WTF Crisis Special

I Hallo Readers,

Last week WTF lamented the fact that nothing works in this country. Including the Prime Minister. Boris Johnson is back from his holiday this week but you would not know it. For a man who is usually gagging for a photo opportunity, he has been about as visible as Osama Bin Laden. No pics of him in hard hat and high vis jacket pretending to be Bob the Builder. No sign of him lurking in hospital wards, peering at terrified patients who cannot work out if they have died and woken up in the 7th circle of hell. Whatever it is that he is doing, it does not appear to be for the public good. Which is why, in a surprise to absolutely nobody, Downing St announced that this PM has no intention of intervening in the energy crisis, preferring to leave it to his appointed successor to take up the fight in September. His workload does not, it seems, extend to assisting or assuaging terrified citizens who have absolutely no idea how they will pay the gas bill, the electricity bill and the water bill, all of which are heading sky high. Pensioners who foresee the very real possibility of freezing to death in their own homes. Families who will have to make the choice between heating or eating. People with serious health conditions which require them to run machines which help save their lives. People on chemotherapy who overheat during the process but cannot afford to put on a fan afterwards. Army veterans, injured when fighting for their country, let down by the National Health Service in their treatment and now unable to keep themselves warm or cook themselves a meal. None of this matters to Johnson. Nor, apparently, does it matter much to the-robot-whose-batteries -are-running-down and Prime Minister in waiting, Liz Truss, to whom the idea of a profits tax is anathema. For Truss, the only thing that matters is cutting taxes so that those people who already have plenty of money to pay their bills will have even more. She also has a wizard wheeze to cut National Insurance for people who do not earn enough to pay it anyway. This is what we have to look forward  as 2022 draws to an end.

And this, Readers, is what a dozen years of Tory government has brought us. A messianic obsession with profits over people. A commitment to enriching their friends and paymasters rather than the community they were elected to serve. A failure to understand how ordinary people struggle on a daily basis. A gaping void where you would usually expect to see compassion. It just makes you feel so utterly ashamed. This is the 21st century’s version of Thatcher’s poll tax and it needs to be met with the same fury in the streets. Because if our government is indifferent to the fate of its citizens, then its citizens will have to take matters into their own hands. And that includes voting out this shower at the very earliest opportunity.

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We start our review of the week’s comical clothing with singer Katy Perry wearing a Cult Gaia dress and shoes from her own new line.

The shoes are horrible, as if she were standing on two pieces of red cardboard. Don’t give up your day job, love. Meanwhile, the sleeves on the dress are like a couple of deflated balloons.

Next, we have singer Kesha (formerly known as Ke$ha), wearing Fanci Club and what seems to be a dressing gown.

WTF was in great indignation when she saw Kesha in what appears to be a dressing gown. Then Kesha took it off and WTF hugely lamented the dressing gown, as what she saw instead was a pair of patterned tights masquerading as a dress with nothing but a tiny thong underneath, showcasing bare arse-cheeks and a globular pair of tits like a couple of melons in the moonlight. Careful now…. Nipples ahoy!

To LA where we find actor, singer and comedian Donald Glover at the launch of Beyonce’s new record, Renaissance.

Is it black knickers week? First Kesha, and then Donald. The party theme was retro. In Donald’s case this appears to mean the era of Edwardian wrestlers, namely a spangly leotard worn with preposterous boots.

And our hostess with the mostest, Beyoncé, with husband Jay-Z.

Oh please. Why does she never wear proper clothes? She is like a Michael Jackson tribute act with added tits and dangly bits.

To London, where we encounter Love Island so-called “star,” Antigoni Buxton en route to the show’s wrap party wearing (!!!!!!) Pretty Little Thing.

It is a shame that Antigoni did not wrap up rather more instead of running around coram publico in a tit-and-belly-button-baring leotard and matching “skirt”,  making her torso look like a squished face peering out of a wimple.

And finally, singer-songwriter Jesse Jo Stark and her boyfriend, singer Yungblud.

Jesse is giving us an imminent Minge Moment. As for her beau, if the Joker went to a fancy dress party as Ronald McDonald, this is what he would look like.

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington and follows on from aficionado Gita’s submission last week.  It is people walking around London wearing less than they would wear on the beach. Look it’s hot. We get it. But bare-chested men in Barnet?  No.  A bra top made from a manky scarf in Stoke Newington? NO!!!! WTF was happily consuming a schnitzel in Stoke Newington Church Street last night when she was horrified by the sight of a giant pair of knockers bouncing away as its owner sashayed along with her partner. It put WTF right off her dinner, and rightly so. Put them away, people!!!! Have compassion for your fellow citizens. It’s Got to Go

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

 

 

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WTF Holiday Special

Hallo Readers,

So the good news is, as Cecily recorded in her diary in The Importance of Being Earnest, that the weather continues charming. The bad news is that we are hurtling towards a recession. Interest rates are the highest they have been for years. Meanwhile, following the four-fold quarterly profits made by British Gas last week, the oil companies cleaned up this week with massively increased profits amounting to billions. People are receiving new standing orders for their heating bills which are beyond ludicrous and certainly beyond affordability. And where is the Prime Minister? On holiday. Where is the Chancellor of the Exchequer? Oh holiday. God forbid these people could do their bloody job. It takes us back to last summer when Britain abandoned Afghanistan and desperate people besieged the airport, including British citizens and those promised sanctuary by Britain. And where was the Foreign Secretary? On holiday. And where was the Permanent Secretary at the Foreign Office? On holiday. Holiday is a very big thing with these people. Far bigger than attending to the needs of the citizens they claim to to represent. Considering that both Boris Johnson and Nadim Zahawi will have plenty of time on their hands in a month, one would have thought that they could have postponed the bucket and spade activities, but no.  They couldn’t.

In their absence, the next Prime Minister, Liz Truss or Rishi Sunak, is running around the country talking rubbish. Both of them continue to invent policy on the hoof in an ever desperate bid to win the hearts and minds of 150,000 tossers who have paid their subs to the Tory party. Sunak’s big idea was to punish people who do not big up Britain, whatever the hell that means. Truss’s big idea, announced one night, was to cut the pay of civil servants in the regions in order to mirror market forces. Needless to say, this idea went down like a cup of cold sick with the civil servants concerned, and was roundly mocked by one and all. By the morning, the plan was deader than a deceased dodo with advanced rigor mortis. The reason for abandoning it, according to Truss, was that it had been misrepresented by the press. WTF, somewhat naively, cannot see why a plan that had been misrepresented had to be abandoned rather than representing it properly, but then reality has long since abandoned this particular contest. As the Book of Jonah recounts, ‘And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his evil. So Jonah was exceeding glad because of the gourd… But God prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd, that it withered”. `That is policy, Truss-style. Say something stupid. Then backtrack hours later and blame somebody else. Sounds familiar? Honestly, you will hardly notice that Boris Johnson has gone…

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We start our review of the week’s clothing calamities with actor Brad Pitt  at the LA premiere of Bullet Train wearing Haans Nicholas Mott, designed just for him.

Haans was also responsible for the horrible linen skirt suit Brad wore for the premiere in Berlin. That one prompted WTF aficionado Quixote to ask “They made Brad Pitt look ugly? Brad Pitt? How do you even DO that?”  Brad is not ugly but why is he in a Kermit-the-frog coloured, badly-cut jacket and matching baby-rompers with a crumpled shirt and very silly trainers? This Haans is a menace. Fact.

And another of the movie’s stars, actor Zazie Beetz, wearing Acne Studios.

WTF is all for recycling but Acne has just stitched together manky denim offcuts and called it a dress. Worse, it seems to have an attached sack over her shoulder like one of the Seven Dwarves. 

Influencer Tana Mongeau was also at the premiere, wearing not enough. 

Tana has five million Instagram followers….. five million people whom she wants to influence to have their tits hanging out of a gaping tit cavern and their arses hanging out of a Minge-Moment skirt. Yurgle.

To the London premiere of Nope and one of its stars, actor Keke Palmer, wearing Valentino.

The good news. It is Valentino but it is not that dreary  shocking pink. The bad news. Some poor bird has died in vain to give her a minge muff.

Still in London, here is actor Gwendoline Christie wearing Rick Owens at another premiere, this time The Sandman.

Er…if Brienne of Tarth went to a party with a sequinned shield,  a pair of jeans and a new hairdo, this is what she would look like.

Someone else at the premiere was celebritee Tallia Storm wearing Fashion Nova (yours for only £33, reduced from £37).

Good grief. She seems to have a basset hound asleep on her person.

Next up, here is hip hop artiste Jatavia Shakara Johnson wearing an old sofa.

Have you seen those nails??? How do get ANYTHING done? How do you do up the zip on those horrendous trousers or on those foul tabi boots?

And finally, we have comedian Eddie Izzard wearing Zara.

This is not a trans thing, this is an eyeballs thing. Eddie looks like a sack of shit in this dress, which does not flatter her burgeoning midriff, not even at all. Worse, that hair adds to the impression that Eddie is moonlighting as a Nadine Dorries tribute act.

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh who has brought this item to public attention. Yikes!

 There are no words. WTF has just gone veggie, It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

 

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WTF Going Nowhere Special

Hallo Readers,

Have you noticed how absolutely nothing works in this country anymore? It is so embarrassing. It is either too hot, or too cold, or the wrong sort of rain, or the wrong sort of snow, or the wrong sort of wind. But the result is always the same, namely things grind to a halt. Last week, in a heatwave of 39 degrees, the tarmac melted at Luton airport. Do you hear about the tarmac melting in O’Hare Airport in Chicago? Or Changi Airport in Singapore? Of course you don’t. But this is Britain 2022. Take the airports. What used to be a hop, skip and a jump to some European idyll is now a marathon akin to something undertaken by Phineas Fogg.  You queue to check in your luggage, at which point you may have to bid it farewell for a prolonged period, perhaps forever. You queue to get through security, where you will find that eight scanning machines out of twelve are not operating. That is, of course, if your flight has not been cancelled between your locking the front door and climbing into an early morning taxi and arriving to join crowds of putative holiday makers in scenes resembling the evacuation of Paris in 1940. Then there are the ferries. It seems that those who voted for Brexit did not consider the old adage that ‘you have to be in it to win it’. As a result of the UK waving two fingers at our European friends, they are exacting their revenge by sending a limited number of gendarmes to go through your passport line by line at Dover or Folkestone, that is once you have survived a twelve-hour queue on the M20 or the M2, your kids screaming hysterically at the back and you and your partner screaming hysterically at the front, everyone in desperate need of a wee wee. By the time you set sail, it is nearly time to come home again. Or you might want to go by train. That is, if there are any. Even if the tracks have not melted like a fondue in the sizzling summer sunshine, the drivers, led by the splendid Mick Lynch, are often on strike, so you cannot let the train take the strain. You could stay in Blighty, where you will be royally ripped off by greedy Airbnb merchants and Basil Fawlty-type establishments in seaside resorts various, but in order to get there you will have to fill your car with petrol at two quid a litre and sit on the A 303 admiring Stonehenge for hours on end, your kids screaming hysterically at the back and you and your partner screaming hysterically at the front, everyone in desperate need of a wee wee.

Meanwhile there appears to be no Government to speak of, not even of any kind. You have not heard a word from the Prime Minister or the Chancellor, and the Foreign Secretary is busy running around the country imitating a Dalek on Mogadon, the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport is busy insulting the Foreign Secretary’s rival’s footwear and the Secretary of State for Transport is far too busy to intervene in the train strike, or the tube strike, because it is not apparently his job. No one can afford to put the oven on while the owner of British Gas has just declared a four-fold profit for the last quarter. But Readers, do not despair! There is good news. Boris Johnson and Carrie Antoinette are celebrating their belated wedding on Saturday in some leafy corner of the Cotswolds. It is so nice to see that our Prime Minister still has his priorities straight.

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial shite with Home Secretary (for now) Priti Patel at Glorious Goodwood races, wearing something frightful.

Patel’s politics are firmly rooted in the 1970s and it seems that her wardrobe is as well, like a cut-price Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, down to the brooch on the coat and pearls. Just shockingly shocking.

This is actor Gabrielle Union wearing Farai London.

She’s gorgeous, but this outfit is a dud, like a carrying harness for twins. It was also a recipe for tit slippage, which duly happened but WTF is sparing you the pic because life is traumatic enough…. 

Meanwhile, whoever that other lady is, she has forgotten her skirt and that is either a garter or a handbag, but it is unclear which.

To ComicCon in LA and comedian Alice Wetterlund wearing By Moumi.

This dress probably got a bigger laugh than any punchline Alice has ever delivered onstage. It is completely horrible, like a crinkled condom. And the back view is worse, with Alice flashing her bare bum-cheeks. Put them away, love, for Gawd’s sake.

To NYC and the opening night of the stage adaptation of the novel The Kite Runner where we find  OITNB actor Laverne Cox, wearing Mugler.

Oh Laverne! Why are you allowing Mugler to do this terrible thing to you? Or why are you doing this terrible thing to yourself? Have you not heard of the word ‘no’? You have taken braver decisions in your life than declining to turn up at a Broadway premiere dressed as the Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

We are now at the Los Angeles premiere of House of the Dragon, the prequel of Games of Thrones, and this is actor Emily Carey wearing Givenchy. Brace yourselves.

If a polar bear auditioned for the Julia Roberts role in an ursine remake of Pretty Woman,  this is what it would look like. And what’s with the bloomers?

