WTF The Worst of the Worst Poll Special

Hallo Readers,

 

Imagine that you were to invite someone to your house for the weekend. You steam-clean the carpets, air the spare bed, and get the caterers in for a slap-up dinner. Then he goes on Twitter and announces that he wants to buy your back garden. You, somewhat surprised, reply that your back garden is not for sale, and the idea is absurd. At which point, the guest tweets that the visit is off, and that you have insulted him. And then he calls you ‘nasty’, a word he only ever deploys for women who contradict or criticise him. And then he attacks you for not forking out your share of club dues. All because you did not agree to sell him something that was never for sale, and which he had not previously mentioned he wanted to buy.

Do not adjust your brain. This is not a test. This is the President of the USA in August 2019. He fancied putting in a bid for Greenland, the semi-autonomous state that is part of the Kingdom of Denmark. He did not convey this interest to Denmark, or for that matter to the 56,000 inhabitants of Greenland. He did not mention it when Queen Margrethe II invited him to pop over to Copenhagen for some hygge and a meal at the Palace. The first she, and Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, knew about it was when they saw it in the papers. The first they knew that the trip was off was when they saw it on Twitter. This is not how international diplomacy is supposed to work.

Trumpy’s non-appearance is unlikely to upset the Royal Household, where they are doubtless running around shouting ‘Fedt!’, which WTF aficionado Anya Palmer assures me is the Danish for ‘great!’ They do not have to smile politely over the Aebleflæsk as he rambles on about how He is the new King of Israel, and how He is the Chosen One, and how surgeons in El Paso came running out of the operating rooms to greet him when he came to ‘console’ the victims of the shooting his vile rhetoric had inspired.  In short, they have had a result. But the USA has not had a result. The World has not had a result. Because this man is unhinged. He and reality are no longer on speaking terms. He is threatening the global economy. He is threatening NATO. He is becoming more and more erratic. It is too late to hope that members of the Republican Party will find a pair of balls between them, which leaves impeachment as the only option. Because this is not funny any more.

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We turn to our first ever Worst of the Worst Poll. The word ‘shocker’ has insufficient nuance to describe what awaits you, namely fourteen ghastly ‘outfits’, some of them so small that they do not even count as outfits. Indeed Bobby Norris, formerly of TOWIE, should probably never have qualified at all. Readers are counselled to exercise extreme caution when accessing pictures of Bobby, the runaway winner of the Summer Stinkers in 2014 and 2015.

Looking at the winners since 2012, the early ones were either very mingetastic or very, er, cocky. It is with relief that one gets to the four recent winners, all of them male (admittedly the 2018 Christmas Turkey was an all-male affair) and to see that however truly preposterous they look, they are at least wearing actual clothes.

OK Readers! You’re off! You can vote for as many of these champions as you like, as often as you like, and leave unpleasant comments to go with your votes. The results will be announced next week. Enjoy your August Bank Holiday and that unusual yellow thing in the sky, beaming out warmth. It is called  “the sun”.

HERE WE GO!!!!!

1. Adrianne Curry, model and celebritee. WTF Christmas Turkey 2012

The first ever winner of any WTF competition, Adrianne Curry, set a standard for others to follow – underboob, no panties, camel toe, and thrush-inducing tinfoil trousers. Yurgle. Take that, 2013 onwards!

2. Nadine Merabi, designer. Summer Stinker 2013

Nadine designs fancy frocks for celebritees and WAGS, and appeared at a footballers’ charity ball in Manchester in this mega-mingetastic creation made from an old pair of tights scattered with iron filings, and displaying the ugliest side- seam ever seen North of the Watford Gap.

3. Lil’ Kim, rapper. WTF Christmas Turkey 2013

Lil’ Kim picked up Adrianne’s camel toe challenge and ran with it all the way to the top of the podium of the 2013 Christmas Turkey. Ouch. And again Ouch. Call for the Canesten.

4. Bobby Norris, TOWIE celebritee. WTF Summer Stinker 2014

CAUTION! AND ANOTHER CAUTION TO GO WITH THE FIRST CAUTION!

I know. I KNOW!!!! Bobby is wearing a cock-sock disappearing up his crack at the back. And he has colour-coordinated his cocktails and his eyebrows are more arched than Joan Crawford. Shocking. And then some. 

5. Bai Ling, actress. WTF Christmas Turkey 2014

Compared to Bobby, Bai Ling is almost overdressed. Just because she was attending the premiere of a film called The Key is no excuse for draping one such over your chest and calling it a top. And there can never be an excuse, not even of any kind, for wearing a minge marigold.

6. Bobby Norris (Again). WTF Summer Stinker 2015

THIRD CAUTION! AND A FOURTH CAUTION TO GO WITH THE THIRD CAUTION!

At this point, WTF decided to ban Bobby from entering any more competitions on the basis that he had stopped wearing clothes altogether. He looks like a tattooed string bean in a willy-warmer.

7. Charlotte Dawson, celebritee. Christmas Turkey 2015

2015 was a very bad year for visible body parts. No wonder she has her hair covering her face. And those hooves are horrible.

