WTF Folly Special

Hallo Readers,

Last week, you hardly dared to pop into the loo for fear of missing the latest debacle. In fact it was better to stay seated because the constant U-turns, and U-turns on the U-turns, idiocies and mis-judgments make your head spin worse than taking a turn on an out-of-control carousel after one spliff too many. Last Friday, Liz Truss sacked her Chancellor for doing everything she had asked him to do. The mini-budget had gone badly, to say the least, so one of them had to go and it was not going to be her. There is a reason why no one else had attempted to impose a budget of preserving bankers’ bonuses in full, cutting taxes for the rich and borrowing loads to pay for it. Like rarely performed Shakespeare plays, which are rubbish, it is because the whole idea was bonkers. But it is the sort of thing you do when you have a Cabinet stuffed with headbangers, ideologues and arselickers, and when the main qualification for the role is that I Love Liz. On Monday, she appointed Jeremy Hunt as the new Chancellor, having disinterred him from the grave of his political career, while the Health Secretary admitted that she handed out her leftover antibiotics to friends and family. On Tuesday, Truss sat behind Hunt as he tore up such parts of her Budget she had not already jettisoned herself. On Wednesday, Truss insisted that she was staying on, Cruella de Braverman resigned, to be replaced by the oleaginous Grant Shapps, Tory MPs had a physical tussle in the House of Commons with Party Whips who insisted on their supporting a fracking bill in what may or may not have been a vote of confidence, depending on what time of the day you asked and whom you asked, and Wendy Morton, the Chief Whip, may or may not have resigned but nobody could be entirely sure (she hadn’t, or maybe she had and then she changed her mind). On Thursday, 10 Downing Street announced at noon that Truss was not stepping down, only for Truss to announce at 1:30 that er, she was, after only 44 days in office.

As Proverbs 26.11 tells us ‘As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly’. The Tories are yet again trudging down the path of choosing a new Prime Minister. The usual suspects are already marking out their place in the paddock. Penny Mordant, Rishi Sunak and God help us,  Cruella de Braverman, who was in office for even less time than Truss, although she lasted longer than Kamikazi Kwarteng. And now, proving that Proverbs 26.11 was bang on the money, the Tory dog may be about to return to the vomit that is Boris Johnson. Yes, you read that right. You thought you had seen the back of him but it seems that this conclusion may have been premature. The Bring Back Boris campaign is gathering momentum amongst some Members of Parliament (possibly 140 of them) and Party members alike, which only strengthens WTF’s lingering belief that Truss and Kwarteng had been put up to assume power and blow the whole thing up in weeks in order to smooth the path for Johnson’s return to power. And in Truss’s case, to get £115,000 a year by way in pension. Last week, WTF somewhat unkindly referred to Therese Coffey as the fat friend who made Truss look good. And now it seems the Truss was playing the dumb blonde version of the fat friend to make Johnson look good. And you know what, Readers? The scheme might well succeed……

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial slurry at the London Film Festival, where we happen across actor Emma Corrin wearing JW Anderson.

Yes, she is wearing a goldfish bowl in a bag…….Not only should the RSPCA be informed but also the Royal Society for the Prevention of Too-Big Shoes.

Still in London, here is actress Kate Hudson wearing a nasty dress by St Laurent to the premiere of Glass Onion – A Knives Out Sequel. 

Not only is she in danger of an imminent nip slip, which is bad, and the colours are horrible which is very bad, but Kate looks like a poor soul in the throes of incontinence, which is worse. And no, you are not getting a picture.

We are now at the screening of the series of The Peripheral and one of its starsChloe Grace Moretz, wearing Molly Goddard.

WTF is baffled. And then baffled some more. What is this even supposed to be? It is as if some Victorian bathing belle was asked to stand in at a rehearsal of Strictly Come Dancing and donned a net ballet skirt to practice the American Smooth.

Next we are at the Academy Museum Gala in Los Angeles  where a lot of people looked down right ridiculous, beginning with singer Joe Jonas and his wife, actor Sophie Turner. Both are wearing Louis Vuitton.

As will become apparent in due course, Louis Vuitton has become ever more ridiculous with Joe and Sophie serving up a matrimonial dog’s breakfast at which the hungriest street mutt would turn up its nose. She resembles Sherlock Holmes going deerstalking in lacy tights while he is dressed as a set of kinky dominos.

 

Also at the Gala and a victim of the LV nonsense is actor Alana Haim (who was fab in the excellent Licorice Pizza) wearing one of the silliest things WTF ever did see in her life.

Clearly Alana is short of closet space and so has attached her handbags to her dress as a sort of perambulating hanging storage unit, the one you buy at Lakeland for £10 and keep in your wardrobe. And she has found room for her keys as well.

And keeping up the leather dominator schtick at the same event, we have actor Ashton Sanders wearing who can even say what this is supposed to be?

Why is Ashton dressed as a Gimp doll? Just very weird.

Next, we are in New York at God’s Love We Deliver’s 2022 Golden Heart Awards (nope, me neither) where actor Lea Michele was to be found wearing Michael Kors.

WTF’s dislike of a one-armed dress on a bibrachial person is well known, and some slavering beast has taken a chunk out of the waist as well. Meanwhile.… how to put this politely? No, sod it, it can’t be put politely. Lea looks as if someone has ejaculated over her.  And no, you are not getting a picture for this one either…..

And finally to the Elle Women in Hollywood and actor Sydney Sweeney wearing Rokh.

This is an awful lot of leather – bolero peekaboo jacket, skirt AND trousers plus a pair of nonsensical tit goggles. If a sofa went to a fancy dress party as Amelia Earhart, this is what it would look like.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Liz Truss had to go and she went, so there is no separate section on It’s Got To To this week. Let us meet again Next Friday. Be good.

Posted in Boris Johnson, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Grant Shapps, Kwasi Kwarteng, London Fashion Week, Nadine Dorries, Penny Mordaunt, Politics, Rishi Sunak, Therese Coffey, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Year Zero Special

Ok Hallo Readers

Between 1976 and 1979, Cambodia was ruled by a despotic Marxist-Leninist dictator by the name of Pol Pot. During that time, Pol Pot’s regime instigated a policy of Year Zero, the idea of which was to transform the country into an agrarian socialist society where everyone had equal shares of nothing. All the usual norms were swept away. Anyone educated or dissenting or likely to cause trouble was imprisoned or murdered and many more died of starvation. After the fall of his appalling regime, he told a journalist ‘I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country’.

