Hello, and very nice to meet you,

I have been sending similar features out by email to my friends, and several have been rash enough to suggest that the wider world may find my comments entertaining. So here I am. Happy reading…….

A few weeks ago one of my aforementioned friends suggested that a few of the people featured here were doing it on purpose to get into wtffashionshark,  and looking at Heather Morris off Glee you have to say that the theory is not without substance.

I mean, look at her. She is wearing a long-line bra OVER A TEE SHIRT and a horrible garish patterned thing that looks for the all the world as if it is made out of Bri Nylon and cut-out beige platform booties with black socks. And if all that wasn’t bad enough (and it is, and then some) there is the stupid little skinny belt. Utterly and completely shocking.

Next up – Jerry Hall.

For some reason Jerry was at the National Soap Awards, which is always a rich source of WTF-ing. From the neck up, Jerry looks fine. But she is sporting cantilevered tits, a skirt straining across her stomach and a fishnet tights/open-toed sandals combo which is quite the nastiest thing WTF has seen for some time.

WTF usually eschews soap stars generally, especially minor ones, but some things cannot go unremarked upon, and this is one of them. Here is Preeya Kalidas off East Enders.

What was the thought process Preeya went through when someone presented her with a dress 3 sizes too small in the bosom department? Did she think, “I am going to say no to this one, because my tits look like a couple of puppies on the run from Crufts?” or perhaps “Lovely dress, great colour, but I need a bigger size and/or a bra?” or “What will happen when I bend forward to pick up my canapé ?” No, apparently she thought “OK I will go out in public like this and everyone will think oh wow, how lovely Preeya looks!”. I presume that bag is so large because it is carrying massive quantities of industrial strength tit tape. BTW  is it just WTF or does Preeya’s head looks like it has been transposed from someone else’s body and stuck on at a funny angle? It looks nearly as precariously balanced as her embonpoint.

This is a sort of entry for a regular feature, Stylists Who Should Have Gone to Specsavers, in that Kelly Osbourne pontificates on prime time television about what other people are wearing, and then appears in public dressed like this.

Floral trousers and pyjamas may be in, but these are just rank, fashioned out of an old offcut of Laura Ashley oh-so-cutesy fabric. Interesting notion to match the trousers with her hair…..not.

Finally, imagine you are invited to the White House for a formal dinner. You are an actress and have the pick of frocks. And you choose this. Meet Rosario Dawson

WTF is not against a touch of cleavage but this is not cleavage. This appears to be two giant melons gift -wrapped in sparkly green tinfoil. AT THE WHITE HOUSE! AT A FORMAL DINNER! WTF?