8. Shawn Everett, sound technician. WTF Summer Stinker 2016

It was a relief to welcome Shawn into the Summer Stinker Poll 2016 as he turned up at the Grammys that year wearing actual clothes. Horrible clothes. But clothes. Hurrah!

9. Baddiewinkle, internet sensation. WTF Christmas Turkey 2016

I mean, this is sort of deeply wonderful as well as appalling. Baddiewinkle, née Helen Ruth Elam, was a very sprightly 88 when this picture was taken. She is still going strong at 91. 

10. Sundy Carter, US reality star. WTF Summer Stinker 2017

Sundy was doing that look-at-me!!!!!!! thing you do when you have no talent to speak of and want to get your picture in the papers. Removing the criss-cross tit-tape must have been absolute agony, which serves her right. And the blue lipstick makes her look cyanotic.

11. Lewis Hamilton, racing driver. WTF Christmas Turkey 2017


Ah Lewis! Where would the blog be without him? People keep voting for him because with all his zillions of pounds, he dresses like a prat, but he thinks he looks good. Newsflash. He doesn’t. And he seems to have forgotten his trousers.

12. Jeremy Scott, head designer at Moschino. WTF Summer Stinker 2018

If a bank manager keen on falconry went to a fancy dress as Russell Crowe in Gladiator, this is what he would look like.

13.A$AP Rocky, rapper. WTF All Male Christmas Turkey 2018

He is head to toe Gucci. The suit is fine. But the frilled headscarf and silk dressing gown are very Princess Margaret meets Noël Coward. I bet he wasn’t dressed like this during his recent sojourn in a Swedish prison. where this getup would not have been warmly received. 

14. Lyali Hakaraia, stylist.  Summer Stinker 2019

And so our last winner, who is just plain creepy. The beard looks badly stuck on, there is the threat of glimpsing what we do not wish to see, and what are those golden tassels dangling down? *baffled*

 

 

 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in as well as your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

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Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Politics, Royal Family, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF reminder – no blog today!

Hallo Readers,

 

This is always a test of whether you read right down to the end each week. If you did, you’d have known that WTF is taking a break. So I am not around blog-wise until 23 August, when you will be able to read the rant (onTrump probably – the man is a sociopath), and also to take part in the WTF Worst of the Worst Poll, all the winners of the Christmas Turkey and Summer Stinker Polls since December 2012 – 14 truly disgusting specimens of fashion horror.

 

Just so you don’t get complete withdrawal symptoms, here is Julianne Moore wearing Givenchy. Givenchy! The house that used to dress Audrey Hepburn…..

This is the lovechild of a Playboy bunny and a collapsed parachute. It is very, very bad, as are the bootees. The stylist needs a slap, a P45 and another slap.

 

Now entertain yourselves for the next two Fridays. See you on 23 August.

 

Be good x

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

WTF No Welcome in the Hillsides Special

Hallo Readers,

The Britain Trump completed the first full week of his hopefully short-lived tenure as Prime Minister and in truth, it did not go that well. In England, the East Midlands and the North West are under water, following torrential rain, as if heralding what was to come in the early hours of Friday morning,

 namely the people of Brecon and Radnorshire in Wales telling him where to stick his party, his candidate and his plan for a no-deal Brexit. In truth, it may have had quite a bit to do with fact that the former Tory MP, Chris Davies, had pleaded guilty of fiddling his Parliamentary expenses, prompting his constituents to get up a petition and recall him. This necessitated a by-election and the Conservatives selected……former Tory MP Chris Davies. Good call, chaps.  The voters did not accord a welcome in the hillsides to Davies, and little wonder. If you send back a steak in a restaurant because it is rancid, you do not serve the same steak second time round. As a result, they voted for the Liberal Democrat candidate Jane Dodds, who won by 1,425. She, had done a deal with both the Greens and Plaid Cymru, overturning Davies’ 8,000 majority. It also did not help Johnson that the Brexit Party split the Brexit vote. Be that as it may, his Parliamentary majority is down to 1, and this from an area that voted to leave in 2016. That was probably because they were promised a very favourable deal by….oh yes. Boris Johnson. And his majority could go down to zero shortly, because another Tory MP is thinking of defecting to the Liberal Democrats.

The new PM did a grand tour of the Union this week, albeit  that he, as Leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party, is about to preside over the demise of the Conservatives AND the Union, all in the name of a Brexit he does not really believe in. The EU had already told him where to shove his plan for a renegotiated Brexit. In Scotland, Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, told him to where to shove his plan for a no-deal Brexit, and he had to sneak out through Nicola Sturgeon’s back door, having been booed by unfriendly Scots at the front door. In Wales, the Welsh Government told him where to shove his plan for a no-deal Brexit. Johnson left one hundred well wishers standing about in the rain (it rains a lot in  Wales, that is why those valleys are so bloody green) and did not speak to them or the public, although he did cuddle a Welsh chicken, pissing off the press who were huddled into a shed like battery-hens, unlike the fine specimens on show. In Northern Ireland, he played political footsie with the Democratic Unionist Party, whose allegiance had been purchased by Theresa May for a billion quid, but was told where to shove his ‘no-backstop, no-EU negotiations’, demand by both the leader of Sinn Fein and by the Irish Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar. 