Watching the lunacy that is Liz Truss’s government reminded WTF of the late, unlamented dictator’s Year Zero policy. To call it chaotic is to be charitable, and WTF is not feeling charitable. In fact she is feeling pretty bloody uncharitable because this is a farce and it is growing evermore farcical. Truss is basically a principle vacuum in a bad bra, laying waste to the economy, political credibility, basic common sense and reality. Together with her Chancellor, she has managed in a matter of weeks to tank the pound, raise interest rates, frighten the life out of anybody with a pension or a mortgage and reduce Britain to an international laughing stock. Frankly, it is embarrassing. Truss is embarrassing. Chancellor Kamikwasi Kwarteng is embarrassing. The whole cabinet is embarrassing, comprising lickspittles you have either never heard of or people you have heard of or always thought were crap. Step forward Therese Coffey, literally the fat friend who is there to make Truss look good.  Step forward Cruella de Braverman, still dreaming of loading asylum seekers onto those non-existent planes to Rwanda and this week objecting to any trade deal with India on the grounds that it would allow lots of brown people into the country. Step forward Jacob Rees-Mogg, who toured the media studios on Wednesday insisting that the current economic debacle was wholly unconnected to the catastrophic mini-budget, a contention equivalent to a child with chocolate smeared around their mouth protesting vehemently they have been nowhere near the larder. And step forward human oxymoron James Cleverly, who did the rounds on Thursday insisting that the Government had a plan. We know that it has a plan. The problem is that the plan is dismal, conceived to appeal to the handful of backwoodsmen who voted her into the leadership of the party and therefore into 10 Downing Street. It was never going to work and anyone with a single brain cell knew it. Which apparently excludes both Truss and Kamikwasi.

Meanwhile, the U-turns continue apace. We have already said goodbye to the abolition of the 45 pence tax rate for higher earners. We have already bid farewell to cuts in public spending, although Truss still has time to change her mind before dinner. Now it appears she is about to ditch the cuts in corporation tax despite campaigning throughout the summer on this very promise. And it is very probable that she is going to ditch Kamikwasi as well because someone has got to be the scapegoat for this madness and Truss is not volunteering. Speaking of U-turns, Kamikwasi had to hotfoot it home early from New York as the scale of the disaster became clear, not to mention the mutinous intentions of shell-shocked Tory MPs. People have had food in the fridge for longer than this particular version of our Government. The truth is it is already long past its sell by date.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam at the Latin American Billboard Awards in Florida with Cuban singer and actress Seidy La Niña wearing Judith Cabrera. 

Whatever it is that is peeking out from underneath the sarong should not be on show and it is making WTF extremely nervous. If a bowl of custard went to a fancy dress party as a Minge Moment with a floral tit decoration, this is what it would look like. 

Also there was Colombian singer Manuel Turizo wearing Moschino.

Manuel is dressed as a sky blue spaceman in motorcycle boots. Who knows why?

To New York and the W Magazine 50th anniversary party where we find newly-single model and actress Emily Ratajkowski wearing Tory Burch.

Emily is doing that thing the Daily Mail always claims newly-separated women are doing when they appear with tits and arse hanging out, namely showing the departed chap ‘what he’s missing’. Given that they are always out, he had probably seen enough of her bits and pieces and we certainly have. This is a fishing net over very small undies. Never was the term ‘scanties’ so appropriate. Rather in the way that ‘dog bites man’ is not a headline but ‘man bites dog’ is, Emily with her tits out is not news. Give it a rest, poppet, for Gawd’s sake.

Next we are in LA where we encounter actor Jessica Biel wearing Giambattista Valli at the Children’s Hospital Gala in LA.

Jessica! What the actual fuck???? WTF hopes that you were paid a lot of money to wear this with the proceeds going to charity. You look like a loo roll doll, heavy on the bows.

Now we are in Milan (we are zipping about all over the place today) at the end of Fashion Week where we find actor Erykah Badu wearing Rick Owens.

Erykah is only 4’11”, which is presumably why she often wears that preposterous chapeau like Dr Seuss’s cat. In this case, however, it appears that she skinned the cat, used its skin as a coat, hung its balls around her neck and put on a trouser thing with furry bottoms inspired by those Cabac street sweeping machines.

Finally, this last one is bad. Not just bad, but VERY, VERY BAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. IF YOU ARE EATING YOUR BREAKFAST, STOP NOW.

Here is singer Lizzo wearing ….not enough. Ready? You won’t be…..

There is a fine line between being proud off your body and giving everyone too much of an eyeful. This crossed that line a long way back so that it can be seen only with the aid of a Jodrell Bank telescope. There is a LOT of vulva on display. There is a LOT of everything on display. And it appears that Lizzo has one of these outfits in every colour. Here she is in the yellow version…..

Lizzo. Three words. Stop it now……

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes (separately) from WTF aficionados Yvonne in Jedburgh and Cathy from Peckham and concerns the frightful rapper Kanye West.

First, West saw fit to parade about Milan (i) in a White Lives Matter sweatshirt and (ii) with the appalling right-wing, opinionated idiot Candace Owens on his arm. That is enough right there, but West then doubled down by making anti-semitic remarks on Facebook and on Twitter and has now been removed from both. You’re not well, love. You’ve Got To Go. 

 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x

Posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Kwasi Kwarteng, Liz Truss, Milan Fashion Week, Politics, Suella Braverman, Therese Coffey, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF Madhouse Special

Hallo Readers,

There is only one question dominating the nation – what the actual fuck is going on? How can this Government be so appallingly inept? How can any Prime Minister be so awful? How can a Party Conference be so disastrous? It is like watching Game of Thrones, but without the dragons – you never know when someone is going to take a swipe at someone else with their trusty sword or be defenestrated or thrown into a vat of boiling oil. There is a smell of death in the air and it is rancid. Only weeks into her tenure, Liz Truss has already performed more U-Turns than an Uber driver without a sat nav. As Tories gathered in Birmingham last weekend to anoint their new Leader, Truss and her ever-so-smooth Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng toured the studios assuring us that the 45% tax rate would be abolished and that the Government would be sticking to its guns; this despite the pound toppling off a cliff and interest rates soaring. By Monday morning, Truss had changed her mind, leaving Kwarteng to get out the Tippex and change parts of his keynote speech, which he then had to deliver that afternoon, gurning and giggling, to a largely silent auditorium, many of the delegates looking as though as they had been shot through with novocaine. By Tuesday, Ministers were fighting like ferrets in a sack, some condemning the U-turn and others applauding it, some condemning Truss’s refusal to confirm that benefits would rise to keep pace with inflation and others condemning the ones who were doing the condemning. Meanwhile the Home Secretary, Cruella de Braverman, was mourning her inability to shove asylum seekers onto a one way flight to Rwanda, something which she disclosed was her ‘dream’. Instead she has come up with a new notion, namely deporting anyone who dares to seek asylum on the grounds that they were illegal immigrants, although because they are seeking asylum, they are not illegal immigrants. You get the feeling that if Cruella could chuck all migrants into the sea, weighed down with copies of the Human Rights Act, she would be up for it. It takes a lot to make her predecessor look good, but Cruella is managing to make Priti Patel look like Mother Teresa.

On Wednesday, Truss addressed the faithful, the ones who had voted her in only weeks earlier. It was painful. Many would gladly have undergone hours of root canal treatment in preference to listening to her monotonous assaults upon our liberties, coupled with inspirational anecdotes about her childhood, none of which appear to have been actually true. In summary, spurred on by the misery she saw around her as a teenager (when the Tories were in power, a fact she conveniently chose to overlook), she vowed to make Britain a better place and so came into politics. Omitting the bits where she joined the Liberal Democrats, campaigned to abolish the Monarchy and was an opponent of Brexit, doubtless cut only for reasons of time, she informed us that the only answer to our present malaise (unrelated of course to the dozen years of Tory Government, of which she has been a part), was Growth, Growth, Growth and that anyone who disagreed with her was part of an ‘Anti-Growth Coalition’ made-up of lefties, the Metropolitan Elite, the Twitterati, anyone who lives in North London, anyone who makes or listens to podcasts and the BBC. One was only surprised that she left out George Soros and Bill Gates. And then, her speech over, she ran to the Prime Ministerial limo as if she were Dame Kelly Holmes and sped back to London to continue cocking everything up. Does she have weeks? Months? Who can say? But just watching her fills you with both astonishment and a tinge of guilt at wanting more. Centuries ago, people used to visit madhouses for their entertainment. Now you can just sit and watch it live on the telly instead….

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam at Paris Fashion Week with young cosmetics billionaire and celebritee Kylie Jenner wearing Dilara Findikoglu. 

Kylie seems to have encountered Freddy Kruger in the bathroom, where he tried to have his evil way with her, ripping her dress to shreds and drawing blood – lots of blood – before she managed to escape. Yurgle.

Next we have perennial favourite, actor Jared Leto wearing – wait for it -Gucci. Does he even own togs by any other designer?

Has he matched his hair to his boots or his boots to his hair? He looks like a prat either way, but most of all, he resembles a leather-clad Tinky Winky in a wig moonlighting as a kinky chauffeur.

Over to Loewe, where we find model Karlie Kloss wearing one of its  creations. 

Well, this gives a new meaning to the phrase Minge Moment. And Mammary Molestation. Karlie is being groped by her own dress, which to be frank is in very bad taste. Did you know that Karlie is married to the brother of (barely) Human Ken Doll Jared Kushner, which means that #NepotismBarbie Ivanka Trump is her sister-in-law? And yet she manages to smile……

Also there was model and skateboarder Evan Mock. You can see who he’s wearing.

Evan is a silly little person and his preppy attire makes him look even sillier, like an extra on Return of the Nerds.

And here is fashionista Laura Santo Domingo wearing who can even say what this is?

Now we are into the Brave New World of cycling, upcyling and recycling, Laura, despite being very rich and married to someone even richer, has decided to turn her wastepaper bin into a jacket with tit pockets and wear it over a pair of flared dungarees. She may be saving the Planet but she looks ridiculous.

It gets worse. Here is professional son Jaden Smith wearing Louis Vuitton.

If a stained glass window had sex with a centurion while wrapped in a sack, this is what their offspring would look like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally, away from Paris Fashion Week, we find comedian Megan Stalter,  host of the Power of Women Awards, wearing Lucille Reynolds. 

Oh dear. Oh very dear. Surely the Power of Women should stop you from flashing your sizeable, non-matching smalls under some lavender bubblewrap bedecked with bows? Get a grip, woman.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington, who hates Cruella de Braverman (see above) and also hates her dress sense and hates that smug expression even more. 

One word to Cruella – SPANX. Two more. Go away. Four more words. She’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x

Posted in asylum, Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Ivanka Trump, Kwasi Kwarteng, Liz Truss, Paris Fashion Week, Politics, Priti Patel, racism, refugees, Suella Braverman, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Growth Special

Hallo Readers, 

One week into Donald Trump’s presidency, WTF wrote ‘Trump’s election has not turned out to be as bad as she thought. It is much worse’. Similarly, while WTF knew that Liz Truss’s tenure as Prime Minister would be a shitshow with added shit, the first few weeks have been much worse than even she could ever have imagined. Last Friday, Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng unveiled a mini budget in which he threw money around like a drunken sailor, cutting taxes, slashing National Insurance and removing the cap from bankers’ bonuses with the purported  aim of encouraging growth. Sadly, the only things that appears to have grown are (i) the number of Tory MPs who have realised that it would have been better to have Jacob Rees Mogg’s nanny running the show instead and (ii) the size of everyone’s mortgage and (iii) the Nation’s anxiety levels. The markets plunged almost before the Chancellor had sat down with the pound in freefall. Had this been the Eurovision Song Contest, the representatives from the other participating countries would have been compelled to awarded nul points, that is if they were able to stop laughing long enough to enunciate the scores. By the end of the weekend, the pound hit 1.03 to the dollar, a record low, before ‘rallying’ to 1.07. Since this was all apparently part of her Master Plan, one would have thought that Truss would have been out and about all weekend soothing the nation’s fevered brow. Instead, she disappeared from sight and stayed there. We got used to Boris Johnson holing up in Chequers at the first sight of trouble, which meant that he was there a lot, but in Johnson’s case we came to welcome his absences. In Truss’s case, seeing that our savings were disappearing down the plug hole at the rate of knots, some sort of explanation and reassurance was the very least we could expect, but like so much else about Truss, she fell short. It was not until Thursday that our valiant leader emerged from wherever she had been hiding and told us in her I-speak-your-weight-machine delivery that the budget was right, everyone else was wrong and we were now on the road to recovery, albeit with previously undisclosed stopovers at enormous pain, citizens defaulting upon their mortgage if they already had one or failing to get one if they did not, and the price of everything going up. 40% of mortgage products have been withdrawn from the market leaving buyers floundering, facing the choice of no mortgage or one at a zillion percentage per annum.

By the end of the week WTF was beginning to wonder whether this was all not some in fact some pre-planned act of sabotage with Truss and Kamikwarteng screwing everything up with maximum prejudice in order to facilitate the return of Boris Johnson in exchange for a house full of Lulu Lytle gold wallpaper and garish sofas, a peerage and a lifetime subscription to Hotel Chocolat. Because the alternative explanation is that, despite a fistful of degrees and qualifications from the world’s top universities, they have either taken leave of such senses they may once have possessed or are simply taking the piss. Except that it is not even remotely funny. Fasten your seat belts. Have your sickbag handy, and an extra one just in case. Your flight to Planet Growth is not just going to be bumpy; somebody appears to have removed the engine from the plane.

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We start our review of the week’s clothing cobblers with our own racing champ, Sir Lewis Hamilton, in a lime green boilersuit.

Bless him, he just can’t help himself? He has this pathological compulsion to look like a prat. or in this case, like a pastel porno plumber.

Next we are in Zurich where we encounter actor Diane Kruger wearing Alexander McQueen.

WTF can only assume that the black arm bands are in mourning for the bra top like a makeshift bandage applied in an emergency hospital unit by a drunken doctor, and for the preposterous length of the trousers.

And now we are at NYFW with actor Julia Fox dressed as a mermaid at the Parsons MFA student fashion show.

We have all seen Julia’s abs and pelvis, so she is now giving us another body part, to whit her breasts which are draped with some primordial slimy seaweed and a tail which is about to turn into an imminent Minge Moment.

Next up, we have actor Jurnee Smollett wearing Alexandre Vauthier.

WTF is all for people leaving a little room in their clothes, but there is roomy and there is ballroomy. This getup makes June look positively square,  like an IKEA superstore.

Meet actor Evan Mock from Gossip Girl wearing who can even say what.

Why does he have a load of arse paper trailing from his trewsies?

 

We are at the Sustainable Fashion Awards in Milan with fashionista Olivia Palermo wearing Ermanno Scervino.


Tits ahoy!! And very squished tits at that. Why would you wear a chainmail dress? After you take it off, your body would resemble an intricately patterned, char-grilled tuna steak.

To Paris Fashion Week and celebritee and cosmetics billionaire, Kylie Jenner, wearing Balmain.

If a blowup sex doll with very improbable looking tits went to a fancy dress party as a crocheted lampshade, this is what it would look like. And there is every possibility that her breasts are about to make a break for the border.

And finally here are actor Megan Fox and her fiancé, musician Machine Gun Kelly out and about in Paris.

Not so much a case of a sight for sore eyes as a sight to make you wish you could dig your own eyes out with a teaspoon. She looks like a cut-price Kim Kardashian while he looks like the lovechild of Mrs Doubtfire and Abby Cadabby.

 

OK Readers that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in your comments and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go (not time for that this week, sorry). Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.

 

Posted in Boris Johnson, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Kwasi Kwarteng, Liz Truss, Politics, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Liz Special

Hallo Readers,

 No sooner had the new Prime Minister Liz Truss unpacked her dismal array of wash’n’wear dresses in the Master Bedroom of 11 Downing Street than Her Majesty the Queen Shuffled off this mortal coil. This meant that all political dispute was suspended for the 10 day period of official mourning. While the downside of this was that the Nation had to put up with non-stop wall-to-wall Royal Verbiage from obsequious black-clad courtiers, so-called experts, has-beens, never-weres and nonentities, the upside was that we were given a respite from bloviating politicians evading the important questions of what, if anything, the Government intended to do to solve the various crises which we face; for example, that the cost of living has soared, gas and electricity bills have quadrupled and you have more chance of taking tea with Elvis Presley than catching a glimpse of your GP or dentist. But after Her Majesty was interred on Monday, political life resumed and it became clear that Truss was sailing full steam ahead into the horizons of tax cuts, persecution of those who do not or cannot work full time, fracking and platitudes. On Wednesday, Jacob Rees Mogg, now ludicrously Secretary of State for Business, suggested that those people who opposed fracking were in the pay of the Russians. This went down like a cup of cold sick with backbench Tory MPs, who now have to explain to their constituents why the earlier promise that no fracking would take place without their consent is no longer operative.  On Thursday, Therese Coffey launched her new plan for the NHS, which is basically to overload chemists and shame doctors into doing longer hours. There does not appear to be any additional money, particularly because on Friday, Chancellor Kwazi Kwarteng intends to repeal the raise in National Insurance implemented only months earlier and to allow companies and rich people to keep more of their money. In particular, the Chancellor will go the extra mile for those in society who really need his help and who have been struggling to make ends meet in this age of growing austerity. No, not those on a low income. Bankers whose bonuses have been capped. And if that sounds deranged, go onto Google and witness Kwarteng’s extraordinary performance in the pews at Westminster Abbey on Monday, where he wriggled about like a man suffering from St Vitus dance and appeared to laugh uproariously to himself up for no reason. Even Suella Braverman was appalled. If an ordinary person had behaved like that in public, the men in white coats would have been called. As long as you were prepared to wait 12 hours or more for them to appear.

 As for Truss, she went from the Abbey straight to the UN in New York to continue hobnobbing with the world’s leaders. Not that most of them probably knew who she was. During Monday’s obsequies, the commentator from Australian television failed to recognise her and described her as a minor Royal. Were that the case, at least she would have been better dressed. Even before landing  in the Big Apple, Truss was forced to admit that the chances of a trade deal with the US in the near or further-away future was on the unlikely side of impossible, Joe Biden and Congress being of the view that if Britain was going to renege on the Good Friday Agreement, it did not deserve, and would not get, a deal, not even of any kind. Of course those people who made this point and opposed Brexit during the 2016 Referendum, including a certain Liz Truss, were branded as purveyors of Project Fear. Except that what they said was true. Who knew? Answer – anyone with a brain.

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We start our review of the week’s wanky wear with Liz Truss wearing Reiss at Queen Elizabeth’s funeral.

In the same way as she committed acts of grievous bodily harm upon the King James Bible in her “reading” during the ceremony (a stuffed parrot would have given it more welly), Truss manages to suck the life out of anything she wears, which is always cheap-looking, ill-fitting, unflattering and boring as fuck, the sartorial equivalent of supermarket own-brand Ovaltine. As for the hat, it looks like someone immolated a pie and then put it on her head. Epic fail. Get the woman a stylist – STAT.

Also present were the Former Guy, Boris Johnson and his present wife Carrie Johnson. She is wearing a (rented) dress by Karen Millen, for which she paid £7, and a handbag worth over £2,500.

