WTF London Fashion Week Special

Hallo Readers,

Just like those films where a deranged nutter rampages about, wreaking havoc and destruction in their wake, is then seemingly vanquished and thrust out, only to make a horrifying reappearance in the final reel, Monday saw the return of Liz Truss to centre stage. You remember Truss. She was Prime Minister for 49 days last year before being wrestled to the ground by members of her party and sent packing – but not before crashing the economy with $45bn of unfunded tax cuts, sending mortgages and interest rates soaring skywards and putting the pound into freefall. She briefly tried to blame her own Chancellor, the man she herself had appointed and then summarily sacked; when that one did not wash, she insisted that she was the victim of something called the anti-growth coalition, whose members comprised anyone from North London, anyone who gave or attended dinner parties, lefty lawyers, obstructive civil servants, Uncle Tom Cobley and the Establishment. Since the happy day she left Downing Street, there have been few sightings of Truss. She was occasionally seen in the House of Commons and she popped up at the Coronation in May wearing a stupid hat. But she largely kept quiet until this week when she decided to emerge from the obscurity to which she so rightly belongs to bestow upon us the benefit of her views on the very economy to which she had taken a hatchet 12 months earlier. And of course, Truss being Truss, she continued to maintain that she had been the victim of the aforementioned anti-growth coalition, that she had been right all along (although perhaps the execution of her plan had been a little hurried) and that if only she had been given the chance to go on as she had started, we would all be gambolling in the sunlit uplands of prosperity and plenty. Oh, and she is writing a book all about it which is coming out in April next year. Be still my beating heart…..

 No one was expecting the word ‘sorry’ from this wretched woman, but the brazenness of her defence of the indefensible took the breath away. And if this were not bad enough, and it was, it really was, it then emerged that she was claiming part of the £115,000 annual allowance payable  to former prime ministers to help them run their office. For five months until April 2023, she pocketed £23,310 and it is believed that she is carrying on in similar vein for this financial year. Which means that the taxpayers are footing the bill for 49 days of utter failure. And do not forget that for ten of those days, the nation was in mourning for Her Majesty the Queen and political life was suspended, leaving Truss with little more to do than to plot her assault upon our finances  and to murder a perfectly good passage of the Bible at the Funeral. And Readers, there is more! It has also been reported that this one-woman wrecking machine has earned £250,000 in speaking engagements since relinquishing office – admittedly not in the Boris Johnson class of income, but Johnson, loathsome as he is, does not speak in a low monotone forcing stunned audiences to prop open their eyes with matchsticks. The moral of the story? It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good, even when the storm was started by the person benefitting from it.


It was London Fashion Week last week and all our fashion faux pas are from there. where the glitterati paraded about looking daft.  We start at a party with singer Charli XCX wearing Dilara Fındıkoğlu.

If this is designer, WTF is the tooth fairy. It is nothing but a tattered nighty over a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with a tacked-on minge curtain, like something you would find in a crappy hotel with unpleasing comments about it left by disgruntled Germans on Trip Advisor.

Now we are the Burberry show with actor Jessie Buckley wearing, er, Burberry. 

Jessie is lovely but this is a disaster. Whoever is responsible for the hair and makeup needs a slap, a P45 and another slap. And that is before we get to the horrible sweater, the horse-blanket skirt and the under-trewsies. If Kevin the Teenager fancied himself as a fashionista, this is what he would look like.

For the rest of our featured fuck-ups, we are at the Vogue party which kicked off LFW, where we encounter actor Damian Lewis and his new partner, singer Alison Mosshart.  Damian is wearing Valentino.

Alison looks fine. Damian, however, resembles a banana dressed as James Bond.

Next up, we have model Saffron Vadher wearing Miu Miu.

She is wearing knickers. Gold sparkling knickers. Like that bloke with the sixpack from The Rocky Horror Show. Knickers are not trousers. Not even at all.

This is actor Jodie Turner-Smith wearing Viktor & Rolf.

More knickers. This time, they are teamed with a massive bow as if Jodie has wrapped herself up as a birthday gift in opera gloves.

Here is actor Sienna Miller wearing Schiaparelli. She is pregnant, by the way. Who knew?

Look, a bump is fine. Pregnant women have bumps. But there is no need to dress the bump and its surrounding personage from the inside of the washing machine – before it was turned on.

And finally, we have actor Ncuti Gatwa wearing Burc Akyol and Louboutin bootees.

Those trousers could best be described as ‘snug’ and WTF does not like the way that they are circling around the ankles looking for a place to land. But she would have been willing to let that go, were it not for the green ooze emanating from his waistband, as if Ncuti had mated with the Slime Monster.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who has enough of the trendy buzzwords without meaning which are now de rigeur. The one driving WTF particularly bonkers at the moment is ‘curated’.Curated’ holidays. ‘Curated’ experiences. She got invited to join a dining scheme with ‘curated rewards’. Not to mention menus boasting ‘curated’ cheese plates. It’s all complete bollocks.

Art exhibitions are curated. Holidays, experiences, rewards and cheese plates are assembled, hopefully for the delectation of the customer. Stop it. File it under ‘never again’ along with ‘being on a journey’, ‘community’ and ‘immersive’. And don’t let WTF catch you doing it again.…..

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x 





Posted in Boris Johnson, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Liz Truss, London Fashion Week, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Choice Special

Hallo Readers,

 In November 2024, the American people will vote to select the person, most probably male, who will be sworn in as president on January 20 2025. And the choice, if such it can be called, will be between former president Donald Trump, 77, currently facing 91 counts for being a lying shyster and trashing the Constitution, and current president Joe Biden, 80, whose son has just been indicted for the rather more minor crimes of owning a gun for 11 days which he purchased after filling in a licence form in which he denied he was a drug user, despite being hopelessly addicted to crack. Oh and he will likely be done for late tax returns. The general view of the majority of electorate seems to be that they do not want either Trump or Biden on various grounds including their age, a suspicion that both of them are well past it, and that one or other of them, depending on your political affiliations, is dodgy as fuck.

Trump was of course impeached twice, once for trying to strong-arm President Zelenskyy into dishing the dirt on Biden père et fils as a quid pro quo for some missiles to defend Ukraine  against invasion from Russia, and then for instigating the insurrection on January 6 2021. In both cases he was predictably acquitted by a Republican Senate. And now he will be forced to spend more time in court than the combined casts of The Good Wife, Ally McBeal, Suits and Perry Mason, smack in the middle of campaigning. To even up the score, Republicans have been investigating Biden and his family for alleged corruption and keep babbling on about the Biden crime family.The problem with this is that although Hunter Biden, despite being a crackhead with no business experience, was busy clearly cashing in on his father’s name and earning vast sums of money in Ukraine and elsewhere, plus having lots of sleazy sex, there is not a shred of hard evidence that his father received so much as a dollar.  However, Kentucky moron Rep. James Comer and loudmouth lunatic Rep. Jim Jordan, (their combined I.Q. in single figures) do not intend to let facts stand in the way of a good story, and now Leader of the House, hapless Kevin McCarthy, perambulating proof that you do not need vertebra to be in public life, has been pressurised, on pain of losing his job, into ordering an impeachment inquiry into Biden despite the absence of anything that could loosely be described as evidence. Not that it matters, because it seems that a large number of Americans now believe that Biden has done something wrong, not that they know exactly what. Meanwhile the Three Stooges (prop. Donald J Trump) are untroubled by the millions trousered by Trump’s daughter Nepotism Barbie and her Ken lookalikey husband when they were acting as White House advisers, not to mention the $2 billion the Ken lookalikey was handed by the Saudis on leaving office.

So whatever lies ahead is an unappetising prospect. Trump is a crook whose only agenda seems to be to stay out of gaol. Biden, only three years older than Trump, has, to quote WTF ‘s late mother, ‘gone old’ and looks and sounds like Methuselah are on a bad day. Both of them are prone to gaffes and periods of inconsequential rambling. In an ideal world you would have neither. But if this is to be the choice, there is no choice at all because one of them, as all of his actions have shown since losing the 2020 election, does not believe in democracy and one of them does. And it really is that simple.


We start out review of the week’s woeful wear with Madonna’s daughter, ‘model and singer’ Lourdes Leon at the Victoria Secret’s Party in NYC.

Lourdes is one of the celebrity-offspring who pop up in public by virtue of being the product of a famous someone’s womb or sperm, or sometimes both. WTF can think of no other reason why she is invited anywhere and yet here she is dressed in a cobweb and a pair of panties. Just. Go. Away.

Still in New York we pop into Paris Fashion Week where we encounter Broadway star Harvey Guillén wearing Christian Siriano.

Harvey is what our Australian friends would call a big unit, and to be frank, WTF is not sure whether a sheer top is appropriate. As for the cloak, he looks like Calaf ready to belt out Nessun Dorma in Turandot.

More Fashion Week Front Row foolishness on actor Kate Beckinsale wearing Bach Mai.

Kate is wearing her gym kit and the full windows from the salon of a Victorian brothel. And something very weird is happening in the tits area.

We are briefly back in Blighty where we find presenter former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts off to a wedding wearing Christopher Kane with Sophia Webster sandals.

Do not adjust your eyeballs. This is really happening. She has bank-robber mask tits, which are downright disturbing…

Although the tits are not nearly as disturbing as the little perspex belts round her midriff. Christopher Kane has spent too much time looking at pictures of macho toss-pot Andrew Tate…..

The rest of the week’s nonsense comes from the Video Music Awards (VMAs) in Newark, New Jersey where a number of ladies paraded their bits on the Pink Carpet. The men are all covered up or in. manky jeans. The women are a different matter. Note – THIS IS 2023. FFS!! WHY IS ThIS STILL HAPPENING?? Let us begin with rapper Doeschii here wearing not very much at all by DSquared2.

Doechii is giving us buckets of tit and a number of dead snakes masquerading as a dress complete with a built-in pussy pelmet. There is more material in the hat.

Next up we have TV host and singer Justina Valentine wearing Amekana Boutique.

If Herry Monster from the Muppets went to a fancy dress party as a fanny flower, this is what he would look like.


It gets worse. This is rapper Yung Miami, girlfriend of P Diddy, wearing Han Kjøbenhavn. Mind how you go with this one…..

MINGE!!!!! MASSES AND MASSES OF MINGE!!!!!! And WTF is not going there but if you enlarge the picture, you will something peeking out which should not be peeking out, not even at all. Yurgle. And why you would even want your Minge tattooed? Double Yurgle.

Finally, if you though Julia Fox was bad last week, look at singer Tinashe, wearing Stella McCartney.

This, Readers, is what now passes for fashion. Pass the sick bucket. A sparkling fishing net over two X-Marks-the-Spot nipple pasties and a snatch square like Hitler’s moustache. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x 

Posted in America, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Hunter Biden, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Joe Biden, Politics, Uncategorized, VMAs, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Tits on A Fish Special

Hallo Readers,

WTF, the daughter of a Russian mother (albeit born in Romania, now Moldova, with a Ukrainian father), was brought up to like Chekhov. The Cherry Orchard features a character called Epihodov who is distinctly accident prone and nicknamed Two and Twenty Misfortunes. They’re always staging The Cherry Orchard or The Seagull  rather than WTF ‘s favourites Uncle Vanya or The Three Sisters, but the next time someone plans to stage The Cherry Orchard, and decides to make it ‘relevant’, they could do a lot worse than to set it in the 21st century UK with Rishi Sunak as Epihodov. Although to be fair, any one of his hapless cabinet colleagues could play the role. Things have been going badly wrong of late for Sunak’s government, but this last few weeks have stunk worse than the stinkiest skunk with hygiene issues. First we had Nadine Dorries resigning with immediate effect, and then hanging around like a bad smell for seven weeks befire actually going. Then we had the revelation, only days before the Nation’s kiddies were due to resume their education on Monday that many school buildings from the 1960s and 1970s were on the verge of collapse so that some angelic seven year old could be taken out at any time by collapsing concrete while reciting her 10 times table. Things got even more dire when it turned out it had been Sunak himself, when Secretary of the Treasury, who had vetoed expenditure to put all dodgy school buildings right, and then more dire than that when Scouse Secretary of State for Education,  Gillian Keegan, doing the media rounds to explain the cockup, forgot to remove her mic before suggesting that people should in fact be ‘fucking thanking her for acting when others had been sitting on their arse’. You can take the girl out of Liverpool but you cannot take Liverpool out of the girl… she actually thinks she is entitled to be thanked 

The Government was still reeling from that disaster when alleged terrorist and high security prisoner, Daniel Khalife, escaped from Wandsworth Prison while on kitchen duty, allegedly by clinging onto the underside of a bin lorry. And it is of course worth pointing out that Wandsworth is not a high security prison and has a shocking record of cockups various and that working in a kitchen where people go in and out, and where there are knives and other such lying around, may not be the most appropriate venue for someone suspected of threatening the well-being of the United Kingdom. Sunak defended these lapses by pointing out that the last Labour Government had 10 times more prison escapees, although what this has to do with the price of fish is unclear.

 What fresh horrors await this week? It hardly bears thinking about. The warm and sunny weather in these last days of summer may bring a smile to the long-suffering citizens of these Isles, but it cannot mask the fact that this Government is washed up, incompetent and as much use as tits on a fish. What a complete shower. Epihodov was known as Two and Twenty and Misfortunes. Sunak must be praying that he can keep the numbers that low. 


We start our review of the week’s atrocious attire with comedian Tom Allen at the National TV Awards in London. Scroll down slowly….

No.  Just No. Bare knees plus socks is never a good look, not even on border officials in tropical climes unless you are a baby and that is because babies are always mega cute. Like this one…..


Also there was singer Sam Ryder wearing a most remarkable ensemble…..

Sigh. He looks like a cheap duvet cover.

And finally from the NTAs we have Love Island‘s Maura Higgins wearing Khanum’s.

A great deal of groin and a pair of tits that have seen some interference with the workings of nature. 

Sorry but those tits are the most unreal tits WTF has seen for quite a while. WTF has spent some time this summer doing painting and decorating  and has found that the process of cutting in, i.e. where two colours meet in a corner, very hard to get a clean line. Maura’s surgeon clearly had the same problem. Those tits looks like some badly cut melons.

Yes it’s them again, appalling rapper Kanye West and wife (sort of) Bianca Censori still out and about in Florence wearing not enough.

Kanye has been banned for life from Venice boats after supposedly getting a blow job from Bianca while cruising around the Rialto, flashing his bare bum to stunned onlookers. That is a holiday snap they never anticipated…. this time it is not Bianca who is the worst dressed but Kanye who has put the contents of his sock drawer down his tights like Errol Flynn as Robin Hood.

To Venice for the Film Festival where we find singer Rita Ora wearing Stéphane Rolland.

This is a very ridiculous garment with a alien white thing that looks like the lovechild of a flapper and a yacht in full sail.

Plus of course the near-compulsory arse cheeks….

Still in Venice, we are at the Miu Miu Party were we encounter actor Emma Corrin.

Er… WHAT???

What is occurring? A cardie and tights under knitted knickers and some sort of white incontinence pants. Toddler wear. (Emma is 28).

And finally just when you thought actor Julia Fox could sink no lower, she can. And then some. And then some more….. CAREFUL NOW!!!

OK, at least she is not longer bothering to pretend she is covered up. This is a c**t coin. Just get your vulva out, love, and be done with it.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who was disgusted to see this play pillow on sale for £9 99.

A prick pillow. OMG. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Nadine Dorries, National TV Awards, Politics, Rishi Sunak, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Paella Special

Hallo Readers,

The old adage that the apple does not fall far from the tree was never more true than in the case sexist oaf Luis Rubiales, the man who thought it was perfectly fine to celebrate Spain’s winning the Women’s World Cup by grabbing his own royal box whilst in the actual Royal Box only feet away from Spain’s Queen Letizia  and her 16 year old daughter, Princess Sofia. Fortunately, our own Princess Charlotte was not present as her father, who holds the parallel position to Rubiales as President of the English Football Association, could not be arsed to make the flight to Sydney. Rubiales then famously compounded matters by taking a player’s head in both hands and kissing her smack on the lips. It should be remembered that Rubiales was at work at the time and the player in question, Jenni Hermoso, is one of his employees. When she later said that she had not consented to the kiss and did not like it, he rocked up at a meeting of the Spanish Football Association and, rather than tendering his resignation as had been expected, attacked ‘false feminism’, called Hermoso a liar and said that he would fight unto the death to retain his position. Whereupon the audience, 99% men, proffered a rapturous standing ovation, the sort of reception given to Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. The Spanish FA even threatened to sue Hermoso. However since that high watermark for male chauvinism, support for Rubiales has been ebbing away, FIFA has suspended him (the situation has got to be bad when FIFA ends up looking good) and many of those who had applauded him only days before now jumped on the bandwagon and said he had to go.

At which point, Rubiales’s mother, Angeles Behar, aged 72, decided to support her son by locking herself in her local church in Motril and going on hunger strike, telling a news conference that this would continue ‘indefinitely, day and night’ and that ‘the inhuman and bloody hunt that they are doing with my son is something he does not deserve’. All this while dressed in a yellow lace ensemble. WTF asked herself whether WTF mère would have stepped away from the foodstuffs in order to support her beloved daughter who had made a colossal fool of herself in front of hundreds of millions of people, and then doubled down whilst calling the victim of a clear sexual assault a liar, and concluded that this was unlikely, given maman’s love of toast thickly spread with butter, not to mention a steaming bowl of chicken soup with knaidlach. Clearly, Ms Behar has spent her life indulging her son and pandering to his every whim, which explains why he behaves like such a pig. Perhaps she believes that it is alright for the president of an organisation to snog his employees in public and that Hermoso, or indeed any woman, should have felt honoured to have been treated to Luis’s luscious lips. Sadly, after only two days of passing up on the paella, Ms Behar had a funny turn and was taken to hospital. Local priest Father Antonio told Reuters that she had not been feeling well because of the heat and everything else, had become extremely anxious, that her feet were swollen and that she was very tired. Happily, she was discharged the next day and is now back home and, one hopes, eating and drinking again as normal. With any luck, Rubiales’s tenure will soon be over and he and his mother can have dinner together whilst fondly reminiscing about the good old days when you could put your hands all over a woman with impunity.


We begin our review of the week’s abysmal attire with actor and singer Frankie Bridge out and about in London’s Shaftesbury Avenue wearing a denim skirt and a corset by Giuseppe di Morabito. And a dead rose around her neck.

There is new nonsense afoot -‘ stars’  appearing in West End Theatres have a little fashion show every night as they leave the stage door (Lily Allen is doing the same thing, but so far she looks good, if a little overdressed). Frankie’s absurd top (which costs £570) looks like what Batman would wear if he went to a fancy dress party as Ado Annie from Oklahoma!

Next up, we have model Hailey Bieber wearing Marc Jacobs while promoting her new lip gloss for her range Rhode.

There is short. And there is flashing your knickers. These are actually swaddling clothes as seen on the Infant Jesus in Bethlehem.

And this is Hailey’s hubby, Justin Bieber, out and about in Beverley Hills looking like a right knob.

There is probably a really good reason why Justin is wearing a baseball cap over a hoodie. A good reason other, that is,  than being a right knob. But WTF has no idea what that reason is. None whatsoever. He looks like Jemima Puddle-Duck in yellow crocs.

To Mexico for the Nickelodeon Awards and Chilean TikTok celebritee Ignacia Antonia wearing a most remarkable ensemble. 

A silk loincloth and tit cover over a lacy bodystocking with matching socks and follow-me-home-and-fuck-me shoes. Hideous.

And here is another influencer, Polish born Claudia Fijal attending the Babes in Toyland event in Las Vegas.

WTF does not know the gentleman with Claudia, but wishes to observe that he is a walking example of why you should keep your hands of your pockets when your trousers are too small. And she thinks that he is not wearing socks with his diamanté Louboutin loafers, but tattooed feet. As for Claudia, those tits are the runaway winner of this year’s Grant and Phil Mitchell award.

Here is singer Rita Ora arriving at the Venice Film Festival.

FFS! This is Venice in high summer not Vladivostok in deep winter. And what are those things on her feet? Even Daphne Guinness would up turn her perfectly retroussé nose at them. Rita looks like a polar bear precariously balanced on a couple of gift boxes.

And finally here is our old friend Megan Thee Stallion wearing not much. No change there….

A pair of massive knockers and a perfectly plucked pudendum. Luckily, she is wearing panties, for which relief much thanks. But just looking at her is giving WTF a headache, like a peepshow through gauze.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who was aghast to see the promotion of oleaginous mega-creep Grant Shapps to Secretary of State for Defence after the last incumbent, Ben Wallace, legged it. This is now the FIFTH Cabinet position Shapps has held in about five weeks. WTF is all for versatility, but this is ridiculous. No sooner has he unpacked his pencil case and arranged the photo of his wife and kiddies than he is off to a new office to unpack the pencil case and the photo all over again.

Shapps probably knows as much about Defence as WTF knows about nuclear fission. Last week, WTF’s rant said that Nadine Dorries should go with immediate effect, as per the advertised programme, and she resigned the next day. WTF is hoping for a similar success with the horrible little Shapps. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x 

Posted in Angeles Behar, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Football, Grant Shapps, Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards, Politics, Prince William, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Sinister Forces Special

Hallo Readers,

We return to the matter of Nadine Dorries MP.  Ten weeks after she resigned her seat ‘with immediate effect’, she remains the Dishonourable Member for Mid-Bedfordshire and raking in her salary of £86,584 plus the expenses of running her office (including the salary of one of her assistants, her own daughter) and tending to her constituents and first class travel. Except that as far as her constituents are concerned, she is not tending to them, not even at all. Indeed, she has not held a constituency surgery since March 2020, when we were all locked down because of Covid. Perhaps Dorries has not noticed that those restrictions have since ended.  But anyone in Mid-Bedfordshire wanting to pop in of a Saturday morning to talk to her about their problems cannot pop in because (i) there is no building for them to pop into and (ii) even if there were, which there is not, she would not be inside it. Her constituents are now so fed up that they have been putting up missing persons posters and have taken to referring to Dorries as a ‘dosser’. Which is unfair to dossers because at least you can see a dosser, whereas sightings of Dorries are now as rare as rocking horse shit. Unless of course you watch Friday Night with Nadine on Talk TV, or read her ghastly column in the Daily Mail. And she has been writing a book called  ‘The Plot: the Political Assassination of Boris Johnson’  which is coming out just before the Tory Conference on 1 October. It is apparently the story of  ‘treachery and deceit at the heart of the Westminster machine’,  for which Dorries pocketed £20,500 as an advance from HarperCollins. Frankly, she should be slung out of the Party so that she cannot hang around lobbies in the Conference centre in Manchester doing book signings. The only thing she should be signing is her application for the Chiltern Hundreds.

After ignoring the calls to resign with immediate effect, as per the advertised programme, and the torrent of criticism from constituents, local councillors, MPs various, including her Tory colleagues and even the Prime Minister, Dorries finally surfaced this week, sort of, by issuing a statement claiming that she was still ‘working daily as an MP’ and that ‘political opponents, such as Labour-run Flitwick town council are choosing the summer and news-hungry outlets in the summer recess to be noted’. WTF looks forward to any constituent  helped by her and her team to make himself or herself available for interview with the media, but does not intend to hold her breath or she will go a funny colour and expire. She says she will not actually go until she receives an explanation for her failure to get the peerage for which Johnson nominated her in his Resignation Honours List, which failure she attributes to ‘sinister forces’. The fact is that this wretched, ignorant, Johnson-besotted idiot is taking the piss, and, more importantly, is putting her hand deep into the public purse without doing the work for which that money is usually paid.  WTF suggests that if Dorries is concerned with deceit, as her book claims, she might look nearer to home, i.e. hers, because if drawing an MP’s salary while not acting as an MP does not constitute some sort of deceit, WTF does not know what does. Just go away.


We start our review of the week’s woeful wear with actor and reality person Katie Maloney out and about in LA.  Katie appears in some rubbish called The Vanderpump Rules.

If a trucker went to a fancy dress party as a pantomime boy, this is what he would look like.

Meet actor and singer Idina Menzel in New York to launch her new album wearing Ankvas.

That sweater is a very ridiculous garment. Either it was designed as a toddler’s Linus blanket or it has shrunk in the wash. Either way, it does not belong on the lovely Idina. Or, for that matter, on anyone.

Now we have TV personality Sharon Osbourne out and about wearing an unfortunate combination of her fifth (and, she says, final) facelift and a course of the weight-loss drug, Ozempic, which caused  her to suffer a severe reaction and throw her guts up.  WTF has the same urge but for different reasons.

No!!!!  NO!!!!! NO!!!!! What the actual fuck is going on here???? Sharon, you are 70 years’ old. If you want to lose weight, eat less and exercise more. Leave Ozempic to the Type 2 diabetics for whom it was intended. And sue your plastic surgeon.

Still in LA, we encounter actor and singer Billy Porter at the Debbie Allen “Remember My Name” Ball, wearing something or other and hideous Rick Owens boots.

For reasons best known to himself, Billy looks like the lovechild of Jesus Christ and a flamenco dancer and the effect is not at all pleasing.

To Amman the capital of Jordan, where we find Princess Beatrice at the wedding of Crown Prince Hussein and Rajwa Al Saif wearing Reem Accra.

The saddest thing about this dress, apart from the £2,650 price tag, is that two Royal personages thought it was a good idea to wear it – not just Princess Beatrice but also Princess Aisha, the bridegroom’s aunt. Fortunately Princess A wore it at the religious ceremony in the afternoon, while Princess B wore it to the evening bash. WTF dislikes the dress not just because of the sickly colour, like a diseased calf, but because of the tit shopping bags.

Finally, they’re back again! WTF speaks of rapper and entrepreneur Kanye West and his sort-of-wife Bianca Censori, who are still out and about in Florence. Last week, we saw a fully clothed Kanye and a barely clothed, arse-baring Bianca out for gelato. Various Italian persons objected vociferously to Bianca’s near-nakedness, coram publico,  but rather than cover up she is now attired, if that is the mot juste, which it obviously is not, in even less. WARNING!! THIS IS BAD.

And here is the front.

Kanye looks like he is about to rob a bank while his wife, or whatever her status may be, is showing us her all, and then some, and then a lot more than that, in what basically appears to be pair of pantyhose and then some more pantyhose worn as a top. Lady Godiva lives. Put it away love, for Gawd’s sake……

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who has brought these revolting door knockers to WTF’s attention. They are from Groupon and reduced from £49 99 to £9 99.

Why would you ask your guest to finger a pair of bollocks in order to gain admission to your house? Get a Ring doorbell. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

Posted in Boris Johnson, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Coronavirus, Covid, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Nadine Dorries, Politics, Rishi Sunak, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Cancel Special


WTF likes to think of herself as a liberal. Her credentials are impeccable. She lives in Islington. She supports the same football team as the Leader of the Opposition. She is in favour of the Human Rights Act,  nationalising the utilities and the train companies, and reforming the House of Lords. But try as she may, she cannot get to grips with the concept of Jewface. And she is Jewish. This week, there was another storm about a non Jewish actor playing Jews. Dame Maureen Lipman objected to Dame Helen Mirren playing Golda Meir, Jews various protested at Cillian Murphy playing Robert Oppenheimer and now we are supposed to be all of a flutter about Bradley Cooper playing Leonard Bernstein, complete with a prosthetic nose.

Now there are two parts to this argument. The first is whether anyone should wear a prosthetic nose when playing a Jew, because it enhances the stereotype of the hook nosed, greasy- faced figure beloved by anti-semites everywhere across the ages. As it happens, some Jews have big noses and some don’t. As far as WTF can tell, Bernstein did not have a particularly large nose and the prop seems unnecessary. Or they could have just found another actor with a bigger nose, not that that would have happened given that Cooper is also the director. But the second question is why should only Jewish actors be allowed to play Jews? Does this also mean that Jewish actors cannot play Christians? How far does this go? Are only gay actors allowed to play gays? Are only Catholic actors allowed to play Catholics? Are only Muslims actors allowed to play Muslims and only Hindu actors allowed to play Hindus? Are only trans actors allowed to play trans people? What happened to acting? And this is not the same as blackface, both because of the history of the treatment of people of colour and the need to further opportunities. Extension of opportunity may also apply to disabled actors. But to object to all actors who do not share the characteristics of the people they are playing is simply silly. And precious. And actually rather embarrassing.  It seems that we have become very small and insular as a society and frankly WTF is finding it tiresome.

 And whilst we’re on the subject, cancelling performers on the grounds of their gender critical views is equally obnoxious. This is what has happened to Graham Linehan at the Edinburgh Festival. If you don’t want to see the guy, don’t bloody go. But don’t stop others going who do want to see him. It’s called free speech. It’s called the right to hold views that may be different to your own. The fear of offending others should not be a reason to deny freedom of speech.


We start our review of the week’s abysmal attire with motor racing driver Sir Lewis Hamilton wearing Versace in Barcelona.

Not just Versace. £1,940 worth of Versace. Which is a lot of money to pay to look like a perambulating lime soda.

Now to  Variety’s Young Hollywood where we meet singer Leah Kate wearing something frightful. 

That ‘skirt’ is ridiculous. If Cleopatra went to a fancy-dress party as a Minge Moment, this is what she would look like. because that is what the skirt looks like. There is groin a-g0-go and her tits come with their own sleeping mask.

And welcome to Stupid Footwear Week where two people who should have known better, starting with DJ and singer Diplo wearing an outfit by Knicks and boots by MSCHF.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE BOOTS???? They could not look any more ridiculous. Why is he trying to emulate Paddington Bear? I mean, it’s not very cool, is it?

And if you thought that was ridiculous, say hello to singer and designer Victoria Beckham wearing even more stupid boots. And they cost $450.

As if a pair of Crocs had had sex with an Emmental cheese. 

We encounter Kanye West and his sort-of-wife Bianca Censori out and about in Florence.

It was about 100 degrees in Florence last week so why Kanye is wrapped up like a parcel, WTF cannot say. Bianca, on the other hand, is very unwrapped. The skirt looks like a cardboard toilet roll tube about to slip south and the top does not look like a top because it is not a top, not even at all, and is basically no more than a gauzy nipple holder. 

And what the hell is that The Handmaid’s Tale head covering?

Finally,we have heavily pregnant Kourtney Kardashian, newly Mrs Travis Smith, wearing Laquan Smith. Not that ‘wearing’ is the appropriate sword…..

Rihanna had a lot to answer for. She was the one who started flashing her bump all over the place. Kourtney has gone one better, or should that be worse, by adding a double side order of groin and using the belt of the jacket as a Minge Mask. The jacket itself seems to have been designed for a bump-bearing orangutang in silver stilettos.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Sue Peters who objects and with every justification, to these hideous Halloween – style sandals. They are by Temu and they cost £9 99, which is £9 98 too much.

Frankly, you would be better off buying a pumpkin,  carving the sandals and eating the pumpkin. And you would have about £8 left over as well. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

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WTF F Off Back To France Special

Hallo Readers,

Time was when a leading politician who told asylum seekers who objected to being housed in a floating barge to  ‘fuck off back to France if they don’t like it’ would have been disciplined by his party and sacked from any office that he might hold before you could say Debrett’s New Guide to Etiquette and Manners. But that was then and this is now, the era of social media and Donald Trump, when you can say and do what you like with impunity, unconstrained by any requirements of moderation, decency and good old fashioned manners. After all, in 2016, the American public voted in a loudmouth, orange-faced oaf as President, a man who publicly mocked the disabled, insulted the appearance of his opponents’ wives, offered to pay the legal expenses of anyone at his rallies who knocked the hell out of hecklers and boasted about grabbing women by the pussy. He might even get voted in again in 2024. Trump made it OK to be vile, racist and ignorant, appealing to the lowest instincts in his audiences and encouraging them to let those instincts flourish.

And so it is that the deputy chair of the Conservative party, Lee Anderson aka 30 p Lee, made the remarks set out above in an interview to the Daily Express, a paper which somehow still sails on the choppy seas of journalism, railing against Remoaners, Immigrants, Human Rights, Lefties and Wokeism. Anderson ticks every box for that readership. He used to be a Labour councillor in a Red Wall constituency, but crossed over to the other side like the Israelites forging through the Red Sea to escape the Egyptians (with a little help from God). He is a rampant Brexiteer. He is loud, louche, thick and feral. Rishi Sunak picked him for deputy chair because of those qualities, not in spite of them, believing Anderson, a former coal miner who romped to victory in Ashfield, Nottinghamshire, a seat that had been Labour since Keir Hardie started wearing long trousers, would appeal to lots of people like him. And sadly, he was right because he does. Anderson is the prole sent into the trenches by the toffs to do the dirty work and take the flak while the public-school-educated leaders of the party, including, Heaven help us, the Lord Chancellor, egg him on from the officers’ mess while affecting to maintain propriety in their own conduct.  If he comes back in one piece with all his limbs still attached, they may stand him a drink  – a pint of course – and clap him on the shoulders. Alex Chalk, the aforementioned Lord Chancellor and Justice Minister, described Anderson’s language as ‘salty’ and attributed it to his ‘righteous indignation’ at the torrent of illegal immigrants pouring in, although asylum seekers are not illegal immigrants. Chalk knows that. Sunak knows that. But they carry on lying because it is their best – perhaps their only – chance of winning the next general election. They wouldn’t have Anderson in their own homes but he is a very useful idiot to send over the top, and over the top is what Anderson does best.


We start our review of the week’s wanky wear with singer Sam Smith out and about with a pal, wearing a vest, a pleated skirt and desert boots.

Memo to Sam. This is so not your look. In fact, this is not anyone’s look unless they are playing tennis. Stick to making a racket, not a racquet. Yurgle.

Next up we have Instagram star and sister to the Hadid model girls, Alana Hadid, at her 40th birthday party in Los Angeles wearing Bronx and Banco.

The theme of the party was Roman togas, but Alana seems to have modelled herself less on I Claudius and more on Up Pompeii. The gold winged sandals are hideous beyond belief.

Next up, we have Olympic gold medalist swimmer Tom Daley wearing J W Anderson at the Rimmel summer bash in London. (Rimmel make makeup). Tom was there in his capacity as a Rimmel Global Ambassador, whatever the hell that is.

Tom is 29 so it unclear to WTF why he is dressed as a toddler in a bunny baby-grow and combat boots, as if a four year old had signed up for military service and yomped into Central London.

And now to Toronto and actor Julia Fox at the premiere of the movie Something you Said Last Night, for which which she was Executive Producer.

Following a brief flirtation with being fully clothed, Julia has returned to her usual style, if that is the word I am looking for, which evidently it is not. On this occasion, she is dressed in the torso equivalent of a robber’s mask with tit tassels through the eyeholes and a double helping of groin, while her skirt seems to have been caught in the door of the getaway car to deleterious effect.

Now we go to one of WTF’s favourite events of the years, the ESPYs (Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly). You always get some very bad suits here, and here is one such on mega-lanky basketball player Jonathan Kuminga wearing Latouché.

Jonathan is 6’7″ which means that an awful lot of check fabric was required for this suit, which appears to have its own built-in parachute harness. If Mr Toad went to a fancy dress party as Felix Baumgartner, this is what he would look like.

Jonathan was however the height (geddit?) of elegance compared with Buffalo Bills’ football star Dion Dawkins, wearing Gentleman’s Playbook.

It was apparently very warm in Los Angeles on the night of the ESPYs but wearing your own tattooed chest as a teeshirt is just not on. Especially with that degree of spilth over the trousers. And speaking of the trousers, WTF is compelled to observe that something has gone horrible awry with the worst case of elephant vagina syndrome she has seen in quite a while.

Finally, we have Dr Who and Barbie actor Ncuti Gatwa wearing Valentino at yet another Barbie premiere.

Even a member of Village People would have declined to go out dressed like this, and with good reason, teaming a cowboy hat, pool boy shorts and a niqab worn as a peekaboo cloak. Just go away.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Anna from Brixton who has taken against these foul Alaia boots which are faux-stilettos, yours for only £1100.

Anna objects both to the extreme ugliness of this footwear and to the ludicrous price. She is not wrong. She also wonders why anyone would pay so much to look as if they have cankles and cellulite. Again, she is not wrong,  It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  It’s good to be back. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

Posted in asylum, Donald Trump, ESPYs, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Immigration, Lee Anderson, Politics, refugees, Rishi Sunak, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Carry On Special

Hallo Readers,

WTF is demob happy – she is off on holiday to France (rioters permitting) and then to Cornwall and so you are being given time off for good behaviour. She will be back on 11 August, although you lot will probably will be on your holidays then. Never mind. Let us get on with the rant…..

Is it too much to ask that the people making our laws, whose salary we pay, can actually observe those laws and behave in a decent way? Answer – yes. If recent reports and events are anything to go by, the House of Commons seems to be packed to the rafters with priapic, pissed Members who have not yet grasped that droit de seigneur is no longer an actual thing, and that grabbing people’s private bits and pieces, making highly sexualized remarks and inviting them to sit on their laps is not only impermissible but is also sexual assault, which is a crime, and sexual harassment, which is a civil wrong. And so, despite at least two reports by prominent legal persons into the goings-on in the House, bringing promises of change which never materialised, it still remains a 21st Century mashup of Carry on Groping meets Life On Mars. Alth0ugh even Gene Hunt would be appalled at this lot.

 This week it is Chris Pincher MP who is most likely heading for the exit after the Commons Standards Committee, or should that be the Lack of Standards Committee, found that he had assaulted two young men at the Carlton Club. The Carlton Club is a Private Members Club for Tories in the heart of Piccadilly. Only in Pincher’s case, he did not regard other people’s members as private. Drunk as a skunk, he touched one man on his arm and neck before groping his bottom before turning his attentions to a second man, touching his bottom and then his testicles. When the story broke last year, Pincher accepted that he had been drunk and had acted inappropriately. He announced that he would seek medical professional help, which presumably involved applying swathes of blotting paper to his liver. He resigned as the Government Chief Whip. Pincher’s proclivities came as a surprise to absolutely no one who knew him, including Boris Johnson, although the then Prime Minister, true to form, attempted to claim that he had known nothing about anything. No of course he had.  At which point, nearly all of Johnson’s ministers spat the dummy and ran away screaming, resulting in the brief and ghastly tenure of Liz Truss. Pincher’s defence, insofar as it could be called a defence at all, was that he had brought himself into disrepute, but not Parliament, the charge he was being forced to answer.  Needless to say this argument fell at the first hurdle and the Committee recommended an eight- week suspension which automatically triggers the right of his constituents to demand a by-election. If Pincher had any decency, which he obviously does not, he would resign, and then nobody would have to bother about him ever again, including the good people of Tamworth whom he is supposed to represent. But as we have discovered over and over again, this lot do not do shame. If MPs cannot set us an example of how to behave, what on earth is the point of them?


We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam with French actor Pom Klementieff publicising Mission Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part 1 down under in Australia.

If a bunch of tags wore socks and stilettos and went on a promotional tour, this is what it would look like. The Sydney Opera House is, as ever, spectacular.

To one of WTF’s favourite events of the year, the BET (Black Entertainment TV) Awards where we find rapper Ice Spice wearing Dolce & Gabbana. 

That is a LOT is visible groin and upper thigh, all highlighted by some ‘this way to my minge’ arrows. And there is a more serious complaint  – it (the dress, NOT Ice Spice) is really, really, dog ugly. 

And at the same event, here is actor Ari Fletcher wearing (??) The Attico.

Like an suspended, inverted Ace of Clubs with a tit bolero. Yurgle.

Next we go to Paris Fashion Week where we discover Belgian-Egyptian singer Tamino wearing Dior at the Dior show.

WTF is not against a man in a skirt – how could she be, given her love of all things Scottish? (except Frankie Boyle) – but she IS against half and half, particularly when it is as raggedy as this concoction with the shrunken trewsies  and the dull, clompy boots. All he needs is a top hat and a net. What is this recent outbreak of Child Catcher fashion?

More Dior with actor Araya A Hargate.

Was the intended effect to make her look like an old lady swathed in faded lace? Or in mouldy antimacassars? The attempted jauntiness of the beret does not detract from the fact that this is both ageing and unflattering.

Still in Paris, we have singer/songwriter Camila Cabello wearing Stephane Rolland.

Camila had nothing to wear and so tore the pelmet and curtains down from the windows of her hotel suite and ventured out of doors…….

More white, this time on rapper Cardi B in Belanciaga.

Why is Cardi B dressed up as a fluffy white bird? Answers please…..

And this is actor Maisie Williams wearing Iris van Herpen.

WTF read an article recently on how the poo emoji was now popping up on restaurant menus and now it appears to be popping up on dresses as well.



AND NOW …………





Sam was neck and neck with titsy twins Shannon and Shenade Clermont but just edged them out. Julia Fox was a very creditable third. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Stephen from Brighton (with WTF in most fervent agreement), who is perplexed and bewildered at the concept of anyone finding the Tour de France interesting at all, let alone on TV.

One can understand why les citoyens français might want to venture outside and watch the competitors cycle past their town. I mean, when the riots were on last weekend, it would have been sensible to get away from an urban conurbation for a while while simultaneously getting a lungful or two of air not rich in kerosene. But sitting there in front of the TV for hours on end watching a load of lycra-clad lads pedalling away when they all look the bloody same – why? WHY? It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again in two weeks time on Friday 11 August 2023. Be good x

Posted in BET Awards, Boris Johnson, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chris Pincher, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, General Election, Paris Fashion Week, Politics, sexism, Sleaze, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


Hallo Readers

Honesty compels WTF to admit that there was an outbreak of premature ejaculation with the Summer Stinker Poll  on Thursday, and so it’s back today with the sarky comments and instructions as to how to vote.

First the rant. 

So welcome to another addition of this was ours now it’s theirs. This time, water. Which is necessary for the survival of the species on the planet. Water  used to be state-owned and you paid a reasonable fee to get it gurgling through your taps. But that was then when the state owning basic utilities was not seen as the moral equivalent of kicking cats. Then Mrs Thatcher came in and decreed that the state was bound to honour the bit in the unwritten Constitution which gives hedge funds, offshore billionaires and foreign corporations the inalienable right to acquire what used to be ours and make it theirs, and then to rip us off royally for the privilege of using something that used to be ours, only now it’s theirs and it comes with worse service and at twice the price.

It gets worse. Because not only are we paying for a worse service at twice the price, but the water companies have not been using their fat profits that we’ve been paying to use what are used to be ours, but now is theirs, to improve infrastructure and offer better, cleaner, water. Don’t be silly. They have been putting those profits to much better use, to whit paying their executives enormous salaries, copperbottomed pensions and benefits various, and they’ve also been paying their shareholders enormous dividends to thank them for allowing them to pay their executives enormous salaries. And as a result there is not a lot of money left over to make sure that the water pipes are copperbottomed and do not leak and that the reservoirs are clean and topped up and there is somewhere else to put the sewage other than into the sea or rivers next to our nicest beaches and sunbathing spots where people go swimming. And so companies that had no debt are now laden with debt because the profits didn’t quite cover the degree of enormousness which the water companies thought right to lavish upon their executives and their shareholders.

Who knew that getting into massive debt and not improving the infrastructure would lead to trouble? Answer – everyone with three brain cells. Which is two more than the captains of industry seem to have had. So now someone must fork out billions of pounds to carry out vital repairs because the pipes are as leaky as leaky could be and wholly unfit for purpose. And you can bet that the someone forking out will be us, the taxpayers. For something that used to be ours. Thames Water is £14 billion in debt and the chief executive resigned this week as the full horror story emerged. Where the hell did all the money go? And what about Ofwat, or Oftwat as it should be more properly called, which is supposed to regulate the water authorities? It has been as much use as tits on a fish. Get utilities back into public ownership. Right now.

And now we can turn to the fabled Summer Stinker Poll. 18 truly hideous examples of hideousness await your selection. You can vote for as many of them as you like as often as you like and you need not worry about single transferable vote and all that malarkey. Just go to the bit at the end entitled who is the WTF summer stinker of 2023 and put your mark against the ones that make you feel the worst. Scroll down the names until you get to the one you want to choose. Or the ones.  And you can leave unpleasant comments to go with your comments. So off we go.

1. Alton Mason, model, at the Met Gala.

The bride… of Dracula. What the actual fuck… Any bridegroom would leg it from the altar at the sight of Alton homing into view.

2. Ashnikko, singer, at the Brit Awards.

The woman is covered in pustules and wearing a condom with vertiginous high heels. She looks miserable as sin. Who can blame her? She should be in the isolation ward of the hospital for tropical diseases, not trotting around the Brits.

3. Dawn Ritz, costume designer, at the Costume Designer Fashion Awards (CDFA).

Dawn was making a point name of the costume designers are important for stage and screen. But the problem is that she’s showing us all of her points, as well as many other things that we would rather not see, including stockings like Nora Batty.

5. Dencia, singer, at the Grammys. 

Dencia exists principally to wear ridiculous clothes at music awards and she came well up, or should that be down, it’s a standard here in this frightful, get up that made to look like a black beetle with her head in a geode .

5. Devery Jacobs, actor,  at the Critics’ Choice Awards.

There is novel. And there is a nightmare. Guess which one this is? WTF has never seen overalls over a dinner jacket and bovver boots before and she hopes never have to to see it again.

6. Harry Styles, singer, at the Grammys.

A chested, tattooed Harlequin with white shoes. No. NO.

7. Jared Leto, actor.

It’s a badger in a wig went to a fancy dress party as Merlin, this is what he would look like.

8. Jennifer Lopez, singer, outside TV Studios in New York.

Jennifer is a very good looking woman, but even she cannot pull off looking like an extra from The Lion King.

9. Julia Fox, actor, at Paris Fashion Week.

Julia bolted out of nowhere to become a major star in this blog because nearly everything she wears is jawdroppingly awful with lots of bits and pieces on display. But this was particularly bad, a cropped, leather jacket, bikini bottoms, and a pair of bears legs. A very large, hairy, black bear.

10. Lainey Wilson, singer, at the Academy of County Music Awards.

This is simultaneously, voluminous and clingy. How does that even happen? Meanwhile, whichever auntie owned those curtains before Lainey nicked them should thank the Lord they’ve gone.

11. Lil Nas X, singer, at the Met Gala.

He has the entire contents of his sock drawer down his posing pouch, has more holes in the colander, he’s wearing stupid boots and he has been sprayed silver. How could he  not be in here?

12. Meg Stalter, actor and comedian, at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Meg is a comedian which explains why she is wearing a giant incontinence pad held in place by a chain belt and very ugly knee length, black pantyhose.

13. Phillip Sallon, poet, at  Vivienne Westwood’s funeral.

14. Philip was so clearly overcome with grief at the prospect of attending the funeral that he was blinded by tears when he opened his wardrobe and took out a beefeater outfit rather than a suit. How that explains the boxing gloves, WTF cannot say.

15. Sam Smith, singer, at the Brit Awards.

He looks like a blackened spatchcock chicken. That is all that needs to be said.

16. Shania Twain, singer, at the Grammys.

She is a prat in a hat. And dressed as a pantomime cow.

16. Shannon and Shenade Clermont, internet persons. They are counted as one as (i) they are twins and (ii) they are wearing the same thing.

Here are a pair of palomino ponies, complete with minge moments and tits that are, and WTF has to be frank here, improbable.

17. Will Young, singer, at Vivienne Westwood’s funeral.

Will attended the obsequies dressed as the Sistine chapel with Dennis the Menace socks. Who knows why?

And finally

18. Ysolde, singer, at the Cannes Film Festival.

Why is her head poking out of a rose’s arse? And why is she wearing a bodice at least two sizes too small? I mean it’s just weird.

Alright Readers – GET VOTING. The results will be announced next Friday. Be good!!xx 


Results next week
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WTF Demob Unhappy Special

Hallo Readers,

Next week you have the chance to vote in the fabled WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2023, and it is a real treat of terrible toot. But first we must consider this week’s hot topic.

In last week’s It’s Got to Go, (it appears at the end of the blog after the fashion, I think some of you miss out on it) WTF, on behalf of all sentient beings, nominated Nadine Dorries MP. As you may recall, having failed to get her long- predicted peerage in Boris Johnson’s Resignation Dishonours List for services to sycophancy, Dorries announced that she was resigning her seat with immediate effect, which would have caused a by-election. Except that by last week she had not gone and she still has not gone this week and, it appears, she has absolutely no intention of going until she receives an explanation for her omission from the ermine. As a result, she continues to earn her MP’s salary, and the pension and benefits that go with it, doing bugger all for her constituents of Mid Bedfordshire while holding down two other jobs; a piss-poor chat show on Talk TV, proprietor Rupert Murdoch Esq, and a piss-poor column in the Daily Mail, proprietor the 4th Viscount Rothermere, who champions British values while living abroad for tax reasons. She has not spoken in the House of Commons for nearly a year and voted only six times. So although she has not resigned, would anyone actually notice? Had she been elevated to the House of Lords, at least she would have had to turn up, as you have to sign in before earning your £350 daily allowance for attending, even though you can turn around and go straight out again. Although you might want to stop and have a splendid, heavily subsidised, lunch first.

WTF has been wondering how many other MPs are raking it in in similar manner. When one looks at pictures of the Commons Chamber, it is usually virtually empty, a few people lounging around on the green leather while someone drones on about something from the front bench. In recent times, Parliamentary business has sometimes finished by two or three o’clock in the afternoon. On Monday, when MPs debated whether to censure Boris Johnson for lying to the House, most Tory MPs did not even bother to turn up, let alone to vote. Brendan Clarke-Smith, a man with a brain the size of a hazelnut,  spent the previous week touring the television and radio studios descrying the treatment of his former boss and making a fool of himself in the process. But come the Monday and the vote, he was nowhere to be seen, preferring to watch England v Australia instead. Even the Prime Minister failed to turn up to vote on the motion, trotting out a variety of excuses each lamer than the last, including the fact that he did not wish to influence anyone (no danger there, Sunak has no influence whatsoever as far as WTF can see), that he was meeting the Swedish Prime Minister (all afternoon – yeah, right) and probably that he had an urgent meeting with the engineers concerning his heated swimming pool in his lavish constituency home in North Yorkshire. It seems that the majority of Tory MPs are afflicted by torpor, contemplating life after the next election and feeling thoroughly demob unhappy. Meanwhile we are subsidising them, their salaries, their expenses, their second homes, their second jobs and their food and drink. No one asked them to stand. But they did. And now it is time for them to show up or ship out. And particularly the MP for Mid Bedfordshire.


We begin our review of the week’s weird wear in Italy with Italian singer Mahood wearing Valentino.

If Kermit the frog went to a fancy dress party as a lifeboat operative, this is what he would look like. Meanwhile WTF hates socks with shorts almost above all things…..

Here is actor Nicola Coughlan of Derry Girls and Bridgerton fame wearing Mara Hoffman at a Netflix Tudum Global Event. Whatever that is…. 

Series 3 of Bridgerton is nearly upon us. This time it will centre on the will-they-won’t-they romance between Nicola’s character and one of the umpteen Bridgerton boys, no doubt with much rumpy pumpy involved. Nicola’s dress is nice enough but it is worn, for reasons not even a team of rocket scientists could fathom, even on overtime, with blue Marigold washing up gloves.

We are in Paris for the launch of the first collection from Louis Vuitton’s new menswear designer, Pharrell Williams. Yes, him. The one with the silly trousers and sillier hats. This is singer Maluma wearing one of Pharrell’s oeuvres.

It has Pharrell’s footprints all over it. He always did favour silly short trousers, avoiding anything that goes even near the ankle, and now Maluma has to strut about in them looking like a raggedy-arsed, pastel-hued urchin. WTF deplores the absence of a shirt or t-shirt and deplores still more the huge ornament hanging around his neck, like a doggy doorstop.

We are now in London for the opening of the re-vamped National Portrait Gallery where we find fashionista Alexa Chung wearing Nensi Dojaka.

Yurgle.  The bodice is a silhouette of Mickey Mouse’s ears and a large tit window worn with sparkly cycling shorts like Lily Savage taking up spin classes. Meanwhile, a hairbrush would have been useful.

We are in LA and the launch of Marvel’s Secret Invasion with TV journalist and former survivor of Survivor Lauren Ashley-Beck wearing…something. But what?

This dress is clearly inspired by those neon girly bar signs in the less salubrious parts of town with its embossed titties and ‘this-way-to-my minge’ arrow, which is frankly unnecessary. Not to mention unnerving.

And finally we are at the American Black Film Festival in Miami Beach where actor Taraji P Henson pitched up to support her friend, actor Gabrielle Union, at the premiere of The Perfect Find. Wearing this.

This dress was not the perfect find. It is good that Taraji wanted to support her friend but she also should have supported her titties rather than leaving it to nature, a bodystocking  and a pair of X-marks-the-spot nipple pasties. And she was not the only one clad in nylon because here is Gabrielle, wearing Burc Akyol. Mind how you go with this one….

This can be summed up as follows. There is not enough of what should be there, like opaque fabrics. And there are things that should not be there at all, for example, more this-way-to-my-minge triangles,only this time there are a pair of them and horizontal, and, puzzlingly, tied around the back as arse-cheek curtains.

And then there are even more curtains, this time white ones hanging off the top of Gabrielle like half-drapes in a café window.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Ben from Bromley, himself a father of two adorable kiddies, who is disturbed by the outbreak of septuagenarians and octogenarians fathering babies (Ben is barely into his 40s). Only last month, Robert de Niro, a sprightly 79, became a father for the seventh time while last week Al Pacino, 83, became a father for the fourth time. 

Ben is unimpressed, finding their fecundity selfish as they may not be around for long. WTF agrees and is reminded of the glorious exchange in When Harry Met Sally where Sally bemoans the fact that her biological clock is ticking whereas Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73, to which Harry replies ‘Yeah, but he was too old to pick ’em up’. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday for the fabled WTF Summer Stinker Poll. Be good x


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