Still in Los Angeles, we are now at the ESPYs, the Sports Awards, where we encounter American football quarterback Russell Wilson, who is wearing Dolce & Gabbana, and his wife, singer Chiara who is wearing Sabina Bilenko Couture.

Something has gone seriously awry with Russell’s trousers, which are concertina-ering around his thighs, although the jacket is excellent. As for his wife, she has apparently taken a couple of nursing pads and used them as tit coasters.Next up is another comedian, Quinta Brunson, wearing Prabal Gurung.

Why is she wearing a feather duster? She probably spent the night praying that no one crunched a canapé into the carpet or a member of the serving staff would have picked her up and put her to work sweeping up the crumbs.

And finally we have actor Alison Brie wearing Cavalli. 

There is too much strappage and the effect of the flowers meandering over her minge is like a floral vajazzle. No wonder the poor love looks so haunted….

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Gita from Bromley, aka @MsAlliance. Gita says ‘do you know what’s got to go? Wearing just a bra as a top in public.’

 She continues, ‘I have seen far too many of these this week. Goodness knows, I’m open-minded but just NO.. ‘ She is, as ever, right on the money. These two ladies above were ejected from a Wetherspoons pub for wearing unsuitable tops as tops. There is a difference between the beach and the boozer, the swimming pool and the street. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

Posted in Boris Johnson, Carrie Symonds, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, ESPYs, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Louse and Flea Special

Hallo Readers,

Six more weeks of this. Six more weeks of two people you can’t stand vying with each other to replace someone else you can’t stand, with the winner being decided by 200,000 people you can’t stand and whose only qualification to make the decision is that they are members of the Governing party. The British public as a whole has no say in this farce and therefore will have one of these two numpties foisted upon them as the new Prime Minister for the next two and a half years. And if that is not enough to make you contemplate setting about yourself with a kitchen knife, WTF does not know what is.

The choice to be made by the Tory faithful brings to mind the often quoted words of Dr Johnson when he remarked ‘Sir, there is no settling the point of precedence between a louse and a flea’. As it happens, both the louse and the flea look pretty good when compared to Liz Truss, a woman who makes Theresa May look like Joan Rivers, and Rishi Sunak, aka Rish!, whose interviews exude the enthusiasm of the head prefect of a swanky public school giving the speech on Founder’s Day. The fact that both of them stuck to Boris Johnson like shit to a blanket for the past three years, supporting him in public and sitting in his Cabinet, troubles them not at all, even though Sunak at least bolted for the exit days before the curtain came down on the Johnson premiership. Truss is now claiming that she was in violent disagreement with Sunak’s economic policies but was forced to abide by collective Cabinet responsibility; she intends to cut taxes like a deranged axe-person to the tune of £30 billion, at which Sunak cannot contain his contempt and incredulity and the rest of us roll our eyes and wish we lived elsewhere.

WTF is no fan of Sunak, but he does at least have the advantage of sounding as if he knows what he is talking about. Truss, on the other hand, gives the impression that she is reading off an autocue but has forgotten her glasses. And her brain. If she does have a belief in anything, other than her determination to be Prime Minister, it has yet to become apparent as she swings from Remainer to Brexiteer, from putting up taxes to cutting taxes, from Lib Dem to Tory, from Shirley Williams to Margaret Thatcher. She also appears to have delusions of grandeur, the lovechild of the Iron Lady and Donald Trump. Listen to Truss and her achievements are indeed remarkable. She has apparently done massive trade deals. She has saved Ukraine. She is probably going to save the planet from climate change and find a cure for cancer. But actually, her achievements are unremarkable save for her progress up the slippery slope of politics, discarding any policies which proved to be unpopular or inconvenient. She sounds awful. She looks awful. She is awful. And Heaven help us, by virtue of pandering to the right wing and being a white woman rather than an incredibly rich brown man, she will probably be moving into number 10 Downing St on 5 September. Kill me now…..

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We start our review of the week’s clothing calamities in New York with the wonderful Julia Garner from Ozark, wearing Prada on her way to be interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel.

The colour does absolutely nothing for her and the belt appears to have attached itself to her person at random. The main complaint, however, is that this is another example of the nasty new phenomenon of tit bags, which we saw recently on Ashley Roberts. Frankly, WTF finds them deeply disturbing.  That is all there is to be said about tit bags. Next!

Next is singer Gwen Stefani wearing a Cult Gaia top and Dion Lee cargo pants.

The cargo pants are fine, but they seem to be worn over high-rise fishnet panties, like chaps like to show off their Calvin Klein boxer shorts over the waist of their jeans. As for the top, not only does it look as if Gwen has had a double-nipplectomy, but the design is reminiscent of a dog’s rear end.

Here is ghastly ex-Presidential daughter-in-law Lara Trump, the one married to the gormless Eric, at her mother-in-law’s funeral in New York City.

Look, New York is hot at present. And sweaty. WTF gets that, she really does. But even if you can excuse wearing a sleeveless dress to your mother-in-law’s funeral (the late Ivana Trump), put the cleavage away, love, for Gawd’s sake.  And the back is even worse…..

That slit goes all the way up to her bum! You do not flash your arse at your mother-in-law’s funeral, even if your mother-in-law is Ivana Trump. No class. None at all.

And now we have actor Karreuche Tran wearing Didu at the London premiere of NOPE.

NOPE is le mot juste. What on earth is this? WTF does not like tit pockets any more than she likes tit bags and the bits and pieces of fabric various, like J-Cloths, make Karreuche look like a patchwork doll with no feet.

Welcome back to model Naomi Campbell receiving an honorary Ph.D. from the Chancellor of UCA, Professor Bashir Makhoul. Naomi is wearing Burberry. 

Ph.D in what? Phone-throwing? Anyway, those are the most preposterous pair of trousers WTF ever did see in her life. Yurgle. Burberry seems to have been inspired by a building in Suzhou, China, called Gate of the Orient but known locally as the Pair of Trousers, (or Pair of Pants, if you are American).  

This is Victoria Secrets’ model Joy Corrigan wearing who knows what at the Poster Girl Swim Show in South Beach, Miami.

IMMINENT MINGE MOMENT!!!! IMMINENT ARSE MOMENT!!!! And, for that matter, IMMINENT TIT MOMENT!!!!

To the Paris premiere of Bullet Train with actor Joey King wearing Thom Browne.

What that label on the skirt says, Heaven knows. Perhaps it reads “Do not wear this in public or you will look like an idiot”.

And the caravanserai for Bullet Train moved on to Berlin, where we find actor Brad Pitt looking awful.

What on earth is happening here? Does Brad’s hotel not have an iron? Or better still, a minion to do the ironing? Brad claimed that he was wearing a skirt as it was airier. In which case, why is he wearing what looks like tweed and heavy hobnail boots? In short, why is he dressed as Hyacinth Bouquet from Keeping Up Appearances?

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Katie from Highgate, who sent in a pic of these leggings.  They are by Schein, or Shite as WTF prefers to call them.

