WTF Sovereignty Special

Hallo Readers,

Here’s the thing. For the last 18 months the country has been at each other’s throats over Brexit. The Brexiteers think that the Remoaners are refusing to honour the outcome of a democratic vote and, worse, are out to sabotage it. The Remainers think that the Brexiteers are misinformed, misled and, in many cases, downright dumb. Negotiations are in the hands of David Davis, a man so profoundly unsuited for the role that Mickey Mouse wears a David Davis watch. The idea that we should leave our political and economic future to him is disturbing because (a) he is an idiot and (b) he lied to Parliament about impact assessments, for which there has been neither an apology nor an explanation and (c) you cannot rely upon anything he says. Last Friday, we were told that Mrs May had secured a great deal with the EU to progress onto the next stage  of negotiations, and that we had agreed to fork out £39 billion (the money David Davis told us we would not have to pay). Then on Sunday, Davis said that the deal was not binding. Then on Monday, he said that it was binding. Then the EU said that it was only a gentleman’s agreement but they regarded it as binding. So is it an agreement or not?  When will it become an actual agreement? Will white smoke emerge from the Downing Street Chimney? Even then, how will we know that it is just not hot air blowing out of David Davis’ fundament? 

On Wednesday, Parliament voted for an amendment giving it the final say on the final agreement (if it actually is an agreement, which it might not be, even if David Davis says it is, see above). Previously all that was on offer was a take-it-or-leave-it vote without any chance to demand a change. Eleven Tories led by the splendid Dominic Grieve, the man Cameron sacked as Attorney-General for sticking up for Human Rights, voted for the amendment, leaving Mrs May with another bloody nose. Cue the usual outrage. The Mail spat blood, calling them “traitors”. The Express, owned by a soft-porn-merchant, referred to the rebels being “slapped down in a patriotic attack”, which turned out to be reference to the appalling Nadine Dorries MP, best known for prancing about in I’m a Celebrity Get Me, Out of Here, calling for them to be deselected. Twitter raged. Why? They wanted Parliamentary Sovereignty restored. Well now it has been and they don’t like it. It does not get any more Supreme than the Supreme Court but they did not like it when M’Lords and M’Lady decided the issue of Article 50 either, even though we supposedly voted to restore the supremacy of our judicial system. To the Leavers, because we voted to Leave, no one gets to question when we Leave or how we Leave or on what terms we Leave, even though none of these things were decided upon in the vote and most people did not know the difference between the Customs Union and their left buttock. They parrot the word democracy but revile the right of those we voted for to use their conscience and common sense to ensure that we Leave on the best possible terms. For anyone to want a say is just treachery, innit? And so we end 2017 as we began it, with recrimination, suspicion and mutual contempt. And the weatherman says that there is more to come in 2018. 

On a happier note, Readers, next week, there will be the much-loved WTF Christmas Turkey Poll where 20 vile examples of fashion disasters await your selection. Remember – vote early and vote often! You know you want to….

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Let us lighten the mood with our weekly review of sartorial silliness, starting with actor Chris Sullivan  at the GQ Party. There wasn’t room for him last week.

Chris has a penchant for loud suits and this one is positively deafening, like a bad bedspread in a Bognor bed and breakfast. Extra minus points for the cream brogues, which have absolutely nothing to do with the price of fish.

Here is actress Sofia Carson wearing Francesco Scognamiglio.

Nice to see Sofia getting into the Christmas spirit dressed as everyone’s favourite purple-wrapped chocolate in the Quality Street box.

Next up, we have singer Rita Ora out and about in New York, wearing Estaban Cortazar.

How much tartan does a person need? There is enough here to clothe a whole clan of McOras, set off by a jacket that seems to be composed of old flock wallpaper, a randomly hanging paisley shirt and puce bootees, like a rag doll.

To the British Independent Film Awards in London, where we encounter a newcomer to these pages, actor and singer Cosmo Jarvis.

Cosmo looks mortified, as well he might, because he has come to the event dressed as a hotel bell boy. The jacket is too short, the trousers are too long, the green tartan bow tie (why?) is wonky and the shoes are plain offensive. Cosmo must have spent the whole evening dodging requests from people to bring them their luggage.

Also there was actress Joanne Froggatt, aka Anna in Downton Abbey, wearing Temperley London.

The top is pretty but under the obligatory sheer shirt, Joanne seems to be wearing a pair of Elizabethan pantaloons last seen on Sir Walter Raleigh.

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Still in London, we pop in to the premiere of The Last Jedi  and actress Daisy Ridley, wearing Calvin Klein.

Calvin Klein is taking the piss because this is a bin bag. That is all there is to be said.

Singer Janelle Monáe went to the Refinery 29 exhibition in LA wearing a Kaimin outfit, a headpiece by Dead Lotus Couture (no, me neither) and Via Spiga boots.

This is certainly striking, as in struck in the face striking. WTF can best describe this as the top half of one of Lewis Hamilton’s discarded racing outfits with padded shoulders, worn with Mickey Mouse ears.

Finally we have singer and electronic artist Peaches at Cyndi Lauper’s party. Careful now…..

The hair and makeup are gruesome and the outfit is the lovechild of a sleazy Superwoman and a medieval be-bowed troubadour, including the bow tied around the knee. All she need is a mandolin. Everything is on display but who wants to see it? There are slashes in the leg like windows in a church steeple and a worrying headlong rush down to the crotch, putting onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from the Borders who has taken objection to South Tyneside Council in the North East which has installed anti-sleeper slabs to stop people sleeping rough.

Does the Council suppose someone chooses to sleep rough in the coldest winter we’ve had for years? Does it suppose that someone thinks, ‘oh hallo, it’s  minus 3, why don’t I bed down in a corner and have a nice night’s kip?’ No? If you don’t want people sleeping rough, give them somewhere to go and some money to pay rent. Happy Christmas to you, South Tyneside Council. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF just loves them to bits. And don’t neglect your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

 

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WTF Furious Special

Hallo Readers 

Last Saturday, WTF was so outraged by everyone and everything that she practically exploded. She was put on the Twitter naughty step and was generally homicidal and downright furious. (Admittedly, this was not helped by Arsenal losing at home to Manchester United). At about 9 pm, her friend Dave emailed her to suggest she have a large drink and an early night (neither involving him). WTF replied that she was operating on the hypothesis that everyone was a c**t. Whilst that may have been somewhat broad (and of course, dear Readers, there are exceptions to that designation), the general principle still holds good. Good God, why are so many shits prospering and why are so many credulous fools allowing them to prosper? 

Take Brexit. Early this morning we have scraped together some sort of deal to proceed onto the next stage of negotiations, preserving the present status of the  Irish border and the rights of EU citizens here and there and we are still in for at least two more years. It will cost us (as yet untold) billions just to leave, despite what the idiot David Davis told us. A deal was almost reached on Monday but was scuppered when the malignant dinosaurs that are the Democratic Unionist Party, whose support Theresa May bought with a billion pounds of our money, objected to the proposals about the Border. Who knows what they will have been promised to get to today’s deal? The Irish Prime Minister, Leo Varadkar, was attacked for putting the interests of his country before ours, the abuse heaped upon him obviously exacerbated by his being gay and half-Indian. And during the week, Davis admitted to a Commons Select Committee that there were no impact assessments on the effect of our leaving, although he had said on a previous occasion that Theresa May was reading them. And then he giggled. He giggled! But where is the outrage from those who had previously believed him? There was a time when people resigned for lying. Now they just giggle, blame gay foreigners and carry on letting you pay their fat salaries.

And there is Trump. And Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who drove a tax bill through the Senate on the middle of the night that no one had actually read, 500 pages affecting people’s lives for decades to come which Democrats were given one hour to peruse. Republicans, with one honourable exception, voted for tax cuts for billionaires, voted for tax-free private planes. This Bill was sold as a tax cut for the Middle Class but next year those cuts will be offset by hikes in everything else to pay for it and cuts in services to those needing them most, whilst the billionaires continue to benefit, putting the billion into Bill. Including Donald J Trump, who told us that the bill would cost him money although the abolition of estate duty will save his family more than a billion dollars and his taxes (if indeed he pays any) are cut by 15%. And all the time, his idiotic fans purr and coo with pleasure whilst being fleeced by a conman. He has poisoned peoples minds, a cancer on the body politic, turning his devotees against Robert Mueller, James Comey the FBI, the CIA, the courts, the media, anyone or anything shedding light on his fraudulence and his vile cultist followers spew poison about them on Twitter and Fox. This Tuesday, an alleged child molester, a rabid, religious maniac who thinks homosexuality is akin to bestiality, will be elected Senator for Alabama with the support of the President of the United States and the GOP because they need his vote. They need it to slash welfare and healthcare. They need it to build a Wall. They need it to elect more conservative, intolerant judges to outlaw abortions, to ban Muslims from coming in, to throw Dreamers out, to deny rights to women and gays.  Above all, they need it to prevent this lying, incompetent, blustering, racist, crook from being impeached. This is the world we live in and these are the morons whose votes allow shits to prosper and honesty, integrity and the values we held dear to vanish down the drain. 

So yes, WTF is furious because there is a lot to be furious about. And you know what Dave? A large drink and an early night is not going to make it better.

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Let us at least smile at the sartorial survey of the last seven days, starting  with actress Jennifer Connelly wearing Louis Vuitton.

It seems that granny’s old, discoloured bra blew off the washing line and landed squarely on Jennifer’s chest. What nonsense is this?

Next up, we have fashion blogger Jonysios at Beautycon, London.

His nausea-inducing, ruched trousers have had a serious fallout with his ankles and he is wearing brogues without socks. Meanwhile, the eyebrows! The preposterous pout! The fur! He looks like Joan Crawford as Mildred Pierce.

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To the iHeart Radio festival and singer Demi Lovato, wearing Frolov.

It is not often that WTF wishes that someone had worn less but in this case, anything, a bare leg, a prosthetic leg, a table leg, would have been better than one half of these floppy beige slacks worn with a gold lamé, one-limbed toga. And where are her feet?

To the British Fashion Awards in London where a variety of rubbish was available for inspection, including this terrible Burberry trouser suit on model and actress Agyness Deyn.

WTF is astonished that (i) Burberry would design this (ii) someone would wear it. If you found this in the rummage basket at an Oxfam shop, you would shudder and put it back.

And there was singer Zendaya in a silly blonde wig, wearing Vivetta.

She has horses’ heads on her tits. Horses’ heads. Remember that scene in The Godfather? These horses’ heads are bloodless but are distinctly pervy.

There is also the small matter of the baggy illusion panels…..

Oh here he is again. WTF speaks of racing driver Lewis Hamilton, seen here with Donatella Versace. She looks great. Note that his hanging hankie matches her frock.

Lewis is giving us his Twatty McTwatty look with hiking boots and a necklace over a polo neck and the aforementioned hanging hankie in homage to Captain Sparrow. Why does he always have to look like such a knob? Teams of rocket scientists are currently working around the clock to resolve this conundrum.

Finally from this fiesta of fashion farragos, designer Matty Bovan, presumably wearing something of his own design.

This is Madame Butterfly in full kabuki meets Piglet with a side order of silly sleeves. Daft.

TV health pundit,  Dr Gillian McKeith is back again.

Gillian has been giving in to her inner showgirl, as she did a few weeks back in similarly revolting fashion. Just because you can does not mean that you should. Go and buy a skirt. If you’re short of cash, WTF is sure that her Readers would willingly each contribute 20p for such a deserving cause.

Another serious stinker, this time on singer Janelle Monáe, wearing Thom Browne.

She has an extraordinarily beautiful face, looks fabulous in that hat and the shoes are great. Everything else is awesomely bad, particularly the crotch-casement, the stupid suspended trouser and the handbag like an upturned Louboutin pump.

This last one come from the London Film Festival in early October this year but WTF missed it. However, it is, without question, one of the worst outfits anyone has ever seen. Brace yourselves. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

AND HERE IS ANOTHER WARNING TO GO WITH THE FIRST WARNING!!!!

This is so….labial. It is like examining an excited frog’s vagina in 4D. That is quite bad enough but then there are the sparkly clogs and the thick Ms Marple tights and the way the “skirt’ explodes from her waist like a set of overstarched tablecloths. This is a stupendous stinker.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF stalwart Leslie of Lisson Grove who is fed up with the constant assault on his earholes by non-stop Yuletide songs. Leslie writes, No sooner does the calendar click over to December 1st and it’s like someone fired an ill-tuned starting gun on Christmas Carols. Now, I have no problem with Christmas Carols sung correctly and in an appropriate setting, but it seems that every grocery store is hell bent on reminding me to spend spend, spend like crazy by blasting out the worst of Christmas music ‘sung’ by artists various – Whitney, Britney, Mariah, Pariah etc, who, without the aid of an auto-tune machine, would be unable to carry a tune in a bucket up Regent Street. Supermarket are becoming a no-go area and D.I.Y stores assault our ears with lurid tales of how I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus”. He is right. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF just loves them to bits. And don’t neglect your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, British Fashion Awards 2017, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump Jr, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, James Comey, Politics, Robert Mueller, Roy Moore, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

WTF Mugabe Fall from Grace Special

Hallo Readers,

In 1980 Robert Mugabe, a clever, educated, erudite, passionate, man who had spent much of his life either in prison or in exile, was elected as Zimbabwe’s first black Prime Minister. The country’s fertile soil then produced an abundance of maize, cotton, soybeans, wheat, tobacco, roses and vegetables and it was known as the bread basket of Africa. It has diamonds, platinum and a wealth of minerals. An exciting new age of freedom and prosperity dawned. And then it all went horribly wrong. 

Zimbabweans, both black and white, and equally frightened for the future, fled the country, taking with them their know-how and their skills. Violence was endemic with Mugabe’s Fifth Brigade murdering at least 10,000 people in Matabeland. Protest was repressed, often with torture. In 1987, Mugabe became President and remained President for 30 hideous years. When his economic policies failed, he naturally blamed the remaining white population for the nation’s ill and sanctioned the expropriation of farms, but the new occupants proved unable to run them and so the crops failed, inflation soared, and people were hungry. Elections were rigged. The freedom fighter had become the enemy of freedom. And he went on. And on. He is now 93 years old.

Mugabe may have been a Marxist but his lifestyle was hardly abstemious. After his wife died, he married his former secretary Grace, 41 years his junior, in a lavish Catholic ceremony. Grace had been his mistress for years, had borne him two children and was a (recent) divorcée, things which might normally be impediments to the full ritual. Their first married home was a palace supposedly purchased with Grace’s “savings” whilst their second palace cost £26m, “a gift” from Mugabe’s party Zanu -PF as a “thank you”. They have an estate in Malaysia and a home in Hong Kong and there are allegations of their amassing millions through flogging diamonds from a Zimbabwean mine. Grace shopped until she dropped in Paris and Hong Kong, only she was dropping Zimbabwe’s money rather than her own. WTF suspects that by then the Mugabes could not tell the difference or didn’t care.

Two weeks ago there was a bloodless coup, albeit that the Army insisted that it was not a coup, an impression somewhat undermined by the sight of Maj-General Moyo, in fatigues and beret set at a jaunty angle, appearing on TV to announce that the President was under house arrest. Mugabe declined to resign and a Bill of Impeachment was drawn up. For murder? For torture? For repressing freedom of speech and human rights? Of course not. Instead, he was charged with being very old and allowing Grace to prepare to replace him. WTF is no fan of Grace Mugabe, Heaven knows. But was Mugabe’s worst crime that he was a nonagenarian who failed to keep proper control of his wife?

On Tuesday, Mugabe finally stepped down to be replaced for the interim by Emmerson Mnangagwa, 75, the former Vice-President sacked in September at Grace’s instigation. Mugabe and Grace have been granted immunity, promised safety and allowed to remain in their gracious home, the one “paid for” by Zanu-PF as a thank you for ruining the country and bringing misery to millions and Mugabe will even get his pension, not that he needs one. Joy seemed unconfined as people cried and danced in the streets but what chance of a happy ending? Think about it. Why would Mnangagwa, a man who stuck to Mugabe like shit to a blanket for nearly 40 years, suddenly bring freedom of speech, democracy, riches and justice to a country denied it by the very Government in which he played so willing a part? He and Grace had been jockeying for position to succeed the increasingly frail and ailing Mugabe and just before his dismissal, she described her rival as a serpent whose head should be crushed. Had he not been thrown out on his ear, would he not have stayed on, professing loyalty to the monster he served for so long? One can but hope that he will bring change, including of himself. Because change is desperately required and after 37 years, Zimbabwe and Zimbabweans deserve so, so, much better.

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Let us turn to our review of the week’s woeful clothing. First up we have model Candice Swanepoel at the Victoria’s Secrets Party in Shanghai, wearing Aadnevik. 

Aardvark has taken a Barbie doll dress, called it a bodice and attached it to a pair of large lacy panties with its built-in crotch curtain. 

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The back is also bad.

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This is model Devon Windsor at the same event, wearing Minge Maestro Julien Macdonald.

This is typical of Julien’s oeuvre, a spider’s web with a ‘This way to My Vagina’ arrow and a matching chest strap. Titsy, tacky and tawdry. As usual.

Next up we have singer Miley Cyrus on the set of The Voice, wearing Agnes Ruiz de la Prada.

Twitter exploded on seeing Miley, including WTF aficionado Sue Peters who immediately tweeted WTF in great indignation. Miley is only 5′ 5″ and was somewhat swamped by this mutant shower puff. Not that anyone could have worn it.

 

To the American Music Awards, always a rich source of silliness, starting with singer Macklemore.

Macklemore paid $75 for the suit, which is $70 too much. A pale pastel suit is very Don Johnson in Miami Vice but (i) Don wore two pieces and not three and a tee, not a crumpled shirt (ii) his trousers were always in close proximity to his ankles and (iii) he was in Miami.

Here is actress Tracee Ellis Ross, wearing Roland van der Kemp.

That dress is alive. No really. Particularly between the pudendum and the patellae. Creepy.

Next is singer and talent show judge Nick Cannon wearing, – well, you tell me.

Unless you are a Sikh, no man should wear a pink turban, particularly not with mirrored sunglasses, shorts over black tights, a hanging hankie and hobnailed boots. Even by his own high standards, he looks like a knob.

We meet singer Rachel Platten, wearing Thai Nguyen.

Rachel is wearing sheer trousers, big knickers and a gaping tit window. None of which is acceptable.

And now we have singer Bebe Rexha, wearing August Getty Atelier.

Bebe! Why are you modelling yourself on Kim Kardashian? 

And Bebe! We do not want to see your arse cheeks, peeping out from behind a gauzy curtain like moonlit ostrich eggs. Please put them away.

Another badly-dressed gent, rapper Machine Gun Kelly wearing Comme des Garçons.

It is as if a paint factory threw up all over him. And his trousers have shrunk in the wash. WTF asks again, what has happened to men’s trousers? It is one of the great mysteries of the Age.

Finally, this is Albanian ‘singer’ Bleona Querti wearing Laurel DeWitt.

You only see Bleona at events such as this, where she turns up with her bits on show like the sparkling fishing net she wore to the AMAs in 2014 or at the Grammys in 2015 dressed as a Cyborg blowing smoke out of her arse. After the 2014 AMAs, her poor parents were so mortified that they barricaded themselves inside their home in Albania and refused to come out. In fact, they are probably still inside, with kind neighbours leaving plates of gjellë, the national dish, on their doorstep. Bleona appears to be earning a living as an Angelina Jolie lookalikey but Angelina would never venture out dressed as a metallic hatcheck girl.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF stalwart and aficionado Leslie from Lisson Grove, who is appalled by Black Friday. Over to Leslie. ‘It is a horrible imported piece of nonsense, just a cheap trick to try and part people from their hard earned dosh. And it’s getting worse with many big brands advertising “Black Friday offers must end Monday!!!!!” Anyone with a cockeye can see that the shelves are filled with all their last seasons’ pork and cabbage with anything tasty removed until the silliness has been put to bed…. It really has Got To Go!’

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything. And please keep those excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go coming.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

 

Posted in AMAs, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Emmerson Mnangagwa, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Grace Mugabe, Robert Mugabe, sexism, Uncategorized, Westminster Sex Scandals, Worst Dressed Celebrities, Zimbabwe | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

WTF Sweet Home Alabama Special

Hallo Readers,

Here are some good things about Alabama. Nat King Cole. Emmy Lou Harris. Coretta Scott King. Harper Lee. Joe Louis. Jesse Owens. Rosa Parks. Hank Williams. And here are some bad things about Alabama. Jeff “I can’t recall” Sessions. Roy Moore. His wife Kayla Moore. His brother Jerry Moore. Oh mah Lord.

The Alabamian Senate seat became vacant following Sessions’ appointment as Attorney-General earlier this year. The Republican nominee for the seat is gun-totin’, bible-wavin’, sod-o-mite-hatin’ Judge Roy Moore, a man twice chucked out of judicial office, first for his refusal to remove a statue of the Ten Commandments from his courthouse and second for his refusal to follow a Supreme Court decision overturnin’ a State law against homosexuality. Moore believes that 9/11 was God’s punishment for legalisin’ sodomy and abortion. His campaign is supported by  those champions of the Church, Steve Bannon and Nigel Farage.

But then Satan, in the form of The Washington Post, intervened. Four women claimed that nearly 40 years ago, Moore, then an unmarried DA in his 30’s, molested them as teenagers. One of them had been 14 at the time. Since then, four more women have made similar allegations relating to that period. Moore insists that this is a plot to keep him out of DC and that he never dated anyone without her mother’s permission, which hardly quashes the suspicions about him. His former colleagues in the DA’s office remembered that he had always dated teenagers and a security guard recalled that the local Mall banned Moore because of his interest in young girls.

Moore’s supporters are undeterred. Some question why the women waited so long to come forward (yes, that old chestnut) or justify his behaviour because these had been “consensual relationships”. Hell, Joseph was much older than Mary and they were Jesus’ maw and paw. Jerry Moore likened his brother’s treatment to the persecution of Christ but said that “God is taking care of it”. Kayla Moore produced a letter of support for her husband signed by 50 pastors, some of whom have demanded that their names be removed from it, and she is now suggestin’, without a shred of evidence, that the accusers are being paid. Oh, and there was the tweet from a bot, now deleted, which claimed that someone had heard from someone else’s auntie that a Post reporter was offerin’ women 1000$ (sic) to say that Moore had molested them. Others go further, openly declarin’ that they would rather vote for a paedeophile than for a Democrat. Because of course Obamacare and gun control are so much worse than child molestation. Last week, Joe Walsh claimed that his right to carry a firearm “comes from God.” This week, Alabamian nutters are telling us that He also sanctifies lyin’ and kiddy-fiddlin’. The hypocrisy is just breathtakin’.

Senator Al Franken, who had put Sessions on the spot during the Confirmation process, was yesterday accused of kissing and groping a woman’s breasts in 2006. What Franken did was completely wrong but it does not make Moore’s molestation (or Trump’s) right. And at least Franken has the guts to admit he was wrong and to refer himself to the Ethics Committee. If only others could say the same. The President of the USA in particular.

The irony is that Sessions himself may soon be out of a job, either because he won’t follow Trump’s deranged demands that he prosecute the Clintons for anythin’ and everythin’ (to his credit, Sessions seems to be resistin’) or for lyin’ to Congress. Sadly, Sessions is afflicted by Trumpitis Russki Amnesia, a condition affecting the memory of those involved in Trump’s Presidential campaign, the effect of which is that they forget anythin’ to do with Russia, whether it be a politician or a plate of piroshki. During the Senate Confirmation process, Sessions said that he knew nothin’ about contacts between the campaign and Russia but since then he has done more rowin’ back than Steve Redgrave as evidence emerges drip by drip. One thing is clear. A man with a memory as bad as his is unfit to be the coffee boy in the Justice Department, let alone to run it. Sessions would probably not even remember where Starbucks was, far less who had requested an extra shot in their soy cappuccino.

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We start the week’s sartorial silliness with the loathsome Louise Linton, the Marie-Antoinette of US politics, seen with her husband Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury Secretary. WTF aficionados Jen and Philippa both alerted her to this picture of Mnuchin showing off the new dollar bills with his signature to his designer-clad bride.

This gruesome twosome would do well to remember 1 Timothy 6:10 “the love of money is the root of all evil” At least they have one thing in common. Meanwhile, he should stop bringing his wife to work and she should stop dressing as Coco the Commander. 

To the Glamour Awards and Beyonce’s singer, Solange Knowles, wearing Jean Paul Gaultier.

That split is virtually waist-high and is putting horrified onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment. If a mouldy lemon went to a fancy dress party dressed as Princes Leia in bionic gloves, this is what it would look like.

To the MTV EMA awards in London, and nominee rapper Stefflon Don wearing who even knows what.

Several Muppets died to make the coat and it wasn’t even big enough to cover that excrescence of an outfit.

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This is Demi Lovato wearing Styland.

Demi is dressed as a clown with tits and without feet. Those trousers could sleep a family of four.

Next up we have actor and singer Jared Leto, wearing Gucci. He always does.

He looks like a Dulux colour chart for the range “vomit florals”.

And here we have singer Zara Larsson wearing Alessandra Rich. Sunglasses on!

Ouch! This looks like a bundle of newly washed sheets after someone has inadvertently left a coloured sock in the machine.

The host of the event was singer Rita Ora, wearing Palomo Spain.

CNN is running a brilliant ad, Facts First. This is an apple. Some people might say it’s a banana. They might scream banana, banana, banana, over and over and over again. They might put BANANA in all caps. You might start to believe that it’s a banana. But it’s not. It’s an apple”.  Similarly, this is a dressing gown. Some people might say it’s couture. They might scream couture, couture, couture, over and over and over again. They might put COUTURE in all caps. You might start to believe that it’s couture. But it’s not. It’s a dressing gown.  

And finally, meet singer and MTV nominee Petite Meller.


Petite seems to have overdone it with the blusher and the pink nose makes her look as if she has a nasty cold. She seems to have wandered in from playing a particularly bedraggled, mingetastic danseuse in a film biography of Toulouse-Lautrec.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from Rebecca of Cornwall, who is rightly up in arms following the despicable Daily Telegraph front page on Wednesday, calling Tory MPs opposed to a Brexit without proper Parliamentary scrutiny, “mutineers”. The Daily Mail was not far behind, dubbing them “collaborators”.

This continues the outrageous trend which described the Judges who ruled that Article 50 could not be triggered without a vote as “Enemies of the People” and ‘Traitors” and labelled Remainers as “Saboteurs”. So much for restoring Parliamentary Sovereignty. Both the Mail and the Telegraph are owned by patriots who love this country so much that they live elsewhere to avoid tax. 

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything. And please keep those excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go coming.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

Posted in Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Jeff Sessions, Joe Walsh, MTV EMAs, Nigel Farage, Politics, Roy Moore, sexism, Steve Bannon, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

WTF Nazanin Special

Hallo Readers,

There are many reasons to despise Boris Johnson. His lies. His Brexit lies. His lack of conscience. His betrayal of wives, mistresses, colleagues. His bluster. His failure to master his brief. But Johnson has now plumbed new depths with his negligence and his arrogance exposing a British woman to the risk of years in an Iranian prison, yet refusing to apologise. Worse still, he is unsackable – and he knows it.

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Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe lived, and please God, will again live, in Hampstead, North London, with her husband Richard and their daughter Gabriella, now aged three. He is an accountant, she works as a project manager for the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters. On 16 March 2016, Nazanin, who has dual British and Iranian nationality, took Gabriella to visit her parents for the Iranian New Year. On 3 April 2016, she was arrested, spending most of the next nine months in solitary confinement. Gabriella is still with Nazanin’s parents and has been in Iran for so long that she has forgotten all her English, whilst Richard’s Farsi is less than fluent, making phone calls difficult. In September 2016, Nazanin was sentenced to five years in prison for “allegedly plotting to topple the Iranian regime”, after a “trial” without legal representation or any details about the charges against her.

In the 14 months since taking office, Johnson refused to meet Richard, even in the company of his MP, Tulip Siddiq, although yesterday he graciously changed his mind. As Foreign Secretary, Johnson was clearly briefed that Nazanin had worked for the BBC Media Action’s International charitable project between 2009-2010, which was problematic because the Iranian Government was enraged that the BBC had offered training courses to Iranian journalists, some of whom have been threatened or incarcerated. It was therefore an act of folly for him to tell a Foreign Affairs Committee last week that “If you look at what Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe was doing, she was simply teaching people journalism as I understand it, at the very limit”, not so much adding fuel to the fire as driving an oil tanker into it. After the ensuing uproar, Johnson grudgingly telephoned his Iranian counterpart to say he had been “misrepresented”, but the damage had been done. On Saturday, Nazanin was dragged back to court where Johnson’s comments were cited as proof that she had been engaged in “propaganda against the regime”, which could result in her sentence being doubled.

Any politician, any decent human being, who had wrought such havoc would immediately have apologised to Nazanin and Richard and to Parliament and grovelled to the Iranian Government. But Johnson is far more interested in himself than in a innocent woman, a bereft husband and a little girl separated from both her parents. On Tuesday, he turned up in the Commons, denied all responsibility for what had happened and blamed his critics for “politicising” the issue before eventually conceding that “my words could have clearer”, adding “I’m sorry if any words of mine have been so taken out of context and so misconstrued to cause anxiety to Nazanin’s family.” Any apology beginning with the words “I’m sorry if” is not an apology, it is a fucking insult. Johnson’s was even more insulting because he insisted that the anxiety” (anxiety? terror is more like it) had been caused by his words being taken “out of context”, which was a blatant lie. (When people claim their words have been taken out of context, they never tell you what the context actually was). In any event, his “apology” made no difference because on Wednesday, Iranian TV announced that Johnson’s initial statement was “an unintended confession”.

May has already lost one Brexiteer Cabinet Minister this week. Priti Patel, “resigned” over her unauthorised contacts with Israel , which she then lied about. Last year Patel famously stood in front of the Brexit Bus promising £350m a week for the NHS. Now she has been thrown under it, replaced by Penny Mordaunt, the other one in the photo, who falsely claimed that the UK could not veto Turkey joining the EU, thus allowing millions of Turks to come over and swamp us all.

 

However, May needs to balance her tottering Cabinet between Leavers and Remainers and Johnson is a leading Brexiteer and has to stay put. And so, disgracefully, Tories spent the week defending the indefensible, maintaining that Johnson has apologised, which he has not, and that attacks should not be made on the Foreign Office but on Iran. As if they do not know that it is the oafish, preening, Johnson, a man patently unfit for his (or any) role, who is the one under attack; as if they believe that anyone condones Iran’s outrageous conduct. But a Tory Government is far more important than some inconsequential North London family and so they deflect blame, enabling Johnson to pursue his squalid, political ambitions over the freedom and safety of people whose interests he is supposed to protect. Scum always rises to the top. And, in Johnson’s case, it looks like he is staying there whilst Nazanin Zaghary-Ratcliffe languishes in prison. For shame.

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We begin our review of the week’s fashion foul-ups at The Inside Soap Awards in London, always a prime source of sartorial shite, with soap star Gemma Merna wearing House of CB.

House of CB specialises in dressing soap stars in titsy, tawdry clothing, all peekaboo, under-boob and Minge Moments. Hideous.

Next up we have actress Diane Kruger at the Inaugural Indiewire Honors in LA, wearing Dior.

Lederhosen with genitalia curtains, also in leather. Yurgle. Meanwhile, the choker makes Diane’s head seem attached to her neck with masking tape.

This is French actress Josephine de la Baume, at the London premiere of Murder on the Orient Express, wearing Self-Portrait.

This looks like a half-knitted sweater Granny had to abandon unexpectedly when her false teeth fell out and she got distracted. As for the shoes, they are simply beyond hideous.

Next up is singer Mary J. Blige at the Hollywood Film Awards, wearing Zuhair Murad.

Like a circus ringmaster with nipple pasties.

Here is the thing about nipple pasties. You should not wear them because you should not be wearing anything needing nipple pasties. But if you do need them, let them at least be the same colour as your nipples. That is all there is to be said about nipple pasties.

And now the Country Music Awards 2017 in Nashville, where horror is always in abundance.  Here is actor and singer Rudy Mancuso.

Who lent him that bomber jacket – Giant Haystacks?

More nonsense in the shapes of LoCash, aka Chris Lucas (left) and Preston Brust.

WTF cannot work out what is happening with Chris’ shirt and his trainers are to be deplored whilst Preston seems to have based his look on the late Jackie Collins.

Finally, singer Maren Morris wearing Francesco Scognamilio.

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This seems to be made out of plastic poultry wire with a frilly overhang, genitalia curtains and some nasty growths around the waist, like exploding pustules. And those accessories! Maren’s stylist needs a slap, a P45 and another slap.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF of Islington, who remains aghast at the stupidity of Americans who cling stubbornly to the Second Amendment and then express shock when psychopaths exercise their inalienable right to shoot strangers in churches and schools. The biggest prick of the week was former Congressman, and current radio loudmouth, Joe Walsh (emphatically NOT the one from The Eagles) who tweeted this the day after 26 people were murdered WHILST AT PRAYER in a Baptist chapel in Sutherland Springs, Texas:

You all remember the Bible passage in which the Good Lord sanctions the right to carry a gun (first invented 1364 A.D.) It is in the Book of Colossian Pricks. Hallelujah! 

He (Joe, not the Good Lord) has SO Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And please don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Country Music Awards, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Joe Walsh, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Politics, Second Amendment, Sutherland Springs, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Westminster Sex Scandals, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Spreadsheet of Shame Special

Hallo Readers,

Last week, we had allegations against Labour MP Javed O’Mara who was suspended for all manner of discriminatory comments and yobbery. This week it got much, much worse. Bex Bailey, a respected Labour activist, complained that she had been raped by a Party colleague in 2011. When she told a Party official, she was warned not to report it. 36 Tory MPs were accused of all sorts in a leaked Spreadsheet of Shame, most names tantalisingly redacted and the rest freely available on Twitter. The Defence Secretary resigned, purportedly for putting his hand on a female journalist’s knee 15 years ago. But last night, there was even more. Labour suspended Kelvin Hopkins MP, 76, following an allegation of sexual assault on a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. Then we learned, to the surprise of absolutely no-one, that Sir Michael Fallon had been forced to resign after more allegations of seedy, sexist behaviour. We were surprised to learn that the complaints were made by his Cabinet colleague Andrea Leadsom, who told the Prime Minister that six years earlier, Fallon had made lewd comments to her, put his arm around around her and had also behaved badly to, and about, other women. Given that May had just told the Commons that she would weed out Ministers who behaved in this way, some may feel that Leadsom was right to report him now, but she will cop it big time nonetheless.

In a twist worthy of House of Cards, the Chief Whip Gavin Williamson, who negotiated Fallon’s exit, succeeded him as Defence Secretary, despite never having held Ministerial Office. But then Williamson not only knows where the bodies are buried, but was also Witch Finder General and Gravedigger-in-Chief. His list includes Deputy PM Damian Green, who allegedly subscribed to an adulterers’ website (which he denies). Since then, a young woman journalist has accused him of putting his hand on her knee; he claims he thought it was the tablecloth. Michael Garnier sent his female PA to buy sex toys. Stephen Crabb has “inappropriate relations with women”. Crabb, a ‘devout Christian’, resigned as a Minister last year for sexting, and admits to have been at it again, making outrageous remarks to a women he was interviewing for a job and then texting her to tell her he would like to have sex with her. Mrs Crabb must be thrilled. What a catch. A wealth of unnamed MPs were said to be “inappropriate” or “handsy” with women or men and sometimes with both. Some on that list may have been unfairly accused (several have outed themselves and protested their innocence, like Rory Stewart) and the authors of the list are unknown. However, that still leaves some important men, often pissed on subsidised alcohol, in London during the week away from their wife or partner and possessed of a pronounced sense of entitlement. As Isabella put it in Measure for Measure“Man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he’s most assured”. To date, no Tory MP has been suspended, although there seems to be plenty of grounds to do so in some cases.

Oddly, some on the Spreadsheet of Shame are chastised for consensual workplace relationships, including Home Secretary Amber Rudd, who, like her partner, is  single. Another female, married, Minister is accused of “fornicating”, for God’s sake, as if we were living in 17th Century Salem. One (male) MP is said to like sex whilst wearing women’s perfume. Others had gay sex. So what? It does a major disservice to those harassed or sexually assaulted to lump the perpetrators together with people in a genuine relationship, whether straight or gay. 

Inevitably, some MPs have expressed outrage at what they term misplaced political correctness and complain that men are no longer able to flirt. Flirt! As if leering at women and handling them like meat is flirting. These arrogant little men – in all parties – pontificate on others’  behaviour but consider themselves free to lay hands on, or to proposition, women (and men) who are, in their view, there to be the subject of crude, sexual “banter’, to be ogled or pawed or badgered into bed and then bought off when they complain about it. When he resigned, Fallon invoked the Weinstein defence, namely that things used to be different. They were but only because people were too scared to speak out, to be dismissed as fantasists or liars and quietly got rid of. And with good reason. This week the White House Press Secretary said that the women who had accused Trump of molesting them were all “liars”. This week, the Daily Mail, the UK version of Fox News, launched a vile attack on Kate Maltby for making harassment allegations against Damian Green, painting her as an opportunist seeking to launch her political career. Colleagues are already smearing Leadsom for speaking out and are furious with her for rocking the boat. This week, successful journalists like Anne Robinson, Jan Moir and Sarah Vine mocked women for not “manning up”. But people should not have to speak up about being groped, harassed or assaulted. They should be able to do their job or meet or interview an MP without being groped or harassed or assaulted. Here are some words for those affronted, handsy, victimised, MPs to reflect upon. Respect. Dignity. Professionalism. Self-restraint. Equality. Keep your hands to yourself. The days of droit de seigneur are at an end. Get over it or get the hell out.

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This week was Halloween. When you survey the week’s sartorial shockers, you will see that it was hard to tell who was in costume and who was not, starting with singer Ellie Goulding at the Bulgari Party in New York, wearing Redemption.

Ellie looks like a bat bedecked in Bulgari diamonds.

Still in New York, we meet another bat, French actress Adèle Exarchopoulos wearing Louis Vuitton at a Louis Vuitton event.

What is it with this bat thing? Did you know that Melbourne, Australia was once called Batmania? Maybe someone from Melbourne now works for LV. Or maybe the design team at LV has gone stark, staring, mad. WTF is voting for option two. Adèle looks miserable as hell and understandably so.

And here is actress Jennifer Connelly, also wearing Louis Vuitton. She always does as she is one of LV’s muses.

Jennifer is moonlighting in a Bavarian Bierkeller. Ja! WTF feels to compelled to criticise the fake tan, a shade that should now be known as Trumporange.

Still in New York, we go to the 2017 Innovator Awards to find supermodel Naomi Campbellwearing Jean-Paul Gaultier.

One sleeve is bad enough, but one leg as well? Even Naomi cannot make this work. And at first sight, it looks as if she has a giant pimple on her nose.

No. Just no.

Another guest was dancer/choreographer Ryan Heffington, wearing a most preposterous ensemble.

Ryan is wearing a patterned shirt and giant matching trewsies with one of the most disturbing crotches WTF has ever seen, like a massive codpiece.  

We cross the States to Hollywood and the Latin American Music Awards where we encounter singer Alejandra Guzmán.

The skirt and train make her look like a contortionist standing with her trunk twisted 90 degrees to face the camera. In case you are wondering, illusion panels are holding the thing together with a zip up the back. Just terribly, terribly, terrible.

We conclude at the Pride of Britain Awards in London with McFly singer Tom Fletcher and his wife Giovanna. Giovanna looks lovely. Tom, on the other hand, does not.

There has been some rascal suiting in the blog over the years but this is bad. Tom’s jacket is squeezing him tighter than a boa constrictor’s cuddle and is at least two sizes too small, the trousers are decidedly snug and the shirt is an affront on its own, let alone when paired with the suit. The patterns remind WTF of a clown about to squirt water in your eye.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in and your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go (there was no room for it this week, what with everything going on). Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Gavin Willliamson, Jared O'Mara, Michael Fallon, Politics, sexism, Spreadsheet of Shame, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Westminster Sex Scandals, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments