wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Wednesday was Holocaust Memorial Day, the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz where millions died, there and in other death camps. Some died because they were Jews. Some died because they were gypsies.  Some died because they were gay. Some died because they were disabled. Some died because they were communists or because they rejected the Nazi ideology. But millions died. Some were gassed. Some were shot. Some died of disease or starvation. All of them were targeted because of what they were and their failure to fit the Aryan prototype of desirability. Those who survived to tell their stories tell stories to break your heart but soon their voices will be silenced and then how do we persuade the next generations, bedazzled by computer generated  imagery and photoshopping, that it ever happened at all?

Even now in the face of the photographs and the film footage and the testimonies, some stoutly deny that it ever happened. How, how can they deny that it ever happened? How can they deny the accounts of eye witnesses, the evidence of the bodies piled up, the stench of death that remains indelibly in the nostrils of those who were there? Even a visceral hatred of Israel and Zionism cannot negate what happened. What about those who were not Jews and were in the camps? What happened to them? WTF, the daughter of a Jewish refugee who had friends with camp numbers tattooed on their forearms, was appalled by “Holohoax” exponents and  Holocaust deniers, seemingly of all faiths, ages and nationalities, who took to Twitter (and in one case, to Radio 5 where he gained access by deception and then denounced the Holocaust as a lie) to spread their poison, citing such proponents of the truth as David Irving (discredited and imprisoned), Ernst Zündel (discredited and imprisoned) and “executions expert” Fred A Leuchter (discredited charlatan who was neither a scientist nor an engineer and yet claimed to have proof that gas was never used at Auschwitz). Distorting or denying the past can never advance a political argument and dishonours both.

Rant over.

At which point, we switch to the sartorial slurry of the week and the Screen Actors’ Guild (SAG) Awards in Hollywood, the only awards by actors to actors. We start with Stephanie Beatriz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine wearing Johanna Johnson.

This dress was custom made for Stephanie and so WTF can only speculate that either there was a catastrophic power failure when the lights went out for a week or someone in the sewing room held a grudge. Stephanie was seconds away from a major tit trauma and they look like spaniels’ ears. She knows it too…

Orange Is The New Black won big on the night and rightly so. WTF is a huge fan. Sadly, however, she was not a fan of some of the outfits worn by the stars, like Laverne Cox, also wearing Johanna Johnson. 

This Johanna Johnson has a lot to answer for. Laverne is dressed in a silk nightie with silver accoutrements like an glittering ox-yoke and, just in case it was insufficiently gaudy, Johanna added a pair of genitalia curtains AND A TRAIN! Lady Macbeth goes disco dancing…

Also letting the side down was Vicky Jeudy wearing Charbel Zoé.

Quite apart from the cheesy pose (why on earth do women have to stand like that?) there is a lot going on here and none of it good. Branches growing out of her chest. Sequins. Splits. Peekaboo panels. Just say no…

Then there was Matthew McConaughey wearing Brioni pictured with his wife Camila Alvez wearing Donna Karan Atelier.

Camila looks spectacular. As for Matthew, had George V gone to a fancy dress party as a bandleader, this is what he would have looked like. What the hell is that beard? And why are his trousers concertinaed around his ankles?

Also there was Jennifer Aniston wearing vintage Galliano.

Jen decided to abandon her safe, sassy Red Carpet look, i.e. black, a hint of cleavage and lots of leg (she does have great legs) and let it be known that she now wants to exude super-sexy and edge. This dress, however, does neither. The colour is horrible, her tits look more saggy than SAG and what is that gold dog-chain for? 

And Adrien Brody wearing Vivienne Westwood Man.

What is it with men and shiny suits? First Matthew and now Adrien. At least Matthew was only shiny from the waist up whereas Adrien looks like a cross between a 50’s Mafioso (think Al Pacino in The Godfather 2) and the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. And that expression makes him look constipated.

And Joan Collins wearing something left over from her Dynasty days.

Yes, she’s great for her age (81)  but just because she can do it doesn’t mean she has to. She looks like a drag queen dressed as Joan Collins. 

And nominee for Best Actress, our own Rosamund Pike wearing Dior.

First we had the Vera Wang Mammary Moment at the Golden Globes and now this embellished tent with pom-poms, like a moulting poodle. Rosamund – there is still time before the Oscars! Your stylist needs a slap, a P45 and another slap. And buy a hairbrush.

Finally, away from the SAG Awards, we have the former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo, now stepping out with singer Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Olivia is wearing MT Costello.

Joe is the youngest looking 25 year old in the Universe, especially next to Olivia, who is only 22 but looks much older. WTF deplores trainers worn with a DJ, a trend espoused by Louis Hamilton and Robert Downey Jnr. and will rage against it whenever she sees it. As for Olivia, MT Costello is the collaboration between the ghastly Michael Costello and his sister. Regular Readers will know that WTF has a deep loathing for Michael, who is the Minge Moment Maestro and whose creations are an affront to female dignity. Like this Porno-Bride effort.

WARNING!!!!! AND ANOTHER WARNING!!!!!

STOP READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE SIGHT OF A PENIS….COME BACK NEXT WEEK INSTEAD!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! THRICE!!!!

This week’s It’s Got To Go, independently brought to WTF’s attention by aficionados David Meredith, Jan  Lewis and Trisha Shannon, is absolutely foul. Idiot designer Rick Owens, he of the rather excellent leather jackets, decided to send male models down the runway with their dicks hanging out. Or as Trisha excellently put it, Penis Peepholes.

Why? Because, according to Rick, “I thought it was the most simple, primal gesture—and you know I love a simply tiny, little gesture that packs the wallop.” Codswallop more like..…. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. WTF is still experiencing a degree of disappointment at the sparsity of the comments coming in but you’re reading in your droves which is cheering and there have been some top suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x