacqueline McInnes Wood.

jacqeline mcinnes wood

This is just terribly, terribly, terrible, apparently put together from the curtains in a Wild West bordello with a built-in and deeply offensive lead-light tit window. Why would you wear this? And her toes are falling over her sandals. Which WTF hates almost above all things.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes in the form of a heartfelt plea from WTF aficionado Alison of Stepney who has had enough of  the F word – Favela! Sprinkled liberally over Olympic reports in a bid for cheap instant colour and flavour like paprika on a bland stew, it also gives a false veneer of inclusivity, even though the favelas’ wretched inhabitants will not get closer to the sports events than their telly screen – if they even have one. Which they probably do not. It’s Got To Go!

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming in and cheer WTF up who persists in a nagging gloom which needs sorting (and it does not look as if the new football season will do the trick, what with Arsenal having no bloody defenders). Please keep those excellent suggestions coming for It’s Got To GoAs WTF said last week, being on holiday IS NO EXCUSE!!  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x

Posted in Celebrity, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Hillary Clinton, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

WTF Entitlement Special


Hallo Readers,

Everyone was already very worked up by the Cameron Resignation Honours List, which was leaked to the Sunday Times last weekend. WTF certainly was. Regular Readers will know that she is a dogged opponent of the honours system. In the main, recipients fall into the following categories. (i) Arse-lickers political and/or mates with the PM and/or both (ii) Those whom Party Leaders need in the House of Lords to boost the numbers (iii) Civil servants, to go with their copper-bottomed, index-linked, fuck-off pensions (iv) Captains of Industry who have got the chequebook out and poured gold into Party coffers (v) Clapped out entertainers you thought had died and only realise they hadn’t when they get down on arthritic knees in front of HMQ and receive a knighthood. This gets embarrassing when they are later arrested for kiddy fiddling 30 years ago when they were in their pomp (vi) Sportspersons (vii) People who actually help the community through charitable work or doing a job for a pittance for decades, like school crossing patrollers. You know – proper people. And let us be clear. This is not just a Tory thing. The other parties are just as bad in ennobling and honouring their little mates and paymasters. 

Cameron, not content with demanding and getting six months’ severance pay for his bevy of special advisers, has now ensured that his mates and minions have been “honoured” in the Resignation Honours List. Mostly for cocking up, like the Remain Campaigners. Some are made Lords, like his Chief of Staff. Some are given knighthoods, like serial failure Oliver Letwin, a man who would not recognise the right decision if it pissed in his eye. George Osborne, who did as much as anyone to lose the campaign with his ridiculous threats of financial wipeout and the coming of the 10 plagues, is made a Companion of Honour. Samantha Cameron’s stylist/PA/diary keeper, Isabel Spearman, who received £60,000 from the public purse, has the Order of the British Empire for services to politics. She did better than Dave’s barber, Lino Carbosiero, who 2 years ago only got an MBE for services to hairdressing.  

Ironically, the only person who actually deserves recognition in the list is Jeremy Corbyn’s sole nominee, Shami Chakrabarti, who spearheaded the fight for civil liberties for many years and is generally a Good Thing. But even that appointment has its difficulties. First, Corbyn said he would not support the appointment of peers, yet did so. Second, Chakrabarti chaired an enquiry into anti-semitism in the Labour Party and gave it generally a clean bill of health, only to be elevated to the Lords months later.  She has turned down peerages before and so WTF does not remotely believe that she whitewashed the result because she did not need to do so – she could have had one at any time she wanted one. But here is a WTF Rule. Even if it is not iffy, it makes no difference because it looks as it if could be, however unfair that is.

We have to put a stop to this nonsense. P.D.Q. Meanwhile Cameron is flaunting his pasty paunch in Corsica in his £250 swim trunks whilst waving 2 fingers at us all.  Don’t hurry back, Dave. You won’t be missed.

