WTF TFG Special

Hallo Readers,

It is just like Barack Obama said it would be. ‘With Joe and Kamala at the helm, you’re not going to have to think about the crazy things they said every day. And that’s worth a lot… You’re not going to have to argue about them every day. It just won’t be so exhausting’. And it isn’t. It’s dull. It’s  normal. Adults appear to be in charge and they have some idea of what they are doing and lots of experience of already having done it well. It’s great. Long may it continue.

But the Former Guy, as Biden called him the other night, has not gone away. He does not see his future at Mar A Lago,  playing golf and dodging the tsunami of lawsuits heading his way, but as the Leader in Exile Who Will Return. And the vast majority of GOP congressmen and senators see him on the same way. It does not matter that he bullied and insulted them day in, day out. They do not care that a baying mob, like something out of Deliverance, stormed the Capitol on 6 January and could have killed any or all of them. They remain in his thrall, like sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome. Idiot Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin went so far as to sneer at the idea that the mob was part of an armed insurrection as police had only found one gun. Actually a large number of guns were recovered and a mountain of ammunition, but Johnson however clearly wanted more than eyes gouged out and policemen beaten with sticks, fire extinguishers and American flags. Perhaps next time the Deliverance boys come calling, they will have AK47s. Let us hope that Johnson manages to dodge the bullets. And then there is Senator Lindsey Graham, the Talullah Bankhead of South Carolina, who spent four years so far up TFG’s bottom that only his shoes were on show. On 6 January, with order restored, he stood up in the Senate and declared that he and TFG were over, only to head back into his manly arms days later. And let us not forget House GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy. As the mob surged into the building, McCarthy placed frantic calls to the White House begging for assistance and failed to get it. But that night he still voted to block the Electoral College votes and only last week he was down in Florida kissing TFG’s ring, as CNN commentators put it. WTF dreads to think which of TFG’s rings they were talking about.

But all of these creeps have additional vertebra in comparison to turtle-faced former Senate Leader, Mitch McConnell. He stayed silent for a month after the election, and only accepted the result after the Electoral College votes were certified. After TFG was impeached by the House, he refused to recall the Senate for the trial which is part two of the process, and so by the time it started, TFG had gone back to Florida. At which point, McConnell voted against impeachment on the grounds that it was unconstitutional to impeach a former President. And only after the Senate had failed to muster the necessary two-thirds vote, despite the clearest evidence, did Turtle-Face stand up and declare that TFG was Truly Fucking Guilty and that he should be locked up for his perfidy. This is the equivalent of a man murdering his parents and then throwing himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.  Now TFG is attacking McConnell and everyone is attacking those GOP Senators and Congressmen who followed their conscience and voted to impeach. They all deserve TFG and they all deserve each other.

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial shockers with our Supreme Leader Boris Johnson. Rather than do any actual work, he has taken to hanging around Covid wards and vaccine centres in his shirtsleeves with his tie tucked into the shirt and an expression of faux-empathy.

We have featured Johnson’s silly and capacious trousers on a number of occasions, but here we have a horrendous closeup of his moobs.  WTF has long been a sworn enemy of VNA (Visible Nipple Activity). It is however singularly inappropriate for our Prime Minister to be sporting more nipple activity than Peter Stringfellow’s tits-and-arse establishments.

Next up is French singer Yseult wearing Mugler at an awards ceremony in Paris.

OK, before you all start on me, this is not a fat thing, this is a taste thing. The jacket is great, although the shoulders are a bit gangster, and she has buckets of attitude. What she does not have, unfortunately, is a pair of trousers or a skirt and questions must also be asked about the thumbless gloves. If Liza Minnelli had sex with Tony Soprano, this is what their lovechild would look like.

Next up are ridiculous singer Justin Bieber and his wife, model Hailey Baldwin Bieber , out and about in LA.

WTF is always pleasantly surprised to see Hailey in actual clothes, but she looks fine. Her spouse, as ever, still has trouble reconciling the concept of his own crotch nestling in approximation to the crotch of whatever he has on his nether regions, and the legs of his joggers look like a pair of purple swizzle sticks.

This is Vietnamese-born American actress Lana Condor, wearing Minge Maestro Julien Macdonald.

If a furry bird went to a fancy dress party as Dame Shirley Bassey, this is what it would look like.

Now we have The Crown actress Emma Corrin wearing Paco Rabanne.

The swagger is good but the outfit is entirely preposterous,  a cross between eighteenth-century English cleric John Wesley and an SS general complete with bovver boots.

And finally, a newcomer in the shape of Internet ‘influencer’ and make up artiste Hrush Achemyan wearing Louis Vuitton and what look like Christian Louboutin boots.

She is influencing WTF to cover up. That is one hell of a silhouette. Her bum is reminiscent of the burial mounds in the moonlight, like the ones at Sutton Hoo in East Anglia.

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Jan from Melbourne, Australia. Jan was horrified by these revolting jeans from Schein, yours for only £19 99, (and you would have been robbed blind).

Over the years, It’s Got To Go has brought you a lot of disastrous denim, but this pair can assert a vigorous claim to a podium position for worst of the worst. What is going on here? What is the point of pockets when they only serve only as a Minge Proscenium Arch?  More Schite than Schein. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in as they keep WTF chipper, and don’t forget your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again on next Friday. Be good and stay safe.

 
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3 Responses to WTF TFG Special

  1. Trust you to keep the worst for last (although Yseult is right up there in the reckoning). Trevor and I spat into our respective bowls of muesli at the notion of a ‘Minge Proscenium Arch’. WTFITP (What The F*** Is The Point) should be considered as an additional blog section in our humble opinion. Pockets to purely hold up – WTF? And did you get a pic of the back? I presume they look perfectly normal offering yet more shock as the wearer turns to face you. YUCK!

  2. Lottie says:

    I thought Emma Corrin was wearing a fabulous coat then realised it’s a fabulous jacket and skirt. Love it. Lose the Puritan ribbons stupid sleeves and bovver boots, though.
    The “influencer” should have been influenced to wear something that didn’t look like she’d gone out in just her tights.
    Why don’t people check their mirrors before they leave the house?

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