WTF Do As I Say Special

Hallo Readers

Under the headline “physician heal thyself”, WTF occasionally features fashion designers dressed in their own apparel and looking absolutely ghastly. It was Jesus who said it unto whomever He said it unto, and He was right on the money. WTF is the daughter of a GP and can attest to the fact that he was absolutely useless at looking after his health, as evidenced by the fact that he smoked like a chimney for over 50 years and was prone to a slug or two of whisky. Now it seems that this degree of neglect has affected not just doctors but the Secretary of State for Health.

Sajid Javid appeared as a press conference in Downing St on Wednesday, airily advising the  Public to make an effort to avoid the ever-increasing growth of covid cases. They should get vaccinated, he said, and they should wear masks in public places. It should be remembered that, like his predecessor in the post Matt Hancock, Javid succumbed to Covid although in his case he had been double vaccinated.  Yet on Monday, when the Parliament was crammed with MPs paying tribute to the late Sir David Amess, there was not a mask to be seen on the Tory benches. When Winston Churchill designed the new House of Commons chamber after the Second World War, the original having been bombed by the Germans, he deliberately wanted it to be small and intimate. The Tory MPs crowded together certainly had every opportunity to sample their neighbours’ viral load. When this was pointed out after Javid’s “do as I say, not do as I do” performance, Jacob Rees-Mogg, that sad excuse for a human being, explained the Tory snuggling. They were all very matey with each other and so they trusted each other, he said, thus proving the old adage that it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re stupid than to open it and prove that you are.

Mask wearing is not being observed by a vast number of people who clearly do not give a stuff about the wellbeing of their friends and neighbours. The London Tube purports to operate a mandatory policy of mask wearing but you would never know it. Trains are no better. People have their masks under their nose (Why do people do that? It is so damn dumb) or they don’t have them on at all. The degree of ignorance and indifference is stupefying. In the Second World War, people pulled together and helped each other out, but those days have long since melted away and instead we are stuck fast in the era of “Fuck You Jack, I’m alright.” This could be seen in the way that people rushed out at the beginning of the pandemic to fill their cupboards with bog roll, middle-aged women engaged in Mortal Kombat over the last packet of super-soft, caress-your-bum, aloe-vera-soaked Andrex. That principle has continued unabated, whether it is scummy neighbours blasting their music at full volume or people staring at you defiantly on the bus whilst breathing all over you. Meanwhile, the Prime Minister and his advisors flaunted the rules of lockdown, the previous Health Secretary was giving one to his advisor, and others were ensuring that their mates cleaned up on contracts to produce PPE and hand sanitiser. Tories are quick to shout about family values and levelling up. But it now appears to be no longer de rigeur actually to set an example, so it is perhaps unsurprising nobody else can be bothered to do the right thing.


We start our review of the week’s sartorial scruff with actor Tiffany Haddish wearing Minge Maestro Alexandre Vauthier.

MINGE MOMENT!!!!!  Any shorter and this bandage skirt could be giving  us the full gynaecological experience.Yurgle.Next up, we have dancer Julianne Hough wearing ALIÉTTE.

She is wearing an onion bag.  That is all.

We are in London at the premiere of Dune where we encounter actor Jason Mamoa wearing Henry Poole & Co. 

Jason is what the Aussies call ‘a big unit’ and he undoubtedly has a striking presence. There is also a great deal of good about the jacket, which is a gorgeous colour with elegant embroidery on the sleeves. BUT, as Kendal Roy would say…the jacket is too short (for Jason, anyway), he is wearing a waistcoat without a shirt, exposing a lot of hairy chest, and what the hell is happening with those trewsies – they are billowing and then sighing around his BARE ankles.

Actor Emma Watson is wearing Harris Reed at a recycled environment event.

Oh Lord. Make your mind up.

Next up, we have influencer Bella Porch wearing who the hell knows what this is supposed to be.

Miss Haversham goes slithery…..

This is producer Taika Wahtiti,  Rita Ora’s beau, at the premiere of Eternals, wearing Thom Browne.

He is a handsome man, but he looks like an unfinished suit on a tailor’s dummy. And what is this nonsense with too-short-jackets? Not to mention too-short trewsies and brogues without socks….

And finally we have internet person and former bunny girl Sarah Longbottom.

Sarah is the lovechild of a medieval serving wench and an oilskin tablecloth. And please put those nipples away…….

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Leslie from Lisson Grove who says, “There has been a proliferation of shops trying to zussh themselves up by tacking plastic flowers around the doors and windows. It was great when the first one appeared in Sloane Square but they used real flowers and foliage, the effect was lovely”. 

“The Johnnie come latelys are not so lovely, lacking the ‘handbag’ of the Sloane Square brigade their efforts with plastic flowers are, and smell, hideous. Please make them stop, roll on a high wind!” Yup. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Send in your suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your very top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.










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1 Response to WTF Do As I Say Special

  1. quixote
    quixote says:

    Speaking of silly attitudes to the pandemic, here’s mine. True story. When this thing first started, December 2019 the news started seeping out, I wasn’t worried. “It’s a disease,” I thought. “We figure out transmission routes and do what’s needed to stop them. We’ve known about the germ theory of disease for hundreds of years. We know how to deal with this.”

    I still laugh hysterically when I think about that.

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