WTF Embassy Special

Hallo Readers,

You know when you invite someone to dinner and they just stay on after everyone else has gone home, drinking their way through your booze and ignoring your scowls, yawns and heavy hints to leave? Eventually, you are forced to offer him the spare room just so you can get some sleep. Next morning, he is up demanding a cooked breakfast, freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee whilst hogging the hot water and clean towels. That evening, he is still there, waiting for his dinner. And he just stays. And stays. And stays. Now multiply that by half a decade. That is Julian Assange, who has been holed up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London since 2012 to avoid arrest. He does not like it there. His living quarters are spartan, a small bedroom converted from a ladies toilet, with a bed, a sunlamp, a running machine and internet access. The Ecuadorians, who took him in for reasons they probably can barely remember, hate the sight of him and want him out. The Met Police lurk outside, at huge expense to the taxpayer. No one is happy.

This week, Assange sent M’learned Friends to court to ask the Chief Magistrate to discharge the arrest warrant against him. That warrant is extant because he skipped bail, stuffing his sureties in the process, and sought refuge in the said Embassy to avoid being shipped out to Sweden to face charges of rape. Assange maintains that those charges were trumped up so that, on arrival in Sweden, he could be extradited to the US to face charges of publishing State Secrets on Wikileaks. M’Learned Friends argued that as the Swedes had got fed up and dropped the charges (one of the charges is now time barred in any event), the bail matter was disproportionate and should also be dropped, and that he has been punished enough after so many years of house arrest in the Embassy, suffering from depression, deprived of natural light, a dentist and his liberty. It was, it was said, the equivalent of a prison sentence.

The Chief Magistrate was unimpressed. She pointed out that it was not for Assange to dictate how the law should operate. He had skipped bail, which is an offence. She felt that he was not detained in the Embassy; he had chosen to enter it, he was free to leave it at any time, people could come to visit him whenever they wanted, he could eat and drink and retire to bed when he chose and that denizens of HM Prison Wandsworth might well prefer his living conditions to their own. She might have added that Pamela Anderson was able to visit him. And Nigel Farage could come as well (actually, the old lags definitely have the edge on that one). In short, she ruled, he could fuck right off. And so say all of us.

Assange’s whining, deluded portrayal of himself as a cross between the Prisoner of  Zenda and Nelson Mandela on Robben Island could not be less accurate. How likely is it that he will be extradited to the US when Donald Trump proclaimed during the US Election campaign “I love Wikileaks”? And how can you allow Assange to skip bail unpunished? What happens at Knightsbridge Crown Court when some hardened criminal declines to appear on charges of burglary and GBH on the grounds that what applies to Assange should apply to him as well? It may not be as luxurious as the nearby Carlton Tower, but Assange is in the Embassy because he is unwilling to face arrest were he to leave. It is a self-inflicted wound. He is no hero. He is a weaselly, self-aggrandising, delusional, coward. He can either stay there and rot or the Ecuadorians can stop serving him food and starve him out. Either way we have all heard more than enough from him.

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We start our survey of the week’s sartorial stupidity with the 2018 NME Awards in a rain-soaked London and rapper Stefflon Don.

Stefflon resembles a titsy bird of prey in lacy boots.

The rest of the post is from New York Fashion Week and what a dismal collection of people await you, starting with Beyonce’s stylist Ty Hunter, wearing Younhee Park at the Concept Korea show.

He looks like an extra from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. What is he supposed to be? He has very large feet in very shiny shoes, like a clown, which is fitting.

Actress Selma Blair, guest-modelling for Christian Siriano.

Selma seems to have been scribbled all over by a particularly exercised schizophrenic and she is wearing what looks like a slanket. What is the point of wrapping a slanket around your torso when the wind is whistling up your wotsits?  What happens when you want to do a wee-wee? And why on earth is her body-stocking worn over her shoes?

Stylist June Ambrose, wearing DSquared2.

This is the lovechild of a lumberjack and a giant red squirrel with sparkly bootees and a silly hat.

Model Ping, wearing Negris Le Brun.

Call her old-fashioned, but WTF is struggling to understand how a pair of frayed and grubby bloomers constitutes fashion. Ping is dressed for yet another film version of 50 Shades of Filth, this one set in the Victorian era, in which our heroine does the dirty, kinky-style, with the Master of the house.

Actress Tatyana Ali, wearing Taneasha Prunty.

She is lovely and her smile is infectious but there is more droopage than an overladen azalea plant and it is, ahem, somewhat tight around the lady parts.

Actress Paula Patton, wearing Helmut Lang, seen with actress Roselyn Sanchez, wearing Maria Lucia Hohan. Roselyn looks OK. Paula does not.

Paula has been assembled from two separate people, a City gent and a schoolgirl in white frilly ankle socks. Here is a WTF Rule. No one should wear white frilly ankle socks unless they are under the age of five. And certainly not with heels.

Stripper turned rapper, Nya Lee, wearing Agent Provocateur at Phllipp Plein’s show.

This falls squarely into the category of “That is not even clothes”. Everything is either on display or looks as if it is about to be.

Transgender socialite, model and actress Gigi Gorgeous, at The Blonds show.

Those are two of the most improbable tits WTF ever did see in her life, like a couple of bald men hiding behind a bandana, whilst the shorts, complete with mesh and minge magnolia, are to be deplored.

And finally, makeup artist Amra Olevic and Sammy M (no, WTF doesn’t know who the hell he is either) also at The Blonds show. Careful with this one.

Amra, who is a Kim Kardashian lookalikey, is displaying gargantuan amounts of tit and it is 50:50 whether the imminent Minge Moment will happen before or after the imminent Nipslip. As for Freddie Mercury lookalikey Sammy, his outfit is as silly as anything WTF has seen for a long time. Kilts are supposed to be worn with a sporran, not a bumbag, whether Gucci or otherwise, and with some species of shirt or top. In Scotland, they toss the caber. Sammy, alas, just looks a tosser.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who is rightly upset about Tory MSP Jeremy Balfour. Balfour attempted to table an amendment to the Scottish Security Bill in the Scottish Parliament “to review the eligibility of terminally-ill people for benefits if they are still alive after three years.” Yvonne says that this is a new low for a Tory. She is right. What is supposed to happen? Is someone to go round to the terminally ill person’s house and tell them hurry up and die? As often, one is put in mind of the words of Lady Bracknell when told that Algernon cannot dine with her that night because his (made-up) friend Mr Bunbury has taken a turn for the worse. “Well I must say, Algernon, I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd”. Mr Balfour has SO Got to Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your top comments last week and welcomes back Andrew Purcell after an illness – he has been much missed. There were also some excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Julian Assange, New York Fashion Week, Nigel Farage, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Parade Special

Hallo Readers,

Think about a military parade. Think Kim Jong Un, fatly presiding over endless rows of anti-aircraft guns and goose-stepping soldiers, their kicks higher than the chorus line of the Folies Bergère. Think Mussolini and Hitler, shouting their heads off in front of ugly buildings to a roaring crowd. Think May Day with tanks rolling through Red Square past the iron-faced coterie surrounding Vladmir Putin. Think, rather more agreeably, Bastille Day in Paris with President and Mme. Macron waving up a storm. We Brits do not really go in for that sort of thing. We do not flaunt our missiles, not that we have many, or drive our tanks along the Mall. The best we can do is the Edinburgh Tattoo, or bringing out the Red Arrows on a Royal occasion, or mustering a battalion in Whitehall for the annual Trooping the Colour. Or the odd marching band at the Wembley Stadium before the Cup Final.

Now think Washington D.C. on a summer’s day. Picture it. There will of course be the largest crowd ever assembled. Period. Every sort of military vehicle, from scooters to Sherman tanks, will rumble along Pennsylvania Avenue, causing irreparable damage to the infrastructure. Aircraft carriers will block the Potomac, poisoning the fish. The air will be thick with the roar of fighter planes ruining the air quality, But that is alright because the Head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt, has said that global warming could be good for the environment. I mean, no one wants cold tootsies, do they? And there, reviewing this magnificence, is Donald Trump, his hair blowing in the wind and forming a perfect golden circle around his bald pate, like the rays of the setting sun. At his side is his wife Melania, her face an expressionless mask, whether through Botox or hatred of her husband, WTF cannot say. The bands will play a stirring selection of Dolly Parton classics. As the Donald would say, Wow!

So what is the purpose of this jamboree? Is to celebrate American Independence from the beastly Brits? No. It is simply because Trump wants it. Le Roi le Veult. He went to France for their July 14 celebration last year and was enchanted by the pomp and circumstance. He was probably wholly unaware of its historical significance but it would not matter in any event because with Trump, it is all about him. He wants to be celebrated. He wants to be idolised. Hell, he wants to be deified. He has already indicated that anyone who did not applaud his rambling State of the Union speech was un-American and “treasonous”. He has already described the media who criticise him as “Fake News” and “enemies of the people”. It is but a hop, a skip and a jump to the next stage of El Presidente Trumpetto and the Biggest Parade Ever.

Meanwhile, there are people who want to piss on his Parade. The Pentagon thinks it is a waste of money which could be better used to support veterans and buy equipment. The City of Washington DC is worried about the cracked roads. Everyone else is worried about the cracked President, and bemused that a five-times draft dodger with supposed bone spurs, a man who never served, whose sons never served, has such an affinity for all things military. And of course for him the best thing is that, like everything else he does, it is all at someone else’s expense.  To the protesters that will inevitably gather at this event, here is some advice – bring a giant wind machine. And to El Presidente -wear a hat.

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Both readers of this blog and followers of @WTF_EEK, some of whom are the same people, rose up last week on seeing Her Holiness the Duchess of Cambridge wearing two scandalously horrible dresses by Erdem during her recent visit to Sweden. There was however division as to which was the more horrible, so WTF has featured them both. We start with the horrible blue one, and also stop to sneer at Crown Princess Victoria, wearing Instyle.

Yes, Kate is pregnant but that is no excuse for going around wearing a designer bedspread. As for Crown Princess Victoria, she should pursue Instyle for gross misrepresentation because there is nothing remotely stylish about this rave from the 70s grave. As WTF aficionado Bespoke Finishes remarked, “Holy hell, the blue dress is horrible and the other outfit looks like it comes from Primark”.

And here is HRH in the horrible yellowy one. The gentleman accompanying her is the British Ambassador.

Apart from the fact that this is the colour of the urine from a diseased bladder, your late granny had that pattern on her spare bedroom curtains and it is also very frilly and flouncy. As WTF aficionado Jo Franks remarked, “I wouldn’t wrap a dead cat in that…”. Indeed, the RSPCA would be highly displeased were she to do so. As would the cat.

To the NFL Honors Gala in Minneapolis and football star Von Miller.

WTF is all for originality, but there is originality and there looking like a prat. Wearing a multi-strand necklace over a three piece suit and a polo neck sweater falls into the second category. Meanwhile, this is another sad example of men in trousers with an elephant-vagina crotch. Why? WHY? WHY???

Meet fashionista and TV personality EJ Johnson at the Tom Ford menswear launch in New York.

EJ is the son of Magic Johnson but no magician could conjure this outfit into anything palatable. By the way, EJ – Cruella de Vil called.  She wants her coat back…

More evidence that Tom Ford has gone down the pan as seen on singer Halsey.

The stupid, thrush-inducing bodysuits of the 90’s are back with us and this one is going to cause several trips to the drugstore for large tubes of Canesten. It makes you feel sore just looking at her. Tits, hips, a low-slung crotch and follow-me-home-and-fuck-me shoes. Classy.

Here is actress and singer Jennifer Lopez, wearing Ester Abner.

JLo is stunning but she is 48, not 18, and even an 18-year-old would struggle to look good with breasts and limbs spilling forth from coffee filter papers. 

As for the hair, many ponies are shivering in the cold weather, their arses suddenly exposed to the elements through the loss of their tails. 

To the amFAR Gala in New York to make the start of NYFW where a number of people looked utterly ridiculous, including model Anwar Hadid (brother of Gigi and Bella), seen here with actress Nicola Peltz. She looks fine. He does not.

What are those trousers? They are not so much cropped as truncated, someone has taken the garden shears to his jeans jacket and who wears a bloody tie with a jeans jacket anyway? 

And this is preposterous Chilean pseud di Mondo looking like an absolute tosser.

