wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Last weekend WTF turned into Charles Bronson and started trolling the trolls.  Like a number of similarly appalled citizens, male and female, she was enraged by the vicious nastiness of the Twitter troll  attacks on Marion Bartoli who (in what turned out to be a very one-sided match) beat Sabine Lisicki in the Wimbledon Ladies Final. The troll view was not just that Marion was fat (she isn’t but so what if she were) and ugly (ditto) but that these attributes meant that she didn’t deserve to win. WTF had previously no idea that pulchritude was a pre-condition for winning a tennis match and had naïvely assumed that all you had to do was to get more sets than your opponent. However, according to a legion of pustular young men with a minimal IQ and a dodgy grasp of spelling, WTF had got that one wrong. Marion must be mortified that  some little twat with 2 GCSE’s and a Gareth Bale poster will not be giving her one on his single bed in the  malodorous back bedroom of mum and dad’s house but she is made of stern stuff and will get over it. Not that these type of comments all came from males. Girls and women also opined that Marion did not deserve to win because of how she looked, which was even more depressing. 

Far worse though were the tweets revealing hatred and contempt for women like “she wouldn’t even get raped let alone fucked” and the frequent use of the words “whore” and  “c**t”. Not to mention the charmer from Scotland who wanted to “smash the wee fat cow” because she was irritating him. Which is why, instead of enjoying a sunny afternoon in the garden, WTF, in common with many others, spent hours trying to get the trolls to see the error of their ways.  (There was also some correspondence with non-trolls who stuck up for their troll friends, but WTF can’t be bothered to go into all that here). We would have had more chance of taking a game off Ms Bartoli (who did not drop a set throughout the tournament) than reasoning with the trolls. In some cases, and as far as WTF can see without any sense of irony, they complained that we, the troll-trolls, were picking on them. So in their thought processes, it is OK for them to say that they want to smash Marion or that she doesn’t even look good enough to merit being raped but it is wrong for us to take them to task for it. The moron by the name of Jay who chose to share his views on rape in a public forum refused to back down and kept insisting that it was a joke. At which point, WTF lost it and replied “You don’t get it do you, fuckwit? Rape isn’t funny.”  

And of course he didn’t get it and he doesn’t get it and he won’t get it because no one, not his parents, not his friends,  not his teachers, not the troll-trolls have managed to make him see that women are not put on earth for the sole purpose of giving him something nice to look at and that a woman who is very good at what she does can be good at it even if she does not look like Sabine Lisicki (who is also very good at what she does) and that, with an IQ of 175, Marion shits something more intelligent than Jay and all the other Jays of this world,  ignorant fools tapping on their smartphones and thinking that they are funny and clever and superior to mere women, even the ones who look like Sabine Lisicki. There is now, more than ever, an institutionalised chauvinism and disrespect against women. 

And what an example John Inverdale set for them. When the National Broadcaster employs someone who talks about the new Wimbledon Ladies Champion as “not a looker” how is this  situation ever going to get any better? It is time for John to get his P45…. The trouble is that with the BBC’s insane compensation culture, he’ll make a mint out of it. And then end up on Talksport.

To happier matters. The dream came true and Andy Murray triumphed with Call Me Dave and Co clambering on the bandwagon and dropping his name at every opportunity. Meanwhile, it is said that history repeats itself once as tragedy and twice as farce and here is Sir Cliff Richard  on Wimbledon Men’s Finals Day proving the truth of that adage.

On Men’s Final’s Day 2012, Sir Cliff pitched up in the Royal Box wearing this vile Union Jack jacket whereupon the Nation rose up as one and gave it the nostril. Undeterred, Sir Cliff not only hung onto it but turned up wearing it again this year. And compounded the offence with his little silver shoes like the Tin Man going tap dancing.

For our minge moment of the week, we find ourselves at Ibiza airport and Tulisa arriving for her umpteenth holiday of the year.

Leggings should not be a substitute for trousers. Leggings show your camel-toe. Camel-toes should not be paraded through airports, particularly when teamed with a crop-top, Louboutins and a tan more orange than a tangelo.  Air travel is already stressful enough. You queue for hours to check in your luggage, then you queue for hours to go through the scanner thing where sadists in uniform make you strip down to your scanties and then you queue to get onto the plane, only to be crammed into a seat the size of a shoebox and force-fed overpriced, E-Number-packed  snackettes at £5 a throw-up. If the public wants to see some camel-toe, they can go to the Zoo or Sharm-el-Sheikh.

We have not featured über-fashionista Daphne Guinness here for a while. Here she is at the Private View of Ronnie Wood’s  paintings this week in London. Ronnie, like the Great Gatsby, was not present.

Bonkers. I think that is the mot juste. Bonkers. The leather bra/gun holster is deeply weird and makes one fearful that Daphne is planning some vigilante action of her own. Not that she will get very far tottering on those heels…. 

Now this is just silly, but then TOWIE’s Joey Essex is silly.

Joey looks as if he is auditioning for the remake of Half a Sixpence, a shockingly bad musical starring cheeky chappy Tommy Steele and based, improbably, on HG Wells’ Mr Kipps. If it ever pops up on TV, turn over. The garish checks and bow-tie combo are bad enough, Heaven knows,  but the rolled up trousers over hobnob boots and the coiffed hair are truly ridiculous.

WTF omits no opportunity to have a go at Julien Macdonald and this is why. Look what he has done to lovely Hayley Atwell.

WTF hates peekaboo (especially peekaboo tits), see-through and visible panties (although at least Hayley is wearing some, albeit black ones) and here they are all in the one dress (which also seems a tad small for her). Sadly the whole thing just gives the impression that she is covered in bluebottles.

Honestly, WTF has tried to avoid subjecting Readers to more of teenager Courtney Stodden,18, and husband Doug Hutchison, 53, but when you see the next photograph, you will understand…..

Courtney has recently had her tits enlarged to DDs to make her “feel more of a woman”. Doug will definitely be feeling more of Courtney. The combination of the gigantic globes perched on a tiny frame and her penchant for hideous platform footwear renders the fact that she can walk at all a miracle of modern engineering.  The disturbing thing is that Doug seems to have created his own perambulating blow-up sex doll and has happily paraded her in a series of ever-tinier “outfits” until we have reached the point when she isn’t wearing anything much at all. Both Doug and Courtney purport to be God-fearing Christians but two facts remain irrefutable. Doug looks seedy as fuck. And his wife  is wearing a doily. In public. There is probably more fabric in the hat..

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep posting your comments and we will meet again next week. Be good x