Katie is not impressed. She says she came across this and “it just screamed It’s Got To Go. Leggings without the legs and a terrible Minge Moment”. She is right. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Climate Change, Donald Trump, Eric Trump, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Liz Truss, Politics, Rishi Sunak, Ukraine, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

WTF Penny Dreadful Special

Hallo Readers,

Joni Mitchell once sang ‘don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone’. You have to say that she was right on the nail. Although Boris Johnson has not actually gone, he is going. And despicable and mendacious as he is, he is starting to look like Gladstone and Disraeli combined when you consider the shower of shit lined up to replace him. As an up yours to his Party, his Government and his Cabinet  who wanted him out, it is sweet revenge because the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom will redefine the word ghastly.

There have already had two rounds of voting by Tory MPs which has left them with the following choices: Rishi Sunak, the overgrown school prefect in overpriced sneakers who was Chancellor until last week; Liz Truss, still Foreign Secretary, and dimmer than a dead light bulb; Kemi Badenoch, the Anti-Woke-Warrior of whom no one had heard until a few days ago, a state of blissful ignorance to which we hope fervently to return; Penny Mordaunt, a cut price Margaret Thatcher without the brain who is also a barefaced liar; and Tom Tugendhat, who was a Lieutenant-Colonel in the Territorial Army but who has never held Government office. Grant Shapps and Savid Javid failed to get enough votes even to get on the ballot and Jeremy Hunt and Nadim Zahawi bit the dust in Round One. Thursday was made more bearable by the elimination of Suella Braverman, the Attorney-General who is so anti -European that if she bit you, you would immediately need to undergo a double dose of rabies treatment. Had she ever made it to number 10 Downing St, WTF would have emigrated to Outer Mongolia.

The remaining runners and riders are now vying with each other to be the one to cut taxes the most, ship the maximum number of people off to Rwanda on a one way ticket, slap political correctness in the face and pretend they had never been anywhere in the proximity of Boris Johnson. Never mind that two of them sat in his Cabinet defending his every transgression and two of them were junior ministers in his Government. Listen to them and you would think that they had been on the Opposition Benches since 2010. Only Tugendhat has the twin advantages of never having been in government and having been openly critical of Johnson. But it does not change the fact that he shares many of the views of his rivals and, like the others save for Sunak, is busy promising tax cuts galore with no indication of how they will be paid for.

Mordaunt might be the favourite but she is more ghastly than the rest of them. In the 19th Century, a penny dreadful was cheap serialised popular literature, usually a murder mystery. In the 21st Century, Penny Dreadful is pitching herself as the love child of Boudica and Lord Nelson with a side order of Pinocchio. During the Brexit Referendum, Penny Dreadful not only posed proudly by the side of the infamous bus promising £350m a week for the NHS but repeatedly asserted that the UK would be overrun by zillions of Turks who were about to join the EU which Britain could not veto. This is what is known as a barefaced lie but she is still unrepentant and has refused to retract what she then said. She has not only done a volte face on trans people, but she now claims she never supported self-identification. This is another lie. We would therefore be swapping one liar and fantasist for another; and worse still, her campaign is being run by the appalling Andrea Loathsome, whose own run for Leader crumbled when she misspoke about Theresa May being childless and when it emerged that her CV would put Fancy McFanciful to shame.  Since it was lies and fantasies that did for Boris Johnson, one can only ask what on earth is the point of all this nonsense? Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…..

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We start our review of the week’s comedy clothing with dancer and singer Julianne Hough out and about wearing who even knows what this is.

As you know, Readers, WTF hates a one-armed garment on a two-armed person almost above all things. And when she first saw this, she thought Julianne was wearing a truss. (Not Liz Truss – the medical support device.)  Did someone die before they’d finished knitting this? Or did they just give up in disgust? She looks like a half-shorn sheep.

And now to Rome for Haute Couture Week, kicking off with more shocking pink from Valentino, this time on Oscar-winning actors Anne Hathaway and Ariana DeBose.

They resemble a couple of peonies blooming happily in warm sunshine, but they have both forgotten their skirts. WTF’s chief indignation, however, is at the horrific horses’ hooves on their feet. How ugly are those shoes? And how do you walk in them?

Meet actor and singer-songwriter Nat Wolff , also wearing Valentino.

It isn’t shocking  pink, for which much thanks. But it isn’t clothes either. It’s a pyjama top. End of. These ones from Gant are a lot cheaper…..

Here is actor Emma Watson wearing Schiaparelli.

Not to be critical – Heaven forfend! -but what the actual fuck is going on here? That is one of the most ludicrous jackets that WTF ever did see in her life and she has seen a few. The humungous shoulders in contrast with the gamine Emma’s little leggies, combined with the generally nautical air, would make you think this is Popeye’s nemesis Bluto. Ahoy there!

She’s back! It’s Rita Ora, also wearing Schiaparelli.

Ouch! The men in white coats are on standby to intervene with Schiaparelli’s head designer, Texan-born Daniel Rosebery, who appears to have gone stark staring mad. Rita’s trousers don’t fit but the main culprit is the bralet, which seems to be doing horrible things to her tits like a bejewelled cheese slicer.

Next up is fashionista and blogger Chiara Ferragni wearing Jean Paul Gaultier.

Speaking of stark staring mad…..?  You can see her gusset! Here is a WTF rule. Gussets should never be on view. If a corsetière went to a fancy dress party as a character from One Flew over the Cookoo’s Nest, this is what she would look like.

Finally, welcome back Zara Phillips, daughter of Princess Anne and 21st in line to the Throne. She is at her half-sister’s wedding wearing a foul dress by Zimmerman with Valentino pumps and a stupid hat.

English women really do not know to dress for weddings, do they? Why has she got a pair of rabbit’s ears on her head? As for the alleged dress, is she trying to upstage the bride? This is too short but it is also just a really nasty garment, buttoned to the neck like Queen Victoria and very tight around the titties. Worst of all, it looks cheap although it costs £2,082.  That’s a lot to pay to look like Jade from Casualty.

Talking of Royalty, this week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF (well, it is my blog) who, like a large part of the Nation, was very concerned to see little Prince George in a suit and tie at the Wimbledon Men’s Final last Sunday.

What nonsense is this? It was 3o+ degrees and the poor thing was forced to swelter in formal attire. He is eight years old,  for Heaven’s sake. Sod the rules. Women in the Royal Box do not have to wear a suit and tie, or even long sleeves, so why should men? And why should kids have to abide by the rules for adults? Let him wear a shirt and chinos like every other kid. It is a blessing he did not get heat stroke. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending your splendid comments as well as your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

 

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Carrie Symonds, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, Dominic Cummings, European Court of Human Rights, Fashion Disasters, Jeremy Hunt, Liz Truss, Nadine Dorries, Penny Mordaunt, Politics, Priti Patel, racism, Suella Braverman, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF The Fans Hit the Shit Special

Hallo Readers,

You may have noticed that the Prime Minister is going to resign once the Tory party elects his successor. Given that its efforts in recent years have given us Theresa May and Boris Johnson, it may be time for the party to start considering some other way of making its selection, like an unlucky dip or perhaps public auditions where contestants warble a song in front of a panel of judges chaired by hairy chested, high-waisted trouser-wearing Simon Cowell with the public ringing in to vote at premium rate. There may be so many hopefuls in the contest to be the next Prime Minister that this may all take some time, so the man who had 51 of his ministers, advisors and nochschleppers heading for the exit has formed a new government and is staying on – for now. One of the perks of the delay is that he still gets the trappings of power, including the limo, the plane and Chequers, the Prime Ministerial country retreat where he and Carrie Antoinette were planning to throw the large wedding party they were unable to hold when they married because of Covid, doubtless to be funded by some hapless Tory donor. Indeed it is thought that keeping hold of the venue might have prompted his failure to resign earlier, despite the increasingly frenzied supplications of his cabinet, his party and the vast majority of  the British public. Apparently the wedding celebrations will now be held elsewhere, although who exactly would want to come now? Probably not even the bride.

Having had his fingernails finally prised from the Cabinet table,  Johnson appeared at a podium in Downing St and announced that he would stand down. This was the fault of those people too stupid to see what a bad idea it would be for him to go. Those of us waiting with bated breath for an apology found it necessary to breathe out after realising that there was more chance of finding rocking-horse shit  in little Wilf’s nursery than hearing this fatuous, arrogant, reckless man acknowledge that he might have had some responsibility for his downfall. When James 11 was forced to flee from England in 1688, he took refuge in the French Court where courtiers would say of him ‘when you listen to him, you know why he is here‘. When you listened to Johnson on that sunny Thursday lunchtime, you knew why he would no longer be there.

We will of course consider the motley crew who seek to be the next PM in the weeks to come. Some of them are so ghastly that you would almost prefer to keep the present incumbent. In the meantime, WTF has been in great indignation at the news that Michelle Donnellan, the woman who was Education Secretary for about 24 hours before resigning from the Cabinet she had only just joined, is eligible for a severance payment of nearly £17,000 pounds, the cost being met by long-suffering Tom and Tilly Tosser the taxpayers. Ms Donellen now says that she will donate her salary to charity. Frankly, what with schools being underfunded and all that, WTF would much rather Ms Donnellan returned to the obscurity to which she so clearly  belongs and makes her own charitable contributions.

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We start our review of the week’s abysmal attire with our old friend, racing champ Sir Lewis Hamilton, wandering around Silverstone looking like a right prat.

The time is approaching when Lewis will have to start staying indoors  unless he can give a solemn undertaking to stop looking like a div. Not only is he wearing a patchwork quilt as a jacket, the sort of thing you see hanging up in Ye Olde Tea Shoppe in the Lake District, but those jogger thingies are a veritable health hazard, sprouting golden cheese wire. Walking in those is one hell of a lot more dangerous than hurtling round the track at 600 miles an hour.

Next up, we have former singer, now presenter, Ashley Roberts doing the daily fashion show walk outside Heart Radio wearing a summery dress with the most remarkable tit activity.

What is going on with those tits? They look like cheeses hanging up in floral muslin. Borrow the wire from Sir Lewis.

The rest of our fashion comes from the BET Awards in LA, starting with rapper Saucy Santana wearing a most remarkable ensemble. Scroll down slowly for the full effect.

Not only is there an absence of anything under the jacket covering the nether regions, but those boots!!!! What the fuck are those boots? Has Saucy been raiding the Sesame Street puppet box?

It has been a while since we saw Black Chyna and frankly on this evidence that is a good thing. Readers may recall that she went out with musician Tyga, who then went out with Kylie Jenner, at which point Blac started an affair with Kylie’s half-brother Rob Kardashian (are you still with me?). That broke up,  then they got back together and then they broke up again, whereupon he put explicit pictures of her on the internet and she had to get an injunction. What busy lives these people lead….

Anyway, probably fed up with the whole Kardashian Klan, Blac has come out fighting with the most fearsomely spiked tits, like something out of Game of Thrones. Kardashians various! Do not mess with this woman….

Now another of our regulars, singer and actor Billy Porter, wearing Rick Owens.

Alll of it is ugly, particularly the boots, the colour and the ridiculous shoulders, and sadly Billy looks like a ghoul who has left the hanger in the outfit.


Finally from the BET Awards we meet a newcomer, singer Summer Walker wearing, if that is the word, which it manifestly is not, something inspired by ‘traditional Hmong jewelry’. Isn’t jewellery supposed to be worn WITH clothes as opposed to INSTEAD of clothes?

Frankly she looks more like a Hoochy Coochy dancer….

AND NOW THE WINNER OF THE WTF SUMMER STINKER 2022!!!!  Actor Tommy Dorfman won with a healthy lead over rapper Burna Boy and comedian Meg Stalter. A worthy winner. 

This week’s It’s Got toGo comes from WTF aficionado David from the Barbican  who sent in a picture of these Doily Pants by designer Per Gotesson. Not only are they extremely revolting but they cost £120. Ready? You won’t be….

Someone seems to have had a nasty accident on the way to the loo. Madness. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

Posted in BET Awards, Boris Johnson, Carrie Symonds, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Michelle Donnellan, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2022 – again!!

Hallo Readers,

There would normally be a new blog today but those of you without Twitter (look, we’ve had this discussion before – it is @WTF_EEK) may not have been told that the blog has been unavoidably delayed until tomorrow. Which, given the political shenanigans at present, is probably just as well as it may have all changed again by breakfast tomorrow when the new sparkling blog will be ready for your delectation.  Meanwhile, for those of you who did not vote in the Summer Stinker last week, there is still time and it is repeated below. Or you can vote again!!!! As often as you like, really. See you tomorrow!!!!

Here are the runners and riders for the coveted WTF Summer Stinker 2022.

It’s here! The coveted title of the WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2022 is up for grabs with you, Readers, voting for the winner and, if you like, adding unpleasant comments to go with your votes. There are 18 appalling fashion disasters for you to choose from. Just scroll down and vote for as of them you like all (at the same time– none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here). And you can vote as often as like by placing your mark against the person or persons named in the polling form at the bottom of there blog. Off you go! 

  1. Adriana Lima, model.

Nothing wrong with being pregnant. The days when women used to either stay at home or go out wearing a small tent are long gone. But some people have gone too far the other way, including baring your bump, groin and arse like an extra in Ali Baba’s NCT Adventures.

2. Bad Bunnyrapper.

Bad Bunny went to the Met Gala dressed as a Victorian schoolmarm and looked like a total prat. 

3. Burna Boy, rapper.

There were possibly the most disturbing trousers in living memory. A monster was gnawing his crotch and that zip was a recipe for disaster.