Di Mondo turned up in this blog in 2014 wearing a jewelled face mask. Now he is back dressed as a bullfighter with split palazzo pants and doing an Angelina Jolie pose.  Tosser.

Finally, TV nutritionist, Gillian McKeith wearing WTF does not even know what.

Gillian, who appears to have sprained both her arms, was cruelly pipped to the post for the fabled WTF Christmas Turkey 2017 by Missoni-clad Lewis Hamilton who bolted out of nowhere to secure top spot. Now she is making an early bid for the WTF Summer Stinker 2018. On this evidence, she is looking good for a podium position at the very least, because this is equally as foul, like something left mouldering in the cupboard and found years later covered in dusty cobwebs.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Rachel from London, who is appalled by the new excesses in denim nonsense. Well, WTF says excesses but actually it is the absence of actual fabric that is Rachel finds appalling. Say hello to the denim bustier or “justier”.

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This tat costs £35. But even worse is this “belt” flogged by Net-A-Porter for a staggering $405.

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This is just taking the piss. There are about 6 inches of old jeans here sold at a zillion per cent mark up. If you are intent upon looking ridiculous, then cut up a pair of old jeans and make these “garments” yourself. It’s Got to Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your comments last week and hopes for more, plus there were more top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, New York Fashion Week, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

WTF Grammys Deep Horror Special

Hallo Readers,

Would you put the Chief Rabbi in charge of the Pork Promotion Programme? You would not. So why would you put climate change deniers in charge of your environmental policy? In the US, the idiot President appointed Scott Pruitt to run the Environment Protection Agency. Pruitt is a former Attorney General of Oklahoma who distinguished his tenure there by suing the EPA 14 times. It is of course sheer coincidence that Pruitt received hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign donations from the fossil fuel industry. When appointed to the EPA, he set about repealing most of Obama’s protective regulations and fired the 18 independent scientists advising the Agency, and will reeplace them with “industry representatives”. 

Of course, this suits Trump just fine because he is also a climate change denier. Last week, when “interviewed” by Piers Morgan, not that it was an actual interview, more a case of Morgan applying his tongue to the Presidential fundament, Trump said, unchallenged,

‘There is a cooling and there’s a heating—I mean, look, it used to not be climate change. It used to be global warming. That wasn’t working too well because it was getting too cold all over the place. The ice caps were going to melt. They were going to be gone by now, but now they’re setting records, okay? They’re at a record level’.

The technical term for this is ‘bollocks’. 

In order of bollocks, global warning is part of climate change; 2017 was the third hottest year on record in the US; the average world temperature throughout the year is warmer than it was but that does not mean part of the US do not get cold; ‘climate change’ more accurately explains the concept of the damage done by greenhouse gases, as opposed to the noxious emissions from Trump himself; and the ice caps are indeed ‘setting records’ – they are melting. It is unclear what record Trump thought the icecaps were setting – fastest time in the 1500 metres? This scientific genius then continued:

I’ll tell you what I believe in. I believe in clean air. I believe in crystal clear, beautiful water. I believe in just having good cleanliness and all.

Which is presumably why Pruitt has set about repealing the Clean Water Act and would have got rid of restrictions on methane leaks had the Courts not intervened. And the idiot President thinks there is such a thing as clean coal.

But Trump and Pruitt are professorial in their knowledge compared to the moronic Kathleen Hartnett White, a woman who would have to have intensive coaching six times a week just to attain a level of sheer ignorance. Hartnett White, who looks like the sort of woman burning witches in Salem, was Trump’s nomination for his adviser on Environmental Quality, although she has no scientific qualifications. In fact, WTF can safely say that Hartnett White knows as much about science as WTF’s left buttock knows about heart surgery. Hartnett White’s main qualification for the role is her evangelical belief that climate change is a hoax and that there are “grand schemes to decarbonise society”. Her appearance before the Senate Committee was an event so embarrassingly awful that you had to watch it through your fingers whilst screaming ‘Oh My God’ very loudly at regular intervals. Amongst the top moments was when Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (for whom WTF has a particular penchant) asked Marie Curie 11, in the context of the oceans becoming hotter, whether she agreed that water expands as it heats. Even WTF knows the answer to this one but Hartnett White replied “I do not have any kind of expertise or even much layman’s study of the ocean dynamics.” In fact, having pocketed a fistful of dollars from the industry, all Hartnett White knows is that fossil fuels are wonderful and led, amongst other things, to the abolition of slavery. Go figure.

The Committee voted along party lines to approve her nomination. Of course it did. Most Republicans would vote for Stormy Daniels were they asked to. But her nomination lapsed through lack of Senate time. She was re-nominated but it appears that even the White House could not face seeing Sen. Whitehouse managing not to laugh at the asinine answers from a woman clearly as blissful in her bigoted stupidity as Trump is in his and there was a danger that the full Senate might not have approved her. So her nomination has been withdrawn. The real question is why she was ever put forward. Welcome to the Fox News World where you only hear the answers you want because the only people you ask are either as stupid as you are or too bloody craven to give you the right one.

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Our review of the week’s sartorial shockers all come from the Grammys, held this year in New York. There are equal numbers of appallingly dressed men and women so this is a truly gender equality review. We start with beauty guru (he now has a range for MAC), Patrick Starr. WTF has no idea what he is wearing. None at all.

Those plump thighs put WTF in mind of Nicholas Nickleby and Wackford Squeer’s description of his son, “What do you think of him, sir, for a specimen of the Dotheboys Hall feeding? Ain’t he fit to bust out of his clothes, and start the seams, and make the very buttons fly off with his fatness? Here’s flesh!’ cried Squeers, turning the boy about, and indenting the plumpest parts of his figure with divers pokes and punches”.

Singer Rapsody, wearing something strange.

Why is she attired as a crossdressing Victorian station-master in most ill-fitting trousers? 

Actor Cody Longo, wearing who knows what?

This is a walking up yours to the World Wildlife Fund. Many fine animals have died in vain….

Model and TV presenter Heidi Klum,wearing Ashi Studio.

Yet again, Heidi wafts effortlessly into the category of “That’s Not Even Clothes” It is becoming tiresome and the minge triangle is particularly nasty.

Rapper Lil Uzi Vert, wearing Tripp.

He is a bell-bottomed prison warden and that skull-head cross and chain is clearly so heavy that he can barely hold his head aloft. Call the osteopath!

Singer SZA, wearing Atelier Versace.

This is a veritable vaginal Victoria Falls.

Musician and professional son Jaden Smith, wearing what looks like a collection of clothes from a skip.

Jared has always been annoying and he is becoming more annoying with every day that passes. He has had to write the name of his debut album SYRE on his hand, lest he forget it. If only we could do the same…

Singer Kali Uchis, wearing who knows what?

If an astronaut went to a fancy dress party as a pink Quality Street sweet, this is what she would look like.

Rapper Tyler, the Creator, wearing Louis Vuitton.

At first Tyler, the Pretentious, sported a large fur hat last seen on a border guard in Uzbekistan, but then he removed it to show this ……

Pillock. Love the coat though..

TV presenter Giuliana Ranic, wearing Mikael D.

Giuliana turned up in a minge cobweb on the Red Carpet for E! to interview other people on the Red Carpet. Giuliana’s dresses are getting smaller and smaller. By the time we get to the Oscars, she will be wearing nothing but a pair of stilettos. 

Singer Sir Elton John and his husband David Furnish, both wearing Gucci.

David looks like the receptionist at the Cancun Crowne Plaza and Elton is wearing  a jacket composed of shiny shower tiles and a blouse with a pussycat bow, like a sparkly reincarnation of Mrs Thatcher but with a hair weave. And unlike Mrs T, who dusted people up verbally, he is wearing actual knuckledusters with his name on them. 

Singer Pink, wearing Armani Privé.

Armani has gone stark staring mad. Pink looks exactly like Boombah the Lion in the Indian version of Sesame Street

Rapper GoldLink, wearing God knows what….

GoldLink is evidently taking part in a post-modern revival of Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Pirates of Penzance. Why is he wearing zipped leather knickers over his trousers? What happens at wee-wee time? Is the top zip linked to another zip? That is an awful lot of unzipping…

Finally, we have singer, Fox News contributor and would-be Congresswoman Joy Villa, wearing a Pronovias wedding gown, which she then hand painted with a foetus, and paired with a tiara and a hand-painted Choose Life handbag.

This is a novel form of campaigning – wear your manifesto. Joy is a devoted Trump supporter, and turned up to the event last year in a #MAGA dress, but this is even more offensive. Before finding the Alt-Right, Joy used the Grammys to flash her bits in order to get noticed, like the ridiculous dress composed of iron railings she wore in 2015. Joy may choose life. WTF chooses life without Joy.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney who is “impelled” to suggest the Poor Door for inclusion in this section. Ayesha puts it so well WTF need only quote her verbatim. ‘This foul innovation describes a hidden, back-door entry provided for occupants of “affordable” flats in mixed public/private housing developments – to avoid distressing visually sensitive occupants who have paid the higher, market rate. 

The Poor Door has been blithely admitted by leaders of Haringey council in London to feature in their controversial scheme to let a multinational developer feast on a big slice of the authority’s property portfolio – a scheme this week beginning to hit buffers erected by Labour’s national bosses’. Ayesha’s curse has worked because the Council’s Chief Executive resigned on Tuesday over the furore. It’s Got To Go. She’s Already Gone. 

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF enjoyed your comments last week and hopes for more. However, there were some top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Grammys, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF UKIP Special

Hallo Readers,

Some concepts are difficult to grasp. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Stephen Hawking’s History of Time. And the notion that UKIP can be brought into disrepute. Teams of rocket scientists are currently working around the clock to solve this conundrum and they may be occupied for some time.

UKIP is rather like the stylus or the telegram. That was then – this is now. It once served a purpose for Europhobes but now we are heading out of the EU. Since Nigel Farage purportedly stepped down from politics in September 2016, the Party has had more Leaders than a Girl Guides’ get-together. Hatchet-faced Diane James who lasted less than three weeks before stepping down from a position she never actually took up; Farage as Acting Leader until November 2016; Paul Nuttall, a fantasist with a fictional Ph.D, friends he supposedly lost at Hillsborough but never did, a career as a professional footballer that never happened, a house in his by-election constituency he did not actually live in and a terrible taste in tweed;  after Nuttall stepped down in June 2017, UKIP having failed to win a single seat in the General Election, Steve Crowther in temporary control; and then Henry Bolton who was elected in September, defeating a madwoman who ran an outfit called Sharia Watch and was deemed too extreme to stand as a candidate. Bolton seemed unremarkable other than a chequered marital history, having married a Dane, a Russian and then another Russian, Tatiana, the present incumbent.

It all went wrong in January after Bolton took up with Jo Marney, 29 years his junior, who describes herself as a “presenter, music journalist, model, actor and Brexiteer”. Well, the last bit is certainly true. Bolton and Marney’s romance annoyed his wife (she claims they were still together, Bolton says they had already separated), the tabloids and the Party, which took against Marney’s “glamour” shots, her youth and her evident thirst for publicity. It got worse. A week later, Marney emerged as a virulent racist, even by UKIP standards, when previous Facebook postings and texts came to light. Grenfell Tower was ‘a nest of illegal immigrants of all varieties…that’s why they can’t identify most of them.’ Eastern European women  were ‘sluts’ who would ‘fuck a mangey dog for about 10 quid and a Big Mac’, whilst Princess-elect Meghan Markle was ‘a gender obsessed twat’ whose mixed race seed would ‘pollute the royal family’. Romeo was forced to end his star-crossed tryst but last Sunday the Party Executive passed a motion of no confidence in him, stopped his stipend (he does actually not receive a salary) and resigned en masse. However, Bolton has refused to step down, has vowed to “drain the swamp” and is fronting it out, seemingly about to reconcile with Marney.

