wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers and Happy New Year,

It was so obvious that Trump would not accept the results of the election. It was so obvious that he would lie that he had won, and keep on lying.  It was so obvious that he would incite his moronic followers to riot. It was even obvious that January 6 2021 was the day on which they would come to Washington DC to riot, because he has been telling everyone to turn up on that day – the day Congress would  confirm Biden’s Presidency  – and he had tweeted that the day would ‘be wild’.  And if WTF could see all this from Islington, some 3,600 miles from Washington DC, you would think that the DC Constabulary and the Capitol Police and the National Guard and the Department of Homeland Security might have given it some consideration, not to mention Harvard and Yale-educated lawyers like Senator Ted Cruz of Texas and Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri and the Leaders of the GOP who have stuck to Trump like shit to a blanket and allowed him to deny the fact Joe Biden got 7,ooo,000 more people votes than he did and 74 more Electoral College votes. They excused his ludicrous lawsuits. They told us that the people had a right to have their questions answered, when those questions had been posed  by the very people who now sought to further their political careers by airing them on the floor of the Senate and the House and on Fox News.

And guess what, Readers? Angry people flocked to DC on Wednesday. Idiotic people flocked to DC on Wednesday. Racists and gun fanatics and violent right wingers flocked to DC on Wednesday. QAnon adherents who believe that the capital is run by pedophile followers of Satan flocked to DC on Wednesday. And having listened to Trump Snr) and to Trump Jr and to Rudy Giuliani, all of whom told them to fight for America and to be ‘strong’, they marched down to the Capitol and broke in, some armed to the teeth with guns or iron bars, and trashed it. Someone hung a noose on the Western facade. Others brandished Confederate flags. A Capitol policemen died, as did a female Air Force veteran who had broken in with the mob and who was shot dead. Three others died as a result of medical episodes triggered by the riot. Congress had to adjourn its debate on whether Arizona’s electoral college votes were obtained by fraud and terrified lawmakers in gas masks were ushered to a place of safety.

And then, only then, did most of the GOP decide that they could not support Trump any longer. Oooh, he is a terrible man! Oooh, he has incited violence! Oooh, he has dishonoured the Constitution! Pass the smelling salts. And now they are making a bolt for the exit, just 13 days from the end of his term. it is too much. Not his allowing 362,000 people to die from Covid. Not his locking children in cages separated from their parents. Not his quid pro quo with Ukraine when he demanded dirt on Hunter Biden in exchange for much-needed military aid. Not his lies and insults and narcissism and innate stupidity. Not his attempt to deprive the poor of medical care in the middle of a pandemic. That they could take.  But lying face down in the House chamber while backwoodsmen went on the rampage….no, that proved too much for them.

On Wednesday Trump called his supporters ‘patriots’ and told them they were ‘very special – we love you’. Last night, knowing the game was up, he condemned the ‘heinous violence’ and admitted his term was almost over, albeit that it looked like a hostage video. The rats had finally jumped ship and he was all out of options. But how does America put out the fires he started? And you can bet he will carry on stoking.

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As we find ourselves back in lockdown, fashion disasters may be few and far between for a while, but luckily WTF has scoured the media and found some stinkers for your delectation, starting with Covid Taskforce guru Professor Chris Whitty, looking shockingly unkempt – AGAIN.

No one expectsProfessor Whitty to be a fashion plate, prancing around like Harry Styles. However, when you pop up on television every day to tell fed-up citizens to stay at home for another three months, you have to look the part. If you are bright enough to become a Professor, you can get your head around tying your tie so that the knot is approximate to your collar, and, as WTF aficionado Andrew from Canonbury remarked on an earlier occasion when Professor Whitty was featured in these pages, he seems to favour a size 17 collar on a size 14 neck.  Oh – and his complexion is that of a boiled pink prawn.

Next up we have celebritee Lauren Goodger wearing Oh Polly! Or, as WTF would prefer to say, Oh Gawd!!

Lauren has always been very keen for us to see as much of her bum as possible, and here it is again, although at least this time it is covered up. At school, WTF learned about the Continental Shelf in geography class, and here it is made (ample) flesh.

This is actress and director Regina King in Miami, wearing Louis Vuitton to a film premiere.

Ground control to Major King…. here is plenty of room for a fart or two in that spacesuit.

And now a bevy of New Year’s Eve horrors, starting with singer Taylor Swift wearing a bear’s head.

That is a very poorly bear in need of bowlfuls of honey. Why would anyone want to wear such a hideous item? WTF is put in mind of the famous stage direction from Shakespeare’s A Winter’s Tale, namely ‘exit pursued by a bear’.

To California where we encounter the gruesome twosome of Momager Kris Jenner wearing Balenciaga, and her soon-to-be-divorced FOR THE THIRD TIME daughter Kim Kardashian, who is wearing Schiaparelli.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that no matter how expensive the garment, put it on a Kardashian/Jenner (other than on Kendall Jenner) and even if it is nice to start with, it won’t be nice on them. As it happens, in this case, both the garments are so ghastly that even Kendall could not carry them off.  Kris is wearing a boiler suit that someone has tried to rip off her, exposing her lacy corset, while Kim looks like a mouldy version of Russell Crowe in Gladiator. WTF is also compelled to observe that Kim seems to have cotton wool wrapped around the middle toe of her left foot.

And now to New York  for Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and singer Doja Cat wearing not a lot.

Doja is dressed as the Tooth Fairy, preventing an Imminent Minge Moment by a few artfully-placed spangles and has covered her arse in tinsel, looking like the love child of a Christmas tree and a flapper. 

Finally the winner of the coveted WTF Christmas Turkey Poll 2020 is……..

WAIT FOR IT…..

WORLD CHAMPION Racing driver Sir Lewis Hamilton !!!!

Yes he looks like a prat, but was he really the worst? REALLY??? Or were you guys just pissed off at him getting a knighthood, despite being a tax exile in Monaco? Anyway, he romped home with almost 25% of the vote, with Prime Minister Boris Johnson coming in second with 20.67% and CeeLo Green, dressed as a DFS sofa, in third place with 18.84%. But as Donald Trump found out this week, when the people have spoken, they have spoken…..

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Kathryn from Kent, a mother of two, who has had enough of panting joggers making a beeline for her and her kiddies when they are taking their hour’s constitutional in the park. Kathryn points out that there is little point staying at home to avoid exposure to Covid 19, only to get a face full of wet microbes from the said joggers as they pass within inches of you while ploughing onwards.  And God forbid that they could divert even slightly from their designated path to avoid you in case they miss the chance to shave 1.3 milli-seconds off their personal best. WTF is wholly in agreement and  she wishes to add to the hit list maskless wankers who shout into their phones in parks and elsewhere, thereby sending their turbulent vortex in your direction. They’re selfish, thoughtless and antisocial. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Your comments have started coming in again as well as some tip-top suggestions for It’s Got To Go so keep them coming. Let us meet again on next Friday. Be good and stay safe.