4. Christine Quinn, Celebrity Real Estate salesperson Selling Sunset.

Christine paraded around Hollywood dressed as a pile of poo. Which is unusual, even for Los Angeles. Extra minus points for the ridiculous tights-over-shoes thing that WTF hates almost above all things.

5. Dan Stevens, actor.

Carson the butler would have been appalled at the sight of Mr Crawley, heir presumptive to Downton Abbey, wandering about in an ill-fitting technicolour-yawn coat and trewsies with clown shoes like slabs of seaside rock.

6. Dove Cameron, actor.

Not only was the dress really horrible with flying red pubes but  the tape made her look as if she had been marked up ready for liposuction.

7. Draya Michele, model.

Do not adjust your eyeballs. You really are looking at a human hologram with giant nipples.

8. Halsey, singer.

It is hard to determine what was more offensive – the Cleopatra serpent curled around her torso, the exposed groin or the split-front trousers pooling behind her like an oil slick.

9. Jennifer Lopez, actor.

 This was the embodiment of everything WTF hates in  a “dress”.  A crotch curtain putting appalled onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment, exposed torso and giant Mickey Mouse ears for tit covers. It was tackier than a lorry-load of Blu Tak.

10. Julia Fox, actor.

Sigh. Julia was being strangled by her own neck brace, whatever was wrapped around her lady parts was not a skirt, the boots were Pretty Woman Goes Pervy and the eyebrows looked better on Mr Spock.

11. Kim Kardashian, celebritee.

The good news is that Kim was covered up. The bad news is that she was covered up in the Police – Do Not Cross tape they erect at criminal incidents. Plus everything emphasised her unfeasibly large arse and made her look as if she had stuffed a couple of footballs down her leggings. 

12. Maggie Lindemann, singer.

 It’s just horrible, like Wilma Flintstone going to a funeral and then on to a rave.

13. Meg Stalter, comedian.

It may have been vintage (Jean Paul Gaultier) but just because it was old doesn’t mean it wasn’t shit.  If there was a more unflattering outfit this year, WTF is glad that she missed it.

14. Nicole Kidman, actor.

It is not just that Nicole, a mother of teen-aged girls, was dressed as one, but that this was an actual outfit meant to be worn outdoors (it’s Prada). It is good job Jeffrey Epstein is no longer with us or he would have been beating a path to Nicole’s door. Whoops, don’t do it again….

15. Rickey Thompson, actor and influencer.

This is not so much what side do you dress, sir, but how do you fit it all in? And as WTF remarked at the time, his chest seemed to be decorated by Claire’s Accessories.

16. Steve McQueen, director.

It was all going so well until you got to the ankles…..

17. Tom Daley, swimmer.

Tragic. And then some….

18. Tommy Dorfman, actor (she/her).

Like an incontinence sheet with stomach railings and a tit window.

OK READERS – GET VOTING. The results will be announced next week.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2022

Hallo Readers,

It’s here! The coveted title of the WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2022 is up for grabs with you, Readers, voting for the winner and, if you like, adding unpleasant comments to go with your votes. We will come back to that after the rant.

You do have to worry about what is going on in the Tory party. There’s more dodginess going on than back to back episodes of Peaky Blinders. Last night, Chris Pincher MP (oh the irony), the deputy chief whip, (oh the irony), resigned his post, although not his seat, after fessing up to groping two men when pissed as a fart at the Conservative Carlton club. And it appears that this is not Mr Pincher’s first brush with controversy. In 2017 he stepped down from his then position as junior whip after being accused of  making a pass at an Olympic male swimmer (a Tory committee later exonerated him). The fact that Mr Pincher was allowed back into the fold at the Whips Office, only to fall from grace, suggests that the MP for Tamworth is indeed a bit of a pig.

Last week as WTF reported hot off the press at the time, the Tories lost two seats in by-elections both necessitated by deep dodginess on the part of the former chaps who had occupied them. In Tiverton and Honiton, Guy Parish had to resign after female MPs complained that he had been watching porn on his phone in the House of Commons Chamber while in Wakefield, a die-hard Labour seat until 2019 when the so-called Red Wall collapsed, Imran Ahmad Khan packed it in after being convicted of sexually assaulting a 15 year old boy back in 2008. He was subsequently sentenced to 18 months in the slammer. Mr. Khan is seeking to appeal his conviction but that will not change the fact that Wakefield has gone back to being red while he is now wearing prison grey and sewing mailbags. And let us not forget Charlie Elphicke, MP for Dover, who is also residing at Her Majesty’s Pleasure after a conviction for sexual assault while his wife Natalie was elected to replace him. In 2021, the Commons Committee on Standards found that she and four other MPs tried or attempted to influence senior judges in November 2020 in her husband’s sentencing appeal. The committee recommended that Elphicke and two other MPs receive a one-day suspension from Parliament and she apologised.

And all this is before you get to the alleged carrying on of Boris Johnson when Foreign Secretary and married to long-suffering wife Marina. It is alleged that he was caught in a compromising position in the Foreign Office with his now-wife Carrie Antoinette, at around the time when he was seeking to find her paid employment from the public purse. It certainly gives a new meaning to the phrase “Chief of Staff“. Not to mention “Honourable Member”. Johnson is of course the first Prime Minister to be convicted of an offence while in office, not to mention his lying, his misleading the House of Commons and God knows what other iffyness; his Home Secretary, who was found to have bullied civil servants and to have misled the House of Commons and the rest of this ghastly Government. With this shower in charge is it any wonder that the country is grinding to a halt and sinking under its own weight of shame?

Back to the Summer Stinker. There are 18 appalling fashion disasters for you to choose from. Just scroll down and vote for as of them you like all (at the same time– none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here). And you can vote as often as like by placing your mark against the person or persons named in the polling form at the bottom of there blog. Off you go! 

  1. Adriana Lima, model.

Nothing wrong with being pregnant. The days when women used to either stay at home or go out wearing a small tent are long gone. But some people have gone too far the other way, including baring your bump, groin and arse like an extra in Ali Baba’s NCT Adventures.

2. Bad Bunnyrapper.

Bad Bunny went to the Met Gala dressed as a Victorian schoolmarm and looked like a total prat. 

3. Burna Boy, rapper.

There were possibly the most disturbing trousers in living memory. A monster was gnawing his crotch and that zip was a recipe for disaster.

4. Christine Quinn, Celebrity Real Estate salesperson Selling Sunset.

Christine paraded around Hollywood dressed as a pile of poo. Which is unusual, even for Los Angeles. Extra minus points for the ridiculous tights-over-shoes thing that WTF hates almost above all things.

5. Dan Stevens, actor.

Carson the butler would have been appalled at the sight of Mr Crawley, heir presumptive to Downton Abbey, wandering about in an ill-fitting technicolour-yawn coat and trewsies with clown shoes like slabs of seaside rock.

6. Dove Cameron, actor.

Not only was the dress really horrible with flying red pubes but  the tape made her look as if she had been marked up ready for liposuction.

7. Draya Michele, model.

Do not adjust your eyeballs. You really are looking at a human hologram with giant nipples.

8. Halsey, singer.

It is hard to determine what was more offensive – the Cleopatra serpent curled around her torso, the exposed groin or the split-front trousers pooling behind her like an oil slick.

9. Jennifer Lopez, actor.

 This was the embodiment of everything WTF hates in  a “dress”.  A crotch curtain putting appalled onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment, exposed torso and giant Mickey Mouse ears for tit covers. It was tackier than a lorry-load of Blu Tak.

10. Julia Fox, actor.

Sigh. Julia was being strangled by her own neck brace, whatever was wrapped around her lady parts was not a skirt, the boots were Pretty Woman Goes Pervy and the eyebrows looked better on Mr Spock.

11. Kim Kardashian, celebritee.

The good news is that Kim was covered up. The bad news is that she was covered up in the Police – Do Not Cross tape they erect at criminal incidents. Plus everything emphasised her unfeasibly large arse and made her look as if she had stuffed a couple of footballs down her leggings. 

12. Maggie Lindemann, singer.

 It’s just horrible, like Wilma Flintstone going to a funeral and then on to a rave.

13. Meg Stalter, comedian.

It may have been vintage (Jean Paul Gaultier) but just because it was old doesn’t mean it wasn’t shit.  If there was a more unflattering outfit this year, WTF is glad that she missed it.

14. Nicole Kidman, actor.

It is not just that Nicole, a mother of teen-aged girls, was dressed as one, but that this was an actual outfit meant to be worn outdoors (it’s Prada). It is good job Jeffrey Epstein is no longer with us or he would have been beating a path to Nicole’s door. Whoops, don’t do it again….

15. Rickey Thompson, actor and influencer.

This is not so much what side do you dress, sir, but how do you fit it all in? And as WTF remarked at the time, his chest seemed to be decorated by Claire’s Accessories.

16. Steve McQueen, director.

It was all going so well until you got to the ankles…..

17. Tom Daley, swimmer.

Tragic. And then some….

18. Tommy Dorfman, actor (she/her).

Like an incontinence sheet with stomach railings and a tit window.

OK READERS – GET VOTING. The results will be announced next week.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Brexit Anniversary Special

Hallo Readers,

Big News! Boris Johnson finally managed to deport somebody to Rwanda – himself. Sadly, unlike the unfortunates who might find themselves flying there courtesy of the UK taxpayer, he has a return ticket for himself and his fragrant wife Carrie Antoinette. Perhaps after two crushing defeats last night, losing Wakefield and Honiton (Honiton has been Tory since forever) by, as Trump would say, ” a lot”, and the immediate resignation of his Party Chairman Oliver Dowden, the Johnsons will stay in Rwanda, the country whose virtues the Tories have been extolling. 

Johnson is there for a Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting. WTF  did not know that Rwanda (and Mozambique) were in the Commonwealth, not being former British colonies. But then, unlike the Brits who voted to Brexit six years ago today, countries seem keen to be members of organisations and alliances. This week both Ukraine and Moldova took their first official steps to join the EU. It seems that while President Zelinskyy thinks highly of Johnson, who seems to spend more time in Kyiv than he does in Parliament, he is less enamoured of his friend’s views on the advantages of the organisation we voted to leave in June 2016 and left in January 2020. Not that we have finally sorted out the problem of Northern Ireland, which is why we are now proposing to introduce legislation to allow us to break the agreement we negotiated about it, even though it was touted as a great triumph at the time.

Deputy Prime Minister and Lord Chancellor, Dominic Raab, is promoting another bout of convention hokey- cokey. This time, we are waving two fingers at the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg because it is apparently unconscionable for Brits to have their laws and policies interfered with by foreigners who for some reason imagine that they are entitled to interpret those laws and policies in the light of the Articles of the Convention that Britain itself largely drafted only a few years after the end of World War Two – with the input and encouragement of that well known lefty, Sir Winston Churchill. Raab proposes to change the law so that we can ignore anything in the Convention we don’t like and any judgments that we don’t agree with. Raab is also contemplating allowing government ministers to disagree with any judicial review of ministerial decisions by UK judges, even though they are not even foreign. But it appears that Johnson, Raab and others are interested in proclaiming our freedoms as long as they don’t have to uphold them if they don’t like them. Rather like Johnson’s role model,  Trump, who put aside the trifling fact that he had lost in order to subvert the 2020 election, and damn near succeeded, the attitude prevailing in Westminster, as it did and still does in parts of Washington D.C, is that you do what you want, say what you like, fill your own or pals’ pockets with loads of money and then avoid the consequences by denying the facts or changing the rules or both. The voters of Wakefield and Honiton have shown Johnson what they think of him and his arrogance. He says he will listen. He always says that. But he never means it.

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We start our review of the week’s wanky wear in NYC with singer Lil Nas X inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame wearing who knows what?

Bless him. His fringe is so long that he was unable to see where he was going as he wandered out across Madison Avenue, where he got hit by a truck and run over. Look – you can see the skid marks….. 

Next up, we have actor Winston Duke wearing Dolce & Gabbana on the front row of its fashion show during Milan Fashion Week.

Great dressing gown. Great pyjamas. But not to be worn outdoors. Because they are a dressing gown and pyjamas. As for the basketwork shoes, WTF prefers not to speak of them.

The Tribeca Film Festival is STILL going on. It is taking longer than the January 6 hearings. Here is actor Julia Fox wearing not very much, so no change there….


Julia featured last week but this is even worse because there is even less of it, to whit a Pretty Woman Minge Moment mini, which is more of a belt, and a bralet-cum- neck-clamp. As for the eyebrows, they are preposterous and unnerving in equal measure.

And now we have a pair of Harlequins who are as silly as silly can be. First, we are in London where we encounter splendid actor Michael Shannon at the Paramount + Dinner .

Dearie me. He has raided the nearest Sue Ryder Charity Shop attempting to emulate Picasso’s Harlequin with a Mirror. Only Picasso’s harlequin did not wear horrible trainers and WTF is also willing to wager that the shade of his trousers matched the shade of his jacket. Memo to Michael – buy a travel iron.

Our other harlequin is in Miami, namely actor Casey Thomas Brown at the premiere of the remade Father of the Bride,  wearing Wiederhoeft.

We are all sick to death of shocking pink, but WTF could have lived with the basic suit were it not for the plethora of dangly bits. He looks like a maypole that rustics dance around in episodes of The Larkins  and Midsomer Murders.

Finally, here is actor Tessa Thompson at the launch of the latest series of WestWorld wearing Interior.

The front of the alleged ‘dress’ has a built-in, encrusted, crotch cup as well as incorporated tit-toppers, while the back gives use the now-near-mandatory arse cheeks. It took WTF a while to work out that there is a bum-bow, because for a white she thought it was a small rodent. Yurgle.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Sue Peters who has spotted these deeply distasteful jeans on Twitter and has quite properly brought them to WTF’s attention.  

What the actual FUCK!!!!??????? What is next? How about some Grenfell jeans? Or  maybe a pair commemorating the latest school massacre in Uvalde Texas? Unacceptable, and then some. These jeans have so Got To Go…

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep the comments coming, as well as your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To GoLet us meet again next Friday when you will get to decide the WTF Summer Stinker 2022. Be good x

 

 

 

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Carrie Symonds, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Dominic Raab, Donald Trump, European Court of Human Rights, Politics, refugees, Rwanda, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF The Only Way is Ethics Special

Hallo Readers,

The late and much lamented Peter Cook and Dudley Moore did a deeply disgusting sketch about the worst job in the world. WTF is not going to repeat the details, so you will just have to go and look it up on YouTube. But Pete and Dud were part of a world very different to the present one. In those days, politicians used to resign when they did something wrong, whether they were caught with their pants round their ankles or acting in some other dishonourable way. However, that was then. This is now. Which is why WTF’s nomination for the worst job ever has got to be the role of Boris Johnson’s ethics adviser. Frankly most people would rather shovel shit in the furthest reaches of some particularly noxious sewer, although the ambience is not dissimilar. It is little wonder that our Prime Minister, having parted company with two ethics advisers in three years, is now hinting that he may not bother to recruit a third. You might as well order the tide to stop rolling in. It just won’t and you end up looking very silly, having wasted a lot of your own and everybody else’s time. As we know that Johnson’s solution to an ethical problem is to ignore it or, even better, to change the rules and abolish the ethical problem. And if neither of those work, he just lies his way out of it and sets off in search of a new photo opportunity, preferably sporting a hard hat and a hi-viz jacket in a fetching citrus hue. 

Lord Geidt, the latest Johnson adviser to head for the exit, finally decided that he’d had enough when Johnson contemplated breaking the ministerial code in relation to steel tariffs. He said that he felt that he was being put in an ‘impossible and odious position. As opposed to what? What took him so long? Johnson has been breaking the ministerial code since his political balls dropped and he has every intention of continuing to do so, albeit that from time to time he is obliged to fake a grovelling apology for being dishonest, evasive, and downright dodgy. Geidt did not resign when Johnson lied to him about the identity of the bloke who coughed up for the gold wallpaper in No 10, and he seems to have been able to survive the constant stream of porkies coming out of the Prime Minister’s mouth in relation to Partygate or his announced intention to renege on the Northern Ireland Protocol. But like the camel whose back finally buckles under one straw too many, Geidt clearly decided that whatever benefits there might have been in his role were far outweighed by the constant humiliation of looking like a fool. Or as WTF’s mother used to ask ‘for what do I need such?’ Geidt is a bright man who needs neither the money nor the aggravation of trying to hold this shitshow of a government to account, and, worse, of having to justify his failure to control his boss in front of a roomful of frankly incredulous MPs asking him variations of the same question, namely ‘are you having a laugh?’ ‘WTF suspects that like those misguided women who always think that they will be the one  to change the reprobate with whom they are smitten, Geidt fancied his chances as the man who could hold Johnson to account. Like everyone else who has tried it, whether they be wives or girlfriends or employers or editors or party leaders or colleagues, he failed. Miserably.

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We begin a bumper review of the week’s sartorial shite with singer Madonna, seen with photographer Ricardo Gomes, wearing Balenciaga and a face that isn’t hers.

The top costs £975 and it sucks. The shorts look as if they cost about £9 75 and are creased as hell. But you know what isn’t creased? Her face. Madge,  you are 63 years old and lean as a whippet. But that is not your face. No-one has a face that smooth at the age of 63. WTF has seen billiard balls with more wrinkles. 

Next to the Tribeca Film Festival and the Chanel Party attended, amongst others, by actor Amandla Stenberg wearing Chanel.

Coco Chanel must be turning in her grave. The jacket has shrunk in the wash and Amandla (which is the Xhosa word for power) has badger’s bum hair. But worse still she is showing not just her pants but her hips in what is the female equivalent of builder’s bum. We saw Gigi Hadid doing this the other week. This trend has to stop. Right. Now. 

We are now at the Tony Awards in New York, the equivalent of the UK Olivier Awards for theatrical excellence. This is actor Tony Goldwyn, from Scandal, wearing who can even say what?

This really is a scandal. The shit-coloured tux is at least a size too small as well as too short, and its silky trim is matched by a toning barmitzvah-boy bow tie, worn with what appear to be white slacks. He looks like an extra from Hi-di-Hi. 

Next up we have actor Danielle Brooks (aka the wonderful Taystee from Orange Is The New Black) wearing Victorluna.

This is more a case of Victorloony. London Transport has just launched a range of gifts in the signature upholstery used on its brand new Elizabeth Line. Danielle’s dress seems to be a hitherto-unannounced addition to the line, the Elizabeth Line blow-up condom. Yurgle.

This is actor Ian Paget, wearing Lanvin.

Behold! A glass of orange slush on legs…..

And this is actress Kara Young wearing Christian Siriano.

If a Quality Street Orange Creme went to a fancy dress party as a dinosaur, this is what it would look like….We are now at the British Soap Awards in Manchester where we encounter serial offender, actor Chelsee Healey, wearing Patty Fashion.

Chelsee is almost half Madonna’s age but her visage also bears evidence of some interference in the workings of nature. As for the dress, she seems to have Venom perching on her left tit. 

Meet actor Paco Leon at Carolina Herrera’s Eyewear Launch in Aravaca, Spain.

There are two very odd things going on here. First, what is that dangling string thing clipped to his waistband, together with what seems to be a bag charm? And second, why has his shirt got tit slits in the shape of cats’ pupils? #baffled

Here is she is again. WTF speaks of actor Julia Fox wearing not enough, as per bloody usual.

As we have established, Julia likes flaunting her body but now that she does not have Kanye West on her arm, she needs more reason for people to look at her, which is why she is venturing forth wearing a bikini and leather jacket draped with a fishing net. The time has come for Julia to stay indoors….

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado @enya-hoo who brought this horror to light. It is rapper Megan Thee Stallion wearing so-called jeans by  Mugler.

WTF can confidently say that these are not jeans. Not even at all.  These are arse-flashing denim chaps, held together by ‘illusion tulle’. They are extremely unpleasant, probably appallingly uncomfortable and just plain silly. At least Megan has a nice firm bum. What happens if the wearer does not? It doesn’t  even bare thinking about. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep the comments coming, as well as your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To GoLet us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, British Soap Awards, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Partygate, Politics, Tonys 2022, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment