WTF Election Special

Hallo Readers,

For those whose geography is a little rusty, Belarus is a small country in Eastern Europe which used to be part of the Soviet Union. It has been an independent republic since 1991. The United States is a big country across the Atlantic. It has been a republic since 1776.  The current President of Belarus, Alexander Lukashenko, has been in power since 1994.  In 2010, he again ‘triumphed’ in the Presidential Election with 80% of the vote, whereupon most of his opponents were locked up. In 2020, Lukashenko again triumphed’ with 80% of the vote and many of his opponents promptly legged it over the border to avoid incarceration as protesters took to the streets. In the United States, President Donald Trumpashenko, who was elected in a shock result in 2016, is now on the brink of defeat in this week’s 2020 Presidential Election, except that he says he has not been defeated at all and that it has been, or will be, stolen from him. Some groups of protesters have taken to the streets and Trumpashenko and his two idiot sons are actively inciting more of them to do. Trumpashenko Jr tweeted that this father must ‘go to war’. The other Trumpashenko son has been screaming fraud and tweeting evidence that would be damning if only it were true, except that it is not. But none of this is surprising, because Trumpashenko did not even accept the result in 2016 when he won. Although he secured  the Electoral College, that arcane nonsense based on state by state victories, he lost the popular vote by over 3 million votes. That, explained Trumpashenko, was because millions of illegals had voted for his opponent. He even set up a Fraud Commission to inquire into this shocking assault upon democracy, but within months it was abandoned without finding a scintilla of evidence.

This time, it is not the illegals conspiring against Trumpashenko but Democrat administrations overseeing the voting process in those states where he is either losing or in danger of doing so. This will come as something a surprise to the Governor and Secretary of State of Georgia and to the Governor of Arizona, all of whom are staunch Republicans, not to mention the selfless officials who have been counting the votes in Georgia, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Nevada and North Carolina. But according to Trumpashenko and his plankton offspring, they should stop counting the votes (and he is 4 millions votes behind in the popular vote) because the only ones that count are the ones which were cast in person whereas any mail-in votes,  except those cast for him, were fraudulent and filled in by dead people, or non-residents, or the aforesaid election officials, all at the behest of the Democrats and their backers, Big Money, Big Media and Big Tech. And because Trumpashenko had spent 2020 telling his supporters not to vote by mail as the process was fraudulent, they largely voted in person. At the insistence of Republican State legislatures, these votes were to be counted first, and they were mostly cast by Republicans. Democrats, who largely chose not to catch Covid while standing in line for six hours next to maskless oiks in the middle of a snowstorm or a hurricane, voted by mail, and their votes were counted last. Whereupon Trumpashenko’s lead in those four, and in other, states began to be ‘whittled away’, mostly because the substantially Democrat vote was only now being counted.

According to Trumpashenko’s frenzied tweets and preposterous public statements on Election Night and Thursday evening, (so full of lies that most TV stations cut away from it), if you only counted the ‘legal votes’, he had won and won by a lot. He won Georgia. He won Arizona, He won Pennsylvania. He won North Carolina. Which means that he won the Election. Apart from demonstrating a somewhat flawed view of how democracy actually works, there remains the mystery of how the Republican Party did so well in the Senate and House Races. Did the dead people and the non residents and the corrupt Democrat administrations, some of whom are not actually Democrats, and the election officials, and Big Money, Big Media and Big Tech, all vote for Republican Senators and Congresspersons, but not for Trumpashenko? It is indeed a mystery and one that will now occupy the Courts for some time. If only Presidents Kim Jon Un, Putin and Lukashenko had sent observers…..

At the time of writing, it looks as though Biden will win, although this is by no means certain. It is all so close, and the world, groggy with incredulity and lack of sleep, has become expert on the voting patterns of Broward County and other places no-one had ever heard of. But whoever wins, two things are certain. First, the result is an absolutely terrible indictment of the United States electorate, with 68 million people voting for this lying, corrupt, ignorant, narcissist. And second, Trump will not go quietly. But that is next week’s blog.

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial slurry with singer Lady Gaga, supporting Joe Biden at a rally in Pittsburgh, wearing Balmain.

Balmain is all about silly shoulders this season, as we saw on Rosalía last week.  It is as if Gaga is sitting on a high -backed chair. 

It should also be observed that (i) the fit is, ahem, somewhat tight around the crotch and (ii) given that Joe Biden was appealing to working class Americans, appearing in $$$$$$$$ worth of silly designer denim might well be thought to have been a little inappropriate.

Next up, we have singer Rihanna, wearing Chrome Hearts.

 

It is not just the visible bra, it is the  bowel-prodding ugliness of the ensemble, which seems to have been inspired by the IRA hunger-strikers in Northern Ireland in the 1970’s with their dirty-cell protest. Why this would be Rihanna’s outfit of choice, WTF cannot say.

Here is Disney actress and singer Sofia Carson in Gucci. She looks about 14 but she is in fact 27.


And because she is 27, she is too old to be wearing this ridiculous ensemble with its shrunken trewsies, last seen on Catholic convent schoolgirls in those movies where sadistic nuns beat the shit out of them…..  

And hallo again to a firm friend of this blog, Lewis Hamilton, walking his dog Roscoe. Lewis is wearing Levis x Heron Preston. Roscoe is wearing Roscoe.

Roscoe looks disgusted, as well he should, because his owner is parading about dressed as a raspberry ice cream. And there is something deeply disturbing about the fit of those trousers.

We travel to the New York set of Dancing with the Stars where we encounter model Tyra Banks wearing Nicole and Felicia. 

This ensemble appears to have inspired by an automated cattle cleaning brush…… 

And finally, we welcome rapper Cardi B wearing JLuxLabel. She is standing by a new Rolls Royce, her birthday from her husband, rapper Offset. 

That skirt is not a skirt. Not even at all. Even on the runway, on a skinny  model, it was not a skirt. It does not even approximate a skirt. If a pumpkin in fuck-me sandals and a clashing handbag went to a Halloween party as a Minge Moment, this is what it would look like.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Daniel from Stevenage, who could not be more enraged by the piss-poor performance of pollsters in the US Election. And Daniel is entitled to be enraged because this was another wretched cock-up from these clowns, whose analytical forecasts have been so wrong, so often. They cocked up Brexit. They cocked up the US Election in 2016. They told you that Theresa May was going to romp home in 2018. And they told you that Joe Biden was going to win in a landslide. None of which came to pass. 

Daniel takes the view that the trade of pollster should go the way of sending kiddies up chimneys, i.e. they are obsolete and ridiculous. He says that you might as well read the tealeaves. And he is right. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do not forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments – there were some good ones last week, which soothed WTF’s troubled spirits. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good, be careful, and keep washing your hands! x

 

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2 Responses to WTF Election Special

  1. Joyce says:

    Just the tonic we need at the end of a grueling week!
    The description of Cardi B is simply brilliant. Thanks for the laughs. Hopefully, we don’t have too long to wait until the rancid tub of lard is the big fat LOSER!

  2. quixote says:

    Rancid tub of lard has been loaded onto the dumpster. Nothing left but the hauling away. Which is going to take forEVER. Oh well. The USA is doing its best in so many ways to show how thoroughly it’s rooted in 1820.

    There’s something I don’t understand: the truly jawdroppingly hideous and expensive clothes are actually designed by somebody. They attach their names to these things. What’s up with that? How do they stay in business? Or is the lifespan of design houses measured in minutes?

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