wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

It’s here! The coveted title of the WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2022 is up for grabs with you, Readers, voting for the winner and, if you like, adding unpleasant comments to go with your votes. We will come back to that after the rant.

You do have to worry about what is going on in the Tory party. There’s more dodginess going on than back to back episodes of Peaky Blinders. Last night, Chris Pincher MP (oh the irony), the deputy chief whip, (oh the irony), resigned his post, although not his seat, after fessing up to groping two men when pissed as a fart at the Conservative Carlton club. And it appears that this is not Mr Pincher’s first brush with controversy. In 2017 he stepped down from his then position as junior whip after being accused of  making a pass at an Olympic male swimmer (a Tory committee later exonerated him). The fact that Mr Pincher was allowed back into the fold at the Whips Office, only to fall from grace, suggests that the MP for Tamworth is indeed a bit of a pig.

Last week as WTF reported hot off the press at the time, the Tories lost two seats in by-elections both necessitated by deep dodginess on the part of the former chaps who had occupied them. In Tiverton and Honiton, Guy Parish had to resign after female MPs complained that he had been watching porn on his phone in the House of Commons Chamber while in Wakefield, a die-hard Labour seat until 2019 when the so-called Red Wall collapsed, Imran Ahmad Khan packed it in after being convicted of sexually assaulting a 15 year old boy back in 2008. He was subsequently sentenced to 18 months in the slammer. Mr. Khan is seeking to appeal his conviction but that will not change the fact that Wakefield has gone back to being red while he is now wearing prison grey and sewing mailbags. And let us not forget Charlie Elphicke, MP for Dover, who is also residing at Her Majesty’s Pleasure after a conviction for sexual assault while his wife Natalie was elected to replace him. In 2021, the Commons Committee on Standards found that she and four other MPs tried or attempted to influence senior judges in November 2020 in her husband’s sentencing appeal. The committee recommended that Elphicke and two other MPs receive a one-day suspension from Parliament and she apologised.

And all this is before you get to the alleged carrying on of Boris Johnson when Foreign Secretary and married to long-suffering wife Marina. It is alleged that he was caught in a compromising position in the Foreign Office with his now-wife Carrie Antoinette, at around the time when he was seeking to find her paid employment from the public purse. It certainly gives a new meaning to the phrase “Chief of Staff“. Not to mention “Honourable Member”. Johnson is of course the first Prime Minister to be convicted of an offence while in office, not to mention his lying, his misleading the House of Commons and God knows what other iffyness; his Home Secretary, who was found to have bullied civil servants and to have misled the House of Commons and the rest of this ghastly Government. With this shower in charge is it any wonder that the country is grinding to a halt and sinking under its own weight of shame?

Back to the Summer Stinker. There are 18 appalling fashion disasters for you to choose from. Just scroll down and vote for as of them you like all (at the same time– none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here). And you can vote as often as like by placing your mark against the person or persons named in the polling form at the bottom of there blog. Off you go! 

1. Adriana Lima, model.

Nothing wrong with being pregnant. The days when women used to either stay at home or go out wearing a small tent are long gone. But some people have gone too far the other way, including baring your bump, groin and arse like an extra in Ali Baba’s NCT Adventures.

2. Bad Bunny, rapper.

Bad Bunny went to the Met Gala dressed as a Victorian schoolmarm and looked like a total prat. 

3. Burna Boy, rapper.

There were possibly the most disturbing trousers in living memory. A monster was gnawing his crotch and that zip was a recipe for disaster.

4. Christine Quinn, Celebrity Real Estate salesperson Selling Sunset.

Christine paraded around Hollywood dressed as a pile of poo. Which is unusual, even for Los Angeles. Extra minus points for the ridiculous tights-over-shoes thing that WTF hates almost above all things.

5. Dan Stevens, actor.

Carson the butler would have been appalled at the sight of Mr Crawley, heir presumptive to Downton Abbey, wandering about in an ill-fitting technicolour-yawn coat and trewsies with clown shoes like slabs of seaside rock.

6. Dove Cameron, actor.

Not only was the dress really horrible with flying red pubes but  the tape made her look as if she had been marked up ready for liposuction.

7. Draya Michele, model.

Do not adjust your eyeballs. You really are looking at a human hologram with giant nipples.

8. Halsey, singer.

It is hard to determine what was more offensive – the Cleopatra serpent curled around her torso, the exposed groin or the split-front trousers pooling behind her like an oil slick.

9. Jennifer Lopez, actor.

 This was the embodiment of everything WTF hates in  a “dress”.  A crotch curtain putting appalled onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment, exposed torso and giant Mickey Mouse ears for tit covers. It was tackier than a lorry-load of Blu Tak.

10. Julia Fox, actor.

Sigh. Julia was being strangled by her own neck brace, whatever was wrapped around her lady parts was not a skirt, the boots were Pretty Woman Goes Pervy and the eyebrows looked better on Mr Spock.

11. Kim Kardashian, celebritee.

The good news is that Kim was covered up. The bad news is that she was covered up in the Police – Do Not Cross tape they erect at criminal incidents. Plus everything emphasised her unfeasibly large arse and made her look as if she had stuffed a couple of footballs down her leggings. 

12. Maggie Lindemann, singer.

 It’s just horrible, like Wilma Flintstone going to a funeral and then on to a rave.

13. Meg Stalter, comedian.

It may have been vintage (Jean Paul Gaultier) but just because it was old doesn’t mean it wasn’t shit.  If there was a more unflattering outfit this year, WTF is glad that she missed it.

14. Nicole Kidman, actor.

It is not just that Nicole, a mother of teen-aged girls, was dressed as one, but that this was an actual outfit meant to be worn outdoors (it’s Prada). It is good job Jeffrey Epstein is no longer with us or he would have been beating a path to Nicole’s door. Whoops, don’t do it again….

15. Rickey Thompson, actor and influencer.

This is not so much what side do you dress, sir, but how do you fit it all in? And as WTF remarked at the time, his chest seemed to be decorated by Claire’s Accessories.

16. Steve McQueen, director.

It was all going so well until you got to the ankles…..

17. Tom Daley, swimmer.

Tragic. And then some….

18. Tommy Dorfman, actor (she/her).

Like an incontinence sheet with stomach railings and a tit window.

OK READERS – GET VOTING. The results will be announced next week.