wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

So the good news is, as Cecily recorded in her diary in The Importance of Being Earnest, that the weather continues charming. The bad news is that we are hurtling towards a recession. Interest rates are the highest they have been for years. Meanwhile, following the four-fold quarterly profits made by British Gas last week, the oil companies cleaned up this week with massively increased profits amounting to billions. People are receiving new standing orders for their heating bills which are beyond ludicrous and certainly beyond affordability. And where is the Prime Minister? On holiday. Where is the Chancellor of the Exchequer? Oh holiday. God forbid these people could do their bloody job. It takes us back to last summer when Britain abandoned Afghanistan and desperate people besieged the airport, including British citizens and those promised sanctuary by Britain. And where was the Foreign Secretary? On holiday. And where was the Permanent Secretary at the Foreign Office? On holiday. Holiday is a very big thing with these people. Far bigger than attending to the needs of the citizens they claim to to represent. Considering that both Boris Johnson and Nadim Zahawi will have plenty of time on their hands in a month, one would have thought that they could have postponed the bucket and spade activities, but no.  They couldn’t.

In their absence, the next Prime Minister, Liz Truss or Rishi Sunak, is running around the country talking rubbish. Both of them continue to invent policy on the hoof in an ever desperate bid to win the hearts and minds of 150,000 tossers who have paid their subs to the Tory party. Sunak’s big idea was to punish people who do not big up Britain, whatever the hell that means. Truss’s big idea, announced one night, was to cut the pay of civil servants in the regions in order to mirror market forces. Needless to say, this idea went down like a cup of cold sick with the civil servants concerned, and was roundly mocked by one and all. By the morning, the plan was deader than a deceased dodo with advanced rigor mortis. The reason for abandoning it, according to Truss, was that it had been misrepresented by the press. WTF, somewhat naively, cannot see why a plan that had been misrepresented had to be abandoned rather than representing it properly, but then reality has long since abandoned this particular contest. As the Book of Jonah recounts, ‘And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his evil. So Jonah was exceeding glad because of the gourd… But God prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd, that it withered”. `That is policy, Truss-style. Say something stupid. Then backtrack hours later and blame somebody else. Sounds familiar? Honestly, you will hardly notice that Boris Johnson has gone…

********************************************************************

We start our review of the week’s clothing calamities with actor Brad Pitt  at the LA premiere of Bullet Train wearing Haans Nicholas Mott, designed just for him.

Haans was also responsible for the horrible linen skirt suit Brad wore for the premiere in Berlin. That one prompted WTF aficionado Quixote to ask “They made Brad Pitt look ugly? Brad Pitt? How do you even DO that?”  Brad is not ugly but why is he in a Kermit-the-frog coloured, badly-cut jacket and matching baby-rompers with a crumpled shirt and very silly trainers? This Haans is a menace. Fact.

And another of the movie’s stars, actor Zazie Beetz, wearing Acne Studios.

WTF is all for recycling but Acne has just stitched together manky denim offcuts and called it a dress. Worse, it seems to have an attached sack over her shoulder like one of the Seven Dwarves. 

Influencer Tana Mongeau was also at the premiere, wearing not enough. 

Tana has five million Instagram followers….. five million people whom she wants to influence to have their tits hanging out of a gaping tit cavern and their arses hanging out of a Minge-Moment skirt. Yurgle.

To the London premiere of Nope and one of its stars, actor Keke Palmer, wearing Valentino.

The good news. It is Valentino but it is not that dreary  shocking pink. The bad news. Some poor bird has died in vain to give her a minge muff.

Still in London, here is actor Gwendoline Christie wearing Rick Owens at another premiere, this time The Sandman.

Er…if Brienne of Tarth went to a party with a sequinned shield,  a pair of jeans and a new hairdo, this is what she would look like.

Someone else at the premiere was celebritee Tallia Storm wearing Fashion Nova (yours for only £33, reduced from £37).

Good grief. She seems to have a basset hound asleep on her person.

Next up, here is hip hop artiste Jatavia Shakara Johnson wearing an old sofa.

Have you seen those nails??? How do get ANYTHING done? How do you do up the zip on those horrendous trousers or on those foul tabi boots?

And finally, we have comedian Eddie Izzard wearing Zara.

This is not a trans thing, this is an eyeballs thing. Eddie looks like a sack of shit in this dress, which does not flatter her burgeoning midriff, not even at all. Worse, that hair adds to the impression that Eddie is moonlighting as a Nadine Dorries tribute act.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh who has brought this item to public attention. Yikes!

 There are no words. WTF has just gone veggie, It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.