wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Until Wednesday night, WTF had never heard of Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, and she suspects that she is not alone. Probably only 0.999999999999% of the whole world has ever heard of Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, which are located somewhere in the Indian Ocean. In fact, even the inhabitants of Heard Island and the McDonald Islands have never of Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, because their only inhabitants are penguins and penguins tend not to be well-versed in the finer points of geopolitics. Even when it concerns their home countries. But this week, Heard Island and the McDonald Islands were thrust into the spotlight when they were slapped with 10% tariffs on their exports to the United States as a result of a spectacle in the White House Rose Garden. The John Maynard Keynes de nos jours, aka President 47, threw tariffs around like a demented knife-thrower, including those landing on Heard Island and the McDonald Islands. And China. And Canada. And the EU. And the United Kingdom. We got done at the rate of 10%, so all that crawling up 47’s fundament and inviting him to Balmoral to make the poor King’s life miserable came to naught, and we are well punished for our obsequiousness. Although the world was assured that 47 and his team had been working around the clock to” perfect” the percentages to be applied to anyone and everyone who traded with the US, the rates determined seem to have been calculated on what might kindly be described as an ad hoc basis derived from a mixture of a feeling in 47’s water and his thinking of a number, doubling it, doubling it again, then halving it and calling it a policy.

It is fair to say that the reception, both in the US and abroad, has been on the incredulous side of glacial. Somewhat conspicuously, 47 delayed unveiling the details of who was getting clobbered with what, including the unfortunate penguins, until after the US markets had closed. When they opened again on Thursday morning, they tumbled from the off, finishing some 1500 points down on the day with horrified traders looking as if they had been shot full of novocaine, their faces the colour of the grey sea lapping around Heard Island and the McDonald Islands, It is now thought that a recession cannot be far away. To paraphrase 47 in his famous Presidential TV debate with Kamala Harris, the tariffs are eating the pennies of the people who live there. And indeed everywhere else. However, the President appears to be keeping his nerve. Rather than pander to the fears of the people who voted for him in the expectation that he would improve their finances rather than wreck them, he buggered off to Mar A Lago to host a golf tournament and dinner, and then no doubt to play a few rounds himself over the weekend. Nero fiddled while Rome burned. 47 plays golf. Meanwhile, the penguins should start saving up as Armageddon is about to be unleashed upon them. Not to mention the rest of us. 

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We start our review of the week’s woeful wear with designer Jeremy Scott, who has just been commissioned to design 500 costumes for a cabaret in Berlin. It seems that he is already giving us a preview…..

If a Smurf wore green snakeskin booties and got caught in an explosion in a paint factory, this is what it would look like.

We are now in London’s sun-dappled Trafalgar Square (no, this  photo is not AI-generated) where we encounter actor Viola Davis promoting her new movie, G20, wearing Stella McCartney.

This is probably one of the most unflattering things ever in the history of ever, and yet further evidence, were evidence even necessary, that Stella continues to take the piss. It amounts to a bin bag worn with pointy-toed boots and she also looks as if she is being strangled by it.

And here is another bin bag, this one by Weiderhœft, worn by Tinashe at the Billboard Awards 2025  in Las Vegas, (where we will remain for the rest of the blog).

Is this a case of recycling the recycling? This is like those Russian dolls (matroyska) with one inside another one. Frankly, WTF is surprised that Tinashe did not climb inside the dress and turn herself in to the Refuse and Recycling Operatives.  Mind you, she could not have done that in Birmingham, (the UK one, not the Alabama one), because the Refuse and Recycling Operatives are not collecting the refuse and recycling at the moment as they are on strike. Just like you cannot put lipstick on a pig, you cannot put lace on a shit-brown-coloured bin bag and call it a dress. Oh, and those shoes look fiendishly uncomfortable.

Next we have a newcomer to this blog, singer-songwriter Ari Lennox wearing Coperni. Mind how you go with this one.

This is Inspector Gadget in a nappy. That is all.

And another newcomer, singer Rapsody, wearing  who can say what…..

The sleeves make it look as if someone has done something very drastic and painful to her arms, while the trousers have a shocking case of elephant vagina syndrome – not helped, of course, by the colour. Whoever is responsible for those trousers should be in jail for crotchicide.

And finally, if you were wondering how WTF managed to get through a review of a music awards show without featuring a pair of bare buttocks, the answer is…. she didn’t. These ones were the most egregious example, on singer Amanda Reifer.

It turns out that she made the outfit herself, except the boots, which are from Christian Louboutin, by buying a sheet of leather in a hardware store, shredding it with mathematical precision and attaching the shreds to a thonged one-armed leotard with the other arm appearing to be in a sling. WTF hopes Amanda did not dance too energetically at the afterparty or she would have whipped herself – or perhaps an unfortunate dance partner- to death. The buttocks themselves look like a couple of organic hard-boiled eggs.

Talking of thongs, this week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of Islington who was appalled to discover that swanky fashion house The Row is offering idiots with more money than sense the chance to buy their new flip flops. Here they are ….

They are made of rubber with grosgrain uppers. They are perfectly nice. But they cost £670. £670!!!!!  That is 22 pairs of Havaianas.  That is a whole holiday. The word rip-off has insufficient nuance. It’s Got to Go.

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow me on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x