WTF Voter Fraud Special

Hallo Readers,

We could all see where Donald Trump was heading. He has been laying the foundations for some time. He told us that mail-in voting was wrong. Until he remembered that he himself voted by mail. As did Melania Trump. And Ivanka Trump. And half of his entourage. And a lot of Republican voters, particularly in Florida. At which point, mail-in voting became OK, as long as it was in a state run by Republican governors, but states which mail your ballot to you automatically were bad, bad, bad, because thousands of those votes would go astray and be used by the evil Democrats to vote in Joe Biden, who could never win on his own because he doesn’t know what day it is, and anyway, there has never been a President who has done more for [fill in ethnic minority group/the army/veterans/billionaires, as applicable] than Trump? Then he tried to nobble the US Post Office, claiming that it could not now cope with the influx of postal votes. Then he started telling us that there were multiple examples of fraudulent voting, without deigning to produce any actual proof of any. Then his Attorney -General, Bill Barr, told us that there would be multiple examples of fraudulent voting, because ‘it was common sense that there would be’. Then Trump told us that that the only way he could lose was if the Democrats rigged the vote. Meanwhile, there are over 200 suits brought by Republicans against states offering mail-in voting. And this week he worked up to his crescendo of crapulence, refusing to confirm that if he lost the election on 3 November, there would be a peaceful transfer of power. The ballots were, he said, ‘a disaster…Get rid of the ballots and you’ll have a very peaceful — there won’t be a transfer, frankly. There will be a continuation.’ This led voting supremo Elle. Weintraub to retort  ‘In case anyone is unclear on the concept, in the United States of America, we do not ‘get rid of’ ballots. We count them’.

Members of Trump’s re-election team are talking to Republic states about the possibility of their invalidating any Biden wins by declaring the voting process unlawful and calling the state for Trump instead. Which would end up in the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, in another part of the Forest, Trump is rushing to replace Supreme Court Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died last week aged 87, before 3 November because, as he freely admitted, if the Supreme Court needs to adjudicate upon a challenge to the election result (i.e. his challenge), there would be a court of nine justices available. Including the ones that  he knows will vote for him.

And this, Readers, is the USA, the so-called Leader of Free World and Bastion of Democracy. The President cannot be defeated. If he wins, he has won. If he loses, he has still won, because it is not possible that he has lost. And if the case goes to the Supreme Court, it will be decided by the Judges he appointed, including the one he appointed to ensure that he wins.  These are antics that would shame a 1970s Banana Republic. And let us not forget the army of crazies who will be encouraged to take to the streets with their AR15s, asserting their unalienable right to shoot anybody they don’t like the look of. Which is anyone who does not like Donald Trump. As Bette Davies in All About Eve remarked, ‘Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night’. Or, in this case, nights……

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We start our review of the week’s clothing cloaca with epidemiologist Professor Chris Whitty, looking scruffy.

WTF has targeted Professor Whitty before, because if you are going to instruct the Nation to hunker down and see nobody apart from your wife, your mother-in-law and your Uncle Bob, you need to look like a proper person, and not a dosser sleeping in a cardboard box in the Strand. The shirt  is not fresh on, the collar is not properly buttoned à la Just William, and the suit was borrowed from Lurch. Epic fail. 

This is TOWIE personage Yazmin Oukhellou, who wins the WTF Palomino Pony Award. This is the award given for fake brown legs and white feet, like Yazmin here. What on earth went wrong mid-calf downwards? Did she get bored before she got to the ankles?

 This is as bad as it gets….. the bar has been set high for future contestants….

Here is singer Miley Cyrus at the IHeart Radio Awards, wearing Mugler.

OK, gents, put your eyeballs back in their sockets and your tongues back in your mouths. Miley is gorgeous with a banging body. But she would still be gorgeous with a banging body without showing us nearly all of it, and emphasising the technical excellence of her waxing technician. Answer me this – did any of the men attending this event, virtually or otherwise, attend with their bums hanging out and their googlies on display? I think not…..

How we have country singer Kelsea Ballerini, wearing Raisa and Vanessa. 

Oh dear….she looks like a draped window. And will women PLEASE STOP doing that ridiculous leg-out pose?

We are now at Milan Fashion Week with singer Rita Ora attending in person, wearing Fendi.

This is a very nice jacket.  It is just that it ought to have been worn with something else. Like a skirt. Or trousers. Or anything, other than a flash of arse cheek. And those socks and shoes were last seen in a Renoir painting.

To the virtual Emmy Awards 2020 and actress Tracee Ellis Ross, wearing Minge Maestro Alexandre Vauthier.

WTF is all for dressing up, and laying a Red Carpet in your garden is an excellent compromise in these days of Covid, but this crinklefest with its threat of an imminent Minge Moment looks like the love child of a toilet roll dolly and a tired lettuce.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, we have actor Jeremy Strong, wearing something ghastly at the virtual Emmy Awards 2020.

WTF adores Jeremy, whom she first spotted as Vinny in The Big Short a few years ago, and he richly deserved his Best Actor award for Succession, particularly the last scene.

But…

This ensemble will not do. Not even at all. Not only is it a nasty colour, like nappy poo, with shoulders better suited to Vin Diesel, but that scarf looks like something borrowed from a Boy Scout uniform. 

Jeremy has a penchant for brown, a hue popular in the 1970s. At last year’s Emmys, he wore this excrescence. It didn‘t fit anywhere and that bow tie was very bar mitzvah boy. WTF cannot believe she missed it first time round…..

 

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This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Anne from Surrey who took against Sir John Hayes, the Sir Bufton Tufton of the 21st century Tory Party, and MP for Deeping.

Sir John, recently seen waving a Trump 2020 banner with his mates from the DUP, objected to having to undergo unconscious bias training because it was ‘mind control’ and because it is apparently OK to have bias towards one’s own community. Er, no, it isn’t. You are a paid public servant, matey. Maybe some training would stop you being such an arse. You’ve Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do not forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To GoLet us meet again next Friday. Be good, be careful, and keep washing your hands! x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Response to WTF Voter Fraud Special

  1. Louise says:

    Wonderful, darling.

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