Johnson and the First Girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, have commandeered the bigger flat at 11 Downing Street, which has four bedrooms, leaving the nominal occupant of that building, Chancellor Sajid Javid, crammed into the smaller two bedroomed flat at 10 Downing Street – despite the fact that Johnson and Symonds have no children, whereas the Saj and his wife have four. Maybe Johnson needs the space for when his kids by his former wife come to stay, not to mention the love child, and any other ones he may have, but whose existence he refuses to confirm or deny.  Be that as it may, the happy young couple should not rush to pick out new wallpaper and drapery just yet- they may not be there very long.

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We start our review of the sartorial silliness of the last seven days with actor and talk-show host James Corden, out and about wearing Gucci.

Just recently, James has gone mega-poncey in Gucci. Readers may remember his appearance at the Tony Awards in a floral Gucci suit and now he is parading about in a £1,600 striped cardigan looking like a nautical deckchair. By the way, WTF would wager a tenner that James could have bought something similar in H&M for £16.

To the London premiere of Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon A Time in Hollywood  Once Upon A Time in Hollywood where we find actress Lena Dunham wearing Arlington 16.

It is of course always possible that Lena was wearing this for a bet. Because the other possibility is that someone actually told her that she looked good dressed as a Mae West tribute act.

And here we are at the US premiere of the same movie with actor Eli Roth.

Here are three unpleasant items of clothing, made all the more unpleasant by their being worn together. John Travolta would have turned down this outfit for Saturday Night Fever and he was not even a star then.

Here is singer and presenter Kristen Chenoweth wearing something absolutely vile.

Aqua Barbie is alive and well and sporting silver bootees.

Peaky Blinders starts a new series shortly and this is Charlene McKenna at the launch party, wearing Manley Studio.

These are another three revolting individual items of clothing, but the worst is the jacket with its pussy peephole and built-in valance. What possessed her to wear this? She could call upon the nearest exorcist – stat.

Here is actor Michael B. Jordan looking like a right prat.

What fresh hell is this? From the chest down, he looks great. From chest to neck he looks ridiculous. No one, and that is no one, can wear a boat neck sweater over a white shirt. 

And now another trio of terribleness, beginning with actress Jackie Cruz  at the premiere of the final series of Orange Is The new Black, wearing LouLou.

What on earth is going on here? She is like a cappuccino in panties.

Next to Comic-Con and actress Ajiona Alexus in Dany Mizrachi.

Ajiona, who is a young Janet Jackson lookalikey, is dressed as the lovechild of a funky chicken and a swimsuit model and the effect is not pretty. The netting on the bodice is the wrong shade for her skintone and looks like a tan-line.

And the last of the trio, octogenarian Joan Collins.   wearing something whose designer has rightly gone to ground. Scroll down slowly…..

The top is pretty, which is more than can be said for the mullet wig, but that is a full-on minge moment. The encrustations are not up to the job, making her appear to have had a particularly savage waxing. They clearly ran out of wax lower down as the feathers are distinctly patchy.

And finally – the moment you have been waiting for. The winner of the WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2019 is……drumroll! ‘Stylist’  Lyali Hakaraia.

Lyall Hakaraia

Lyali had a ferocious four-way fight with Perez Hilton, Lewis Hamilton and Gillian McKeith and edged victory by half a percentage point. Yikes! But you will agree that he is worthy winner.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go is again from WTF aficionado Leslie from Lisson Grove but wow, what a corker. This might be one of the most revolting things WTF has ever seen, and she has seen a few.  Trust me on this. Are you ready? You won’t be. Here are the Cantaloupe Panties. Easy now.

Leslie says ‘in all fairness Nick Jones really should have the kudos for this humdinger….. Scientists have devoted their lives to creating an internet which shares wisdom, intelligence, information, and generally makes the world a better informed place —— however, occasionally something like this peeps through. I doubt if this will pass your “Hayes” test but honestly, if (in my grindr days) I met someone wearing these babies, I’d head for the hills.’ Agreed. I feel ill. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Put a smile on WTF’s face by keeping those comments rolling in, as well as your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. WTF is having a break and will be back on 31 August. Be good x

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Met Gala 2014, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2019

Hallo Readers,

Usually the annual WTF Summer Stinker Poll is a politics free zone, but it would be impossible to publish anything this Friday without mentioning one of the most ridiculous weeks in British history. We all knew it was coming, but it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive. And this is what we arrived at.

Be still my beating heart. On Tuesday, we learned that this absolute buffoon, this charlatan, this barefaced liar, this adulterous, love-child-spawning, chancer,would shortly be ensconced in 10 Downing Street and poised to lead us to, and then over, the Brexit precipice. And like some two-bit Southern Baptist preacher, he will get us there with optimism! And with enthusiasm! Believe and We Will Leave! Click your heels together three times and say ‘There’s no place like home’ and you’ll be there. Only in this case, home is shit creek with a serious paddle shortage.

