WTF Sucker Special

Hallo Readers,

Three weeks on from the US Election and incumbent Donald Trump has yet to admit that he lost, which he did, bigly. Instead, he has been channelling his energy into the three things he does best – (i) getting money out of the gullible (ii) lying, moaning and whingeing on Twitter and (iii) applying orange pancake makeup with the finesse of a drunken brickie. No energy has been expended upon more traditional Presidential pursuits such as running the country. Certainly he is not bothering to try and combat Covid 19 so that many hospitals have run out, or are running out, of beds, 160,000 new people daily are being diagnosed with it, and deaths from it are running at 2,000 a day. Meanwhile, he has found the time to pardon General Mike Lock-Her-Up Flynn, whom he views as a great patriot for having lied to the Vice-President (for which he was sacked by, er, Donald Trump), and to the FBI, and for pleading guilty (twice). Speculation is rife as to who will be next up for a pardon, although it is thought that Trump will probably pardon himself. It is a pity that Charles Manson could not have kept going for another couple of years or he too might have been shortly out of jail.

Trump will doubtless slink away on or before 20 January 2021, but he is in no hurry to go, because as P T Barnum reportedly remarked, ‘there’s a sucker born every minute’. Those suckers, sucking at the teats of Sean Hannity on Fox News, Chanel Rion on OANN, Rush Limbaugh on the radio, and lunatics on Twitter and Facebook, have been brainwashed into believing that Joe Biden stole the election with the assistance of all or any of the late Hugo Chavez, Chy-na, dodgy Germans, Democrats, socialists, communists, anarchists, civil servants, vote counters, and, somewhat to the surprise of many, the Republican Governor and Secretary of State from Georgia, both of whom Trump strongly endorsed only two years ago. The main fraud narrative has been pushed by Rudy Giuliani, who looks and sounds as though he rightfully belongs in a straitjacket, a frightful straight-out-of-central-casting Trumpian blonde legal Barbie called Jenna Ellis, whose main job is to make Rudy look competent, and a Texan lawyer called Sidney Powell, who is a she, whose extreme right-wing-QAnon-off-the-wall-and-down-int0-the-sewer conspiracy theories proved too much even for Trump, who fired her last week and then pretended he had never hired her in the first place. Powell has just filed a 104-page pleading in the Georgia Federal Court alleging much of the theoretical rubbish set out above. Giuliani and Ellis have been losing cases all over America with judges dismissing their claims using judicial speak for ‘get-the-fuck-out-of -here-and-look-snappy-about-it’. But this only allows Trump to continue to portray himself as the victim of injustice, sending out pleas for cash (to date 344 emails and letters) to fight the fiendish attack on democracy (not his, the alleged one on behalf of Biden). Donors may however have missed the small print at the bottom of the appeal which advises them that 75% of any money given (it was 60% but it went up this week) would not go to the Giuliani and Legal Barbie or to the Toxic Texan who sees reds under every bed, but to a SuperPac called Save America run by a certain Donald Trump. It is an ill wind that blows nobody again good, and this wind is proving to be very profitable.

Trump and co have been so effective in their lying that some 70% of Republicans now believe that he won the election by a lot, even states where he would not have won had no one else been on the ballot, like California and New York. And while he happily spends his SuperPac millions and plans which of his ghastly family will run in 2024, not excluding himself, his true legacy is that he has wholly undermined American democracy while attacking his predecessor for doing what he himself did. Yesterday he said he would leave if the Electoral College voted for Biden whilst still maintaining the election was stolen. Let us hope he is as good as his word.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam in Sydney with Aussie actress and singer Jessica Mauboy at the Australian ARIA awards, wearing something frightful.

Great smile. However, slits by the tits and genitalia curtains are bad enough, but not nearly as bad as the fabric, which makes Jessica look like a cheetah hiding in a haberdashery.

Next up we are in LA with TV celebritee Draya Michele, wearing Grayscale.

Christmas seems to have come early, as when Draya finished wrapping her yuletide gifts, she used the rest of the ribbon to wrap herself with extra ribbon employed as a Minge Mask. The outfit is by Grayscale, which gave WTF the perfect opportunity to remark that grayscale was the very nasty affliction suffered by characters various in Game of Thrones. And the grayscale looked better than the Grayscale.

Next up we are at the American Music Awards where we encounter diva Jennifer Lopez, wearing Balmain.

Look, JLo is the quintessence of sexy but that does not mean that everything she wears looks good. Here she does not look good, what with caught-in-the-rain hair and the ridiculous outfit made from draped bedroom curtains.

Meet newcomer, rapper Iann Dior wearing a rather floppy suit.

The fabric is a gorgeous colour and he is very cute, but he appears to have been caught in the rain alongside JLo because the whole thing is so damn droopy. Oh, and no man should ever been seen in a suit with a white belt. WTF is irresistibly reminded of the naughty pageboy Cherubino in The Marriage of Figaro.

And a third attendee, singer Bebe Rexha wearing Julien MacDonald.

Regular readers of this column (and if you are not a regular reader, where the hell have you been?) will know that WTF has an aversion to Julien, who cannot resist the urge to let his customers have everything hanging out. Meanwhile Bebe is clearly making a determined bid for the Jessica Rabbit Award 2020 and on this showing, she must be guaranteed at least a place on the podium.

Also there was actress Laverne Cox wearing Minge Maestro Michael Costello.

Minge Maestro Michael is another one who prefers it out rather than in. If Wonderwoman went to a fancy dress party as a swimsuit model, this is what she would look like.

And finally from the AMAs, here is rapper Machine Gun Kelly wearing Balmain. Balmain! Ye Gods……

To be frank, a scrawny chest like that should be covered up and not paraded coram publico, and there is no excuse whatsoever for the silk incontinence trousers.

And she’s back after a long absence! Yes it’s actress Bai Ling, seen here in Taipei at a film festival wearing the sort of thing that only Bai Ling would wear.

This is quite restrained for Bai Ling, i.e, it is utterly ridiculous as opposed to totally, scandalously, terrible. The inspiration for this get up seems to have been Ruby Keeler as Shanghai Lil in the 1993 movie, Footlight Parade.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who is aghast at Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s trousers.

For Heaven’s sake. The man is a billionaire and he cannot find a pair of trousers that has not had a major falling out with his ankles? It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Your comments have started coming in again as well as some tip-top suggestions for It’s Got To Go so keep them coming, Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

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