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We start our foray into the week’s fashion flotsam at the Maxim Hot 100 Party where a lot of celebs looked totally and utterly, shockingly, shite. They could have done with the attentions of Ms Spearman, as she could not have done a worse job than this lot achieved for themselves. We start with singer/songwriter/whatever RedOne (né Nadir Al-Khyat) looking like a right pillock.

RedOne

WTF does not even know what this is supposed to be. He appears to be standing in an upturned terracotta double chimney.

Next, we have Spice Girl and TV personage Mel B, wearing who knows what.

52137164 The 2016 Maxim Hot 100 Party held at The Hollywood Palladium in Hollywood, California on 7/31/16. The 2016 Maxim Hot 100 Party held at The Hollywood Palladium in Hollywood, California on 7/31/16. Mel B FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876

Hands up those who want to see Mel B’s minge. No-one? Thought not…..

Also present was model Shaun Ross.

sean ross

Shaun looks like an Amish postman whose trousers have had a serious argument with his ankles. It made a pleasant change from the amount of tawdry flesh on show elsewhere, but even so….

We now go to the Teen Choice Awards and young Scottish singer Tallia Storm, wearing Alfredo Villalba.

tallia

The good news is that Tallia has got rid of her ridiculous cottage-loaf hairstyle.  The bad news is that she has started dressing like an Abbey Clancy mini-me but without the legs to do it.  She looks like she has survived some sort of cataclysmic event.

Now this is upsetting. The fabulous, fashionable FLOTUS usually does not put a foot wrong. But this Brandon Maxwell thing constitutes not just one foot but both of them as well as her ankles, deep, deep, deep in a bucket of slurry.

WASHINGTON, DC - AUGUST 02: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama and U.S. President Barack Obama wait for the arrival of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong of Singapore and his wife Ho Ching on the North Portico of the White House August 2, 2016 in Washington, DC. The Obamas are hosting the prime minister and his wife for an official state dinner. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

She looks like a wrestler bursting out of a shroud. Have you ever seen anything so unflattering? The back is also very bad.

WASHINGTON, DC - AUGUST 02: (L-R) Ho Ching, first lady Michelle Obama, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong of Singapore and U.S. President Barack Obama walk into the White House after greeting one another on the North Portico August 2, 2016 in Washington, DC. The Obamas are hosting the prime minister and his wife for an official state dinner. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Are those trousers underneath the skirt? And the last time WTF saw shoulders like that, they were on Steven Segal and they looked better on him.

Ah! Our old friend Jared Leto at the premiere of Suicide Squad wearing Gucci. Of course he is.

52139843 The cast spotted leaving Claridge's hotel and heading to the European premiere of their new film 'Suicide Squad' at Odeon Leicester Square in London, England on August 2, 2016. The cast spotted leaving Claridge's hotel and heading to the European premiere of their new film 'Suicide Squad' at Odeon Leicester Square in London, England on August 2, 2016. Pictured: Jared Leto FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: USA/CHINA ONLY

WTF likes the coat and does not even mind the contrast with the pink trewsies. But not these pink trewsies. These have not so much had an argument with his ankles as actively filed for divorce. And white socks with black loafers?

To the premiere of Sharknado – the 4th Load of Old Crap and actress Tara Reid, wearing WTF bugbear and Minge Maestro, Michael Costello.

52137703 Celebrities attend "Sharknado 4: Awakens" premiere in Las Vegas, Nevada on July 31, 2016 Celebrities attend "Sharknado 4: Awakens" premiere in Las Vegas, Nevada on July 31, 2016Ó Pictured: Tara Reid FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876

Tara seems to have been rolling around in glue and a load of dead pigeons. She is also displaying an unwarranted amount of flesh. The effect is deeply unsexy, like a barely-pubescent teenager playing dress up. As for the My Little Ponytail, it is to be deplored.

