wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Six more weeks of this. Six more weeks of two people you can’t stand vying with each other to replace someone else you can’t stand, with the winner being decided by 200,000 people you can’t stand and whose only qualification to make the decision is that they are members of the Governing party. The British public as a whole has no say in this farce and therefore will have one of these two numpties foisted upon them as the new Prime Minister for the next two and a half years. And if that is not enough to make you contemplate setting about yourself with a kitchen knife, WTF does not know what is.

The choice to be made by the Tory faithful brings to mind the often quoted words of Dr Johnson when he remarked ‘Sir, there is no settling the point of precedence between a louse and a flea’. As it happens, both the louse and the flea look pretty good when compared to Liz Truss, a woman who makes Theresa May look like Joan Rivers, and Rishi Sunak, aka Rish!, whose interviews exude the enthusiasm of the head prefect of a swanky public school giving the speech on Founder’s Day. The fact that both of them stuck to Boris Johnson like shit to a blanket for the past three years, supporting him in public and sitting in his Cabinet, troubles them not at all, even though Sunak at least bolted for the exit days before the curtain came down on the Johnson premiership. Truss is now claiming that she was in violent disagreement with Sunak’s economic policies but was forced to abide by collective Cabinet responsibility; she intends to cut taxes like a deranged axe-person to the tune of £30 billion, at which Sunak cannot contain his contempt and incredulity and the rest of us roll our eyes and wish we lived elsewhere.

WTF is no fan of Sunak, but he does at least have the advantage of sounding as if he knows what he is talking about. Truss, on the other hand, gives the impression that she is reading off an autocue but has forgotten her glasses. And her brain. If she does have a belief in anything, other than her determination to be Prime Minister, it has yet to become apparent as she swings from Remainer to Brexiteer, from putting up taxes to cutting taxes, from Lib Dem to Tory, from Shirley Williams to Margaret Thatcher. She also appears to have delusions of grandeur, the lovechild of the Iron Lady and Donald Trump. Listen to Truss and her achievements are indeed remarkable. She has apparently done massive trade deals. She has saved Ukraine. She is probably going to save the planet from climate change and find a cure for cancer. But actually, her achievements are unremarkable save for her progress up the slippery slope of politics, discarding any policies which proved to be unpopular or inconvenient. She sounds awful. She looks awful. She is awful. And Heaven help us, by virtue of pandering to the right wing and being a white woman rather than an incredibly rich brown man, she will probably be moving into number 10 Downing St on 5 September. Kill me now…..

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We start our review of the week’s clothing calamities in New York with the wonderful Julia Garner from Ozark, wearing Prada on her way to be interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel.

The colour does absolutely nothing for her and the belt appears to have attached itself to her person at random. The main complaint, however, is that this is another example of the nasty new phenomenon of tit bags, which we saw recently on Ashley Roberts. Frankly, WTF finds them deeply disturbing.  That is all there is to be said about tit bags. Next!

Next is singer Gwen Stefani wearing a Cult Gaia top and Dion Lee cargo pants.

The cargo pants are fine, but they seem to be worn over high-rise fishnet panties, like chaps like to show off their Calvin Klein boxer shorts over the waist of their jeans. As for the top, not only does it look as if Gwen has had a double-nipplectomy, but the design is reminiscent of a dog’s rear end.

Here is ghastly ex-Presidential daughter-in-law Lara Trump, the one married to the gormless Eric, at her mother-in-law’s funeral in New York City.

Look, New York is hot at present. And sweaty. WTF gets that, she really does. But even if you can excuse wearing a sleeveless dress to your mother-in-law’s funeral (the late Ivana Trump), put the cleavage away, love, for Gawd’s sake.  And the back is even worse…..

That slit goes all the way up to her bum! You do not flash your arse at your mother-in-law’s funeral, even if your mother-in-law is Ivana Trump. No class. None at all.

And now we have actor Karreuche Tran wearing Didu at the London premiere of NOPE.

NOPE is le mot juste. What on earth is this? WTF does not like tit pockets any more than she likes tit bags and the bits and pieces of fabric various, like J-Cloths, make Karreuche look like a patchwork doll with no feet.

Welcome back to model Naomi Campbell receiving an honorary Ph.D. from the Chancellor of UCA, Professor Bashir Makhoul. Naomi is wearing Burberry. 

Ph.D in what? Phone-throwing? Anyway, those are the most preposterous pair of trousers WTF ever did see in her life. Yurgle. Burberry seems to have been inspired by a building in Suzhou, China, called Gate of the Orient but known locally as the Pair of Trousers, (or Pair of Pants, if you are American).  

This is Victoria Secrets’ model Joy Corrigan wearing who knows what at the Poster Girl Swim Show in South Beach, Miami.

IMMINENT MINGE MOMENT!!!! IMMINENT ARSE MOMENT!!!! And, for that matter, IMMINENT TIT MOMENT!!!!

To the Paris premiere of Bullet Train with actor Joey King wearing Thom Browne.

What that label on the skirt says, Heaven knows. Perhaps it reads “Do not wear this in public or you will look like an idiot”.

And the caravanserai for Bullet Train moved on to Berlin, where we find actor Brad Pitt looking awful.

What on earth is happening here? Does Brad’s hotel not have an iron? Or better still, a minion to do the ironing? Brad claimed that he was wearing a skirt as it was airier. In which case, why is he wearing what looks like tweed and heavy hobnail boots? In short, why is he dressed as Hyacinth Bouquet from Keeping Up Appearances?

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Katie from Highgate, who sent in a pic of these leggings.  They are by Schein, or Shite as WTF prefers to call them.

Katie is not impressed. She says she came across this and “it just screamed It’s Got To Go. Leggings without the legs and a terrible Minge Moment”. She is right. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.