Here is a WTF rule. Tit activity does not belong at a funeral. Not even at all. Carrie Antoinette seems to be channelling the Gruesome Twosome Melania and Ivanka Trump in their Sicilian Widows garb when they met (a very unimpressed) Pope Francis in May 2017. Her husband  looks his usual repulsively dishevelled state, like an unmade bed with bugs in the mattress.

To New York Fashion Week where an array of horror awaited, beginning with singer Kanye West wearing whatever.

Oh Gawd. He looks as if he spent the afternoon washing trucks…

Next we have singer RAYE wearing Laquan Smith.

Yurgle.  If a labial elf went to a fancy dress party as a floozy, this is what it would look like.

And here is singer Madonna out and about in New York with a person young enough to be her grandson..

Quite apart from the fact that she resembles a prawn cocktail whose jeans have been through the shredder, Mads’ face evidences that there has been interference with the workings of nature. WTF has seen more movement in the Elgin Marbles.

He’s back! It’s actor Jared Leto wearing Gucci.

Merlin lives! In white socks and embroidered slides.

And finally, we are at the premiere of Bros with its star actor Debra Messing wearing Christian Siriano. Deep breath now….

Debra, who is 54, seems to have gambolling in a floral meadow, having first mated with a black sheep. Which said sheep ate the flowers off her back.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Ben from Bromley who is furious about MPs, Lords and VIPs various being allowed to jump the queue to see Her Majesty’s coffin lying in state at Westminster Hall. Not only that, but they could take four mates as well. In Ben’s view, these bigwigs can fuck right off. Ordinary people had to stand in the cold for 12-14 hours in order to pay their respects, as did footballer David Beckham and actor Tilda Swinton. WTF agrees and has nothing to add save that It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Carrie Symonds, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Ivanka Trump, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Joe Biden, Kwasi Kwarteng, Liz Truss, Melania Trump, Politics, Royal Family, The Queen, Therese Coffey, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WTF End of an Era Special

Hallo Readers,

It may seem odd to be shocked by the demise of a nonagenarian but when it came it was shocking and discombobulating and terribly sad. Of course anybody born after February 1952 had never known any other sovereign, yet suddenly the radio and TV kept talking about the King and the Queen Consort and you had to keep asking yourself “who?’.  Until you remembered that the Queen had gone and that Charles, following the longest apprenticeship in history, was now the Monarch.

Whatever doubts WTF might have about the Royal Family in general, and Charles in particular, (although so far he has been splendid), she had nothing but admiration for the Queen who spent seven decades performing a job she was not born to; even when she realised that she would one day ascend the throne, after the abdication of her feckless uncle Edward VIII, she certainly did not expect her father to die in his 50s, forcing her to become Queen at the age of 25. She was brilliant at it. She exuded dignity, decency and devotion to duty and the country appreciated it. Of course she made mistakes, including a tone-deaf response to the death of Diana and an inexplicable attachment to her boorish son Andrew. But she presented a calm stability, never better demonstrated then her extraordinary speech during the Covid lockdown, which somehow made you feel as if your grandmother had put her arms around you and soothed you. Rest in peace Ma’am. You have earned it.

Given that the country has not had to mourn a monarch – or  a Mon-Ark, as CNN keeps saying – for 70 years, there has been some confusion about the proper way to go about things. The basics are there;  everyone on TV bedecked in black, the superb pageantry and the stoicism of Brits lined up from Westminster to Timbuktu waiting for a glimpse of the Royal Coffin. Yes WTF did not publish the blog last Friday, only hours after the death was announced. But was it really necessary to cancel all football matches last weekend? To cancel National Guinea Pig Awareness Week? For Center Parcs to throw holidaymakers out on the day of the Funeral, leaving them to wander about forlornly like the Israelites in the wilderness until they could reclaim their chalets the following day? (This stupid idea was ditched quite quickly and no doubt whoever thought it up will shortly be spending time with their P45). Why did the British Cyclists Association advise their members to show their respects to Her Majesty by desisting from travelling on two wheels on Monday?  And who thought it was a good idea to cancel operations on Monday leaving people who had already waited and waited and waited to wait even longer? Do you suppose that Her Majesty would have given a toss if someone were to nip out on their bicycle for a pint of milk? Do you think that His Majesty, as now is, would want someone to be deprived of surgery because he is burying his mother? Would either of them  consider it right to arrest citizens making a peaceful protest about the institution of Monarchy, which is supposed to be one of the rights on which this country is based? Let people mourn as they think fit. Let people protest as they think fit, provided that they do so lawfully. This is still a free country and long may it continue to be so under King Charles.

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We start our review of the last fortnight’s sartorial silliness with singer Meghan Thee Stallion wearing who can say what?

If a Swiss cheese went to a fancy dress party as a rainbow with tits, this is what it would look like.

Next up, we have singer Rita Ora in London wearing Ottolinger.

On the plus side, Rita is covered up. On the minus side,  there are still things dangling, only in this case blame lies at the door of Ottolinger who has decorated Rita’s trousers with random bits of string like a Hassidic Jew.

To the MTV VMAs where we encounter actor Taylor Russell wearing Balenciaga.

This very ridiculous concoction is not a pair of trousers designed for John Goodman in a fatsuit, although you would be entitled to think so. It is in fact half a long skirt  and a miniskirt at the back. But the worst bit is the slit right up the front, like a banana sliced open by a sword.

Here is another one who has decided to put her bits away and go for a new way of annoying us. WTF speaks of actor Julia Fox.  

Having exhausted peek-a-boo denim and minge-baring leather, Julia has pulled a large condom over herself and called it a dress. And clock the clingfilm boots. Yurgle.

And now to the Emmys, the US TV Awards, where we have actor Kaley Cuoco wearing Dolce & Gabbana.

Kaley’s stylist, Brad Goreski, described her as a ballerina Barbie. WTF is of the view that this is more a case of Tinkerbell with a lot of dried fruit stuck on her dress, but either way Kaley is about 25 years too old for this mullet mess.

Now this next one is officially a pity. Here is wonderful actor Julia Garner from “Ozark” wearing Gucci.

Really? WTF abhors a bare belly button almost above all things. What seems to have happened here is that some very incontinent pigeons have flown through the pelvic picture window and shat all over her velvet dress with most unfortunate consequences.

We are now at the Front Row of New York Fashion Week where we find rapper Doja Cat wearing Viktor & Rolf.

Remember WTF mentioning the concept of John Goodman in a fat suit? This is John Goodman in a fat suit blown up with helium. What??????

And finally we pop in to the Creative Emmys where we find fashionista Jonathan van Ness wearing a frock.

Look. It doesn’t fit. Anywhere. The tit pockets are empty, the dress is like something seen on a 1950’s housewife in Minnesota at the Christmas town dance and the shoes are the absolute pits. 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who was aghast  at the result of these  horrible Balenciaga flipflops. Do not adjust your eyeballs.

$640 to look like an utter pillock. This nonsense has to stop. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

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WTF Boudicca Special

Hallo Readers,

Britain have had some great female warriors. Think Boudicca, leader of the Iceni, who took on the Romans. She was described as “very tall and terrifying in appearance with a harsh voice and a piercing glare”. Think Elizabeth I, who though she did not herself take up arms, presided over mighty victories and who in her famous speech said “I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but I have the heart and stomach of a king and the king of England too…”. Now admittedly there was no television during the reign of either of those women, but one would like to think that if the then-contemporaneous versions of Andrew Neil or Nick Robinson had sought an audience with their Majesties, their request would have been granted. Of course, it is perfectly possible that either man might have had their guts and goolies removed with maximum prejudice had they overstepped the mark, but that was before the days of the Bill of Rights and other such.

Now it is 2022 and a new Elizabeth is ready to take her place at the helm. Only this one appears to lack the heart and stomach to take on either Andrew Neil or Nick Robinson, and she has refused to be interviewed as part of her campaign to become next Prime Minister. Liz Truss talks big but only when there is no chance of her being shown up. Even Rishi Sunak was put on his best behaviour by the Tory Party concerned about the optics of Cabinet colleagues tearing each other to shreds in public. Faced with the prospect of being properly probed on her policies, including whether she actually has any and, if she does, whether they will work or even make any sense, she concluded that she would be better off somewhere, anywhere, else. WTF has no brief for Sunak but at least he had the balls to explain himself and to answer questions whereas Truss did not, pulling out of the interview with Robinson only a day before it was due to take place on Tuesday on the basis that she was “too busy”. Has anyone explained to her how Prime Minister’s Questions work? Although, to be frank, a cardboard Truss would probably make far more sense at the despatch box and have a more animated delivery. With Truss, there is always the risk that she will fail to get to the end of the sentence without losing the thread and she sounds like a I-speak-your-weight machine but with less interesting information. She is a charisma-free zone, without principle (she has declined to have an ethics adviser) and, it seems, devoid of any compassion for the people she is about to govern. Her solution to the crippling utilities charges about to be unleashed upon us is to cut taxes, something unlikely to assist people who do not actually pay taxes. She may talk big, she may pose in a tank in full military gear and she may well suggest that Putin is quaking in his boots in contemplation of her impending accession. We can but conclude that someone who cannot even explain herself to a journalist in a television studio is unlikely to cut much of a figure on the world stage.  Truss is not known for listening but perhaps she chose to heed the words of Abraham Lincoln It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid then open it and remove all doubt”.

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We start our bumper review of the week’s clothing craziness with WTF perennial racing driver Lewis Hamilton out and about at the racetrack in Spa, Belgium ahead of the Grand Prix.

The weather in Europe has been decidedly warm so it is unclear why Lewis felt the need to don this autumnal ensemble like a perambulating plum and still less clear why he was wearing a tea cosy on his head and trainers with pustules. But he looks like a proper pillock.

Next we are in Venice where we meet lovely actor Jodie Turner-Smith at the Venice Film Festival wearing Gucci.

That is not a dress. That is a baby doll nightie last seen on a vintage Barbie – the one where Barbie runs a brothel. There is no call for either the fuck-me boots or the elongated baby blue washing up gloves. The sunglasses, however, are cool.

And here is proper film star Julianne Moore wearing Alaia.


WTF loves Julianne but is perplexed as to what is occurring with the tit cones, which seem to be a blend of Mickey Mouse ears and a witches’ hat.

To the MTV VMAs, always a rich source of outrage, where we come across comedian and SNL star Chloe Fineman wearing ThreeBYFOUR.

Well this one certainly got a laugh from WTF. It’s an eiderdown with straps. At least she’ll be warm.

Next we have singer Lizzo wearing a lot of Jean Paul Gaultier. 

Lizzo has come dressed as the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. Who knows why?

Now we have Canadian singer Tate McRae wearing Niné.

Betty Rubble gives the world a Minge Moment…..

Meet drag performer Kerri Colby wearing Mugler.

It is not just that Kerri is dressed as a strawberry popsicle, prompting lickage jokes aplenty. It is the preponderance of pudendum on view, like something on a screen at an undergraduate gynaecology lecture.

And we also have actor Mike Mulderrig wearing some things which are wayyyy too small.

Has Mike bulked up since purchasing these items of clothing? The buttons on his jacket are hanging on for dear life and failing to cover up a lot of moobage, while he seems to have the entire contents of his sock drawer down his trousers. Call for the Canisten!

And finally, here is rapper Lil Nas X wearing Harris Read.

Did you know that there is a condition known as trypophobia – fear of holes? WTF is currently suffering from acute trypophobia over this getup, not least because it seems to herald a horrible new phenomenon, namely Penis Peek. As for the boots, there seems to be a pair of small suitcases attached to his feet.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who was aghast  at the result of a truly horrible Balenciaga collaboration with Crocs. Do not adjust your eyeballs.

They are called Crocs Madame (Geddit? – oh never mind) and they come in a variety of colours with an 80mm heel. If you are completely raving mad they can be yours for only £450. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.

Posted in Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Liz Truss, MTV VMAs, Politics, Rishi Sunak, Uncategorized, Venice Film Festival, Worst Dressed Celebrities | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WTF Useless Lump Special

Hallo Readers,

Not long to go now. It is nearly all over, although the end cannot come soon enough. We have endured a balls-aching summer of hot air and empty promises by the two people promising to undo the mess that Britain is in, despite their having held the highest Cabinet positions. Not that you would know it as they prefer not to dwell on that bit. This week’s idiocies included Liz Truss positively salivating at the prospect of pushing the nuclear button, her admission greeted by an ecstatic round of applause from Tory voters at the hustings she was addressing. Vote Truss! Get nuked out of existence! If that isn’t a winning slogan, WTF does not know what is.

Meanwhile since his return from holiday, sightings of Boris Johnson have been rarer than hens’ teeth. He has been holed up at Chequers, enjoying the benefits of its swimming pool, tennis courts and rolling grounds and trying to work out how to steam gold wallpaper off the walls of the Downing Street flat he is soon to vacate, declining to become involved in anything that might be taken for work or to make any decisions that could assist a country becoming ever more petrified at the likely rises in fuel bills and food. However, you cannot keep a narcissist hidden forever and so it was that Johnson boarded the Government plane and headed to Ukraine to cuddle President Zelinskyy and pledge shed-loads of money to helping his fight against the Russian invaders. The fact that Johnson had previously declined to spend any public money on resolving the energy crisis, preferring to leave the decision to his successor, but yet felt able to splash the cash to help the beleagured Ukrainians, has less to do with leadership and more to do with polishing the brand, which has become a little tarnished of late, in preparation  for a life outside politics raking in the millions that await him for books, speaking engagements and who knows what directorial appointments. It is also possible that he is attracted by the idea of having a street named after him there, something wholly unlikely to happen over here. Walking with Zelinskyy through Kyiv and enjoying the adulation of cheering crowds was no doubt far more satisfying even than running around in a high viz jacket and hardhat or hobnobbing with nurses and doctors in one of the hospitals struggling following years of Tory neglect. Johnson has always been a man without shame and there was no reason to think that he would change in the dying weeks of his premiership. Nor did he.

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We start our review of the week’s clothing catastrophes with actor Ema Horvath wearing Pamela Rolland at the premiere of the latest interminable Lord of the Rings saga.

Deary me. There is more bow than dress. She looks like a giant birthday present.

Next we are in Japan, where WTF is sorry to report that Brad Pitt is continuing his run of very silly clothing while promoting his movie Bullet Train.

WTF has nothing against janitors. They do sterling work. But if you are not a janitor, WTF sees no reason to dress like one, not least when you are a mega-movie-star and your janitorial ensemble does not come from the local B&Q but instead is another dastardly creation by Haans Nicholas Mott who is taking the piss, bigly. As a result, Brad looks like the character played by Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty.

Now we have singer Dua Lipa wearing a bralet, skirt and shoes by Marc Jacobs.

That is not a bralet for an adult person. That is leftover ribbon from Ema Horvath’s parcel, and it is patently not up to its allotted task. As for the alleged boots, to call them dog ugly would be a major insult to canines. Woof.

Say hallo again to singer Justin Bieber and his wife Hayley Baldwin Bieber. Justin is wearing stuff from his own Drew House fashion line while Hayley is flashing loads of flesh, as usual, wearing Blumarine with clumpy shoes by Alexander Wang. Remarkably they are going to the same event, and it is not a Halloween party but a launch party for Kylie Jenner’s new Tequila (I know. I KNOW).

Oh please. Hayley’s little leggies look ridiculous in those shoes, as if she has been weighed down by concrete slabs prior to being ditched in the river by rough types, and the combo of short skirt and hold up stockings put appalled onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment. As for her spouse, he has been wearing stupid trousers for some years, but these are among the worst, being both bewilderingly baggy (he has to gather them when walking, like a Victorian dowager) and having little frills around the hems, like the paper things you put on the end of lamb chops to protect your fingers when eating them.

Here is lovely actor Idris Elba wearing something quite nonsensical at the premiere of BEAST.

There is original and then there is fuck-me-that’s-terrible. And this is way, way, beyond fuck-me-that’s-terrible. He looks like a dentist in a tie, only dentists do not wear ties. That said, there are many people who would love to have a filling ….

And finally, thanks to the sharp eyes of WTF aficionado Gita, we welcome back actor Nicole Kidman posing for Perfect Magazine, wearing Glenn Martens and Y/PERFECT boots.

Glenn Martens is also responsible for the Y/PERFECT line. We saw these ridiculous boots on Rihanna last week. They were grey suede and these are black patent but just as silly, like a couple of bin bags, but in fact the boots are the least of it. There is the hideous hair, the pussy pelmet that makes her look as if she is pissing bile and the horribly sexualised squat. The whole thing is an affront to dignity and so, both for the pose and the boots, WTF is combining this with her regular feature and saying IT’S GOT TO GO!! All of it.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

 

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WTF Cheney Special

Hallo Readers, 

Had anyone told WTF two years ago that she would come to extol Congresswoman Liz Cheney, WTF would have expressed considerable surprise and suggested the speaker seek immediate medical assistance. Not only is Cheney the daughter of disgusting, war-mongering, profit-seeking Dick Cheney, formerly vice president of the United States under George W Bush, but she is politically to the right of Genghis Khan, only less cuddly. However, only people who have either fallen under the spell of Donald Trump, or know that he is sociopath and a liar but are sticking with him anyway, could deny that Cheney is a hero. Last year she was number three in the Republican Party in Congress. This year, she is reviled by her colleagues and has just lost the primary to be the next Republican candidate for Congress in Wyoming. Two years ago, she received 75% of the primary vote; this week it was 25%, trounced by a Trump-worshipping harridan called Harriet Hageman who has fully embraced the Big Lie that the 2020 election was stolen and that the 45th President in fact won by “a lot”. In 2016, Hageman was involved in a fierce struggle to ensure that Trump was denied the candidacy but times change and Hageman has clearly changed with them.

So what did Liz Cheney do wrong? Did she organise an insurrection to try and deny an incoming president his victory? Did she take the Fifth Amendment 400 times in a deposition concerning her companies and her taxes? Did she store classified information in her home, and then falsely instruct her lawyers to say that it had all been returned? Funnily enough, no. That was the 45th President. Rather, she decided that law and order, truth and the Constitution were more important than parroting the party line and that somehow it mattered if the man who had put his hand on the Bible and sworn to uphold the Constitution against enemies foreign and domestic had instead encouraged civil disobedience, murderous violence and blatant lies. And in the Trump Republican Party, opposition is anathema so Cheney has lost her seat. Republicans hate her. Democrats love her. Not just because in the world of politics my enemy’s enemy is my friend, but because in the world of politics both here and in the United States, it is such a rarity to find someone willing to hold to a principle, whatever the price. The idea that Liz Truss could even identify a principle, let alone to stick by one, is risible. WTF does not agree with Cheney on anything, and notes that she supported Trump loyally throughout his presidency. But when Cheney saw Trump’s hijack of the GOP, of the critical faculties of vast swathes of Americans, and of truth, dignity, decency and democracy, she put her principles before her politics and her party. Let us applaud her. Let us hope that she continues to be a thorn in Trump’ side for as long as possible. Well done that woman.

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We start our review of the week’s wanky wear with ghastly Tory MP Esther McVey wearing something ghastly.

WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh remarked with every justification that Esther looks as if she had just popped out onto the doorstep to collect the milk. What the actual fuck is going on here? She is wearing a dressing gown over a dental nurse’s smock and white jeans crinkling like the proverbial sharpei’s bum.

Next up, pointless celebritee Nicola Peltz Beckham  wearing Fendi.


It is bad trousers week? Mind you, every week is bad trousers week in this blog. These ones are particularly bad, crafted out of an old deerstalker hat last seen on Sherlock Holmes and it seems as if the Hound of the Baskervilles has taken a sizeable bite out of the side of them. 

Meet actor Angus Cloud wearing Louis Vuitton.

That suit is more overblown that a Murano glassblower on steroids….

To the premiere of the Game of Thrones spin-off House of the Dragon and one of its stars, actor Emily Carey, wearing Prier de Soane.

First we had the Hound of the Baskervilles tearing a bit out of Mrs Beckham’s trousers and now we have a dragon fire-blasting Emily’s green satin frock. What is this sudden fashion for hip-baring? Although given a choice between hips and arse-cheeks, it is a blessed relief.

Now we are the HCA Awards in LA where we find actor Nico Santos wearing a Paul Smith suit and preposterous shoes. 

The suit is jolly, if ill-fitting, but the bag is inexcusable and also has nothing in common with the 1970s floral shirt. However, WTF’s chief disapprobation is reserved for the shoes, which look like a couple of freshly baked meringues.

Here is actor Julia Fox in LA wearing not enough.

WTF will soon to be able to stop putting Julia in the blog because at this rate of diminishing returns, there will be nothing left to show. Here she is in Minge-Moment, torn bin-bags.

And finally, we have singer and new mum Rihanna wearing preposterous boots by Y/PROJECT. If you are stark raving mad and want to throw £1600 down the toilet, these are right up your street.

WTF has seen a lot of bad boots in her time but these ones are as silly as any boots ever in the history of ever. If Nellie the Elephant went to a fancy dress party dressed as Rihanna, this is what she would look like.

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Libby who has nominated butt-ripped jeans. Like these ones worn by Kylie Jenner. 

Kylie has a shapely butt. But we still do not need to see it. And just think of those people whose arse is less shapely. Just. Stop.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.

Posted in America, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Esther McVey, Fashion, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, Politics, Uncategorized, US Election | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WTF Crisis Special

I Hallo Readers,

Last week WTF lamented the fact that nothing works in this country. Including the Prime Minister. Boris Johnson is back from his holiday this week but you would not know it. For a man who is usually gagging for a photo opportunity, he has been about as visible as Osama Bin Laden. No pics of him in hard hat and high vis jacket pretending to be Bob the Builder. No sign of him lurking in hospital wards, peering at terrified patients who cannot work out if they have died and woken up in the 7th circle of hell. Whatever it is that he is doing, it does not appear to be for the public good. Which is why, in a surprise to absolutely nobody, Downing St announced that this PM has no intention of intervening in the energy crisis, preferring to leave it to his appointed successor to take up the fight in September. His workload does not, it seems, extend to assisting or assuaging terrified citizens who have absolutely no idea how they will pay the gas bill, the electricity bill and the water bill, all of which are heading sky high. Pensioners who foresee the very real possibility of freezing to death in their own homes. Families who will have to make the choice between heating or eating. People with serious health conditions which require them to run machines which help save their lives. People on chemotherapy who overheat during the process but cannot afford to put on a fan afterwards. Army veterans, injured when fighting for their country, let down by the National Health Service in their treatment and now unable to keep themselves warm or cook themselves a meal. None of this matters to Johnson. Nor, apparently, does it matter much to the-robot-whose-batteries -are-running-down and Prime Minister in waiting, Liz Truss, to whom the idea of a profits tax is anathema. For Truss, the only thing that matters is cutting taxes so that those people who already have plenty of money to pay their bills will have even more. She also has a wizard wheeze to cut National Insurance for people who do not earn enough to pay it anyway. This is what we have to look forward  as 2022 draws to an end.

And this, Readers, is what a dozen years of Tory government has brought us. A messianic obsession with profits over people. A commitment to enriching their friends and paymasters rather than the community they were elected to serve. A failure to understand how ordinary people struggle on a daily basis. A gaping void where you would usually expect to see compassion. It just makes you feel so utterly ashamed. This is the 21st century’s version of Thatcher’s poll tax and it needs to be met with the same fury in the streets. Because if our government is indifferent to the fate of its citizens, then its citizens will have to take matters into their own hands. And that includes voting out this shower at the very earliest opportunity.

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We start our review of the week’s comical clothing with singer Katy Perry wearing a Cult Gaia dress and shoes from her own new line.

The shoes are horrible, as if she were standing on two pieces of red cardboard. Don’t give up your day job, love. Meanwhile, the sleeves on the dress are like a couple of deflated balloons.

Next, we have singer Kesha (formerly known as Ke$ha), wearing Fanci Club and what seems to be a dressing gown.

WTF was in great indignation when she saw Kesha in what appears to be a dressing gown. Then Kesha took it off and WTF hugely lamented the dressing gown, as what she saw instead was a pair of patterned tights masquerading as a dress with nothing but a tiny thong underneath, showcasing bare arse-cheeks and a globular pair of tits like a couple of melons in the moonlight. Careful now…. Nipples ahoy!

To LA where we find actor, singer and comedian Donald Glover at the launch of Beyonce’s new record, Renaissance.

Is it black knickers week? First Kesha, and then Donald. The party theme was retro. In Donald’s case this appears to mean the era of Edwardian wrestlers, namely a spangly leotard worn with preposterous boots.

And our hostess with the mostest, Beyoncé, with husband Jay-Z.

Oh please. Why does she never wear proper clothes? She is like a Michael Jackson tribute act with added tits and dangly bits.

To London, where we encounter Love Island so-called “star,” Antigoni Buxton en route to the show’s wrap party wearing (!!!!!!) Pretty Little Thing.

It is a shame that Antigoni did not wrap up rather more instead of running around coram publico in a tit-and-belly-button-baring leotard and matching “skirt”,  making her torso look like a squished face peering out of a wimple.

And finally, singer-songwriter Jesse Jo Stark and her boyfriend, singer Yungblud.

Jesse is giving us an imminent Minge Moment. As for her beau, if the Joker went to a fancy dress party as Ronald McDonald, this is what he would look like.

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington and follows on from aficionado Gita’s submission last week.  It is people walking around London wearing less than they would wear on the beach. Look it’s hot. We get it. But bare-chested men in Barnet?  No.  A bra top made from a manky scarf in Stoke Newington? NO!!!! WTF was happily consuming a schnitzel in Stoke Newington Church Street last night when she was horrified by the sight of a giant pair of knockers bouncing away as its owner sashayed along with her partner. It put WTF right off her dinner, and rightly so. Put them away, people!!!! Have compassion for your fellow citizens. It’s Got to Go

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Be good x.

 

 

 

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