The idea that Bolton has brought the party into disrepute is like a turd complaining that another turd is malodorous. Amongst those flouncing off in high dudgeon were Mike Hookem, who allegedly decked his fellow MEP Steven Woolfe in a corridor of the European Parliament; David Kurten, a member of the London Assembly, who has compared homosexuality to child abuse; Aidan Powlesland, a former Parliamentary candidate who campaigned on a policy of developing spacecraft to allow humans to mine the asteroid belt; and John Bickley, who stood in the Oldham by-election and retweeted a cartoon with the slogan “if you want a jihadi for a neighbour, vote Labour”. None of these giants of the political stratosphere has any claim to bestride the moral high ground. The same is true of Neil Hamilton, a Member of the Welsh Assembly, who wants Bolton out on the grounds that “His recent behaviour has been so irrational, he should seek psychological help”. This is the same Neil Hamilton who was kicked out of the Tory Government in 1996 after The Guardian alleged he had taken bribes on brown paper envelopes from Mohammed Al-Fayed; who unsuccessfully sued the paper for libel; who lost one of the safest Tory seats in the country in 1997; and who, with his ghastly Pantomime Dame spouse Christine, set themselves up as a professional Z-Listers, appearing at every awful function and on crappy TV shows and standing in a perspex cage whilst comic Johnny Vegas showered him with fish. 

They will try and force Bolton out. Meanwhile Bolton maintains his private life has no bearing on his Leadership as long as it does not damage the Party and the third Mrs Bolton is doubtless consulting M’Learned friends. This one will run and run….

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We start our week’s mega-bumper-ginormous review of crapulous clothing at the National TV Awards in London on Tuesday and TOWIE’s Bobby Norris, fabled winner of the Summer Stinker 2014 AND the Summer Stinker 2015 with his foul cocksocks. At least he is covered up….

Bobby is putting the cock into peacock, whose tail appears to be tickling his groin. There’s a knocking shop somewhere in Shanghai missing its wallpaper….

Next up, we have actress Chelsee Healey, wearing Modemwah.


Chelsee’s face is shinier than a snooker ball and her groin is covered only by a crotch curtain on a crotch curtain rail. What happens she sits down? Plus we can see sideboob and tan lines and a tattoo and all sorts. Our cups runneth over. And hers…..

Here is another soap actress, Sarah Jayne Dunn, wearing Ruth Milliam Couture.

As far as WTF can see, Sarah Jayne is standing amidst the remains of an exploded giant poodle…

We now consider the horror that is actress Zoe Kravitz, wearing St Laurent.

This is imminent visible nipple activity and what can best be described as a minge triangle. Clearly, the designer drew inspiration from the scene in Absolutely Fabulous where a pissed Patsy emerges from a taxi with her bodysuit unfastened….

The rest of the week’s offerings come from the Screen Actors’ Guild Award in Hollywood where thespians various came up with some real stinkers. We start with Gayle Rankin, wearing who knows what?

Gayle is perched precariously on clodhopping sandals behind a portcullis adorned with little flowers, as if welcoming home a soldier from the Crusades. The slip is both ill-fitting and scrunched.

Sally Hawkins, wearing Christian Dior. It is actually a dress although it resembles bad trousers.

This kaleidoscope is giving everyone a headache. And she has a bullseye on her stomach. Sally had better not venture into a pub in her native Lewisham  – someone might throw a dart at her.

Deon Cole. No one has owned up to designing this suit – good call.

This is officially a pity because Deon is handsome with a lovely smile but that rascal suit will not do and the velvet braid is a shocker. He looks like Nicely Nicely in Guys and DollsWTF is also unhappy about the droopy black bow tie like a decomposing bat.

Renee Bargh, wearing Alex Perry.

When Pooh got stuck in Rabbit’s front door because he had eaten too much honey and condensed milk, and had stay there, a wedged bear in great tightness, for a week to get thin, Rabbit used his legs as a towel horse. Renee has a triangular tit window instead of a door and she seems to be using her arms to dry the sheets…

 

Kate Hudson, wearing Valentino.

BBC recently did a remake of Little Women. WTF failed to notice that Kate was in it….

Jackie Cruz, wearing Laura Basci.

This is essentially a feather duster with tits.

And finally, Kate Nash, wearing Bora Aksu.

Kate looks like a Meissen shepherdess, although this is more Bo Peekaboo than Bo Peep. Having said that, something seems to be hiding underneath her skirts and peering out through the porthole because WTF can see no other reason for it to be there.

 

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado @MsAlliance who sent in this utterly revolting wedding jumpsuit by Spanish nuptial-specialist Pronovias. Get a load of this, vicar….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why would you want your spouse’s granddad to get a whole load of your arse? And as WTF aficionado Philip remarked, the model looks as if someone one has sprayed her bits with whipped cream from one of those aerosols. It has SO Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. You were a bit slow with your comments last week which made WTF anxious, which is A BAD THING. Please do better this week. However, there were some top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Fashion, Fashion Disasters, General Election, Grenfell Tower, Meghan Markle, National TV Awards, Nigel Farage, Politics, SAG AWards, UKIP, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

WTF Carillion Special

Hallo Readers,

Last week, we considered how Mrs Maybe’s Cabinet reshuffle went totally tits up.  This week, we consider how mega-corporation Carillion went totally tits up. On Monday it was defunct. This huge company, which was involved in building buildings, building roads, and providing catering and cleaning staff on contract, which had 450 Government contracts when it went under, is carrion for M’Learned friends, armies of accountants and insolvency practitioners, all of them picking over the carcass. Meanwhile, 20,000 employees are facing the scrap heap (although those working on projects for private companies are to work on and be paid until new contractors can be found) and 1,400 Government apprentices have been left high and dry. There are debts of £1.3 billion and a £600m hole in the pension fund. And it is not just the immediate employees in peril, but the contractors who did business with Carillion who will probably never be paid and who will themselves go under and their employees with them, not to mention their sub-contractors and their sub-sub-contractors and so on. As Henry V put it,

That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.

Not that everyone waited until the body was dead. Carillion’s directors have been doing just fine. In July 2017, the company posted a profits warning, whereupon Richard Howson, the Chief Executive, who had been earning £1.5m in salary, bonuses and pension payments stepped down. A month later, he popped up again, this time as Chief Operating Officer, scraping by on a salary of £660,000 and £28,000 in benefits. Because the company has done so well under his stewardship, they needed to have yet more of him. He stayed until October when he departed yet again, following Zahar Khan, the Chief Financial Officer, out of the door. Both of these titans (and all other senior executives) had clauses in their contracts entitling them to a year’s salary after termination (£425,000 for Mr Khan) and expected to be paid until the autumn of 2018. Despite the fact that there were clearly problems over the past year, the Board continued to declare dividends and to pay themselves bonuses. In contrast, contractors have complained that Carillion was notoriously slow to pay up, once citing a flood in India as a reason not to pay a small firm in England, whilst doing that thing that companies do, underbidding for contracts and then squeezing contractors and quality to make a profit, shaving a little off here and a little off there and screwing all the littler people in the name of Big Business.

The Insolvency Service has now frozen payments to directors and so Mr Howson, Mr Khan and the other dummies on the Board will have to live on their savings. The Insolvency Service also intends to investigate the company’s trading sheets which, pre July, gave off such a rosy glow. They might also ask Her Majesty’s Government why it continued to dole out contracts to this failing monolith, even after the profit warnings had been sounded. 

You can bet your bottom dollar that had a Carillion builder dropped a brick off a scaffold or a Carillion out-sourced dinner lady been late dishing out the kiddies’ macaroni cheese at lunchtime, they would have been dismissed quicker than you can say P45. No payoff. No continuing access to the goody-bag. Nothing. But these people have presided over catastrophic failure and yet continued to get paid and expected to be paid even after it all collapsed. And other companies will also suffer the same fate because such is the British way, in politics as well as in commerce  – reward failure and let the same people go and cock up something else.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion follies with ghastly White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

WTF aficionado Joshua La Porte has long maintained that the more Sarah lies, the more maquillage she wears, like an Estée Lauder Pinocchio. The US taxpayer pays for her makeup and hair, but on this evidence, she also needs a stylist. The dreadful dress does not fit anywhere and it is far too short. More pressing is the question of what has happened to Sarah’s knees – has she been playing American football without protection? When WTF tweeted this picture on Wednesday night, several people thought they saw Donald Trump’s face and hair in her patellae, in the same way that people see Jesus’s face in a piece of fruit. Just saying…

Next to LA, and actress Tracee Ellis Ross, wearing Proenza Schouler.

Tracee is clearly suffering from a bad case of discombobulation and is wearing her bra over her clothes. Which is just very silly.

To Paris, where we find WTF regular, actress Diane Kruger at the Chanel party. She is of course wearing Chanel.

Diane has come straight from the Opéra National where she was dancing one of the little cygnets in a production of Swan Lake.

This is Arsenal footballer Hector Bellerin at London Men’s Fashion Week a fortnight ago, wearing a Christopher Shannon coat, women’s Zimmerman silk pyjamas and Gucci fur-lined velvet slippers. 

Velvet fur-lined slippers!!!!!!

Fur-lined slippers worn outdoors as much use as a sponge leg in a swamp. (A bit like Hector’s defending). And they cost £645. Is Hector sleepwalking? (Also a bit like Hector’s defending). The whole outfit is an outrage. WTF was already sick of watching Hector play like a prat. Now she has to put up with him dressing like one.

Stella McCartney was flogging her wares in LA. Here is Katy Perry wearing part of the new Autumn Collection.

Katy is dressed as a frilly red bell pepper in pink shoes. Who knows why?

This is actress Yara Shahidi at the Marie Claire party in Hollywood, wearing Shiaparelli Couture.

Only last week, women were at the Golden Globes wearing funereal black in solidarity with their sisters who had been sexually assaulted by groping fat cats, as part of the #MeToo movement. Yet Yara is wearing something suggesting that one of those aforesaid fat cats is standing behind her with his hands fondling her front bits. There is quirky and there is creepy. This has gone way past creepy and is verging on the downright pervy.

You always expect singer Lady Gaga to dress outlandishly because that is her schtick, but having a Minge Moment in a Barcelona street is going far too far. Here she is, wearing Ted Khouri.

Hasn’t Catalonia suffered enough without exposure to the Gaga groin?

Finally, we have two horrors from the NAACP (American National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) Image Awards in LA, starting with actor Algee Smith.

Bare chest, a necklace and bare ankles WORN WITH BROGUES (which WTF hates almost above all things) are bad enough. But a bellybutton triangle in a dinner jacket? As Dorothy Parker used to say whenever the front doorbell rang, what fresh hell is this?

Answer – not nearly as hellish as actress Halle Berry, wearing Reem Accra. Brace yourselves. MAJOR MINGE ALERT!!!!! CARE SHOULD BE TAKEN BEFORE PROGRESSING FURTHER….

The only word here is mingetastic.

Halle is 51 (although she could be 31) and is seriously stunning but that is no excuse to her to parade about in public with her pubis covered by little more than a beaver braid. Reem Acrid – shame on you…

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This week’s It’s Got To Go has come from a number of WTF aficionados who are not at all happy, not even at all, with the new Victoria and Albert Museum uniforms designed by one Christopher Rae. Here is why….

The staff seem to have stumbled into a Laura Ashley 1970s reunion in horrible clashes of blue and orange. WTF aficionado Tom remarked that the bald bloke at the far end has been moonlighting as a train guard. WTF thinks the big bloke in the middle looks like a tartan version of Paddington Bear. The staff’s smiles are somewhat forced and with good reason because this is seriously bad. It’s Got To Go…..

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. You sent in lovely comments last week which made WTF smile, which is A GOOD THING. Please keep it up. And don’t forget your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday where we will digest the SAG Awards Red Carpet. Be good x

 

Posted in Carillion, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, NAACP Image Awards, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Reshuffle Special

Hallo Readers,

In 1967, the Hollies, a popular singing troupe, had a hit with a song called King Midas In Reverse. You get the picture. Unlike the mythical monarch whose touch turned everything to gold, this guy’s touch was less effective.  The chorus goes:

He’s King Midas with a curse.
He’s king Midas in Reverse.
He’s King Midas with a curse.
He’s King Midas in Reverse…….

Put an S in front the He’s and this could be Mrs Maybe’s theme tune, because whatever she touches turns to ordure. Item, the General Election last June, when she turned a working majority into a minority, necessitating a shotgun marriage with the Neanderthal DUP and a billion pound dowry. Item, her Party Conference Speech last October, in which she coughed more than Mimi in the last act of La Bohème and was handed a mock P45 whilst the letters behind her spelling out the slogan “Building a Country That Works for Everyone”, slid off the wall randomly like autumn leaves drifting down to earth from dehydrated branches. Item, her Deputy and close friend, Damian Green, forced to resign in December 2017 after lying about porn on his PC and amid allegations of fondling a young lady’s knee. Item, her defending the appointment of sexist, misogynist, puerile prat Toby Young to a position for which he was manifestly unsuited. And now her Cabinet reshuffle, which went seriously tits up. 

The point of the reshuffle was to make the Cabinet more feminine, less posh and less old but it started badly and got worse. Tory Central Office announced that Chris Grayling, who would have to improve to be totally useless, was the new Party Chairman. Except that he wasn’t and the tweet was swiftly deleted but only after everyone saw it. Instead, the role went to Ray-Winstone soundalikey, Brandon Lewis, whilst Grayling remains at Transport, the attempt to shift him derailed. Jeremy Hunt, the utterly inept Health Secretary, refused to move to Industry, and ended up with additional responsibilities  instead. Only Mrs Maybe could give someone failing in his job even more to do in it, rather than defenestrating him. In contrast, Justine Greening refused to move from Education and ended up resigning, a comprehensive-schooled, gay woman out of the door, whilst hideous persecutor-of-the-disabled, professional Scouser Esther McVey, was brought in. When the dust settled, there were no more women in the Cabinet and as many toffs as before and all the big beasts were still snug in their lair, Boris Johnson at the Foreign Office, the idiot David Davis at Brexit, Philip Hammond still at the Treasury, Amber Rudd at the Home Office. It could not have been more farcical had someone had dropped their trousers outside No 10.

Any one of these matters would be a misfortune, but to have them all happen to her suggests she is indeed cursed. Chaos sticks to her like shit to a blanket.  She is a female Job, punishments raining down upon her head, suffering them with the same stoicism as her biblical counterpart and soldiering on.  Of course in the end the Almighty rewarded Job with twice what he had before, but only after he had lost everything first. Has Mrs Maybe got the stamina to keep going? Like Job, she is very religious. She will need to be. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed is the name of the Lord.

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Our sartorial survey comes from the Golden Globes in LA., where attendees wore black in purported solidarity with women who have been sexually assaulted or coerced by Harvey Weinstein and other starry sleaze-bags. The air was thick with that soapy blend of self-congratulation and gleeful whoop-whoop-whooping which tends to embarrass and annoy the hell out of anyone who is neither a thespian nor an American and the preponderance of black fabric was like watching a couture wake with tits. Fortunately some guests could not resist flashing the flesh, despite the worthiness of their cause. Let us start with actress Halle Berry, wearing Zuhair Murad.

Halle is resplendent in peekaboo lace, bellybutton blast and a minge fringe. Either wear black in solidarity with your wronged sisters or go see-through. But not both. The same applies to the next 2 ladies….

Actress Kate Hudson, wearing Valentino. 

Kate, who is putting the globes into Golden Globes, is dressed in an old onion bag and gym knickers.  And then there was…

Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, wearing Zuhair Murad.

Catherine is even more see-through than Halle, only just protecting her modesty with a groin garland.

Former Olympic skater and now fashion pundit, Johnny Weir.

Johnny is wearing a chain mail polo neck and a frock coat (designed for someone a foot taller), bearing a striking resemblance to Mr Sowerberry, the undertaker from Oliver Twist – all he needs is a top hat and a hearse. Although his hair is virtually a top hat in itself.

 

Talking of Dickens, here is actress Diane Kruger wearing Alexander McQueen at the after party.

Guten Abend, Fräulein Haversham….

Model Barbara Meier, wearing not nearly enough.

Barbara, a former winner of America’s Top Model, ignored the black edict and turned up in a mash-up of Eve in a fig leaf and Joseph and his Coat Of Many Colours. She wrote on her Instagram “If we want this to be the Golden Globes of the strong women who stand up for their rights, I think, it’s the wrong way not to wear any sexy clothes anymore or let people take away our joy of showing our personality through fashion.” Otherwise known as “sod it, I am wearing that dress, ja!”

Models Kendall Jenner wearing Alexandre Vauthier and Hailey Baldwin, wearing DSquared2, at the afterparty.

These two resemble a couple of bedraggled doxies after a fight which neither of them won.

And actress Blanca Blanco, (sort of) wearing Atria Clothing.

Blanca also ignored the dress code, justifying it as follows, “I love red. Wearing red does not means I am against #timesup movement. I applaud and stand by the courageous actresses that continue to brake [sic] the circle of abuse through their actions and their style choice.” Translated as, “sod it, I want my picture taken with my bits out”. Blanca has form, as seen at last year’s Oscars where she wore a dress of her own design and pretended not to know that her pubes were on display. Meanwhile, although criticism is alien to WTF’s nature, Blanca’s breasts are not the only thing tumbling forth – her toes are spilling over her sandals like rafts over Niagara Falls.

We switch to attention to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night where colour was permitted, although actress Elisabeth Moss stuck to black, wearing Erdem.

WTF loves Elisabeth but she does not love this dress, which has seams in the most unflattering places to give her phantom nipples. WTF has long fought a battle against VNA (Visible Nipple Activity) but PVNA (Phantom Visible Nipple Activity) is a new horror for her to contend with.

And finally actress Kiernan Shipka, wearing Delpozo.

Kiernan is 18, not 8, but even an 8-year-old would look absurd in this explosion of sickly pastels and netting. If the Sugar Plum Fairy went to a fancy dress party as Violet Elizabeth Bott from the Just William stories, this is what she would look like.

 

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF of Islington who is fed up, and then fed up some more, with all this talk about Oprah Winfrey running for President in 2020. No-one, not even Melania Trump, hates Donald J. Trump more than WTF but honestly, haven’t we had enough of showbiz personalities playing at politics? Just because Oprah made a storming speech about  sexual harassment at the Golden Globes last week does not make her Winston Churchill or even George W Bush. If she wants to get into politics, let her start as a Congresswoman or Senator and learn the ropes. We have had quite enough of amateur dramatics, thank you very much. It’s Got To Go…..

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. You were a bit slow with your comments last week but you still have time to keep WTF happy by sending them in this week. And don’t forget your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Critics' Choice Awards 2018, Donald Trump, General Election, Golden Globes, Oprah Winfrey, Politics, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

WTF Size Matters Special

Hallo Readers And Happy New Year,

Size matters, and it certainly matters a lot to Donald J Trump. He is 6’2″(and almost as wide as he is tall – he has, in the words of WTF’s late mother, gone double). He has silly little hands, seemingly transplanted from someone else’s littler body. During the primaries, he attacked his rival Senator Marco Rubio for having the temerity to be only 5’7″and called him “little Marco”. Rubio retaliated by teasing Trump about his tiny digits. Trump assured his voters that there was no correlation between his hands and his todger, “I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”  5′ 7″ is clearly just unacceptable to him – he did not appoint Senator Bob Corker as Secretary of State because he deemed him too short for such high office. Everything about Trump is always bigger and better – the biggest crowd EVER at his inauguration (it wasn’t); the biggest tax cuts EVER (they weren’t); more bills passed in his first year than any President EVER (they weren’t); the safest year in US civil aviation EVER (it wasn’t). He is either a liar, deluded or demented or all three but Trump has set several records. His approval ratings are the worst EVER. And he is without question the biggest knob to occupy the White House EVER. Whatever the size of his appendage. 

This week Trump taunted Kim Jong-Un, who had boasted about the nuclear button “on my desk at all times”. Trump tweeted, “Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!” Ooh, er, missus! It was like being being trapped in an episode of The Benny Hill Show directed by Quentin Tarantino. In fact, Trump does not have an actual nuclear button but the response was puerile and downright dangerous. Kim Jong-Un is more unstable than a three-legged dog whilst Trump is daily becoming more unhinged and his mood unlikely to improve. On top of Mueller, there is also Michael Wolff’s book Fire and Fury, much of which is based on information from Trump’s former adviser Steve Bannon who was settling scores with a vengeance. The book depicts Trump as a demented, burger-eating, TV-obsessed, paranoid slob, like Captain Queeg with bad hair. Bannon did not confine himself to anecdotes about Trump but also took aim at the dismal husband and wife combo, nepotism made flesh, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, as well as the idiot Donald Jr, whose arrest and perp walk of shame is awaited by all right-thinking people. And then there is the absence of the invitation to Harry and Meghan’s wedding, although the Obamas will probably receive one. All this will make him madder than a wet hen with mental health issues and when he is in that mood, he takes to Twitter to goad his enemies,  including North Korea. Who knows what could happen? If we are all to perish, please let it not be because two fat madmen are engaged in a willy-waggling contest and because a suave black couple will be feasting on the canapés and champagne instead of a ghastly white couple.

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Our review of the Christmas period’s sartorial shockers starts with the self-same Donald Trump and his spouse Melania enjoying the New Year’s Eve festivities at Mar-a-Lago, his private club in Florida. She is wearing a $5,500 dress by Erdem. Tickets were $750 a head ($600 for members, but membership is now $200,000 a year, the fees having gone up from £100,000 a year since Trump was elected). Keep on draining that swamp, Mr President….

POTUS is as orange as a jar of marmalade whilst his ridiculous tresses have been tweaked and super-glued into the shape of a peaked cap. FLOTUS, who has the dead-eyed, rictus smile of the truly miserable, looks like a foil-wrapped Christmas bunny and has either had new breast implants or has slipped a couple of airbags under the dress because she is more upholstered than an over-stuffed sofa.

Now we have heiress Paris Hilton, wearing German designer Namilia.

A pink velour motocross outfit is just silly, like putting boxer Anthony Joshua into a tutu. But hey, it could have been worse. Namilia also makes this excrescence…

At least this horror has a crotch (of sorts). Keen Readers may recall le jean string featured in It’s Got To Go in October last year. And now take a look at singer Demi Lovato.

Call WTF old fashioned, but what is wrong with trousers with a crotch? What is even the point of suspender jeans and a corset belt, let alone when worn over shiny hosiery with pointy white bootees? Either wear trousers or don’t wear trousers. Shit or get off the pot. Frankly, Demi would have done better to have put her legs through the arms of the jacket and worn it as a skirt.

To the Palm Springs International Film Festival and actress Gal Gadot, wearing Oscar de la Renta.

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WTF might have been persuaded to overlook the fact that she has on a swimsuit as a top  but the cut of the suit is more shocking than the pink fabric and those trousers are terrible. She appears to be wearing a codpiece.

Next we go to Glasgow, where we find singer Rod Stewart at the Celtic-Rangers match wearing a hideous jumper and coat combo.

The cross-eyed lion looks as if he is ready to throw up and who can blame him? Rod is wearing a fur-lined, leather dressing gown for which some poor animal died in vain….

Next up, one of WTF’s favourite Z-listers, soap actress Chelsee Healey wearing Liverpudlian designer Patty Fashion.

Chelsee is flaunting her post-baby body, as The Mail would say, in recycled Christmas wrapping paper with plenty of groin gape, a very visible thong line and an equally visible bikini line. Classy….

And now we welcome back Swedish actress Noomi Rapace, wearing Louis Vuitton.

Another Vuitton nonsensical a-stray-bra-off-the-washing-line-has-landed-on-me nonsense.  Jennifer Connelly wore something similar a few weeks ago. This version is a leather halter neck bra worn over a fat man’s brocade waistcoat. Noomi should give her stylist a slap, a P45 and another slap and she also dispense with her hairdresser, given that she resembles a corn dolly.

AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!! THE WINNER OF THE WTF CHRISTMAS TURKEY POLL 2017 IS……….

 

DRUMROLL!!!!!!!

 

 

LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

To start with, Lewis, clad entirely in Missoni, was nowhere near the top of the poll, with TV nutritionist Gillian McKeith establishing a big lead over former TOWIE star Gemma Collins. But on Boxing Day, Lewis made nasty comments about his little nephew wearing a Princess dress and suddenly he shot into the lead and stayed there with Gillian a commendable second and Gemma third. He may not have been worse dressed than either of those two ladies, but he was certainly a lot more unpopular. Let that be a lesson to you, Lewis. Karma….

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Katie from North London, who is rightly appalled by the emergence of a horrible new phenomenon, the party-bar.


Katie says, “these pedal powered monstrosities block traffic, blast out terrible music and the people on them look miserable and uncomfortable. Just have your office party down the pub like everybody else!!” Agreed. Travelling around town is stressful enough without trolleyfuls of wankers clogging up public thoroughfares and assaulting your eardrums with karaoke renditions of “I Will Survive”.  It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Make it your New Year’s resolution to keep your comments coming in as WTF loves reading them. And don’t forget your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Honours List, Politics, UKIP, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment