During the great depression in the 1930s, the US saw the emergence of dance marathons where unfortunate and desperate people would try and win some money by dancing non-stop; the last couple standing took the cash prize. There is an excellent film on this subject called They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? made in 1969 and starring Jane Fonda. Now, almost a century later, there is a new international marathon dance competition, the Tariff Hokey Cokey. In this version, the US President randomly imposes enormous trading tariffs on other nations for reaons that can best be described as spurious. Countries are supposed to dance to this tune until he either cancels the tariffs or reduces them or increases them or puts them on hold pending negotiations until the markets crash and everyone gets very nervous. This led to a stay of 90 days in April in order that the countries facing these tariffs could carry on dancing and make their deals. But there were hardly any deals. This week, with the deadline looming, the Administration started sending out letters identifying the terms of these deals in a style which was a mash-up of malfunctioning AI and a petulant eight-year-old child. When it was pointed out to 47 that these were not deals because the other side had not agreed to them, he replied that these were the deals the US wanted, and so they were deals. This ignores the basic concepts of offer and acceptance, and makes no sense, but then this is Washington 2025.
The 90-day deadline was to be last week but an Executive Order shifted the date to 2 August. However, when asked about this in a press conference, the President denied that there had been any sort of extension, despite having signed the Order for one only hours earlier. No one pushed back on this but then, with a few honourable exceptions, the press corps has been packed with stooges, namely representatives of such august publications as GodsentDonaldtosaveus.com. And, sadly, this Administration telling lies is hardly news.
It gets better. On Wednesday, the Presidents of five African countries were summoned to the White House to discuss trade deals with the US. One of those five countries was Liberia. 47 congratulated Joseph Boakai on his excellent English. Boakai’s English is excellent because English is the mother tongue of Liberia. At this point, even Gandhi would have strangled him, but Boakai has a level of self-control previously unknown to man. Meanwhile, the current Brazilian President received a letter in which the country was threatened with 50% tariffs unless it ended its prosecution of the former president, 47’s mate Jair Bolsonaro, who is currently on trial for trying to overturn the result of the election which he lost. In modern-day America, overturning an election equals patriotism whereas prosecuting those who try and overturn an election is deemed to be lawlessness, persecution and an attack on the rights of free speech. You may be interested to note that Russia is currently not facing tariffs for invading Ukraine. Just saying.
So to sum up – there are no major deals, no one knows what the latest tariffs – which have probably been calculated at 4 am on a child’s abacus – are, or what they will be, and it is all a colossal shitshow. It is jolly tiring, is it not? There is keeping them guessing and there is making a fool of yourself, and then lying about it, thus making an even bigger a fool of yourself. There will be a lot more of this before 2028. Will any of us survive it? It is certainly taking its toll on WTF.
We begin our review of the week’s wanky wear with actor Vanessa Kirby launching her new movie The Fantastic Four, wearing Alaïa.
Vanessa is pregnant and looks super-slinky but was it really necessary to have to have ventilation strips on her bottom? They are vulgar. Only okapis and zebras should have striped bottoms, and Vanessa is neither.
Next, we are in LA at the premiere of Superman where we find actor Isabella Merced wearing Yanina Couture.
Nothing about this is good. Nothing. Not the deep Minge Moment. Not the exposed belly-button. And certainly not the iron filings pattern over the torso and groin, like the kids game of old when you drew moustaches and hair styles on peoples by ragging iron files. Ah, those times of innocence….
Now we are at Paris Fashion Week with actor Laetitia Casta wearing Jacquemus.
This is not a dress. This is a straitjacket with tittage.
Next we have stylist Law Roach at the Schiaparelli fashion show looking very silly. Here is yet another man in those ridiculous St Laurent boots.
If Foo-Foo the Muppet went to a fancy dress party as a yeti in top boots, this is what it would look like.
Welcome back to the winner of this year’s Summer Stinker Poll, Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Lina Rinna, wearing Balenciaga.
This is just plain weird. It is essentially a padded slanket. A slanket may provide snugglesome warmth back home on the sofa but it is not for external wear. And those trewsies are an accident waiting to happen.
Here is the ineffable Cardi B also wearing Schiaparelli,
To be fair, Cardi B was flashing her tits long before the public had heard of Lauren Sánchez or had become subjected to what are daily sightings of Sánchez’s hyper-inflated embonpoint. And here they are again, as inevitable a sight as the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. This time, they are bubbling up from behind a flyscreen..
Finally, Law Roach is Ryan Destiny’s stylist and so presumably he is partly responsible for her wearing this monstrosity from Schiaparelli. Careful now…..
So we have a pair of shoes on her feet and another pair of shoes on her tits. Actually, the shoes on her tits are nicer than the ones on her feet. But that does not mean that they should be there. Not even at all. What next? Panties worn on the head?
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh who brought this appalling vision of hell to WTF’s attention. This is a swimming costume available on Amazon for $48 (reduced from $102).
There is one only question here. WHY? This is one of the very worst things that WTF ever did see in her life, right up there with previous horrors such as the scrote tote. No. Just no. It’s Got to Go.
Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow her on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x
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