wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This is where WTF gets herself tied into more knots than a boy scout’s bonanza. What on earth do you do with disgusting anti-Semite and Holocaust denier, French “comedian” Dieudonné M’bala M’bala? 

Dieudonné is a scumbag. WTF has written about him before. He introduced the quenelle, an  inverted Nazi salute said to be a “fuck you” gesture. WTF would have more sympathy for this explanation had the quenelle not been exhibited outside synagogues, Jewish cemeteries and Holocaust memorials. WTF hates a Holocaust denier and Dieudonné is a Holocaust denier and a rabid anti-Semite. He has been fined repeatedly in France for anti-Semitism and has been imprisoned there; now he has been sentenced  to two months imprisonment for anti-Semitism by a Belgian Court. In the course of his “act”, performed in Liège in 2012, Dieudonné called Hitler a “sweet kid” and a “joyful braggart”. He also called into question the Nazi gas chambers and described the Talmud as a “shit book”. Short on pissing on the Bible and then laughing at pictures of Dachau, it is unclear how much offensive he could have been. Even as she writes this, WTF, the daughter and granddaughter of Jewish refugees who fled from the Nazis, is experiencing revulsion and fury in equal measure, remembering friends of her parents with concentration camp numbers tattooed on their forearms. Never, ever, tell me that it didn’t happen. But….

Initially, Dieudonné’s sentence was going to feature in the section of this blog as It Has To Go – To Prison. And then, rapidly, it started to feel wrong. And the fact that it felt wrong made WTF feel incredibly angry and foolish, because people like Dieudonné do not give a fuck about those liberal sensibilities that people like WTF, with her wet, middle-class, liberal, North London background, are nurtured into. Angry because anti-Semitism has become acceptable in some circles. Angry because the man has a political agenda and is not just a performer. But…. But if you believe in freedom, the freedom to publish cartoons which some find offensive, the freedom to reject or to embrace any religious or sexual practice, you cannot deny that freedom in others. In essence, although part of WTF wants Dieudonné, who set out to provoke and insult Jews and all those others who suffered as a result of that “sweet kid” and “joyful braggart”, to rot in jail and to rot in hell, she is angry and upset and confused because she just cannot bring herself to believe that locking him up for any length of time is the answer. 

We are now changing tack. We are off to the Evening Standard Theatre Awards in London to see talentless “actress” Kelly Brook, wearing a pair of velvet curtains of unknown provenance.

And not just curtains. Red velvet genitalia curtains. Kelly, who redefines the phrase “waste of space”, claims that she flashed her panties by accident. When your main asset is your chest and you go to a premiere with it covered up but wearing genitalia curtains, you clearly intend to give the press something else to look at. And if you don’t, wear a different outfit instead.

London also hosted the British Fashion Awards, where there was much nonsense on display, for example singer FKA Twigs wearing Calvin Klein.

WTF does not even know what this is supposed to be. It is a sort of titsy tabard worn over trousers that were clearly designed for Ceelo Green on one of his fatter days. Baffling.

Here they are, two of Britain’s finest tax exiles, Formula 1 World Champion and fashion victim Lewis Hamilton and Topshop magnate Sir Philip Green.

Bloody hell…WTF has long railed against the current horror that is men’s trousers but here are two zillionaires and there is not one decently dressed leg between them.  Lewis’ trousers are just sad but the real shocker is Sir Philip, who resembles a cross between your pissed old uncle at a family wedding and the doorman at the hotel where the function is being held. He should also return those shoes to his grandchildren – stat.

Finally at this event, there was The Saturdays singer Mollie King, wearing not enough.,

The waxing technician has done her work but why do we need to view her waxed vulva? Answer – we don’t. We really don’t. Especially not in tandem with a giant tit window….

The same week saw the American Music Awards, always a rich source of ridiculousness. We start with singer This is Fancy (né Jake Hapgood) seen here with Meghan Trainor, who features on his new single. Meghan looks great. He doesn’t.

How do you address him? This is Fancy? This? Is? Fancy? TIF? Whatever, his outfit suggests that he dashed onto the Red Carpet straight from the hairdresser and forgot to remove his cape….

Then there was singer Ellie Goulding wearing Alexandre Vauthier. 

Regular Readers will know that Alexandre is the Monarch of the Minge Moment and this is a typical example of his oeuvre. It is no more than an ammunition belt with a ripped leather minge fringe. Meanwhile, Ellie must have been sitting next to Fancy at the hairdressers when they got the call that the show was starting and had no time to get her hair blow-dried… 

Next we have Jennifer Lopez wearing Charbel Zoe.

Sigh. Love, give it a rest… if Tutankhamun went to a fancy dressed party dressed as a woman, this is what he would have worn. And why has she got a turd on her head?

Talking of cross-dressing, here is One Direction‘s Harry Styles wearing Gucci.

Is Harry going the same way as Caitlin Jenner? The hair. The bell-bottoms. The fabric. There is only One Direction this suit should be going, and that is into the bin.

Here is Z Lala dressed a blue octopus.

Z purports to be a singer but only surfaces on big occasions such as these when she wears something ludicrous in order to get her picture taken. Insofar as the outfit is tit and minge free, it is to be welcomed. But it is very, very silly.

Then there was the gorgeous singer Ciara, wearing Reem Acra.

Yawn. WTF would have ignored this but cannot overlook the hanging hairy thing between her legs like a groin goatee. It is deeply disturbing and WTF is quite disturbed enough as it is.

And finally there was singer Gwen Stefani wearing Yousef Al-Jasmi.

Gwen is doing that thing known to Daily Mail Readers as “showing her cheating ex husband what he is missing”. Except that he probably isn’t missing it.

This week’s It‘s Got to Go comes from WTF’s experiences this week travelling on the London Tube in rush hour.  To be frank, it is foul. Not just the regular smack in the face from people’s backpacks (thank the Lord, it was not a scrote tote). Not the tinnitus tunes from other people’s headphones. Not the hiding in a small corner nurturing your own air pocket. What really drove her insane this week was the self-appointed Tube Taliban who take it upon themselves to bark orders and insults at you. You are standing in the wrong place. There is a queue actually. Eventually WTF lost it and informed one such to fuck right off and look snappy about it. It is not the way to start the day. Not even at all….

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. The comments  last week were of top quality so keep them coming and do not stint on your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x