On Wednesday, Donald Trump, another charlatan, pathological liar and adulterer, praised Johnson and boasted that people were saying (Trump-speak for he just made it up) that he was ‘the Britain Trump’. He is, but only in the ‘buy one, get one free’, sort of way. After a waffling speech better suited to Sports Day at St Trinian’s outside his new residence and before the world’s press, Johnson then assembled the most dismal Cabinet in living memory, a Hammer House of Horror of right-wing fervour, mediocrity, ignorance, mendacity, and sheer incompetence. Say hallo to dim-as-a-dead-lightbulb Priti Patel and to pipsqueak Gavin Williamson, sacked by Mrs Maybe for lying and leaking respectively. Blow a kiss to Esther McVey, who lied blatantly to the House of Commons. Wave to Dominic Raab, the former Brexit Secretary (for about twenty minutes), who never bothered to read the Good Friday agreement, but still felt free to opine on the vexed issue of the Irish border, and who admitted that he had only recently realised the importance of the English Channel. Doff your cap to Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright of Westminster, who is the new Leader of the House of Commons and who is allowed to attend Cabinet by special Old Etonian dispensation. He talks in Latin and so people think he is ever-so-intellectual. And this dismal collection of numpties, nobodies, and ne’er-do-wells constitute the new Government. Our new Government. Kill me now.

On Thursday, as if signalling His displeasure with what was occurring in Britain, the Almighty (not Trump, Him Upstairs), sent us the hottest July day since records began and our already-suffering citizens sweltered and sweated while train lines melted, tarmac cracked and tempers flared, followed by thunder, lightning, flooding and all sorts. The frogs and locust are probably on their way. Get ready, Britain, for a roller-coaster ride – with no safety certificate.

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And so the main business – the Summer Stinker Poll!!!!!! All you have to do is to vote for the ghastly fashion disasters below, all of them vying for the coveted title of the WTF Summer Stinker 2019. None of that Single Transferable Vote nonsense here – just vote as often as you like, and for as many as you like, and tell all your friends and neighbours to do the same. Are you ready? Here they are, in first name alphabetical order, denoting no preference whatsoever on the part of WTF, the compiler of this shower of sartorial shite.

1. B Simone, rapper.

B pitched up at the BET Awards in a sheer condom with frilled boobage, an encrusted minge, and what looks suspiciously like a folded antimacassar around her neck.

2. Billy Porter, entertainer.

Frankly, anything that Billy has worn on the Red Carpet recently would have been eligible for nomination, but this suit from the Critics’ Choice Awards gets the nod because it is wrinkled like a sharpei’s bum and has a bow large enough to wrap around Broadway – twice.

3. Celine Dion, singer.

The last time WTF saw that many bones, they were in an ossuary. Extra minus points for the ridiculous shoulders, sunglasses worn in the dark, and the black leather cap like a pervy private.

4. Charly Arnolt, actress and WWE announcer.

Not so much a woman, more a fluorescent tangerine with globular tits. Just. Very. Bad.

5. Cynthia Erivo, actress.

Like an exploded candy-floss maker. The good news is that she is wearing panties. The bad news is that you can see them.

6. Gillian McKeith, TV nutritionist (right). Her daughter (left) is not a candidate.

Will this be third time lucky for Gillian?  She has been robbed of the award twice running. A polo-neck body, a fishing net in lieu of a skirt, a pair of foul velvet bootees, a cape made from an old curtain, and a toy crown do not an outfit make. Except for her.

7. Halsey, singer.

Halsey looks like an anaemic frog in a bikini. Great hair, though.

8. Kim Kardashian West, pointless celebrity.

Ouch! It is one thing to have straps over your nipples. It is quite another to have them so tight that there is spilth above and below, leaving Kim with imprimatur for days afterwards.

9.Lewis Hamilton, racing driver.

A distinguished former winner, Lewis is the ultimate fashion victim. Dressed like this, he should consider making an application to the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board.

10. Lil Kim, rapper.

As WTF remarked at the time, if a scaly anteater went to a fancy dress party as Lil’ Kim, this is what it would look like. The Chanel handbag resembles a wrecking ball and is stupid.

11. Linda Cardellini, actress.

A raspberry muppet with a mullet. And a bow, just in case there was the smallest danger of someone thinking that Linda was underdressed.

12. Lyali Hakaraia, designer and stylist (!)

He is wearing a prick-skimmer as a skirt, which is horrific enough, but more offensive still is the abundant man-cleavage. Button that coat, sir!!!! And then go away.

13. Nana Ghana, actress.

Nana is wrapped up like a birthday present, the fabric is cutting into her right boob, and she is wearing her bedroom mules. None of this makes any sense.

14. Nick Cannon, entertainer and TV host.

This is preposterous. Why is Louis Vuitton making bullet proof vests with matching gas mask and deck shoes? On what occasion would you wear them, other than during a civil war in Monte Carlo?

15. Olivia Munn, actress.

The material looks like the scum floating on top of polluted water and she appears to be micturating, courtesy of the minge waterfall.

16. Odell Beckham Jr, American footballer.

Odell is dressed as a Prada postman complete with sewn-in mailbag.

17. Patrick Starr, makeup artist.

Patrick! Bless him! He should be on top of a Christmas tree.

18. Perez Hilton, personality and celebrity blogger.

Look Readers, this man publishes a blog featuring the week’s worst dressed celebrities. As Jesus was wont to remark, Physician, heal thyself.

19. Poppy, singer.

This seems to be a Hell’s Angel’s nightgown with a tit-frill and spiked collar, while Poppy’s head appears to have been photoshopped onto it.

20. Post Malone, rapper.

WTF hates a tattooed face almost above all things, and she is also resoundingly unimpressed by the preponderance of baby pink studded leather WITH MATCHING BOOTS. Even more unpleasant is the fit of the trousers with built-in crotch-snuggle.

21. Shawn Everett, sound technician.

Shawn is another distinguished former winner of this competition, and now seems he is making a bid for a double crown (a feat previously achieved only by Bobby Norris in his assorted cock socks), dressed as an extra from Game of Thrones.

22. Tiffany Young, actress.

This is part pantomime boy, part Minge Moment and the voile boots are very, very, silly.

OK Readers, now it’s your turn. WTF has made the selection. Now you get to select from that selection. You can vote as many times as you like, and as often as you like, and the polling form allows you to leave unpleasant comments to go with your votes – or you can comment in the usual manner below. The results will be published next Friday. See you then. Be good.

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Dominic Raab, Donald Trump, Esther McVey, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Gavin Willliamson, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel, Russian hacking, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Squad Special

Hallo Readers,

Here’s the thing. If you are going to be a stone-cold racist, at least have the indecency to own up to it. Don’t suggest that people should go back to places they have never been to, or have run away from and have become not just a citizen of your country, but an elected representative, and then pretend you are not a racist. Don’t whip up a crowd of imbeciles with a collective IQ in double digits and smirk happily as they chant your racist views, tweet what a great crowd they are, send your lickspittle out in front of the press to stick up for you, but then, as it dawns upon you that lots of people, including those whose votes you really need to get re-elected (and thus dodge the legal proceedings which might well land you in jail) think you and your imbecilic crowd are really, really, racist, then condemn that same crowd in whose adulation you basked like a hippo in a muddy lake. In short, don’t be Donald Trump.

Trump considers people of colour to be inferior to white people. Many years ago, he and his KKK-loving father refused to rent apartments to blacks and were twice sanctioned for it. He wanted the Central Park Five to be executed, even after they had been proved innocent. He claimed Barrack Obama was not born in the United States and a Muslim. (The evidence, like the proverbial cheque, was always imminent, but never actually produced). Black political candidates were unqualified, even if they went to Harvard or Yale. Black athletes who took the knee were sons of bitches. Black TV presenters were the dumbest men or women on television. And black politicians who criticised him were and are crazy, dangerous and enemies of America. All this we knew about. But this week, he went further. Four radical female newly-elected, Democrats in Congress, all non-white, were told they should go back where they came from, even though three of them were born in the US and the fourth has lived here since she was ten years old and naturalised at seventeen. That apparently was not racist because he was criticising their politics, their hatred of America, their criticism of the country that took them, or their parents, in. And so the GOP and Fox News backed him up because that is what they do. They failed to contradict the lies he was spewing about who the women were, what they wanted, and what they had said. But even the GOP struggled to watch a baying crowd chanting of Rep Ilhan Omar, born in Somalia, ‘send her back’, for fully thirteen seconds whilst Trump paused to emphasise the momentum of that chant. Because it was chilling. It was terrifying. It suggested to every immigrant, to every child of an immigrant, to everyone who was not white, that their place was not in America, whatever the colour of their passport and the wording on their birth or naturalisation certificate. It suggested that they had no right to criticise their country, whatever the First Amendment says. It suggested that if their politics differed from Trump’s, they might either find themselves chained to the armrest on a jet heading overseas or detained charged with treason. And to avoid that fate, they had to be supine. As servile turncoat Senator Lindsay Graham told reporters, it wasn’t that Omar was Somali because ‘I think a Somali refugee embracing Trump would not have been asked to go back’. So buy your MAGA hat, keep quiet and hope for the best. Or else.

You do not have to agree with the four women – The Squad – to deplore what is happening. Both Omar and Rashida Tlaib have made some deeply offensive  antisemitic comments. But you do not deport people for anti-Semitic statements, and certainly not in the name of the flag Trump is so keen to dry-hump at every opportunity. You do not question people’s citizenship and loyalties because their politics are different to your own. You either live in a democracy or you don’t. And a democracy does not threaten political opponents with deportation or suggest that the colour of their skin makes them lesser citizens. This time Trump backed down and sold his supporters down the river. But he will make it up to them. He  will say it again. Because he knows that stoking up their fears and their prejudices is the best way to retain the White House in 2020 – whatever the cost.  God Bless America – and God knows, it needs all the help it can get.

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We start our weekly consideration of curious clothing with pointless youth and professional son, Brooklyn Beckham, wearing Ralph Lauren.

What is Brooklyn Beckham actually for? Anyway here he is somewhere or other looking like a 1970’s history professor at a second-rate university. Hate the hair. Hate the splayed collar. Hate the tie. In short, just go away.

To Centre Court, Wimbledon, and Mirka Federer, wife of losing finalist, the wonderful Roger Federer, wearing Zimmerman.

During the match (which was totally tops), WTF received a communication from aficionado Katie from Golders Green, who was most unhappy with Mirka’s £750 frillfest, which, she said, seemed to have been stolen off a Victorian china doll. And she’s right. All Mirka needs is a bonnet.

Still in London, we are at the ITV Summer Party, graced by the presence of husband-and-wife combo and sometime X Factor Judges Robbie Williams and Ayda Field. She is wearing a dress by The Vampire’s Wife.

Robbie’s eyes are popping, as if something has been wedged up his rear end. WTF is more than happy with the diamanté butterfly brooches on his pinstripe suit, but not with the absence of something underneath the said suit, like a teeshirt. As for Ayda, whatever she is wearing, it looks very slithery and over-ruched, like something run up from granny’s old bedspread.

And now to the European premiere of The Lion King, where A listers and D listers mingled with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. First we have British singer Raye,wearing Vivienne Westwood.

Dame Viv has good days and bad days. This is a bad day. Not only does the dress look like tinfoil, but it has very ridiculous crimped and crumpled tit covers, closely resembling the way you roast a chicken with a beer bottle in the cavity.

Next up, we have TV presenter, Maya Jama, wearing Rami Kadi.

It was all going so well from shoulder to waist until the explosion of frothiness reminiscent of waves on a heaving sea at sunrise. And there is the inevitable sight of arse cheek or what might be arse cheek. WTF will say it again – arse cheek should not be on show. Or make you think that it might be.

Then there was singer Pharrell Williams, wearing Chanel.

Lovely jacket. Silly shorts. And why is he wearing white socks? Bar mitzvah boy goes bonkers…..

And finally, superstar Beyoncé wearing Vietnamese designer Cong Tre.

Why is this even happening? She is stunning. She does not need to wrap herself up like a Ferrero Rocher with no knickers.

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This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado, Leslie (yes, him again) and from WTF aficionado WTF (yes, her again) and it can be taken very shortly. The Republican Party. See above. Enablers. Cowardly, disgusting fuckers. The GOP deserves every iota of contempt. It’s Got to Go. And hopefully it will go and very soon.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please send in your comments, as they have been sparse of late and you know how WTF frets when she is denied sight of signs of life out there. And don’t forget your utterly splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, Donald Trump, Duchess of Sussex, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, racism, Uncategorized, Wimbledon, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

WTF Law and Order Special

Hallo Readers, 

Luton’s answer to Nelson Mandela, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, or, to use his nom de brutalité, Tommy Robinson, is a racist thug with more than a passing acquaintance with the inside of Her Majesty’s Prisons, having been variously banged up for assault, financial and immigration fraud, public order offences and, most recently, contempt of court. His criminal record is longer than the queue for the loos at Wimbledon’s Centre Court, and you could be forgiven for thinking that Robinson’s principal contribution to the justice system was in providing m’Learned Friends with frequent opportunities to top up their bank accounts. But to many, he is now seen as a fighter for freedom of speech and a victim of State oppression. Except of course that he is isn’t.

Last year Robinson was already on a suspended sentence for contempt of court, namely giving details about the ongoing trials of alleged paedophile gangs in defiance of a court reporting order prohibiting identification of the defendants or mention of their offences until the end of the trial, because there were other ongoing trials. And then, whoops, he did it again, this time in Leeds, where a gang of paedophiles from Huddersfield were on trial, again subject to reporting restrictions. Why did Robinson act in this way? Because these were gangs of Asian men of Pakistani heritage, and they were Muslim. The rationale of Robinson’s behaviour was that the British public needed to know that these trials were going on because they had been “hushed up” and the police were failing to act. Despite the fact that the police had indeed arrested the men, the crown Prosecution Service  had put them on trial, the trials being heard inside the very buildings Robinson was cavorting outside in his self-appointed role as a ‘citizen-journalist’.  Even people charged with disgusting crimes are entitled to a fair trial, and indeed they could walk free without one if there was a substantial risk of  justice being seriously prejudiced, thereby stopping the very thing that Robinson claimed he wanted, i.e. justice for the victims.

Robinson went to prison, was freed on appeal because of questions about the fairness of his trial, and was retried last week, whereupon he was again found guilty. Yesterday he did the Long Walk of Non Freedom back to prison for nine months, although he has already served most of that time. At which point the neanderthals who espouse his noble causes of stopping Brexit hating Muslims, and let’s-get-back-to-the-halcyon-(white, Christian)-days-of-1964, ran amok in Parliament Square, demonstrating their commitment to the rule of law and freedom of speech by attacking journalists, causing criminal damage, and breaking up anti-Brexit protests. Because nothing says law and order more than a group of fat, tattooed, yobs smashing things up whilst calling for Robinson’s release. Meanwhile, morons on both sides of the Atlantic claimed that the Luton Mandela had been denied a fair trial (he hadn’t), had been incarcerated while the paedos went free (they didn’t), is the victim of a Government conspiracy to get him killed in prison (he isn’t), had been punished for doing something the mainstream media do every day (they don’t) and had been denied a jury trial (which he had, but only because contempt trials are always tried without juries).

