wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers and Happy New Year,

Of course it was hardly the greatest start to 2025, with people being mown down in New Orleans and a car being blown up in front of the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas and bombs raining down in the Middle East. But given that we are still technically in the festive season, let us try and keep the mood light.

 In The Mikado (WTF was brought up on Gilbert and Sullivan, not to be confused with Gilbert O’Sullivan, the wistful Irish singer of the 1970s), Koko, the Lord High Executioner, has a little list:

I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list,
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

This week, WTF is bringing you her list of people who deserve to be put in the stocks with no right of appeal, not even at all.  As she is relatively merciful. she will allow them to be pelted only with soft fruit, nothing hard. We are incorporating the usual It’s Got To Go as well. Here they come, in no particular order:

• People listening to music or watching something on their mobiles or iPads in public places or transport without headphones. In the stocks!
• People crunching food loudly or unwrapping sweets in a theatre or cinema. In the stocks!
• Men pissing in public, particularly on the hard shoulder of a motorway. In the stocks!
• Wolf whistlers. Male or female. In the stocks!
• Cyclists who ride without lights. So that you cannot see them. In the stocks!
• Cyclists who jump traffic lights or fail to stop at give way lines and ride straight out in front of you. In the stocks!
• Cyclists riding the wrong way up a one-way street. In the stocks!
• Cyclists riding 2 abreast on the country road. In the stocks!
• Anyone driving below 70 in the middle lane of a motorway. In the stocks!
• Drivers who leave their engines running so that they can listen to the radio and/or to music  or have conversations on the phone so loudly that you can hear it from inside your house. In the stocks!
• People who cross the road while looking at their phones, particularly those of them pushing babies in pushchairs. In the stocks!
• Cycle rickshaws infesting the West End of London, particularly those which blare out music very loudly and/or which are covered in vaginal pink fur. In the stocks!
• Buskers with amplification. In the stocks!
• Proselytisers with amplification warning you of your imminent trip to the fires of hell unless you convert to whichever religion they happen to belong to. In the stocks!
• Anyone responsible for TV or radio advertisements in rhyming couplets. In the stocks!
• Men walking around bare-chested in cities. In the stocks!
• Drunken women hanging out of candy-coloured limousines and screeching loudly. In the stocks!
• Anyone cold-calling before 8:00 AM or after 6:00 PM. In the stocks!
• Anyone who uses any of the following expressions – “community”, “curated”, “lost their brave battle with cancer/battled cancer”, immersive”, “to medal”, or “journey” (as in “my weight-loss journey”).

Aren’t your palms just itching to launch those tomatoes? Mine are…

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We turn to the review of the recent rubbishy attire – there is not a lot of it about this week as everyone has either been indoors stuffing their face or parading around exotic beaches in swimwear or hurtling down ski slopes. So this is an opportunity for WTF to remind you of the technicolour vomit that is the visage of Donald J Trump, President-elect of the United States. I mean….LOOK AT IT!!!!!

Forget rancid kumquat – this is full shit-smear. How can you take a man seriously who looks like he has been part of a dirty protest? Why does it only go half way down his neck? And nowhere near his eyes? Appalling.

And next we move on to actor Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor at the première of Nickel Boys.

What is that thing on her head?  She looks like the love child of the Grim Reaper and a concrete bus shelter and clad in dinner jacket pyjamas. It says a lot about how awful the outfit is when the pink hair looks good in comparison…..

Still in LA, we encounter singer Victoria Monét, out and about at the Bar Marmont.

Supergirl in a minge triangle, groin a-go-go, water wings, a cape and boots with pads to make kneeling easier. Frightful.

This is actor Mikey Madison, star of Anora, gracing the cover of WWD wearing Thom Browne.

WTF is unsure what is worse – the anatomical detail like a dissected corpse or the very visible nipple detail, one white, one red.  It is enough to turn one vegetarian.

It gets worse. Here is actor Laverne Cox at the Broadway première of Gypsy wearing a 2006 John Galliano skirt and a 2019 top from Comme des Garçons.

The skirt is reminiscent of a dreamy sunset. What it has to do with the horrible top, like a bear’s head with its jaws gaping open to display a lot of under-boob and a great deal of torso, is anyone’s guess.

And finally….the winner of the fabled WTF Christmas Turkey Poll 2024. She romped away with it, rather like her tits are doing under that deeply inadequate strappage. Yes, of course, it is bits-flasher and current wife of lunatic Kanye West, Bianca Censori.

Bianca got 23% of the vote. A worthy winner.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF will be back with a review of Sunday’s Golden Globes as we cruise happily into Awards Season and its frightful red carpets. Keep those suggestions coming for It’s Got To Go and your top comments on the blog. And you can now follow me on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x