wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This is the last blog until 23 December, as WTF is off abroad to escape this shitshow of a Government before she goes completely off her head. So you will have to entertain yourself until then or you can go to @WTF_EEK, if you have not ditched Twitter yet, and get the occasional horror show pic to tide you over. Be brave. WTF really, really needs this break. And on 30 December there will be the WTF Christmas Turkey Poll and it will be a doozy.

Meanwhile….

Rishi Sunak is still Prime Minister. He has lasted a whole three weeks. Which is more than you can say for Frank Spencer lookalikey ‘Sir’ Gavin Williamson, whose stay in the Cabinet was abruptly terminated this week. As nobody had the faintest idea what he was actually meant to be doing there, it is probably safe to say that the country will limp on without his ministerial talents. Williamson has the dubious distinction of having been booted out of the cabinet three times. WC Fields once observed ‘If at first you don’t succeed try again. Then quit. No good being a damn fool about it.’ The problem is that Williamson is a damn fool, combining a total lack of talent and an obnoxious personality with an overwhelming sense of his own importance. The best thing you can say about him is that at least he mixes it up a bit in giving the Prime Minister of the day reason to sack him. Theresa May booted him out as Defence Secretary for leaking. Boris Johnson dispensed with his services as Education Secretary for being completely useless, even by the inauspicious standards of that particular regime. And now Sunak has showed him the door as Minister without Portfolio for being a bully and a bounder, after he had got into a strop at being left off the guest list of the Queen’s funeral despite him being a Privy Councillor and repeatedly abused Wendy Morton, the Chief Whip under Liz Truss (remember her?), compounded by an earlier offence when he was Defence Secretary of telling a civil servant to go away and slit his throat. If only he had shown the same ferocity when dealing with Vladimir Putin, whom he famously told to’ go away and shut up’ after two Russian expatriates were poisoned in Salisbury by KGB agents. Putin must have been quaking in his boots…. at least he got the heave ho for what he had done before his appointment, which saved Sunak the trouble of doing it after he had screwed up whatever it was he was supposed to be doing. A stitch in time save nine….

The only fascinating thing about Williamson is why anybody allowed him a sniff of power. He makes Chris Grayling, that other powerhouse of failure, look like Disraeli. WTF, a confirmed arachnophobe, has no time for anyone who keeps a tarantula as a pet, a sure sign in her eyes of being an arsehole, but she would rather spend an evening cosying up to the tarantula than putting up with half an hour of Williamson’s squeaky voice, air of entitlement and absence of charm. The tone of his abusive texts to Wendy Morton shows that Williamson is still the playground bully picking on the fat boys or the kids from the one-parent family or kicking off at not being chosen for the first eleven football team. It is faintly depressing and terribly British that this nonentity was able to make any progress up the slippery pole down which he has now slid for a third time in the game of political snakes and ladders that is Westminster. Whether he will have a fourth chance at a Red Box cannot be ruled out but for now it suffices to say to him – go away and shut up.

*****************************************************************

We start our review of the week’s sartorial silliness with Rishi Sunak in terrible trousers.

Would it really be too much to ask for a Prime Minister who does not look utterly ridiculous? There is a school of thought that Sunak wears his trewsies so short to make his legs look longer, being only 5’7″; but frankly if he wants to look taller, he would look less absurd wobbling about on a pair of stilts.

To the London premiere of Wakanda Forever where we find one of its stars, actor Danai Gurira, wearing Elie Saab.

She is very beautiful and it is nice to see a normal pair of tits. Nevertheless, this is not so much a dress and more of a showgirl costume as favoured by the late lamented Josephine Baker in her pomp in Paris during the 1920s. 

That is one hell of a minge muff.

Also at the premiere was Chelsea and Engerland footballer Mason Mount wearing Burberry. Scroll down slowly…..

Blimey. You could get the whole Chelsea midfield into those trousers and still have room for the goalie. The whole thing is reminiscent of a family-sized sleeping bag. And those shoes are the pits.

Next we are at a gala at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) where the glitterati turned up to have their photos taken, including model Kendall Jenner wearing Burc Akyol.

Akyol is putting the berk into Burc while Kendall is giving us an unusual experience, namely the imminent Minge Moment from above, rather than below, courtesy of a roll of foil wrapped around her hips over a sheer top. That is bad enough, Heaven knows, but not nearly as bad as the tit ribbons and the pause button symbol on her belly button.

Another guest was actor Taron Egerton wearing something by an unnamed designer.  Good call on the designer’s part, because this is rank.

Did the unnamed designer send the wrong trousers? Or did the original ones split, necessitating a last minute change? The jacket is too small, the shirt is too large and he is wearing shoes without socks. All in all, he looks like a ring bearer at his big sister’s wedding.

And then there was singer Billie Eilish and her new boyfriend Jesse Rutherford, lead singer of The Neighbourhood, both wearing Gucci.

The young couple are ready for beddy-bye-byes. Just looking at them is enough to give you logo lassitude. And look! They are not only wearing Gucci, they are sharing Gucci, to whit a Gucci eiderdown.

Finally we are at the CFDA Awards where we encounter actor Julia Fox wearing Valerievi. Well, perhaps wearing is not quite the right word. Again, scroll down slowly.

Sigh. Why even bother with the dress? Next!

Last up is designer Vera Wang wearing herself.

Vera is 73 and looks 37, but that does not entitle her to wear a giant zipped cloche hat as a dress with a tit band and very stupid shoes. WTF used to feature a section called Physician Heal Thyself aimed at designers who wear their own shocking apparel and here are the words of the Lord Jesus made flesh…

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney who was aghast at the sight of Tory MP Rachel MacLean on Newsnight in preposterous glasses.

Look, to some extent one can understand Rachel’s choice. There are so many clowns in the Tory party that it is difficult to remember that they are supposed to be serious politicians interested in saving us from whatever. But those glasses are not so much over the top as flying through outer space. Timmy Mallett would have sneered at them. They’ve Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. And indeed for a while. WTF will be back on 23 December. Be good x