The great irony is that before his current incarceration, our hero had begged Donald Trump to grant him political asylum. That is the same Trump who was sued for raping a 13-year-old-girl (her case was later dropped), who said that if his daughter were not his daughter, he would be dating her, and who, in 2002, praised his billionaire pal Jeffrey Epstein for being a fun guy who loved beautiful women and who liked them young. The same Trump whose Secretary of Labour, Alex Acosta, had cut Epstein a plea deal in Florida in 2008, which allowed him to serve a year in prison but spending twelve hours every day in his office, despite many young girls claiming Epstein had raped and assaulted them. And now Epstein has been charged with more of the same, this time in New York. Are the MAGA morons throwing up their hands, loudly demanding that Acosta be dismissed and that Trump answer for his  previous friendship with Epstein? Of course not. It is only Muslim alleged paedophiles they care about.

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We being our survey of the week’s sartorial slurry singer Halsey wearing an Alyx Studio dress over a Bebe Agiurre bikini.

If an anaemic frog went to a fancy dress party as a Love Island contestant, this is what it would look like.

Next up, we have actor Jason Mamoa with his wife actress Lisa Bonet.

Lisa looks ethereal. As for her spouse, Jason sprang to fame as Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones and his nipple-baring shirt appears to have been inspired by his, er, nipple-baring, non-shirt in that series. 

To Paris Fashion Week and singer Christina Aguilera wearing Viktor and Rolf.

WTF rather admires this in a perverse sort of way as it has a certain insouciance. But it still looks like an old curtain with swearing on it.

And this is actress Araya A Hargate wearing Christian Dior. This one was held over from last week but it bears examination, so here it is.

Everything between the neck and the waist is excellent. But the ‘Allo ‘Allo hat is ridiculous, and as for the skirt, the last time WTF saw something like that it was wrapped around a couple of apples.

Away from Paris, we find former wrestler and now hardman actor Dave Bautista, wearing a most ill-advised ensemble.

Now admittedly Dave is what our Australian friends call a big unit, and so any attire is going to be a challenge, like wrapping a bag of butcher’s brawn in a Saville Row suit. But no one should ever wear a v-necked teeshirt under a suit jacket, especially a double-breasted jacket several sizes too small, and showcasing muscles like  melons.

This is model and actress Sririta Jensen wearing Elie Saab.

If only the skirt were actually a skirt, you know, in the sense that it encompassed her whole lower half, but it isn’t and it doesn’t. One is therefore obliged to worry about what one is seeing in the minge department, and although that shadow is in fact a pair of panties, appalled onlookers should not have been subjected to the stress of worrying about it in the first place.

To the ESPYS and American footballer Odell Beckham Jr wearing Prada.

WTF does not even know what this is. He looks like the lovechild of a postman and a kangaroo’s pouch.

And finally we have model and presenter Heidi Klum in ridiculous Louboutin boots.

Sometimes an item of clothing is just plain silly. And these boots are just plain silly. They look like a couple of maypoles. It is a surprise beribboned country folk are not dancing around her.

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This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF stalwart and aficionado, Leslie from Lisson Grove. Rest your appalled gaze on these pantyhose, handmade by German artist Daniel Struzyna through the Etsy online store Tinkercast.

Leslie has two observations, both pertinent. First, he says the model looks as if she is leaking. And second, he says, Lord alone knows where the rest of the creature resides! Agreed. It’s Got to Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please send in your comments, as they have been sparse of late and you know how WTF frets when she is denied sight of signs of life out there. And don’t forget your utterly splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

Posted in Brexit, Burkha, Donald Trump, ESPYs, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, racism, Tommy Robinson, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Nepotism Barbie Special

Hallo Readers,

Which of you can honestly say that you did not enjoy the footage of squeaky-voiced Ivanka Trump getting iced out at a G20 Reception in Osaka by an imperious, irritated, Christine Lagarde, Head of the International Monetary Fund? Nepotism Barbie had barged into a discussion between Lagarde, Mrs Maybe, President Macron and Prime Minister Trudeau, whereupon she made asinine and irrelevant remarks whilst waving her hands about and smiling in a way winning only to her pervy old dad. It was as if Barron Trump, her 13 year old half-brother, had attempted to interrupt a conversation between Stephen Hawking and Noam Chomsky. With one eye roll, Lagarde made it clear that Barbie’s aperçus were about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. And with good reason, because what on earth was she even doing there? 