Finally, we happen upon Elton John out and about in Sardinia.

image

OMG. Another dose of leaf green, but unlike Jared’s coat, this is just horrible in every possible way. He resembles Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances reincarnated as a pudgy leprechaun in rascal trainers.

trainers

Elton! Have a word with yourself. Those trainers would look good on one of your young sons. You are 69. Trainers should not be worn with a shorts suit. And a shorts suit should not be worn at all. 


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This week’s It’s Got To Go is from Trevor from North Cornwall who is fed up with his roads being blocked by tossers in caravans and camper vans crawling along the A 30 at 15 miles an hour and then parking the bloody things right in front of the best views. Trevor feels that he is entitled to drive to work without having his retinas assaulted by these ghastly white boxes and his progress slowed to walking pace. And they seem to be driven/towed by people who can’t bloody drive. They’ve  Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming in or WTF gets grumpy.  And get busy with your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Being on holiday IS NO EXCUSE!!  This is why the Good Lord invented Wi-Fi and 3G! Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Honours List, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Presidential Special

Hallo Readers,

This blog is dedicated to my beloved friend Barbara, who died suddenly a year ago and is very much missed.

WTF kept hoping that Donald Trump’s presidential bid was a giant hoax, like Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast or the time when Joaquin Phoenix pretended to go off his rocker or when England were expected to beat Iceland and progress to the Quarter Finals of the Euros. Sadly, however, it appears to be true. The Donald wants to be President of the United States and there is seems to be a good chance that he will be. Whereupon we will all be done for.

Trump is going to refuse Muslims entry to the US. Which Muslims? All Muslims? The latest version is that this will apply to Moslems “from nations tied to Islamic terror”. Does that include France and Germany? He is going to build a wall along the US/Mexican border (a total of 1,989 miles) and make Mexico pay for it. That is a lot of bricks and a lot of manpower, a sort of racist New Deal. Quite how he intends to collect the cost from Mexico is unclear. Is he going to send in the bailiffs? He is singlehandedly going to bring back 4 million manufacturing jobs whilst simultaneously cutting taxes (the top 0.1% of taxpayers will get more tax relief than the bottom 60% combined, but hey, this is Trumponomics). He is going to take ISIS oil, using ground troops – Presidents Assad and Putin will be thrilled. And this week he invited Putin to hack further into the State Department computer to retrieve damning emails from his rival Hillary Clinton. He does know that Putin is President of Russia, right? The Donald has said “I don’t know anything about him other than he will respect me”. Trump has played the celebrity bigmouth for so long and with such success that he seems to view the Presidency of the US as just another reality show. If it sounds good, say it. If it sounds bad, say it anyway. Then deny you said it. Or just say something else. Appeal to the baser instincts of the American people. Compound their ignorance with yours. And you know what, Readers? It seems to be working.

Trump has been lucky, though. His Democrat opponent is Hillary Clinton. And Clinton has been lucky. Her Republican opponent is Donald Trump. America has been unlucky because it has to choose between them.

It has to be said that Hillary is hard to love. Or even to like. She is glacial. She is calculating. Her voice is like the sound of nails down a blackboard. She is no orator. She is decidedly dodgy, scandal sticking to her like burrs to a picnic blanket, albeit she has been demonised beyond measure by the Republican machine and Trump in particular.  Still, the whole primary process this time was heavily slanted in her favour. If Sanders did so well on a skewed process, how would he have done on a properly conducted one? She avoided prosecution for using her own email account whilst she was Secretary of State but she was found to have been less than honest in her answers to the FBI and despite asserting that she had cooperated with the investigation, 3,000 emails were deleted. A recent poll showed that 68% of citizens think she is dishonest and do not trust her, whereas only 43% think the same of Trump. The Washington Post adroitly observed that “what the Clintons lack in a sense of shame, they make up for in an air of entitlement”. It is this sort of high-handed elitism that drove voters to favour Trump and Sanders in an attempt to get something new and fresh – not to mention Brexit over here. But let us not go there, this week anyway. Sanders was fresh. Trump is rancid.

Still, WTF, with no dog in the fight, would rather have someone dodgy but competent to someone dangerously reckless and unwilling to listen to anyone. Last night, Tina Brown quoted an unnamed Republican senator as saying, “Hillary has baggage but Donald is crazy….and you can’t fix crazy”. Quite.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion fecal matter with actress Lauren Cohan at Comic-Con, wearing who knows what….

SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 23: Actress Lauren Cohan attends Entertainment Weekly's Comic-Con Bash held at Float, Hard Rock Hotel San Diego on July 23, 2016 in San Diego, California sponsored by HBO. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly)

This is a re-styled duvet cover but she forgot to take the buttons off.

Next up, we have actress Margot Robbie wearing Monse.

SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 23: Actress Margot Robbie attends the Warner Bros. Presentation during Comic-Con International 2016 at San Diego Convention Center on July 23, 2016 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

More Monsense. Do stop. She looks as if she has been mugged in her trench coat, the thieves tore the sleeves off and then legged it. Rather like Monse.

Actress/heiress/somethingorotheress Tori Spelling at a fundraiser in LA, wearing her dress backwards.

STUDIO CITY, CA - JULY 27: Actress Tori Spelling arrives at Raising The Bar To End Parkinson's at Laurel Point on July 27, 2016 in Studio City, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)

Clarification. Either the dress is on backwards or her torso is. Either way it is just terribly, terribly terrible, Doily Woman made flesh.

Now we have actress Dania Ramirez at the premiere of Bad Moms, wearing Bad Clothes (i.e. a dress by House of Meena and boots by Lesilia).

dania ramirez

Great body, great legs, lovely face, appalling outfit. Particularly the tit blindfold under the tuxedo capelet.

This is show-off model and WAG Abbey Clancy at her brother’s wedding in Mallorca, wearing WTF bugbear Julien Macdonald.

abbey

No, Abbey, no. You are not supposed to be the main attraction at someone else’s wedding. You are certainly not supposed to arrive at said wedding in your nightie. This is your brother’s wedding, for Heaven’s sake. However, your new sister-in-law will have found consolation in (i) those ridiculously pillowed lips and (ii) your burnt chest, which is positively radioactive.

The wiener Justin Bieber, wearing a load of old rubbish.

Justin Bieber was spotted arriving to Dinner at Nobu in NYC only 2 hours before he was scheduled to perform at Madison Square Garden for the final US Show of his tour. Bieber was apparently unimpressed by the fans and photographers awaiting his arrival. He forcefully thrust a Middle finger towards them before running inside, wearing a colorful outfit, sagging pants and sunglasses. Pictured: Justin Bieber Ref: SPL1321439 190716 Picture by: Splash News Splash News and Pictures Los Angeles: 310-821-2666 New York: 212-619-2666 London: 870-934-2666 photodesk@splashnews.com

WTF is sorry to observe that Justin continues to look like a prat and she hates folded down dungarees almost above all things. These are particularly ridiculous, like a penis pinafore.

Finally, we have singer Jennifer Lopez at her birthday bash in Las Vegas, wearing Balmain.

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Sorry. There is no question that she is hot as hell, but she looks like she has just rolled around in pigshit.

  
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This week’s It’s Got To Go is little Miss Smug herself, singer Taylor Swift and her beau actor Tom Hiddleston, collectively known as Hiddleswift.  Despite having known each other for about 3 weeks, they are IN LURVE. We know this because you cannot open a fucking paper without seeing them smooching.

hiddleswift

And when we are not looking at them, we are hearing about them “talking marriage”. This week Tom rushed to her side to “console” her because she did not receive any MTV Award nominations. Presumably we know this and see the pictures on her private beach and private veranda and private gondola because her PR machine wants us to. Anyway, it is totally and utterly vomit-making and It’s Got to Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming in which keep WTF relatively cheerful. Otherwise she just keeps arguing with friends about Jeremy Corbyn, which is bad for her health. And don’t forget to send those excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Hillary Clinton, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments