wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

You expect Presidential Candidate Donald Trump to say something stupid because that is what he does. His exists to be outrageous, from his views on Mexicans to that custard-coloured thing on his head purporting to be hair. But other Republican Presidential candidates now feel compelled to say something equally daft and last week it was Ben Carson’s turn. Dr Carson, a retired neurosurgeon somewhat to the right of Genghis Khan, said of the Holocaust “the likelihood of Hitler being able to accomplish his goals would have been greatly diminished if the people had been armed.”  This is of course nonsense.  Jews were 1% of the German population and even if every one of them and all the other Jews across Europe, rabbis, doctors, writers, grocers, grannies and children, had been armed to the teeth, they would have struggled against the German Army with unlimited ammunition, planes and tanks – as the Polish Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising found out. The same goes for gays, gypsies, the disabled and all those other groups the Nazis exterminated as not fitting in with their picture of the perfect society. Guns would not have saved them and the subtext, that it is somehow their fault they were wiped out because they didn’t grab a gun, is plain offensive. Mind you, Dr Ben is big on self-help. When asked about the Oregon massacre at Umpqua Community College recently, he said “I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, ‘Hey, guys, everybody attack him! He may shoot me but he can’t get us all”. Shame he wasn’t there really…..

But behind the nonsense is the pernicious determination of the Gun Lobby to uphold their inalienable right to bear arms, no matter how many kids get splattered against the wall by psychos. The Nazi analogy is a favourite of theirs – whenever gun control is mooted, out comes the tired old cliché like a dog returning to its vomit. Carson used to be for gun registration but changed his mind after it dawned upon him that “sinister internal forces” might track you down and take your guns away. So nothing will be done, everyone knows that nothing will be done and more and more people will die in the name of the Constitution. So far in 2015 there are 8,512 of them, including at 1 person a week shot by toddlers.  1 person a week. God Bless America.

To the week’s sartorial slurry with the fringe on top, starting with the lovely Cate Blanchett wearing Givenchy.

The horrible slitheriness and lace inserts are bad enough but what are those long things hanging down? Are they reins? Are they ties for a straitjacket? Let us hope that Cate, whom WTF warmly admires, does not tread on them and fall arse over tit.

Here she is again! Yes it is singer and X Factor Judge Rita Ora. WTF does not know what she is wearing but she does know that she should not be wearing it.

See what I mean? Going out in an all-in-one body stocking and a vulgar Chanel belt worn, inexplicably, with sensible shoes and sunglasses (at night) falls squarely into the category of “That’s not even clothes”. And lose the curlers, love. You look like Hilda Ogden from Coronation Street.

Next we have idiot singer and teen idol Justin Bieber, seen here with model Hailey Baldwin. (How many of these bloody Baldwins are there? They are more ubiquitous than the Kardashians.)

Recently nude pictures were published showing Justin with his dingly-dangly, er, dangling, whereupon his dad tweeted proudly about the size of his son’s appendage and Bette Midler waded in attacking the dad’s comment and it all went off. WTF has no opinion on the size of Justin’s dingly-dangly but it may explain why he always wears those stupid dropped-crotch trousers or in this case, shorts. WTF had hitherto assumed it was because he was still in nappies. What is Hailey’s excuse? As for Justin’s shoes and socks combo, they are unspeakable.

And here is another young star who grew up to a right pain, singer Miley Cyrus.

Sigh. That thing on her head looks like a jester’s hat that the cat chewed up. It is actually more offensive than the sunflower nip-tips, bad as they are but not nearly as bad as the Smiley bag and matching Pat Butcher earrings.

Yes, she was in last week but this cannot be ignored. Here is Bai Ling out on her 49th birthday.

In terms of fabric, this is more than Bai Ling usually wears but WTF was struck by the faux-penis and still more by the very visible tattooed Minge Moustache.

PUT. IT. AWAY. PRETTY PLEASE.

Now we meet Dutch singer Natalie La Rose at the Latin American Music Awards wearing Nicholas Jebran.

This is one of the worst things WTF has ever seen.  Not only is it ugly but the crotch creases are downright disturbing with folds like a Shar Pei.

Finally, here is lovely actress Salma Hayek wearing Bottega Veneta. Bottega Veneta! Ye Gods!!

Salma’s husband François-Henri Pinault owns Bottega Veneta. (And Gucci. And Louis Vuitton. And Balenciaga. And Alexander MacQueen). Salma should get first dibs on what to wear at an event sponsored by Bottega Veneta but she pitched up in a tattered old army tent with the lining folded over as a breast bandage. WTF can only conclude that Salma and François-Henri had one hell of a bust-up the night before and he issued orders to his staff to give her the ugliest dress available. An order they seem to have followed to the letter.

This week’s It’s Got To Go is suggested by WTF aficionado Philippa who was outraged by these revolting Gucci fur-lined shoes, yours for only £785. François-Henri! Get a grip, man.

Now WTF likes a laugh as much as the next person but £785 for a bit of patent leather, some manky kangaroo fur and a handful of cheap-looking heel trinkets is no laughing matter. And what is the point of wearing something fur-lined with slingbacks? It is like having the heating on with the door open…

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. There were literally thousands of hits last week but a paucity of comments. Is it greedy to have both? (Answer – probably).  Still, let us do an experiment and try. Spread the word about the blog, keep the comments coming and send in your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x