Barbie is a Special Adviser to the President, aka Daddy. Prior to his election, she displayed no notable interest in politics, and had devoted herself to running her business flogging tat made in Asian sweatshops, and involving herself in various Trump enterprises and charitable foundations that are now attracting the attention of the District Attorney for the Southern District of New York. Now she accompanies Daddy everywhere, a veritable Zelig on every major occasion. G20, she is there. Meeting the Pope, she is there. A State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, she is there. Crossing the DMZ into North Korea, she is there. Popping up on a White House video to talk about trade talks with President Xi, she is there. The woman of whom her father said ‘If she weren’t my daughter, I would be dating her’ and who allegedly asked ‘is it wrong to be more sexually attracted to your own daughter than your wife?’ (answer – yes), is clearly being groomed to be President in 2024. Never mind that she knows nothing about anything. Neither did Daddy, and now he’s in the White House. 

Barbie does not get a salary because that would be contrary to the nepotism laws. But she is getting learn-as-you-don’t-earn experience. And her share of the Trump businesses grows exponentially, particularly the Trump Hotel in DC, where it is now mandatory to book a suite if you want to do business with the US Government. She and her equally dumb, entitled, husband, Jared Kushner, are hardly struggling – last year, they  declared an income of $165 million. Clearly Daddy thinks she could do any job. In his view, she could have run the World Bank because she is ‘good with figures’.  She would have been brilliant as UN Ambassador because ‘she is a natural diplomat’. It is a surprise that she has not been asked to Head up the Pentagon. The only good part of all this is that oleaginous, God-bothering, homophobic, Mike Pence, a man who has spent the last 30 months gazing at Trump with the devotion of a puppy given an extra doggie treat, could be denied his accession to the top job. But even that is scant consolation for the sight of Barbie playing the lovechild of Henry Kissinger and Mother Theresa. This is how far the United States has fallen. For shame.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam with WTF’s avatar, singer Ashanti, wearing Minge Maestro Michael Costello at the launch of her own collection for Pretty Little Thing.

Beyoncé goes trashy. There is a large helping of tit and, to be frank, that cross-strap  holding them is not up to the job, like a sprat to catch a bucketful of mackerel.

Next up, we have young actor Dacre Montgomery at the Netflix premiere of Stranger Things, wearing his jim jam jacket.

WTF is partial to a pyjama jacket, but even she has her limits, and this has motored way past them on the road to infinity. He looks like a cut-price version of Hugh Hefner.

À propos of not much, in this picture the late lamented HH looks amazingly like Joe E. Brown in Some Like It Hot.

And now we are off to Paris Fashion Week, where nonsense poured forth, starting with singer Zendaya Coleman wearing Dior.

We have not seen trousers over tights since the halcyon days of Princess Diana, and Zendaya’s trewsies look more like jodhpurs. But WTF’s chief disapprobation is reserved for the shrunken evening shirt, which is, on any view, a ridiculous garment, making her look like a perky penguin who did her washing at too high a temperature.

Oh no, it’s them again, Nick Jonas and his spouse, actress Priyanka Chopraboth clad in Dior.

Nick’s brother Joe is competing with him as to which one of them can be the most irritating Jonas Brother, Joe having married GOT’s Sophie Turner a few months ago, and again this week in Paris. So Nick has been forced to up his game and bounced along the boulevard dressed as a floral-bedecked plumber in army boots. His spouse looks elegant in bottle green, albeit with very pointy tits.

Here is actress Riley Keogh, Elvis Presley’s granddaughter, wearing Louis Vuitton.

If anyone knows what this is, and why it is so dog-ugly (sorry, canines), please post the answer in the comments section below.

And now a rare honour, last bestowed many years ago on Rita Ora – a double feature in one blog! Step forward, diva Celine Dion,. First, we find her wearing Off White.

Do not adjust your eyeballs. Celine is wearing a swimsuit, worn with a matching jacket designed for someone bigger and broader. It is as if Peter Dinklage raided Vin Diesel’s wardrobe. And that is not even the worst of it. Why is she not wearing anything over her nether regions?

And here is Celine again, this time wearing Attico, mom jeans and fluffy mules.

If Martha Monster went to a fancy dress party dressed as a creosoted twiglet en route to a Freemasons’ lodge night, this is what she would look like.

Finally, this is just horribly, horribly, horrible. Make sure you have a receptacle handy and the number of a mental health professional on speed dial. Ready? You won’t be. This is Geordie Shore strumpet Chloe Ferry ‘wearing’ a ‘swimsuit’ by Oh Polly. 

WARNING!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Batle-hardened as she may be, on first seeing this photo WTF emitted a squawk like Polly the Parrot on steroids. Chloe has tits like a couple of cannonballs and more minge on display than a Bangkok sex club. Yurgle.

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This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington, who is in great indignation at the sudden infestation of London streets by tossers on electric scooters. Do they even know how preposterous they look?

Grown men and women should not be scooting about on scooters, period, and certainly not on public thoroughfares. They’re a hazard and they are really, really, annoying. Ditto silly people on skateboards. Go to the park if you want to ponce about on kiddie transport. It’s Got to Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please send in your comments, as they have been sparse of late and you know how WTF frets when she is denied sight of signs of life out there. And don’t forget your utterly splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

 

 

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Ivanka Trump, Kim Jong Un, Paris Fashion Week, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments