WTF From Russia With Love Special

Hallo Readers,

As fans of Midsomer Murders can attest, living in an English idyll does not preclude murder and mayhem but no-one associated leafy Salisbury with attempted homicide until a fortnight ago, when a father and daughter were found in a bad way on a public bench, poisoned with Novichok, a Russian nerve gas developed decades earlier. The father and daughter were  Sergei Skripal, a former Russian spy turned double agent and now living in the UK and Yulia, who was visiting him from Moscow. They had wandered out on a Sunday afternoon for a drink and a spot of lunch and ended up in intensive care where they remain in critical condition. The police sergeant who found them, Sgt Nick Bailey, also fell seriously ill, but is recovering. A number of people were treated in hospital immediately after the incident and were discharged  but anyone who was in the pub or in the restaurant has been advised to wash their clothes and to isolate anything that cannot be washed, which is hardly encouraging. No one knows what the long term effects will be. 

The gas was developed in Russia, the victims were Russian and Russia has a grim history of murdering its political opponents, including here in the UK. In 2010, Vladimir Putin warned “traitors will kick the bucket, believe me. Those other folks betrayed their friends, their brother in arms…”. Not to mention the newsreader on Russian television who after the Skripal attack warned “traitors or those who simply hate their country in their free time, don’t choose Britain as a place to live. recent years there have been too many strange incidents with grave outcomes there.” Theresa May clearly believed that Russia was bang to rights. Most people do except Jeremy Corbyn, who is urging caution and finding himself accused of high treason as a result. Certainly, anyone could have manufactured the gas, as the instructions are available if you know where to look, and the way that the attack was carried out was sloppy. The Sun speculated that the attack had been lodged by Yulia’s ex boyfriend’s mother, which seems a trifle far-fetched. Russia has form and motive. Who else would have wanted one or other of the Skripals dead? 

May suddenly grew some balls and condemned Russia. Her reaction was more impressive than the Defence Secretary, pipsqueak Gavin Williamson, who told the Russians to go away and shut up. They must be quaking. Nor do they seem too crushed by our sanctions. 23 Embassy diplomats (i.e. spies) are to be expelled, Russian intelligence will be “degraded”, Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov’s invitation has been withdrawn and Prince William will not go to Russia to support England in the World Cup. And er, that’s it. Does anyone think that Putin is bothered by HRH’s no-show or that Lavrov will miss his chat with Boris Johnson? They will expel British diplomats (i.e. spies) and continue to deny all knowledge of what happened. 

The only way to hurt Russia would involve something more. Like persuading many other countries to boycott the World Cup – but why would they? Europe is hardly frienly at the moment. The South American countries are unlikely to care. Saudi Arabia and Iran are not exactly bastions of human rights. FIFA and the sponsors of this bloated corruption-fest will never let it happen. Or we could confiscate some of the Russian properties in London owned by the oligarchs who owe their success to Putin’s patronage. Neither will happen and so May can threaten all she likes. We are a little country.  We cannot hurt Russia. And so Russian traitors and passers-by will continue to be injured or killed in our green and pleasant land because there is damn all we can do about it.


We turn to more frivolous matters and our weekly sartorial survey of shame, starting with Madonna and Kim Kardashian giving a You Tube beauty seminar.

Beauty seminar? These two have hardly got an original working part between them and their faces are fuller of Botox than a convoy of lorries loaded with Botox leaving the Botox factory. And they are both wearing underwear as outerwear, although at least Madge is wearing a jacket.

We pop into the TRIC TV and Radio Awards in London where we encounter WAG and fledgling celebritee, Rebekah Vardy, wearing Whyte Studio.

Rebekah appeared on last year’s I’m a Celebritee, Get Me Out of Here and she will doubtless next pop up on Strictly Come Skijumping, although she has no obvious claim to fame save that she is more orange than an orange and is married to footballer Jamie Vardy.  But she got to have her moment on the Red Carpet, dressed, for reasons that can only be guessed at,  as a pastel Poldark.

Next up we have actor Penélope Cruz at the premiere of Loving Pablo in Madrid, wearing Versace.

Several years ago, Jean-Paul Gauthier went through a very annoying phase of sending out beautiful women in stupid half-and-half outfits. Now Versace is at it. At first glance, Penélope seems to have slipped a long evening coat over one shoulder, but there is nothing to go on the other shoulder. The whole outfit makes her look like a shimmering black beetle.

Here is Mel B launching yet another series of America’s Got Talent Even If The Judges Don’t. 

This dress is typical of Mel’s wardrobe choices, i.e. it is tacky, tawdry and far too short. It appears to have been stitched together from heavily embroidered place mats, the sort you get when you go to tea at your granny. In case you are wondering how it stays up, it has an illusion panel and you can see the seam running from breast to clavicle, like the joint on a doll.

To the iHeart Radio Music Awards where a variety of very badly attired people got together for no obvious purpose. This is rapper Young Thug, wearing who knows what?

The techicolour vomit artist’s smock is bad enough but WTF’s main disapprobation is reserved for the ridiculous white trousers exposing plenty of purple-socked ankle. In Victorian times, women flashing their ankles was considered to be erotic. in 2018, it is the men doing it.

Actor Jackie Cruz, wearing Death by Dolls.

If she were to spin round, she could take half a dozen people’s eyes out with those tassels. Those people whose eyes were not already tight shut to avoid seeing the horror of this dress.

Here is a WTF staple, singer Halsey wearing Raisa and Vanessa.

The hair is very Pebbles Flintstone but the outfit is more Jane after becoming Mrs Tarzan. Only, she wasn’t tattooed.

Singer Drake Bell wearing Gucci. Gucci!!!!

The emerald-green Bugs bunny sweater costs £885 and clashes horribly with the Let’s Go-To-San-Francisco-and-drop-a-load-of-acid khaki floral trewsies (£750) and the sparkly trainers (£495). And more ankle activity, this time in red socks.

Finally, here is actor Nafessa Williams wearing Vatanika at the premiere of her new movie Tomb Raider, in which she plays cinema’s first black lesbian villain.

Yikes. If there is one thing worse than a minge moment, it is a faux minge moment. She is actually wearing flesh-toned cycle shorts under her trousers, but the fact you have to ask is unacceptable. WTF stands by her view that lace trousers are as much use as a roof rack on a helicopter.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF of Islington who is fed up with people using social media to end relationships. Yes you, Donald J. Trump. You sacked Secretary of State Rex Tillerson ON TWITTER. If that is not the definition of classless, WTF does not know what is.

How low can you go?  The White house phone is free – well for you, anyway. Have the balls to sack people in person, you outrageous orange oaf. You have so Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending on those comments and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

















Posted in Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Politics, Russia, Theresa May, Uncategorized, World Cup 2018, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Stormy Special

Hallo Readers, 

Ever since it emerged that Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, forked out $130,000 from his own pocket to silence a porn actress by the name of Stormy Daniels, who claims to have the goods on his client, WTF has been wondering where she can find another lawyer offering this level of personal service. Most lawyers do not enjoy a reputation for generosity. They tend to bill you for every moment they spend upon your affairs. Phone them up, you pay. Write them a letter or an email that they have to read, you pay. Draft an agreement, you pay. That is the way that it has been since time immemorial. But apparently Cohen is cut from different cloth. Shortly before the Presidential Election in November 2016, he discovered that Stormy was about to go public with sordid details about her ‘intimate relationship’ with the Donald ten years earlier. The Access Hollywood tape had just come out, the Donald was getting unfavourable publicity despite his denying any wrongdoing. Although Cohen believed Stormy’s story to be false, he felt it best to get her to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) in exchange for a payout. Because of course you always pay people hush money when they are telling blatant lies. To this end, he set up a company registered in Delaware, the state of choice for people who can’t be arsed to fly to the Cayman Islands or the BVI to set up an iffy company, or do not have their passport to hand. The parties to the agreement were Essential Consultants LLC, which is not essential to anyone, and does not offer any consultancy services, a person with the pseudonym David Dennison (allegedly the Donald) and Peggy Peterson (aka Stormy). Cohen wired the money to Stormy’s bank. All this out of the goodness of his heart. You do not get many lawyers like that. Or, indeed, any.

When the Wall Street Journal broke the story, the White House not only denied any knowledge of the NDA or Essential Consultants LLC, it also denied that the Donald had ever dallied with Stormy. Of course he did. Not only would his base not like it but the third Mrs Trump would not like it, not least because the dalliance would have begun just three months after the birth of her son Barron. Cohen stated publicly that he had done everything without his client’s knowledge, even though rule 1.4 of the New York Bar Rules of Professional Conduct requires him to keep his client informed of all steps taken on his behalf and to consult with him about them. No one was much surprised that the Donald may once have dallied with Stormy or, indeed, with anyone else. Or cared much. He was always a serial shagger. But for someone, whether he knew about it or nor, to pay off a porn star to help his election prospects, and then to fail to declare it as an election expense, is not just a probable breach of US Election Law, it is sleazy. As usual, the cover up is way worse than the (alleged) offence.

Last week, Stormy declared that the NDA was void. First, she said whilst she and the company had signed it, David Dennison had not. Second, even if it was valid, she claimed that Cohen had invalidated it by talking about it. Cohen, still apparently acting without any reference to his client, went to arbitration under the NDA and got a retired judge to issue an injunction to prevent Stormy from going public. Whereupon Stormy’s lawyer filed a court case against the company and the Donald alleging that he, Cohen and others had attempted to intimidate Daniels and shut her up and seeking relief. Not the sort that Stormy is said to have offered the Donald, but a declaration that the NDA was invalid. At which point, we all got to see the said NDA, because it was attached in full to the claim. It is quite a document. Amongst other things, it assigns to DD all copyright in “paintings, video images, still images, e-mail messages, text messages, Instagram message, facebook posting or any other type of creation by DD.” Paintings? WTF was unaware that the Donald ever painted anything other than his face. Plus Stormy has to pay DD $1m for every breach of the NDA.

 If St Michael of Cohen really did all this without his client’s knowledge, which is about as likely as orange pigs with comb-overs flying down Pennsylvania Avenue, why did the Donald’s Press Secretary tell journalists that he “had won an arbitration” on an agreement he was not a party to and knew nothing about? But hey. If St Michael is disbarred or disciplined for breaching his professional obligations and if he really did shell out $130,000 of his own money (plus all that travel and company start-up costs), at least he will have the consolation of knowing that he is a really, really, lovely chap. We can but hope that the Donald appreciates it. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his all for his friends.


We are now off to the Oscars to peruse the shocking sartorial choices made both on the Red Carpet and at the after-parties. We begin with director and writer Agnès Varda, aged 89, wearing Gucci.

This is a lot of floral. It is understandable that Agnès would want to cover her décolletage, but the sweater under the pyjamas under the dressing gown, not to mention the stripes, is a lot of a lot. As WTF aficionado Bindy noted, Gucci has given Agnès a rope to hang herself with. She looks as if she has wandered downstairs from the bedroom into her granddaughter’s birthday party.

Actor Timothée Chalamet, wearing Beluti.

Timothée is dressed for his First Communion. His mother kindly shortened his trousers but she seems to have overdone it. Either that or he had a sudden growth spurt.

Skier and Olympic medallist Lindsey Vonn, wearing Christian Siriano.

Lindsey is dressed as a saloon girl in a John Wayne western.

Teenage Mom Farrah Abraham, actress Phoebe Price and German ‘personality’ Sophia Vegas. Sophia is wearing Royal Legacy and Phoebe is wearing Jovani.

Farrah has gone very Jessica Rabbit with the hair. Her dress is nice and surprisingly modest but having made two full-on sex tapes, everyone has already seen her wares. Phoebe and Sophia are giving us the full pastel minge waterfall look. They are all doing that forward knee thing that WTF really, really hates and she would prefer it if the three of them just went away.

Actress Salma Hayek wearing Gucci.

salma gucci

It’s here! The ultimate Gucci luxury loo roll cover with diamanté trim. Meanwhile, whoever did Salma’s hair and makeup needs a slap, a P45, and another slap.

Actress Haley Bennett, wearing Christian Dior.

Dior assembled this dress from a roll of garden turf over mosquito netting and the illusion panel polo neck with a visible seam is like a large tracheostomy scar.

Young actor Darrell Britt-Gibson, who needs a word with his tailor.

Love, love, love the shocking pink jacket and the skinny tie but those trousers are half up his shins and his shoes are too big.

Actress Andra Day, wearing Zac Posen.

It is as if Cath Kidston had taken up residence at Versailles making curtains. And Andra’s mules are the same colour as the carpet. 

Self-publicist Blanca Blanco, wearing who knows what?

By Blanca’s very low standards, she is positively covered up – remember her effort at this year’s Grammys – but this is not so much a gaping tit window as a conservatory with the roof off. As for the sandals, the thick ankle strap makes her look as if she is wearing an electronic tag.

Actress Nicole Kidman ,wearing Armani Privé.

The colour is fantastic and the bodice is fine but from the waist down it is far from fine. Indeed, fine can be sighted only with a telescope. The huge bow is excessively labial and Armani has lumped in some genitalia curtains for good measure.

TV person and actress Paris Jackson, (daughter of Michael), wearing Atelier Versace.

paris jackson versace

Paris is dressed as a trapeze artist with shoulder pads. Hate the tattoos. Hate the floaty bits. Hate the pose. Hate the pop-eyed gaze. Awful.

Actress Taraji P  Henson, wearing Vera Wang.

Vera Wang giveth and Vera Wang taketh away. The skirt is lined but there is a thigh high split provoking fears of an imminent Minge Moment. And the top is unlined, giving us full view of a couple of giant nursing pads.

Singer St Vincent, wearing St Laurent.

She looks like a bedraggled Playboy Bunny half way out of her hutch. She has a pointy pubes pelmet and one of her bunny ears is hanging from her waist. What happened to the other one? It is all so terribly, terribly, terrible.

Albanian shocker Bleona Qereti wearing not much at all. WARNING!!  NIPPLES AHOY!

Bleona wore something very similar at the AMAs in 2014, to whit, not enough. It comes to something when one can only be grateful that she is wearing panties. After the 2014 AMAs, such was their shame that Bleona’s parents in Albania barricaded themselves inside their house and refused to come out, Wait until they see her in another sparkling fishing net, but this time her chest fully on show. WTF hopes that their local hospital has dusted off its defibrillator…. 

Finally, skater and Olympic medallist Adam Rippon, wearing Moschino and “styled” by Moschino director Jeremy Scott. 

WTF aficionado Andrew from Holborn was so appalled that he messaged WTF as follows. If you don’t feature Adam Rippon’s Oscars’ outfit (with the accent on ‘out’! – he looks like a posh extra from the movie Crusing) in next Friday’s column, I will send you to an ophthalmologist!’ Andrew, do not worry. Here he is. WTF has a lot of time for Adam, who, as an openly gay man, refused to meet homophobic horror, US Vice President Mike Pence, at the Winter Olympics. However, turning up as The Gimp in a tux with cutaway shoulders just will not do, even if would cause Pence to choke on his cornflakes.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF stalwart Yvonne Ridley who has alerted WTF to an utterly foul new phenomenon – the halo eyebrow.

No. No! NO!!!!!!!!!!! This is not heavenly or holy.  As Mephistopheles said in Dr Faustus: ‘Why this is hell, nor am I out of it.’ This has very definitely Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Thank you for your top comments last week and for your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x







Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Oscars, Politics, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Chumocracy Special

Hallo Readers, 

It has been a bad week for the Johnson Brothers, Boris and Jo. And a worse week for the taxpayer who had to pay for their mistakes, not to mention the enquiries into their mistakes. Both have been roundly criticised for failure properly to follow process but do they care? Boris and Jo both went to Eton and Oxford, where they were waited upon hand and foot by minions various. Why bother to clean up your mess when someone else  can do it?

Boris needs no introduction, a shambling, rambling, mendacious mess of a man without morals and with an overwhelming sense of entitlement. He is currently engaged in steering HMS Brexit onto the rocks but yesterday, he was dragged before the London Assembly as its former Mayor to explain the shambolic Garden Bridge project which wasted £40 million of public funds, although construction never actually started. This proposed Eden was supposed to provide pedestrians with a leafy stroll across the Thames amidst bushes and trees, even though Blackfriars Bridge, (admittedly not leafy because it’s a bloody bridge), is close by and though the public would be kept off the bridge much of the time whilst it was hired out for corporate events with the profits going to private owners. The concept was dreamt up by actress Joanna Lumley, a friend of the Johnson family, who prevailed upon Boris to champion the scheme. And he did. The tendering process was a fix with the design contract going to a firm of architects with little experience of bridges and with which by sheer coincidence, Lumley was associated. Guarantees were given by various public bodies, all spending our money but matching private funding never materialised. Last year, new Mayor Sadiq Khan pulled the plug to avoid further losses. Boris neither saw a problem nor apologised. Instead he bemoaned the lack of vision in killing Joanna’s scheme. But then when you’re about to plunge the whole British economy into chaos, who cares about £40 million?

Meanwhile, Jo was also playing the chumocracy card. As Minister for Universities, he set up a pointless quango called the Office for Students. Advertisements were placed for Non-Executive Directors and for a “Student Experience” representative.  220 people applied for the NED role and 131 for the Student role in a process that was supposed to be fair and impartial and result in a diverse board. But Jo approached Boris’ mate Toby Young, a journalist and champion of Academy schools, suggesting he apply. Young was duly appointed by the all-male, all-white selection board, despite Jo’s boss, the Secretary of State, querying Young’s suitability and despite his reputation as a foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed, eugenics-espousing, snobbish pig with a back catalogue of revolting tweets about women’s breasts, anal rape and admitting proles to Oxford, his alma mater. His social media accounts and public utterances were never checked, unlike the choice for the Student Experience candidate, whose every tweet was closely scrutinised and who was rejected by no 10 “advisers” and Department of Education officials because he was seen as too lefty.  Jo and his colleagues wanted people like Young, white, Oxbridge, “one of them”, avid supporters of Tory education policies and good fun at garden parties. Fortunately, Young’s appointment prompted such an outcry that he was forced to resign within a week and before even taking office, despite (or perhaps because of) vocal support from the Brothers Grimm. As for the Student Experience post, none of the candidates got the gig and an interim appointment had to be made. If only one of them had hobnobbed with the Johnsons over cocktails, it could all have been so different.


We start our review of the week’s outlandish outfits with professional showoff Frankie Grande, who hosted the Make-Up Artists and Hair Stylists Guild Awards, looking very shiny.

The jacket is cute but he has a couple of toy cars on his feet and his hair is like a badger that some cruel child psychopath has plugged into the mains.

Actress Kira Kosarin was at the same event, wearing not a lot.

Kira tweeted that the dress had ‘shifted off-centre’.  She would have done better to have shifted it into the bin. There is a silly slanted tit window, the halter neck is strangling her and there is a serious Minge Moment in progress.

Something is peeping out of that thigh-high slit, and whatever it is, it should not be on display. Yurgle. 

Now we visit the premiere of A Wrinkle in Time attended by actress Angela Bassett, wearing Greta Constantine.

Never mind a Wrinkle in Time, this is a Throwback in Time to Studio 54 in 1979. Any woman would be proud of those abs, let alone someone of 58. However, that is no excuse for going out in public looking like Scheherazade on the pull.

Here is pointless person Kim Kardashian out and about in New York, wearing a big black jacket, baggy trewsies and Celine mules.

Where to start? The My Little Pony hair? The preponderance of plastic tittage (Kim has revealed that she prevents nipslips with industrial strength gaffer tape – ouch! Imagine removing gaffer tape from your nipples – they would be would be more raw than a steak tartare). The jacket big enough for both her and Kanye, should he be so minded? The horrible trewsies? The mules whiter and brighter than any toothpaste ad? Not that she ever had it, but Kim has seriously lost it. Just go away.

Billionaire fashionista James Goldstein at Milan Fashion Week.

WTF has no idea who Ms Cameltoe is or why she is dressed as a titsy astronaut in kinky boots or what that thing is around her waist. James, who is wearing his usual leather hat and ridiculous, eye-wateringly expensive designer togs, is the colour of stewed tea and looks like Crocodile Dundee’s granddad.

To a charity do in LA and singer Britney Spears, wearing Gucci.

Britney always looks the same, wearing a tight, tiny, tawdry, little thing no longer than a tunic and barely covering her crotch. What distinguishes this outfit from her other outfits are the sandals.

 Her toes are overhanging like gargoyles projecting from a church….

This is actor Keesha Sharp at the BET American Black Festival Honors, wearing who even knows what.

You know when you slow- roast a shoulder of lamb and the bottom of the pan is thick with encrustations that are near impossible to remove, no matter how long you leave it to soak? That is what this dress looks like. It also seems to have been designed for someone about a foot taller than Keesha and WTF cannot but remark on the very visible belly-button, which she hates almost above all things.

Here is actress Jennifer Tilly, wearing a most remarkable ensemble.

Sometimes you might wear an oversized teeshirt at home, perhaps with a pair of bed socks. Or slip one over your swimsuit to nip down to the beach on a Greek island. But you do not go out to an evening event in one, particularly when it is very sparkly with a nightmarish logo. And you do not style it with what appears to be matching spats and the world’s ugliest clutch. Sack the stylist. Or get one. Or something…..

Finally, here is actress Sharon Stone at the Forbes Travel Guide launch.

Another stunning woman in her late 50s in a truly terrible dress. Last week we saw a hairy merkin on the catwalk. Now we have a sequinned merkin onstage. For some reason, Sharon has a broom head around her waist whilst the bottom of her dress is made from the remains of a bedraggled blackbird.


This week’s It’s Got To Go is the Daily Mail’s disgusting “journalist” Sarah Vine, aka Mrs Michael Gove. That is reason enough to hate her, Heaven knows, but Vine continues to provide new reasons to keep that hatred fresh. This week she slammed the BBC women who had the gall to complain that they were underpaid compared to men doing the same work.  She wrote” ‘No one else is going to say it, so I will. Some people get paid less than others, not because they are not posh enough (see Steph McGovern, who claims she is underpaid at the BBC on account of being from Middlesbrough) or a certain gender (Carrie Gracie, former China editor for the BBC who resigned over equal pay), but for the simple reason that they are not as good at their jobs as others’.

Not only is this untrue, it is vicious, cheap, bullshit from a woman who would probably not hold on to her piss-poor column were she not married to a Tory grandee, let alone earn a six-figure salary for writing it. Sarah has so Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Thank you for your lovely comments last week and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday to consider political developments and to review the Oscar Red Carpet. Be good x


Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Garden Bridge, Milan Fashion Week, Office for Students, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

WTF BAFTAs, BRITs and Other Shockers Special

Hallo Readers, 

On the face of it, the Parkland school shooting, where 19 year old Nicholas Cruz murdered 17 people with an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle, was just one more incident when a homicidal maniac exercised his inalienable right to murder innocent people at random with a deadly weapon. In Florida, you can buy a semi-automatic rifle at the age of 18 but you have to be 21 to buy a beer. A few days after Parkland, the Florida senate refused to pass a motion banning AR-15s but voted to condemn pornography as harmful to teenagers. In Texas, you can own as many guns as you like but you are not allowed to own more than six dildos. Wanking, it seems, is more dangerous than bullets. Politicians, many of whom fortified by fat cheques from the National Rifle Association, wrung their hands and offered up the customary thoughts and prayers. Donald Trump, who trousered $30m in NRA campaign contributions, paid a flying visit to the local hospital and to the Sheriff’s department, where he was photographed grinning broadly and giving a thumb’s up sign. He then went to Mar-a-Lago, 40 miles down the road, where he had been going anyway, and showed his respects by abstaining from golf for two whole days. Everyone assumed that once the funerals were over, everything would return to normal – until the next time.

Except that did not happen. The kids from Marjory Stoneham Douglas School, shattered, angry, in mourning, resolved to take a stand. And so they spoke out. They rallied. They railed against the NRA and those GOP Senators, including Florida’s Marco Rubio, who took NRA funds. They blamed Trump for repealing Obama’s law that people suffering from mental illness should not be able to purchase a gun. They abused him on Twitter after he claimed – shamefully – that the FBI had failed to act on tip-offs about Cruz because it had been too busy pursuing him about Russian collusion. They called for a ban on weapons. They descended on Tallahassee, the State Capital, lobbying their representatives and seeking out the Governor. They demanded that other kids in other schools should not have to watch their classmates shot, should not have hide in cupboards whilst texting their parents goodbye, should not have to attend the funerals of people they grew up with. They were critical. They were vocal. They were articulate. They were astonishing. This week, some of them (the less vocal ones) attended a meeting at the White House, where their President was forced to listen to their stories. Others appeared on a televised CNN Town Hall where they confronted Rubio (who at least had the balls to turn up, unlike the Governor who stayed away) and Dana Loesch, a representative of the NRA. President Trump claimed that he will now take action. Let us see whether he does and what it is. He also claimed that the NRA are ‘great people’ and ‘true American Patriots’.

Inevitably, it did not take long before the slime slithered out to attack the kids. They were ‘actors’. They were ‘fame whores’. They were coached and manipulated by the Liberal Left, the Fake News, George Soros, the Deep State and, probably, Beelzebub. One of them had a father who used to be in the FBI! Some of them were not even injured! To these scum, any criticism of either Trump or guns is intolerable. They love the Second Amendment but they really hate the First. At the CNN Town Hall on Wednesday night, Loesch, the Bullshit Breitbart Barbie, was emollient to the victims who berated her but yesterday, in a speech to the Far Right CPAC conference, she showed her true colours, asserting that these slaughters were the fault of Law Enforcement, not guns, and that ‘many in the legacy Media love mass shootings” because ‘crying white mothers are ratings gold’. Of course, she did not say that during the CNN event to the crying white (and non-white) mothersShe complained to CPAC that she had been in fear of her life the previous day when some of the audience had (wrongly) rushed at the stage in fury. Really? Try hiding in a cupboard whilst gunfire rages around you and then emerge to find your friends and teachers lying dead in a pool of blood, having been shot with one of the lethal weapons you are sworn to protect. Then come back and talk about fear.


Let us turn to something a little more cheerful. This is one of WTF’s favourite weeks in the fashion calendar, the week where the BAFTAs and the BRITs coincide in a cornucopia of cack. We start our survey of the week’s sartorial slop-bucket at the  BAFTAs ceremony itself and actress Alison Janney, wearing Bibhu Mohapatra. 

WTF has adored Alison ever since The West Wing and the dress itself is spectacular, but the shrug looks like the metal bit at the top of a hinged corkscrew.

This is young actress Anya Taylor-Joy, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.

Anna’s lower limbs are in full mourning but the upper thighs are out and proud. Clock the tiara. Anna is the princess of peekaboo.

To the pre-BAFTAs party and actress Kate Mara, wearing Valentino.

Yes, Valentino. This pink thing (the dress, not Kate or Signor Valentino, he is the colour of creosote) is the product of a one night stand between a prawn and a puffy pelmet. And just in case you were insufficiently appalled, Kate has added a red cross-body bag and a pair of pewter pumps, neither of which has anything to do with the price of fish. Kate’s stylist deserves a slap, a P45 and another slap.

To the BRITs and actress Noomi Rapace, wearing Matty Bovan.

This is just weird, like looking at someone’s innards through a kaleidoscope in a trippy version of Silent Witness.

Rapper Rich the Kid.

A very swirly suit, a Mayoral Chain and silly sunglasses. But kudos for carrying the  white rose.

Popular singing troupe Little Mix, in a variety of vulgarity.

From left to right, Jade Thirlwall looks nice in a long black dress and red lippie; Leigh-Anne Pinnock looks more like Leigh-Anne Pillock in a negligée by Stella McCartney who, once again, is taking the piss; Jesy Nelson is giving us the full cameltoe thing in thrush-inducing slime green leather; and Perrie Edwards is wearing a nightdress that appears to go with Leigh-Anne Pillock’s negligée but is in fact by Amanda Wakeley.

Singer Dua Lipa, wearing Giambattista Valli

Dua is very pretty but she is standing in a sea of candy floss.

Singer MNEK.

MNEK has come straight from his day job as a  short-order chef in a corner diner.

Finally, we have OITNB actress Dascha Polanco at an NBA Party. Heaven knows what she is wearing….

Let us not beat about the bush. (Indeed, WTF has never seen a bush that she has beaten about).  This is a shower curtain over baggy thermal long-johns. And the back view is even worse.

This is NOT a size thing. Dascha is gorgeous. This is a fuck-me-that’s-terrible thing.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Annie Bishop, who sent in one of THE MOST REVOLTING things WTF has ever seen. SO THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO SEE LADY PARTS, LOG OFF NOW AND COME BACK NEXT FRIDAY.


Ready? You won’t be….

All together now…..


This merkin is brought to you courtesy of “South Korean-born polymath” designer KAIMIN, who featured them in his New York Fashion Week show. And not just merkins but hairy-bearded merkins. And WTF has a question to ask? Why? WHY? Minge Moments are bad enough but Merkin Moments are quite beyond the pale. KAIMIN and these hairy things have SO Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Thank you for your comments last week and your – in some cases quite astonishing – suggestions for It’s Got To Go, although whether WTF should be thanking Annie Bishop for the merkin is up for debate. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x






Posted in BAFTAs, Brits, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, NRA, Parkland Shooting, Politics, Second Amendment, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

WTF Embassy Special

Hallo Readers,

You know when you invite someone to dinner and they just stay on after everyone else has gone home, drinking their way through your booze and ignoring your scowls, yawns and heavy hints to leave? Eventually, you are forced to offer him the spare room just so you can get some sleep. Next morning, he is up demanding a cooked breakfast, freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee whilst hogging the hot water and clean towels. That evening, he is still there, waiting for his dinner. And he just stays. And stays. And stays. Now multiply that by half a decade. That is Julian Assange, who has been holed up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London since 2012 to avoid arrest. He does not like it there. His living quarters are spartan, a small bedroom converted from a ladies toilet, with a bed, a sunlamp, a running machine and internet access. The Ecuadorians, who took him in for reasons they probably can barely remember, hate the sight of him and want him out. The Met Police lurk outside, at huge expense to the taxpayer. No one is happy.

This week, Assange sent M’learned Friends to court to ask the Chief Magistrate to discharge the arrest warrant against him. That warrant is extant because he skipped bail, stuffing his sureties in the process, and sought refuge in the said Embassy to avoid being shipped out to Sweden to face charges of rape. Assange maintains that those charges were trumped up so that, on arrival in Sweden, he could be extradited to the US to face charges of publishing State Secrets on Wikileaks. M’Learned Friends argued that as the Swedes had got fed up and dropped the charges (one of the charges is now time barred in any event), the bail matter was disproportionate and should also be dropped, and that he has been punished enough after so many years of house arrest in the Embassy, suffering from depression, deprived of natural light, a dentist and his liberty. It was, it was said, the equivalent of a prison sentence.

The Chief Magistrate was unimpressed. She pointed out that it was not for Assange to dictate how the law should operate. He had skipped bail, which is an offence. She felt that he was not detained in the Embassy; he had chosen to enter it, he was free to leave it at any time, people could come to visit him whenever they wanted, he could eat and drink and retire to bed when he chose and that denizens of HM Prison Wandsworth might well prefer his living conditions to their own. She might have added that Pamela Anderson was able to visit him. And Nigel Farage could come as well (actually, the old lags definitely have the edge on that one). In short, she ruled, he could fuck right off. And so say all of us.

Assange’s whining, deluded portrayal of himself as a cross between the Prisoner of  Zenda and Nelson Mandela on Robben Island could not be less accurate. How likely is it that he will be extradited to the US when Donald Trump proclaimed during the US Election campaign “I love Wikileaks”? And how can you allow Assange to skip bail unpunished? What happens at Knightsbridge Crown Court when some hardened criminal declines to appear on charges of burglary and GBH on the grounds that what applies to Assange should apply to him as well? It may not be as luxurious as the nearby Carlton Tower, but Assange is in the Embassy because he is unwilling to face arrest were he to leave. It is a self-inflicted wound. He is no hero. He is a weaselly, self-aggrandising, delusional, coward. He can either stay there and rot or the Ecuadorians can stop serving him food and starve him out. Either way we have all heard more than enough from him.


We start our survey of the week’s sartorial stupidity with the 2018 NME Awards in a rain-soaked London and rapper Stefflon Don.

Stefflon resembles a titsy bird of prey in lacy boots.

The rest of the post is from New York Fashion Week and what a dismal collection of people await you, starting with Beyonce’s stylist Ty Hunter, wearing Younhee Park at the Concept Korea show.

He looks like an extra from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. What is he supposed to be? He has very large feet in very shiny shoes, like a clown, which is fitting.

Actress Selma Blair, guest-modelling for Christian Siriano.

Selma seems to have been scribbled all over by a particularly exercised schizophrenic and she is wearing what looks like a slanket. What is the point of wrapping a slanket around your torso when the wind is whistling up your wotsits?  What happens when you want to do a wee-wee? And why on earth is her body-stocking worn over her shoes?

Stylist June Ambrose, wearing DSquared2.

This is the lovechild of a lumberjack and a giant red squirrel with sparkly bootees and a silly hat.

Model Ping, wearing Negris Le Brun.

Call her old-fashioned, but WTF is struggling to understand how a pair of frayed and grubby bloomers constitutes fashion. Ping is dressed for yet another film version of 50 Shades of Filth, this one set in the Victorian era, in which our heroine does the dirty, kinky-style, with the Master of the house.

Actress Tatyana Ali, wearing Taneasha Prunty.

She is lovely and her smile is infectious but there is more droopage than an overladen azalea plant and it is, ahem, somewhat tight around the lady parts.

Actress Paula Patton, wearing Helmut Lang, seen with actress Roselyn Sanchez, wearing Maria Lucia Hohan. Roselyn looks OK. Paula does not.

Paula has been assembled from two separate people, a City gent and a schoolgirl in white frilly ankle socks. Here is a WTF Rule. No one should wear white frilly ankle socks unless they are under the age of five. And certainly not with heels.

Stripper turned rapper, Nya Lee, wearing Agent Provocateur at Phllipp Plein’s show.

This falls squarely into the category of “That is not even clothes”. Everything is either on display or looks as if it is about to be.

Transgender socialite, model and actress Gigi Gorgeous, at The Blonds show.

Those are two of the most improbable tits WTF ever did see in her life, like a couple of bald men hiding behind a bandana, whilst the shorts, complete with mesh and minge magnolia, are to be deplored.

And finally, makeup artist Amra Olevic and Sammy M (no, WTF doesn’t know who the hell he is either) also at The Blonds show. Careful with this one.

Amra, who is a Kim Kardashian lookalikey, is displaying gargantuan amounts of tit and it is 50:50 whether the imminent Minge Moment will happen before or after the imminent Nipslip. As for Freddie Mercury lookalikey Sammy, his outfit is as silly as anything WTF has seen for a long time. Kilts are supposed to be worn with a sporran, not a bumbag, whether Gucci or otherwise, and with some species of shirt or top. In Scotland, they toss the caber. Sammy, alas, just looks a tosser.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who is rightly upset about Tory MSP Jeremy Balfour. Balfour attempted to table an amendment to the Scottish Security Bill in the Scottish Parliament “to review the eligibility of terminally-ill people for benefits if they are still alive after three years.” Yvonne says that this is a new low for a Tory. She is right. What is supposed to happen? Is someone to go round to the terminally ill person’s house and tell them hurry up and die? As often, one is put in mind of the words of Lady Bracknell when told that Algernon cannot dine with her that night because his (made-up) friend Mr Bunbury has taken a turn for the worse. “Well I must say, Algernon, I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd”. Mr Balfour has SO Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your top comments last week and welcomes back Andrew Purcell after an illness – he has been much missed. There were also some excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x





Posted in Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Julian Assange, New York Fashion Week, Nigel Farage, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Parade Special

Hallo Readers,

Think about a military parade. Think Kim Jong Un, fatly presiding over endless rows of anti-aircraft guns and goose-stepping soldiers, their kicks higher than the chorus line of the Folies Bergère. Think Mussolini and Hitler, shouting their heads off in front of ugly buildings to a roaring crowd. Think May Day with tanks rolling through Red Square past the iron-faced coterie surrounding Vladmir Putin. Think, rather more agreeably, Bastille Day in Paris with President and Mme. Macron waving up a storm. We Brits do not really go in for that sort of thing. We do not flaunt our missiles, not that we have many, or drive our tanks along the Mall. The best we can do is the Edinburgh Tattoo, or bringing out the Red Arrows on a Royal occasion, or mustering a battalion in Whitehall for the annual Trooping the Colour. Or the odd marching band at the Wembley Stadium before the Cup Final.

Now think Washington D.C. on a summer’s day. Picture it. There will of course be the largest crowd ever assembled. Period. Every sort of military vehicle, from scooters to Sherman tanks, will rumble along Pennsylvania Avenue, causing irreparable damage to the infrastructure. Aircraft carriers will block the Potomac, poisoning the fish. The air will be thick with the roar of fighter planes ruining the air quality, But that is alright because the Head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt, has said that global warming could be good for the environment. I mean, no one wants cold tootsies, do they? And there, reviewing this magnificence, is Donald Trump, his hair blowing in the wind and forming a perfect golden circle around his bald pate, like the rays of the setting sun. At his side is his wife Melania, her face an expressionless mask, whether through Botox or hatred of her husband, WTF cannot say. The bands will play a stirring selection of Dolly Parton classics. As the Donald would say, Wow!

So what is the purpose of this jamboree? Is to celebrate American Independence from the beastly Brits? No. It is simply because Trump wants it. Le Roi le Veult. He went to France for their July 14 celebration last year and was enchanted by the pomp and circumstance. He was probably wholly unaware of its historical significance but it would not matter in any event because with Trump, it is all about him. He wants to be celebrated. He wants to be idolised. Hell, he wants to be deified. He has already indicated that anyone who did not applaud his rambling State of the Union speech was un-American and “treasonous”. He has already described the media who criticise him as “Fake News” and “enemies of the people”. It is but a hop, a skip and a jump to the next stage of El Presidente Trumpetto and the Biggest Parade Ever.

Meanwhile, there are people who want to piss on his Parade. The Pentagon thinks it is a waste of money which could be better used to support veterans and buy equipment. The City of Washington DC is worried about the cracked roads. Everyone else is worried about the cracked President, and bemused that a five-times draft dodger with supposed bone spurs, a man who never served, whose sons never served, has such an affinity for all things military. And of course for him the best thing is that, like everything else he does, it is all at someone else’s expense.  To the protesters that will inevitably gather at this event, here is some advice – bring a giant wind machine. And to El Presidente -wear a hat.


Both readers of this blog and followers of @WTF_EEK, some of whom are the same people, rose up last week on seeing Her Holiness the Duchess of Cambridge wearing two scandalously horrible dresses by Erdem during her recent visit to Sweden. There was however division as to which was the more horrible, so WTF has featured them both. We start with the horrible blue one, and also stop to sneer at Crown Princess Victoria, wearing Instyle.

Yes, Kate is pregnant but that is no excuse for going around wearing a designer bedspread. As for Crown Princess Victoria, she should pursue Instyle for gross misrepresentation because there is nothing remotely stylish about this rave from the 70s grave. As WTF aficionado Bespoke Finishes remarked, “Holy hell, the blue dress is horrible and the other outfit looks like it comes from Primark”.

And here is HRH in the horrible yellowy one. The gentleman accompanying her is the British Ambassador.

Apart from the fact that this is the colour of the urine from a diseased bladder, your late granny had that pattern on her spare bedroom curtains and it is also very frilly and flouncy. As WTF aficionado Jo Franks remarked, “I wouldn’t wrap a dead cat in that…”. Indeed, the RSPCA would be highly displeased were she to do so. As would the cat.

To the NFL Honors Gala in Minneapolis and football star Von Miller.

WTF is all for originality, but there is originality and there looking like a prat. Wearing a multi-strand necklace over a three piece suit and a polo neck sweater falls into the second category. Meanwhile, this is another sad example of men in trousers with an elephant-vagina crotch. Why? WHY? WHY???

Meet fashionista and TV personality EJ Johnson at the Tom Ford menswear launch in New York.

EJ is the son of Magic Johnson but no magician could conjure this outfit into anything palatable. By the way, EJ – Cruella de Vil called.  She wants her coat back…

More evidence that Tom Ford has gone down the pan as seen on singer Halsey.

The stupid, thrush-inducing bodysuits of the 90’s are back with us and this one is going to cause several trips to the drugstore for large tubes of Canesten. It makes you feel sore just looking at her. Tits, hips, a low-slung crotch and follow-me-home-and-fuck-me shoes. Classy.

Here is actress and singer Jennifer Lopez, wearing Ester Abner.

JLo is stunning but she is 48, not 18, and even an 18-year-old would struggle to look good with breasts and limbs spilling forth from coffee filter papers. 

As for the hair, many ponies are shivering in the cold weather, their arses suddenly exposed to the elements through the loss of their tails. 

To the amFAR Gala in New York to make the start of NYFW where a number of people looked utterly ridiculous, including model Anwar Hadid (brother of Gigi and Bella), seen here with actress Nicola Peltz. She looks fine. He does not.

What are those trousers? They are not so much cropped as truncated, someone has taken the garden shears to his jeans jacket and who wears a bloody tie with a jeans jacket anyway? 

And this is preposterous Chilean pseud di Mondo looking like an absolute tosser.

Di Mondo turned up in this blog in 2014 wearing a jewelled face mask. Now he is back dressed as a bullfighter with split palazzo pants and doing an Angelina Jolie pose.  Tosser.

Finally, TV nutritionist, Gillian McKeith wearing WTF does not even know what.

Gillian, who appears to have sprained both her arms, was cruelly pipped to the post for the fabled WTF Christmas Turkey 2017 by Missoni-clad Lewis Hamilton who bolted out of nowhere to secure top spot. Now she is making an early bid for the WTF Summer Stinker 2018. On this evidence, she is looking good for a podium position at the very least, because this is equally as foul, like something left mouldering in the cupboard and found years later covered in dusty cobwebs.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Rachel from London, who is appalled by the new excesses in denim nonsense. Well, WTF says excesses but actually it is the absence of actual fabric that is Rachel finds appalling. Say hello to the denim bustier or “justier”.


This tat costs £35. But even worse is this “belt” flogged by Net-A-Porter for a staggering $405.

denim belt

This is just taking the piss. There are about 6 inches of old jeans here sold at a zillion per cent mark up. If you are intent upon looking ridiculous, then cut up a pair of old jeans and make these “garments” yourself. It’s Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your comments last week and hopes for more, plus there were more top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

































Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, New York Fashion Week, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

WTF Grammys Deep Horror Special

Hallo Readers,

Would you put the Chief Rabbi in charge of the Pork Promotion Programme? You would not. So why would you put climate change deniers in charge of your environmental policy? In the US, the idiot President appointed Scott Pruitt to run the Environment Protection Agency. Pruitt is a former Attorney General of Oklahoma who distinguished his tenure there by suing the EPA 14 times. It is of course sheer coincidence that Pruitt received hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign donations from the fossil fuel industry. When appointed to the EPA, he set about repealing most of Obama’s protective regulations and fired the 18 independent scientists advising the Agency, and will reeplace them with “industry representatives”. 

Of course, this suits Trump just fine because he is also a climate change denier. Last week, when “interviewed” by Piers Morgan, not that it was an actual interview, more a case of Morgan applying his tongue to the Presidential fundament, Trump said, unchallenged,

‘There is a cooling and there’s a heating—I mean, look, it used to not be climate change. It used to be global warming. That wasn’t working too well because it was getting too cold all over the place. The ice caps were going to melt. They were going to be gone by now, but now they’re setting records, okay? They’re at a record level’.

The technical term for this is ‘bollocks’. 

In order of bollocks, global warning is part of climate change; 2017 was the third hottest year on record in the US; the average world temperature throughout the year is warmer than it was but that does not mean part of the US do not get cold; ‘climate change’ more accurately explains the concept of the damage done by greenhouse gases, as opposed to the noxious emissions from Trump himself; and the ice caps are indeed ‘setting records’ – they are melting. It is unclear what record Trump thought the icecaps were setting – fastest time in the 1500 metres? This scientific genius then continued:

I’ll tell you what I believe in. I believe in clean air. I believe in crystal clear, beautiful water. I believe in just having good cleanliness and all.

Which is presumably why Pruitt has set about repealing the Clean Water Act and would have got rid of restrictions on methane leaks had the Courts not intervened. And the idiot President thinks there is such a thing as clean coal.

But Trump and Pruitt are professorial in their knowledge compared to the moronic Kathleen Hartnett White, a woman who would have to have intensive coaching six times a week just to attain a level of sheer ignorance. Hartnett White, who looks like the sort of woman burning witches in Salem, was Trump’s nomination for his adviser on Environmental Quality, although she has no scientific qualifications. In fact, WTF can safely say that Hartnett White knows as much about science as WTF’s left buttock knows about heart surgery. Hartnett White’s main qualification for the role is her evangelical belief that climate change is a hoax and that there are “grand schemes to decarbonise society”. Her appearance before the Senate Committee was an event so embarrassingly awful that you had to watch it through your fingers whilst screaming ‘Oh My God’ very loudly at regular intervals. Amongst the top moments was when Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (for whom WTF has a particular penchant) asked Marie Curie 11, in the context of the oceans becoming hotter, whether she agreed that water expands as it heats. Even WTF knows the answer to this one but Hartnett White replied “I do not have any kind of expertise or even much layman’s study of the ocean dynamics.” In fact, having pocketed a fistful of dollars from the industry, all Hartnett White knows is that fossil fuels are wonderful and led, amongst other things, to the abolition of slavery. Go figure.

The Committee voted along party lines to approve her nomination. Of course it did. Most Republicans would vote for Stormy Daniels were they asked to. But her nomination lapsed through lack of Senate time. She was re-nominated but it appears that even the White House could not face seeing Sen. Whitehouse managing not to laugh at the asinine answers from a woman clearly as blissful in her bigoted stupidity as Trump is in his and there was a danger that the full Senate might not have approved her. So her nomination has been withdrawn. The real question is why she was ever put forward. Welcome to the Fox News World where you only hear the answers you want because the only people you ask are either as stupid as you are or too bloody craven to give you the right one.


Our review of the week’s sartorial shockers all come from the Grammys, held this year in New York. There are equal numbers of appallingly dressed men and women so this is a truly gender equality review. We start with beauty guru (he now has a range for MAC), Patrick Starr. WTF has no idea what he is wearing. None at all.

Those plump thighs put WTF in mind of Nicholas Nickleby and Wackford Squeer’s description of his son, “What do you think of him, sir, for a specimen of the Dotheboys Hall feeding? Ain’t he fit to bust out of his clothes, and start the seams, and make the very buttons fly off with his fatness? Here’s flesh!’ cried Squeers, turning the boy about, and indenting the plumpest parts of his figure with divers pokes and punches”.

Singer Rapsody, wearing something strange.

Why is she attired as a crossdressing Victorian station-master in most ill-fitting trousers? 

Actor Cody Longo, wearing who knows what?

This is a walking up yours to the World Wildlife Fund. Many fine animals have died in vain….

Model and TV presenter Heidi Klum,wearing Ashi Studio.

Yet again, Heidi wafts effortlessly into the category of “That’s Not Even Clothes” It is becoming tiresome and the minge triangle is particularly nasty.

Rapper Lil Uzi Vert, wearing Tripp.

He is a bell-bottomed prison warden and that skull-head cross and chain is clearly so heavy that he can barely hold his head aloft. Call the osteopath!

Singer SZA, wearing Atelier Versace.

This is a veritable vaginal Victoria Falls.

Musician and professional son Jaden Smith, wearing what looks like a collection of clothes from a skip.

Jared has always been annoying and he is becoming more annoying with every day that passes. He has had to write the name of his debut album SYRE on his hand, lest he forget it. If only we could do the same…

Singer Kali Uchis, wearing who knows what?

If an astronaut went to a fancy dress party as a pink Quality Street sweet, this is what she would look like.

Rapper Tyler, the Creator, wearing Louis Vuitton.

At first Tyler, the Pretentious, sported a large fur hat last seen on a border guard in Uzbekistan, but then he removed it to show this ……

Pillock. Love the coat though..

TV presenter Giuliana Ranic, wearing Mikael D.

Giuliana turned up in a minge cobweb on the Red Carpet for E! to interview other people on the Red Carpet. Giuliana’s dresses are getting smaller and smaller. By the time we get to the Oscars, she will be wearing nothing but a pair of stilettos. 

Singer Sir Elton John and his husband David Furnish, both wearing Gucci.

David looks like the receptionist at the Cancun Crowne Plaza and Elton is wearing  a jacket composed of shiny shower tiles and a blouse with a pussycat bow, like a sparkly reincarnation of Mrs Thatcher but with a hair weave. And unlike Mrs T, who dusted people up verbally, he is wearing actual knuckledusters with his name on them. 

Singer Pink, wearing Armani Privé.

Armani has gone stark staring mad. Pink looks exactly like Boombah the Lion in the Indian version of Sesame Street

Rapper GoldLink, wearing God knows what….

GoldLink is evidently taking part in a post-modern revival of Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance. Why is he wearing zipped leather knickers over his trousers? What happens at wee-wee time? Is the top zip linked to another zip? That is an awful lot of unzipping…

Finally, we have singer, Fox News contributor and would-be Congresswoman Joy Villa, wearing a Pronovias wedding gown, which she then hand painted with a foetus, and paired with a tiara and a hand-painted Choose Life handbag.

This is a novel form of campaigning – wear your manifesto. Joy is a devoted Trump supporter, and turned up to the event last year in a #MAGA dress, but this is even more offensive. Before finding the Alt-Right, Joy used the Grammys to flash her bits in order to get noticed, like the ridiculous dress composed of iron railings she wore in 2015. Joy may choose life. WTF chooses life without Joy.


This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney who is “impelled” to suggest the Poor Door for inclusion in this section. Ayesha puts it so well WTF need only quote her verbatim. ‘This foul innovation describes a hidden, back-door entry provided for occupants of “affordable” flats in mixed public/private housing developments – to avoid distressing visually sensitive occupants who have paid the higher, market rate. 

The Poor Door has been blithely admitted by leaders of Haringey council in London to feature in their controversial scheme to let a multinational developer feast on a big slice of the authority’s property portfolio – a scheme this week beginning to hit buffers erected by Labour’s national bosses’. Ayesha’s curse has worked because the Council’s Chief Executive resigned on Tuesday over the furore. It’s Got To Go. She’s Already Gone. 


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your comments last week and hopes for more. However, there were some top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x


Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Grammys, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments