WTF Sweet Home Alabama Special

Hallo Readers,

Here are some good things about Alabama. Nat King Cole. Emmy Lou Harris. Coretta Scott King. Harper Lee. Joe Louis. Jesse Owens. Rosa Parks. Hank Williams. And here are some bad things about Alabama. Jeff “I can’t recall” Sessions. Roy Moore. His wife Kayla Moore. His brother Jerry Moore. Oh mah Lord.

The Alabamian Senate seat became vacant following Sessions’ appointment as Attorney-General earlier this year. The Republican nominee for the seat is gun-totin’, bible-wavin’, sod-o-mite-hatin’ Judge Roy Moore, a man twice chucked out of judicial office, first for his refusal to remove a statue of the Ten Commandments from his courthouse and second for his refusal to follow a Supreme Court decision overturnin’ a State law against homosexuality. Moore believes that 9/11 was God’s punishment for legalisin’ sodomy and abortion. His campaign is supported by  those champions of the Church, Steve Bannon and Nigel Farage.

But then Satan, in the form of The Washington Post, intervened. Four women claimed that nearly 40 years ago, Moore, then an unmarried DA in his 30’s, molested them as teenagers. One of them had been 14 at the time. Since then, four more women have made similar allegations relating to that period. Moore insists that this is a plot to keep him out of DC and that he never dated anyone without her mother’s permission, which hardly quashes the suspicions about him. His former colleagues in the DA’s office remembered that he had always dated teenagers and a security guard recalled that the local Mall banned Moore because of his interest in young girls.

Moore’s supporters are undeterred. Some question why the women waited so long to come forward (yes, that old chestnut) or justify his behaviour because these had been “consensual relationships”. Hell, Joseph was much older than Mary and they were Jesus’ maw and paw. Jerry Moore likened his brother’s treatment to the persecution of Christ but said that “God is taking care of it”. Kayla Moore produced a letter of support for her husband signed by 50 pastors, some of whom have demanded that their names be removed from it, and she is now suggestin’, without a shred of evidence, that the accusers are being paid. Oh, and there was the tweet from a bot, now deleted, which claimed that someone had heard from someone else’s auntie that a Post reporter was offerin’ women 1000$ (sic) to say that Moore had molested them. Others go further, openly declarin’ that they would rather vote for a paedeophile than for a Democrat. Because of course Obamacare and gun control are so much worse than child molestation. Last week, Joe Walsh claimed that his right to carry a firearm “comes from God.” This week, Alabamian nutters are telling us that He also sanctifies lyin’ and kiddy-fiddlin’. The hypocrisy is just breathtakin’.

Senator Al Franken, who had put Sessions on the spot during the Confirmation process, was yesterday accused of kissing and groping a woman’s breasts in 2006. What Franken did was completely wrong but it does not make Moore’s molestation (or Trump’s) right. And at least Franken has the guts to admit he was wrong and to refer himself to the Ethics Committee. If only others could say the same. The President of the USA in particular.

The irony is that Sessions himself may soon be out of a job, either because he won’t follow Trump’s deranged demands that he prosecute the Clintons for anythin’ and everythin’ (to his credit, Sessions seems to be resistin’) or for lyin’ to Congress. Sadly, Sessions is afflicted by Trumpitis Russki Amnesia, a condition affecting the memory of those involved in Trump’s Presidential campaign, the effect of which is that they forget anythin’ to do with Russia, whether it be a politician or a plate of piroshki. During the Senate Confirmation process, Sessions said that he knew nothin’ about contacts between the campaign and Russia but since then he has done more rowin’ back than Steve Redgrave as evidence emerges drip by drip. One thing is clear. A man with a memory as bad as his is unfit to be the coffee boy in the Justice Department, let alone to run it. Sessions would probably not even remember where Starbucks was, far less who had requested an extra shot in their soy cappuccino.

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We start the week’s sartorial silliness with the loathsome Louise Linton, the Marie-Antoinette of US politics, seen with her husband Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury Secretary. WTF aficionados Jen and Philippa both alerted her to this picture of Mnuchin showing off the new dollar bills with his signature to his designer-clad bride.

This gruesome twosome would do well to remember 1 Timothy 6:10 “the love of money is the root of all evil” At least they have one thing in common. Meanwhile, he should stop bringing his wife to work and she should stop dressing as Coco the Commander. 

To the Glamour Awards and Beyonce’s singer, Solange Knowles, wearing Jean Paul Gaultier.

That split is virtually waist-high and is putting horrified onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment. If a mouldy lemon went to a fancy dress party dressed as Princes Leia in bionic gloves, this is what it would look like.

To the MTV EMA awards in London, and nominee rapper Stefflon Don wearing who even knows what.

Several Muppets died to make the coat and it wasn’t even big enough to cover that excrescence of an outfit.

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This is Demi Lovato wearing Styland.

Demi is dressed as a clown with tits and without feet. Those trousers could sleep a family of four.

Next up we have actor and singer Jared Leto, wearing Gucci. He always does.

He looks like a Dulux colour chart for the range “vomit florals”.

And here we have singer Zara Larsson wearing Alessandra Rich. Sunglasses on!

Ouch! This looks like a bundle of newly washed sheets after someone has inadvertently left a coloured sock in the machine.

The host of the event was singer Rita Ora, wearing Palomo Spain.

CNN is running a brilliant ad, Facts First. This is an apple. Some people might say it’s a banana. They might scream banana, banana, banana, over and over and over again. They might put BANANA in all caps. You might start to believe that it’s a banana. But it’s not. It’s an apple”.  Similarly, this is a dressing gown. Some people might say it’s couture. They might scream couture, couture, couture, over and over and over again. They might put COUTURE in all caps. You might start to believe that it’s couture. But it’s not. It’s a dressing gown.  

And finally, meet singer and MTV nominee Petite Meller.


Petite seems to have overdone it with the blusher and the pink nose makes her look as if she has a nasty cold. She seems to have wandered in from playing a particularly bedraggled, mingetastic danseuse in a film biography of Toulouse-Lautrec.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from Rebecca of Cornwall, who is rightly up in arms following the despicable Daily Telegraph front page on Wednesday, calling Tory MPs opposed to a Brexit without proper Parliamentary scrutiny, “mutineers”. The Daily Mail was not far behind, dubbing them “collaborators”.

This continues the outrageous trend which described the Judges who ruled that Article 50 could not be triggered without a vote as “Enemies of the People” and ‘Traitors” and labelled Remainers as “Saboteurs”. So much for restoring Parliamentary Sovereignty. Both the Mail and the Telegraph are owned by patriots who love this country so much that they live elsewhere to avoid tax. 

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything. And please keep those excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go coming.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

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Posted in Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Jeff Sessions, Joe Walsh, MTV EMAs, Nigel Farage, Politics, Roy Moore, sexism, Steve Bannon, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Nazanin Special

Hallo Readers,

There are many reasons to despise Boris Johnson. His lies. His Brexit lies. His lack of conscience. His betrayal of wives, mistresses, colleagues. His bluster. His failure to master his brief. But Johnson has now plumbed new depths with his negligence and his arrogance exposing a British woman to the risk of years in an Iranian prison, yet refusing to apologise. Worse still, he is unsackable – and he knows it.

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Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe lived, and please God, will again live, in Hampstead, North London, with her husband Richard and their daughter Gabriella, now aged three. He is an accountant, she works as a project manager for the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters. On 16 March 2016, Nazanin, who has dual British and Iranian nationality, took Gabriella to visit her parents for the Iranian New Year. On 3 April 2016, she was arrested, spending most of the next nine months in solitary confinement. Gabriella is still with Nazanin’s parents and has been in Iran for so long that she has forgotten all her English, whilst Richard’s Farsi is less than fluent, making phone calls difficult. In September 2016, Nazanin was sentenced to five years in prison for “allegedly plotting to topple the Iranian regime”, after a “trial” without legal representation or any details about the charges against her.

In the 14 months since taking office, Johnson refused to meet Richard, even in the company of his MP, Tulip Siddiq, although yesterday he graciously changed his mind. As Foreign Secretary, Johnson was clearly briefed that Nazanin had worked for the BBC Media Action’s International charitable project between 2009-2010, which was problematic because the Iranian Government was enraged that the BBC had offered training courses to Iranian journalists, some of whom have been threatened or incarcerated. It was therefore an act of folly for him to tell a Foreign Affairs Committee last week that “If you look at what Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe was doing, she was simply teaching people journalism as I understand it, at the very limit”, not so much adding fuel to the fire as driving an oil tanker into it. After the ensuing uproar, Johnson grudgingly telephoned his Iranian counterpart to say he had been “misrepresented”, but the damage had been done. On Saturday, Nazanin was dragged back to court where Johnson’s comments were cited as proof that she had been engaged in “propaganda against the regime”, which could result in her sentence being doubled.

Any politician, any decent human being, who had wrought such havoc would immediately have apologised to Nazanin and Richard and to Parliament and grovelled to the Iranian Government. But Johnson is far more interested in himself than in a innocent woman, a bereft husband and a little girl separated from both her parents. On Tuesday, he turned up in the Commons, denied all responsibility for what had happened and blamed his critics for “politicising” the issue before eventually conceding that “my words could have clearer”, adding “I’m sorry if any words of mine have been so taken out of context and so misconstrued to cause anxiety to Nazanin’s family.” Any apology beginning with the words “I’m sorry if” is not an apology, it is a fucking insult. Johnson’s was even more insulting because he insisted that the anxiety” (anxiety? terror is more like it) had been caused by his words being taken “out of context”, which was a blatant lie. (When people claim their words have been taken out of context, they never tell you what the context actually was). In any event, his “apology” made no difference because on Wednesday, Iranian TV announced that Johnson’s initial statement was “an unintended confession”.

May has already lost one Brexiteer Cabinet Minister this week. Priti Patel, “resigned” over her unauthorised contacts with Israel , which she then lied about. Last year Patel famously stood in front of the Brexit Bus promising £350m a week for the NHS. Now she has been thrown under it, replaced by Penny Mordaunt, the other one in the photo, who falsely claimed that the UK could not veto Turkey joining the EU, thus allowing millions of Turks to come over and swamp us all.

 

However, May needs to balance her tottering Cabinet between Leavers and Remainers and Johnson is a leading Brexiteer and has to stay put. And so, disgracefully, Tories spent the week defending the indefensible, maintaining that Johnson has apologised, which he has not, and that attacks should not be made on the Foreign Office but on Iran. As if they do not know that it is the oafish, preening, Johnson, a man patently unfit for his (or any) role, who is the one under attack; as if they believe that anyone condones Iran’s outrageous conduct. But a Tory Government is far more important than some inconsequential North London family and so they deflect blame, enabling Johnson to pursue his squalid, political ambitions over the freedom and safety of people whose interests he is supposed to protect. Scum always rises to the top. And, in Johnson’s case, it looks like he is staying there whilst Nazanin Zaghary-Ratcliffe languishes in prison. For shame.

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We begin our review of the week’s fashion foul-ups at The Inside Soap Awards in London, always a prime source of sartorial shite, with soap star Gemma Merna wearing House of CB.

House of CB specialises in dressing soap stars in titsy, tawdry clothing, all peekaboo, under-boob and Minge Moments. Hideous.

Next up we have actress Diane Kruger at the Inaugural Indiewire Honors in LA, wearing Dior.

Lederhosen with genitalia curtains, also in leather. Yurgle. Meanwhile, the choker makes Diane’s head seem attached to her neck with masking tape.

This is French actress Josephine de la Baume, at the London premiere of Murder on the Orient Express, wearing Self-Portrait.

This looks like a half-knitted sweater Granny had to abandon unexpectedly when her false teeth fell out and she got distracted. As for the shoes, they are simply beyond hideous.

Next up is singer Mary J. Blige at the Hollywood Film Awards, wearing Zuhair Murad.

Like a circus ringmaster with nipple pasties.

Here is the thing about nipple pasties. You should not wear them because you should not be wearing anything needing nipple pasties. But if you do need them, let them at least be the same colour as your nipples. That is all there is to be said about nipple pasties.

And now the Country Music Awards 2017 in Nashville, where horror is always in abundance.  Here is actor and singer Rudy Mancuso.

Who lent him that bomber jacket – Giant Haystacks?

More nonsense in the shapes of LoCash, aka Chris Lucas (left) and Preston Brust.

WTF cannot work out what is happening with Chris’ shirt and his trainers are to be deplored whilst Preston seems to have based his look on the late Jackie Collins.

Finally, singer Maren Morris wearing Francesco Scognamilio.

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This seems to be made out of plastic poultry wire with a frilly overhang, genitalia curtains and some nasty growths around the waist, like exploding pustules. And those accessories! Maren’s stylist needs a slap, a P45 and another slap.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF of Islington, who remains aghast at the stupidity of Americans who cling stubbornly to the Second Amendment and then express shock when psychopaths exercise their inalienable right to shoot strangers in churches and schools. The biggest prick of the week was former Congressman, and current radio loudmouth, Joe Walsh (emphatically NOT the one from The Eagles) who tweeted this the day after 26 people were murdered WHILST AT PRAYER in a Baptist chapel in Sutherland Springs, Texas:

You all remember the Bible passage in which the Good Lord sanctions the right to carry a gun (first invented 1364 A.D.) It is in the Book of Colossian Pricks. Hallelujah! 

He (Joe, not the Good Lord) has SO Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And please don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Country Music Awards, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Joe Walsh, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Politics, Second Amendment, Sutherland Springs, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Westminster Sex Scandals, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Spreadsheet of Shame Special

Hallo Readers,

Last week, we had allegations against Labour MP Javed O’Mara who was suspended for all manner of discriminatory comments and yobbery. This week it got much, much worse. Bex Bailey, a respected Labour activist, complained that she had been raped by a Party colleague in 2011. When she told a Party official, she was warned not to report it. 36 Tory MPs were accused of all sorts in a leaked Spreadsheet of Shame, most names tantalisingly redacted and the rest freely available on Twitter. The Defence Secretary resigned, purportedly for putting his hand on a female journalist’s knee 15 years ago. But last night, there was even more. Labour suspended Kelvin Hopkins MP, 76, following an allegation of sexual assault on a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. Then we learned, to the surprise of absolutely no-one, that Sir Michael Fallon had been forced to resign after more allegations of seedy, sexist behaviour. We were surprised to learn that the complaints were made by his Cabinet colleague Andrea Leadsom, who told the Prime Minister that six years earlier, Fallon had made lewd comments to her, put his arm around around her and had also behaved badly to, and about, other women. Given that May had just told the Commons that she would weed out Ministers who behaved in this way, some may feel that Leadsom was right to report him now, but she will cop it big time nonetheless.

In a twist worthy of House of Cards, the Chief Whip Gavin Williamson, who negotiated Fallon’s exit, succeeded him as Defence Secretary, despite never having held Ministerial Office. But then Williamson not only knows where the bodies are buried, but was also Witch Finder General and Gravedigger-in-Chief. His list includes Deputy PM Damian Green, who allegedly subscribed to an adulterers’ website (which he denies). Since then, a young woman journalist has accused him of putting his hand on her knee; he claims he thought it was the tablecloth. Michael Garnier sent his female PA to buy sex toys. Stephen Crabb has “inappropriate relations with women”. Crabb, a ‘devout Christian’, resigned as a Minister last year for sexting, and admits to have been at it again, making outrageous remarks to a women he was interviewing for a job and then texting her to tell her he would like to have sex with her. Mrs Crabb must be thrilled. What a catch. A wealth of unnamed MPs were said to be “inappropriate” or “handsy” with women or men and sometimes with both. Some on that list may have been unfairly accused (several have outed themselves and protested their innocence, like Rory Stewart) and the authors of the list are unknown. However, that still leaves some important men, often pissed on subsidised alcohol, in London during the week away from their wife or partner and possessed of a pronounced sense of entitlement. As Isabella put it in Measure for Measure“Man, proud man, dressed in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he’s most assured”. To date, no Tory MP has been suspended, although there seems to be plenty of grounds to do so in some cases.

Oddly, some on the Spreadsheet of Shame are chastised for consensual workplace relationships, including Home Secretary Amber Rudd, who, like her partner, is  single. Another female, married, Minister is accused of “fornicating”, for God’s sake, as if we were living in 17th Century Salem. One (male) MP is said to like sex whilst wearing women’s perfume. Others had gay sex. So what? It does a major disservice to those harassed or sexually assaulted to lump the perpetrators together with people in a genuine relationship, whether straight or gay. 

Inevitably, some MPs have expressed outrage at what they term misplaced political correctness and complain that men are no longer able to flirt. Flirt! As if leering at women and handling them like meat is flirting. These arrogant little men – in all parties – pontificate on others’  behaviour but consider themselves free to lay hands on, or to proposition, women (and men) who are, in their view, there to be the subject of crude, sexual “banter’, to be ogled or pawed or badgered into bed and then bought off when they complain about it. When he resigned, Fallon invoked the Weinstein defence, namely that things used to be different. They were but only because people were too scared to speak out, to be dismissed as fantasists or liars and quietly got rid of. And with good reason. This week the White House Press Secretary said that the women who had accused Trump of molesting them were all “liars”. This week, the Daily Mail, the UK version of Fox News, launched a vile attack on Kate Maltby for making harassment allegations against Damian Green, painting her as an opportunist seeking to launch her political career. Colleagues are already smearing Leadsom for speaking out and are furious with her for rocking the boat. This week, successful journalists like Anne Robinson, Jan Moir and Sarah Vine mocked women for not “manning up”. But people should not have to speak up about being groped, harassed or assaulted. They should be able to do their job or meet or interview an MP without being groped or harassed or assaulted. Here are some words for those affronted, handsy, victimised, MPs to reflect upon. Respect. Dignity. Professionalism. Self-restraint. Equality. Keep your hands to yourself. The days of droit de seigneur are at an end. Get over it or get the hell out.

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This week was Halloween. When you survey the week’s sartorial shockers, you will see that it was hard to tell who was in costume and who was not, starting with singer Ellie Goulding at the Bulgari Party in New York, wearing Redemption.

Ellie looks like a bat bedecked in Bulgari diamonds.

Still in New York, we meet another bat, French actress Adèle Exarchopoulos wearing Louis Vuitton at a Louis Vuitton event.

What is it with this bat thing? Did you know that Melbourne, Australia was once called Batmania? Maybe someone from Melbourne now works for LV. Or maybe the design team at LV has gone stark, staring, mad. WTF is voting for option two. Adèle looks miserable as hell and understandably so.

And here is actress Jennifer Connelly, also wearing Louis Vuitton. She always does as she is one of LV’s muses.

Jennifer is moonlighting in a Bavarian Bierkeller. Ja! WTF feels to compelled to criticise the fake tan, a shade that should now be known as Trumporange.

Still in New York, we go to the 2017 Innovator Awards to find supermodel Naomi Campbellwearing Jean-Paul Gaultier.

One sleeve is bad enough, but one leg as well? Even Naomi cannot make this work. And at first sight, it looks as if she has a giant pimple on her nose.

No. Just no.

Another guest was dancer/choreographer Ryan Heffington, wearing a most preposterous ensemble.

Ryan is wearing a patterned shirt and giant matching trewsies with one of the most disturbing crotches WTF has ever seen, like a massive codpiece.  

We cross the States to Hollywood and the Latin American Music Awards where we encounter singer Alejandra Guzmán.

The skirt and train make her look like a contortionist standing with her trunk twisted 90 degrees to face the camera. In case you are wondering, illusion panels are holding the thing together with a zip up the back. Just terribly, terribly, terrible.

We conclude at the Pride of Britain Awards in London with McFly singer Tom Fletcher and his wife Giovanna. Giovanna looks lovely. Tom, on the other hand, does not.

There has been some rascal suiting in the blog over the years but this is bad. Tom’s jacket is squeezing him tighter than a boa constrictor’s cuddle and is at least two sizes too small, the trousers are decidedly snug and the shirt is an affront on its own, let alone when paired with the suit. The patterns remind WTF of a clown about to squirt water in your eye.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in and your top suggestions for It’s Got To Go (there was no room for it this week, what with everything going on). Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Gavin Willliamson, Jared O'Mara, Michael Fallon, Politics, sexism, Spreadsheet of Shame, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Westminster Sex Scandals, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

WTF Jared Special

Hallo Readers, 

At the start of 2017, Jared O’Mara was a 35-year-old, Ed Sheeran lookalikey who ran a nightclub in Sheffield called West Street Live. WTF’s advice is to stay away for reasons that will become apparent as you read on. O’Mara was born with cerebral palsy, got a First in Journalism at Staffordshire University and has creditably spent years campaigning to help those with disabilities. Then in May, without warning, Theresa May called her disastrous General Election which caused a problem for the Sheffield Hallam CLP as it had no candidate and had to find one in a hurry. They chose O’Mara, seemingly without a competitive interview, and he fought the campaign on a platform of pro Corbyn, anti-austerity and help for disabilities. To everyone’s amazement, the sitting MP and former Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg lost his seat and on 9 June, O’Mara was suddenly Jared O’Mara MP. It is fair to say that his performance has been undistinguished. He is yet to make his Maiden Speech, has asked only six written Parliamentary Questions but he was appointed to the Women and Equalities Committee.

And then it all went tits up.  A right-wing website unearthed remarks O’Mara had made on Facebook over a decade ago, showing him to be a seriously nasty young man. Gays were referred to as ‘fudge-packers’ and ‘poofters’. He disparaged fat people, fantasised about an orgy with Girls Aloud (minus, for some reason, Sarah Harding), and expressed his dislike of singer Jamie Cullen by expressing the wish that he (Jamie) would be sodomised ‘with his own piano so that he died of a sore arse’. The Labour Party dithered whilst O’Mara resigned from the Women and Equalities Committee and apologised for his remarks, saying that had made them as a young man at a difficult time in his life and now understood that they were very offensive. We have all made comments we regret, but O’Mara seems to have stockpiled them for a rainy day. And now it is pissing down.

Worse was to come. Sophie Evans, 25, described how she had met O’Mara on a dating site but did not go out with him. When he later saw her at his club, he told her, in front of her friends, “I wouldn’t touch you with a manky woman’s cock, you ugly bitch”. This was in March 2017, only three months before becoming her MP. Then Liz Aspden, 42, alleged that O’Mara had stood by and smirked as bouncers threw her out of his nightclub (on his orders) giving her a black eye. The next day, Labour suspended O’Mara after yet more old comments appeared, including a reference to women as ‘sexy little slags’, to Spaniards as ‘dagos’ and to Danes as ‘pig-fuckers’. What a pity that O’Mara is (for now) a Labour MP. With those views about foreigners, he would fit right in at Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office.

O’Mara, who denies the recent allegations, maintains that he has ‘been on a journey’ since his 20s. If Ms Evans and Ms Aspden are telling the truth, it seems that his journey ended well before he had reached his destination. His comments from ten years back could have been forgiven had there been some evidence that he had actually changed. But if the new allegations are correct, he has not changed at all and the people of Sheffield Hallam deserve better. Much better. His presence on the Women and Equalities Committee was like Mike Pence becoming trustee of an Abortion Charity. It is time for O’Mara to restart his journey and travel far, far away from Westminster and into the obscurity where he so clearly belongs.

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We start our review of the week’s ghoulish garb with Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson of whom we spoke earlier.

No, sorry, we have all had enough of this sorry slob. His politics are quite bad enough but he could at least try and look the part of Foreign Secretary, even if he does not behave like one. The hair! The collar with rampant wingitis! The ridiculous trousers! WTF has seen better dressed scarecrows.

Here is a newcomer to these pages, actress Lake Bell, wearing Rosie Assoulin.


To be frank, Rosie Assoulin is taking the piss as she has put the lovely Lake into a scarlet shopping bag.

 

This is singer Kelly Rowland wearing George Chakra couture at the Instyle Awards.

When did Kinky Bride become an actual thing? WFF is baffled. Baffled.

The same event saw stylist Petra Flannery wearing Valentino.

Is there was ever a case of Physician Heal Thyself, as Jesus was wont to remark, this is it, a disturbing mix of little girlie frock and faux bra that is just downright pervy, Shirley Temple goes streetwalking in sassy sandals.

To New York and actress Amy Sedaris, out and about in a very frothy concoction.

Amy looks like an exploded geranium and that wide-legged stance could best be described as unfortunate….

Now we have singer and celebrity hair stylist Jesse Montana, wearing some truly terrible Bieber-like trousers at the Make A Wish Gala.

Either Jesse is hung like a giant stallion or those trousers are just plain stupid. That crotch is not so much dropped as collapsed.  If WTF made a wish, it would be that she never had to see Jesse or his trouser again.

Meet TV Presenter Dr Gillian McKeith turned at a film premiere in London last night wearing this thing by Alisa Vaseghi.

When did it become alright for ladies of a certain age to go about dressed like this? Or, for that matter, anyone? Gillian sprang to fame examining faecal matter on TV health programmes. Now she is wearing it.

Finally, she is back! Yes, we have singer Rita Ora wearing Burberry.

Burberry used to be the uniform of the CHAV, defined in the dictionary as a “young lower-class person typified by brash and loutish behaviour”. Then Christopher Bailey took over and it got all poncy and pricy. If you want this absurdity, do not bother paying ££££££££ for it. WTF has  discovered a fancy dress shop in Byker, Newcastle (birthplace of Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Fernandez-Versini-Cheryl, or whatever her name is these days) called Make Believe where you can hire this “Chavette” outfit for only £27 50. And you get a matching bag!

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes (quite separately) from WTF aficionados Lady Sumarumi, Pete Clark, Andrew Purcell and Annette about these “thong jeans” by Japanese designer Thibaut. They sound slightly better in French, where they are referred to as “le jean-string”. They are, without question, the stupidest things ever in the history of ever, although not quite as offensive as the scrote tote, (those who saw it still bear the mental scars). Here we go. Brace yourselves …

And the rear…

Like denim ropes anchoring a flagpole. What nonsense is this? The only benefit of these jeans is that if you were to be caught short, you could relieve yourself from, er, front or back bottom with minimum fuss.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, General Election, Instyle Awards, Jared O'Mara, Politics, racism, sexism, Theresa May, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Trump Telephone Special

 Hallo Readers, 

When Donald J Trump was elected President, some people still hoped for a Damascene conversion to something more thoughtful, more measured, less mendacious, that he would be guided by the knowledge, wisdom and experience of his advisers. Yes, they were really that stupid. Of course, there was no Damascene conversion. Trump has not even flown over the road to Damascus on his way to another weekend of golf. And the morons and bigots who voted for him would not want it any other way. As Barry White sang, “Don’t go changing….I love you just the way you are”. They love him for being a narcissist devoid of compassion, a bully and a pathological liar.

On 4 October, four US soldiers were killed in Niger. As Commander in Chief, a President, any President, is required to write or phone or meet Gold Star Families, to thank them for the service and bravery of their loved one and to say a few words of comfort. But this bloated, draft-dodging braggart, a man who boasted that his personal Vietnam had been in avoiding the clap, did not contact the families or even refer to them in his daily tsunami of tweets. On Monday he was asked why, at which point he did what he always does. He made it all about him and he lied. He said he had written letters that weekend which were, or shortly would be, in the post and would call when it was appropriate   He said Obama had not telephoned Gold Star Families whereas he, Trump, always both wrote and telephoned. before admitting that he did not actually know what past Presidents had done. He then told us how upsetting these phone calls were for him. Who knew talking to bereaved families could be so hard? 

On Tuesday, Trump called Myeshia Johnson, the pregnant widow of Sgt La David Johnson, whilst she was in a car taking her, her two children, her husband’s mother Cowanda Jones-Johnson and a family friend, Rep Frederica Wilson, to Miami airport to meet the coffin. On Wednesday, Rep. Wilson publicly criticised that call. She said Trump had told Mrs Johnson “..that’s what he signed up for but I guess it hurts anyway”. Even worse, he had not mentioned Sgt Johnson by name. The Cretin-in-Chief immediately accused the “Democrat Congresswoman” of “fabricating” her account. Rep Wilson stood by her story, which was confirmed by Mrs Jones-Johnson and by another passenger in the car. Trump again denied it, claiming he had “a very nice conversation” with “the woman, the wife”, probably because he had no fucking idea what her name was. Only Trump could claim to have had “a very nice conversation’ with a sobbing widow on her way to receive her husband’s coffin, but then this is the man who told homeless Puerto Ricans to “have a good time” and threw paper towels at them like chucking fish to seals at feeding time.

We now know Trump did refer to Sgt Johnson as “your guy” and not by his name. This was confirmed by Comical Ali in drag, Sarah Sanders. We know that he said, “he knew what he signed up for”. This was confirmed by General Kelly, who was supposed to be the “proof” that this was not said. Rep. Wilson and Mrs Jones-Johnson were therefore not lying but no one will ever apologise to them. Instead Trump, Sanders, Kelly and the rabid Trumpers attacked her for “politicising” the call. Kelly, who is now Trump’s gatekeeper, said he was stunned by “that woman” reporting on a private conversation between the President and a young wife (in which case, why was he listening to it and did Mrs Johnson know he was?) and that Trump had tried to comfort the family “in the best way he could”. (In other words, Trump had completely screwed it up). The point is not that Rep Wilson listened to the conversation and then talked about it. The point is that Trump lied about Obama’s past practice to cover his own dereliction of duty and then lied about Rep Wilson and, by implication, about Mrs Jones-Johnson, to cover up the inadequacy of his call. (He has not contacted every Gold Star family either – another lie). Do you think Trump and Kelly would have been outraged if Rep Wilson had praised his warmth and compassion during that call?

Attacking Gold Star families is getting to be a bit of a habit. And what do Rep Wilson, Mrs Jones-Johnson and the Muslim family Gazir and Ghazala Khan whom Trump attacked last year all have in common? They are not white.  It is a wonder Trump could restrain himself from using the word “uppity”.

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Let us start our review of the week’s clothing crapulence with singer Paloma Faith at the Q Awards in London.

We haven’t seen Paloma on these pages for quite a while but this horror is more than worthy of inclusion. Why would a grown woman want to go out and about dressed as a stick of rock? And where are her feet?

But Readers! That is not even the worst of it. She is wearing gold lip rings.

Some of us who have heard Paloma warbling away over the years might well have wanted her to to keep quiet. But not by stapling her lips together, which is just horrible.

To the AmFAR gala in Los Angeles and artist Romero Britto. His suit is very shiny.

WTF does not like a shiny suit, especially when it is worn with ill-fitting trousers with some unfortunate colour shading in the crotch area, suggesting leakage. And those bejewelled sneakers!

Next up, we have singer Rihanna wearing items from her new range, Fenty x Puma.

The top half of this ensemble is inspired by a Scottish serving wench from Braveheart whilst the bottom half is a homage to the historic moment when Neil Armstrong first set foot on the moon. All Rihanna needs is an upturned fishbowl on her head to complete the look…..

We call in at the at the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards and meet actress Juliette Lewis wearing Andreas Kronthaler for Vivienne Westwood.

This is the lovechild of a Spanish Flamenco dancer and a Christmas Bacofoil Centurion. Olé!

Actress Kristen Stewart was also Elle’s guest, wearing Antonio Beradi instead of her usual Chanel.

Love the shoes. Quite like the trousers. Could even have lived with the bralet. But that jacket is an It’s Got To Go all on its own with the ubiquitous cold-shoulder that is not actually bare but held together by a pair of old tights.

Actress Nicole Kidman accompanied her husband singer Keith Urban to the CMT Artists Awards in Nashville,  wearing Versace.

Here is a WTF rule. No one looks good in vaginal pink velvet, not even when the dress is nicer than this one. 

Finally, to the TIDAL Benefit in Los Angeles where we encounter rapper Remy Ma, wearing a Jennifer Le fur jacket and Fendi furri bootees. Oh, and her underwear…

Fur has come back as an actual thing after years in the fashion wilderness. WTF confesses to having hung on to her late mother’s mink coat from the 1970’s which she wore to the funeral by way of homage (plus it was a very cold day). But the point of fur is to keep you warm, not to wear it with everything else hanging out and stupid bootees like a polar bear’s paws.

 

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Sue Peters, who has raised her pet hate, namely the use of adjectives as nouns, such as `My Bad` or`Feed my Funny` (used by the BBC) or `Feed your happy` which has its own website or even ‘Find my Happy’.  It’s bollocks. It’s offensive. It’s twee. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, CMT Music Awards 2017, Donald Trump, Elle Women in Hollywood, General Kelly, Politics, racism, Rep Frederica Wilson, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

WTF Weinstein Special

Hallo Readers,

WTF never knew that onanism with an ornamental plant was an actual thing, whether with or without others present. It certainly gives a new meaning to the word tosspot. Be that as it may, it is more evidence that Harvey Weinstein is a pig who should probably be in jail and should certainly be cast out of public life, a serial sex pest who harassed and sexually assaulted (and allegedly raped) women. Now we know his MO. Get a young woman up to your hotel suite on some pretext. Expose your fat, hairy body and a stiff schlong. Position yourself between the intimidated woman and the exit whilst demanding that she massage you or  watch you shower or pleasure you. Make it clear that a refusal will damage her career. If she tries to leave, chase her round the room, balls bouncing. Or she may agree because she is overwhelmed or does not think she can overpower your 6 foot, 300 lb. frame or is frightened for her career. Either way, for you it is not about sex but about power and humiliation. Weinstein liked humiliating people, whether by masturbating in front of women in private or by shouting and screaming at men in public. Now he is the one left humiliated – exposed by his accusers, abandoned by his wife, shunned by his colleagues, sacked by his company and denounced by one and all.  The grimmest joke is that the man now putting the whine into Weinstein insists that he ‘respects women’. Of course he doesn’t. He was just exercising his film mogul’s droit de seigneur

There has been a nauseating outbreak of faux-outrage on all sides, a political game of ‘your sex pest is worse than our sex pest’. The Republicans attacked the Democrats and their thespian supporters for not rushing to condemn Weinstein. Donna Karan indicated that women might have asked for it by the way they dress (and then swiftly recanted). The Clintons and the Obamas were certainly far too slow to speak out, as were some major stars and Bill Clinton is undoubtedly  as sleazy as fuck. But the complaints against them came from the same Republicans who staunchly defended Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly at Fox News against very similar allegations, the same Republicans whose President laughingly confessed on tape to sexually assaulting women and as regards whom 15 women have gone public. Donald Trump Jr, that boil on the bum of society, mocked Hillary Clinton’s links to Weinstein, despite his own father’s revolting conduct. One hardly knew whom to despise first.

But it was not just what did the Clintons and the Obamas know and when did they know it. Many people obviously did know about Weinstein. The assistants who set up the hotel meetings. The Ray Donovan types who hushed it up.  The Hollywood moguls and major movie stars who shrugged it off as ‘well, that’s Harvey’. The journalists who traded their silence about Weinstein in exchange for juicy stories about someone else. The lawyers who negotiated the pay-offs and the company officials who authorised them – in Weinstein’s case, eight of them. Eight! But still he carried on running the companies and everyone let him carry on.  Just as Fox News settled the claims against Ailes and O’Reilly. The industry regards women as commodities who are only there to flash their bits. It takes real guts to be a whistleblower in any workplace but even more where the giant corporations and the multi-millionaires have the means, the contacts and the power to crush troublemakers or to buy their silence, knowing who is deemed more valuable to the organisation. The first women to speak out this week opened the doors for others to do so. But to blame these women for having stayed silent for so long is just one more assault on them in a La La Land where sexism is rife, dinosaur are still in charge and many prefer to look the other way and cash the cheques.

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We start our review of the week’s atrocious attire at a Royal Wedding in Belgrade last Saturday. WTF loves a Royal Wedding, even where the Royals in question are no longer occupying a throne. Remember Prince Ernst of Hanover’s terrible trousers? Well here is another stinker, as worn by Danica Marikovic at her wedding to Prince Philip of Serbia. The bride is wearing Roksanda Illinic.

Love the crowns but that mishmash of a hospital gown and a sumo wrestler’s kimono is by Roksanda Illinic? Seriously? It simply does not fit anywhere, particularly around the chest, as this picture of the happy couple amply demonstrates.

Here is actress Ruth Wilson at the London Film Festival, wearing Dior.

Yes, those giant Dior panties are back again. Will they never go away? The sweater is cute but the skirt is just a kiddies’ shower curtain with a zip.

And now some shocking super-shockers from the BET Hip Hop Awards in Miami Beach, starting with chart-topping rapper Cardi B, wearing Lauren DeWitt.

This is not so much Lauren DeWitt as Lauren HalfWitt, not to mention Cardi HalfNipple. Plastic protuberances pretending to be tits, genitalia curtains, it is all there. Cardi B used to be an exotic dancer and sadly she is still dressing like one.

Next up, we have lyricist and singer Jazz Anderson, wearing Ashton Michael.

The pink is marking Breast Cancer Awareness, which is Good. But the combat jacket and frayed Robinson Crusoe trousers are Bad. Very Bad.

Nearly as bad as that completely baffling crotch, the female equivalent of elephant vagina syndrome as pioneered by designer Thom Browne.

Meet a rapper called Plies.

WTF has a sneaking admiration for the coat. But not when it is worn with that hat and without a shirt. And this is yet another example of terrible men’s trousers – these ones are folding everywhere with more angles than a Jenga Tower. 

Two hip hop artistes hit the Red Carpet in the same TLZ L’FEMME skirt. Well, I say skirt. First there was  Brianna Perry.


 

And then there was Premadonna in a white version with black lacing and $10,000 St Laurent boots.

That is not a skirt. That is an assortment of large laundry labels tied together with string. And just think of the indentations….

And finally we have a person called Keyshia Ka’oir, the fiancée of rapper Gucci Mane.  She is “wearing” Gucci and the same St Laurent boots. Careful now. You thought Brianna and Premadonna were bad? Wait until you clock this one….

For a Plus One, she seems a trifle underdressed. Why would you wear a chain mail bodysuit? Meanwhile, WTF is going to take a punt here and suggest that those tits are not natural. In fact they are the most unnatural-looking tits she has seen for quite a while, like a pair of Puerto Rican maracas separated from their handles.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from Martyn from Isleworth, West London, who is most exercised about Theresa May’s Vivienne Westwood jacket. 

Martyn’s point is that the jacket is a metaphor for the woman herself – confused and ill-fitting. It is as if she could not decide what shade to wear and so wore this Joseph-and-his-jacket-of-many-tweedy-colours so as to avoid making a decision. WTF agrees and would add that wearing Vivienne Westwood or those saucy shoes May favours or both is her way of trying to tell us that she may seem stupefyingly dull but actually she has this fun, wild side. Except that we know she doesn’t. And this jacket has Got To Go

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

Posted in BET Hip-Hop Awards, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Harvey Weinstein, Hillary Clinton, Politics, sexism, Theresa May, Uncategorized, US Election, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

WTF Theresa May Special

Hallo Readers, 

As Claudius remarked in Hamlet, “Gertrude, Gertrude, When sorrows come, they come not single spiesBut in battalions”. Claudius must have had Theresa May in mind, although in her case, sorrows have come in armies the size of Russia’s and China’s combined. First she called a General Election that wiped out her majority, the worst public decision since Prince Oberyn Martell fannied about in his trial by combat against Ser Gregor in Game of Thrones and got his skull crushed and his eyes popped out. Then on Wednesday she made the speech from hell to the Tory Party Conference in Manchester. A “prankster” (read “tosspot” and as funny as an outbreak of haemorrhoids) interrupted her speech to hand her a P45, allegedly on behalf of Boris Johnson. She then had a sustained fit of coughing last seen when Mimi pegs out in Act Four of La Bohème. And the backdrop, bearing the words “Building A Country That Works For Everyone”, which had held up all week despite the gallons of guff and hot air emanating from the podium, suddenly succumbed to Brewer’s Droop with letters falling gently to ground like autumn leaves. One can but be thankful that the “o” stayed up in “Country” .

Mrs Maybe soldiered on in that dully determined way of hers. To her credit, she did not run away or have an attack of the vapours. But it did nothing to improve her image as a dead duck quacking. Her interviews throughout the week were punctured with braying laughter, faux-cheeriness and an insistence that her party was united, which everyone knew to be Fake News. Even had her speech been delivered in a voice as mellifluous as a BBC newsreader, it would still have been more uninspiring than a glass of prune juice. The electorate do not like her. Her Party do not trust her. The  Brexiteers suspect her of a sell-out. Her Cabinet is sharpening the knives. And now, a former Chair of the Party is openly calling for her to fall on her sword.  In short, it has all gone totally tits up.

But you can say this for Mrs Maybe. She is all that stands between us and bloated buffoon Boris Johnson, a man as fit to be our chief diplomat as Donald Trump is to man the phone for the Samaritans. On Sunday, Johnson again undercut the Prime Minister by setting out his own “red lines” for Brexit, prompting further calls for his dismissal. On Tuesday, he made a stirring Conference speech urging Britain to embrace leaving the EU and to “Let the Lion Roar”. It was more Katy Perry than Winston Churchill but it seems to go down well in the Hall, only for Boris to blot his copybook within hours by referring to Sirte in Libya as the next Dubai, adding “The only thing they’ve got to do is clear the dead bodies away and then we’ll be there.” The man is a liar, an oaf and a liability. But who else is there in the oasis of mediocrity and incompetence that is today’s Tory Government? If Mrs Maybe looks like the best option, you know that we are all doomed. Maybe that “o” dropping out of country would have been appropriate after all……

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Let us begin our perusal of the week’s preposterous clothing, starting with last week’s effort by a Dior-clad Melania Trump in Toronto, hobnobbing with Prince Harry at the Invictus Games.

Dior has achieved the impossible and made Melania look chubby. Which she is not. So was this a diplomatic attempt to curry favour with HRH by donning the deer-stalking clobber so beloved by his father and brother? All she needed was the matching cap.

Here we are in New York and actress Zosia Mamet at the launch of the Leopard, Leopard Pop-Up Shop.

Zosia has turned The Jungle Book into a one-woman show. And it is bad.

To Paris Fashion Week and celebrity son  Jaden Smith wearing Louis Vuitton.

He looks like a logo’ed knob. That is all there is to say about Jaden. Except “just go away”. 

Still in Paris, we have model  Karlie Kloss wearing an Adam Selman suit and Robert Clergerie boots.

Karlie is a leggy grasshopper in pyjamas. It may be the angle but she seems to have the knobbliest knees in the history of patellae. And why show off your bra when there is so little in it to show?

Next we have supermodel-as-was Claudia Schiffer, wearing Acquazurra.

This foul concoction is what you get when you throw an Austrian blind, a bathmat and a fishing net into a washing machine with a needle and thread. Claudia designed the boots. As Readers will know, WTF hates a peep-toe boot almost above all things. Especially these ones…

During the week, WTF aficionado Pete Clark, alias @creativeblock_, waxed wroth about Chanel’s new collection and in particular, their plastic boots seen on the runway as modelled by 16-year-old  Kaia Gerber.

That stomach is not so much flat as concave, the outfit is a nonsense and the makeup is tragic. But the boots! What the fuck are those boots? They are like the plastic sheaths you are given in department stores and museums to wrap your sodden brolly and avoid dripping everywhere. However, the image that struck WTF was that of Mark Addy in The Full Monty sitting in his shed wrapped in cling film in an effort to lose weight.

Still in Paris, this is Swedish fashion blogger BryanBoy, wearing Louis Vuitton at Miu Miu’s show.

More ridiculous boots. Those boots are amongst the silliest boots ever in the history of ever. If a member of Hitler Youth went to a fancy dress party dressed as a bumble bee, this is what he would look like.

Finally, this is Little Mix singer Leigh-Anne Pinnock at her birthday party in London, wearing something foul of her own design. 

Leigh-Anne Pillock more like. You are wearing no knickers and a bra-and-skirt combo held together with garden twine. You are also wearing a giant yellow thing on top, like the macs in Singin’ In The Rain. Don’t give up your day job, love. Really.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Nicola from Fulham who is exercised about emails with ‘donotreply’ addresses. Nicola asks “how frustrating are they?  They are the snottiest things to receive, frequently hectoring but giving me no chance to respond”. Nicola reports that the other day she received a chastising email from her gym accusing her of not having attended a class she had booked (although, in fact, she had been here). However, she could not reply and by the time she returns to the gym, if ever she does, the moment will have passed. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF values them like anything.  And don’t forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

 

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Jeremy Corbyn, Paris Fashion Week, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments