Hallo Readers,

On his release 5 weeks ago, WTF expressed the view that although Ched Evans was, on any view, a scumbag, he should on balance be allowed to return to his job playing football for Sheffield United after serving half his sentence for rape. Since then, Evans, Sheffield United and some of Evans’ supporters tested WTF’s view to the limit. And now it doesn’t matter because the Club announced last night that it has severed all ties with Evans and that he could no longer train with the squad. Here are WTF’s thoughts….

♦ Evans is still a convicted rapist despite his protestations of innocence. He was originally refused permission to appeal and as yet has not even been granted a further appeal. But days after his release, there he was with his gormless girlfriend by his side whilst he apologised for “being unfaithful” to her. Which was as offensive as it was stupid. 

♦ United should either have immediately announced that it was in favour of rehabilitation and was offering Evans a contract or that it wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole.  It did neither, trod water and made the situation harder for everyone, including itself. Either shit or get off the pot. Don’t wait for your patrons and sponsors to squeeze it out for you.

When Olympian Jessica Ennis-Hill said she wanted her name removed from the stand named in her honour, Evans’ website, run by his family, featured a mock picture of “The Ched Evans Stand” and the headline “Jessica Who?”  She is a national heroine and a sporting icon – that’s who. 

Not all United supporters wanted him back, whilst others believed that he was wrongly convicted of rape or that he had done his time and deserved another chance. But others supported Evans just because he had worn the Club’s red and white jersey and because his goals could get United back into the top flight. And so they named the victim (again) on Twitter and Facebook, chanted “He Scores When He Wants” and “He Rapes When he Wants” and abused any woman objecting to their club employing a rapist, the usual litany of rape threats and comments like “she should keep her mouth shut” as if women should know better than to have an opinion, let alone to voice it. WTF does not agree with all the women’s views but they are certainly entitled to express them.

So Evans is unemployed and will play the victim, the gormless girlfriend will still stick to him like shit to a blanket, her millionaire dad will foot the legal bills and the Evans family will continue with their not-quite-accurate website, blaming the victim and casting aspersions upon her conduct and lifestyle. It has been a truly unedifying spectacle. 

Let us now turn to the week’s sartorial sluice bucket. No men today, after a goodly showing in the last few weeks but some dismally dressed women, starting with Beyoncé’s sister Solange Knowles (or Solangé as WTF likes to call her, why should one sister have an acute and not the other?) wearing Stéphane Rolland on the way to get married. (She changed into a rather lovely gown for the ceremony).

Gosh, there is plenty of tit on display here and also plenty of back…

But there is also plenty of hem, in fact the worst-looking hems WTF has ever seen. WTF has taken against the whole outfit, whether for a wedding or otherwise.

This is Meghan Trainor, singer of the absurdly catchy mega-hit, All About The Bass. Click on the link and have a singalong.

WTF does not know what that dress is. But she does know that it is horrible.

Hurrah, she’s back! Readers’ favourite Nancy dell’Olio stepped out at the Spectator Magazine Cigar Awards (yes really).

On seeing this snap, WTF aficionado Ellie Cumbo, asked “is this really this decade?” The answer is no because Nancy has favoured this low-cut, arse-hugging, cameltoe-showing, too-long-trouser style since at least 2002 when she wore a similar garment to 10 Downing Street as the consort of the then England manager, overpaid prat Sven Goran Ericsson. And it was old fashioned in 2002. She is blending into the walls here but sadly we can still see her.

Next up is actress Keke Palmer wearing not a lot of ICB with gorgeous Sergio Rossi boots.

Keke is currently appearing on Broadway but dressed like this she looks as if she walking it. 

No, Keke, just no. We do not want to see your pierced nipples. Or your bra.

We continue our series of Soap Star Style with Holly Hagan, the rough-as-a-bear’s-arse “star” of the shagathon “reality” TV series Geordie Shore. Here she is modelling from her own range.

Holly tells us that she designed this range for normal girls to wear. If this is normal, we have gone to hell in a handcart. Skin the colour of an old teabag. Tits on show the size of footballs. Hair that started life on something or somebody else. A vile neon onesie. Fuck-Me Shoes. Stop The World, I Want to Get Off.

This one really is a fashion disaster. Here is actress Kristen Stewart wearing Chanel Couture, for whom she is a muse.  She looked great in a strapless dress with mesh overlay and the skirt is really pretty.

 And then this happened…

Couture means made to measure by hand but Chanel’s tape measure must have been faulty because the bodice is cut so low that it slipped down whilst Kristen was on stage presenting an award, exposing her nipples which is why she looks so mortified. Sack the seamstress!

Just after WTF swore to various correspondents that Kim Kardashian really was banned from the blog, WTF aficionado @gazaboatconvoy and others rightly insisted on the inclusion of this picture. Here is Kim at the launch of her new fragrance Fleur Fatale wearing latex designer Atsuko Kudo.

The back is also preposterous.

Kim has stopped dressing as a blow-up sex doll and has now turned herself into a blow-up sex doll. Frankly, it is hard to see where the latex ends and Kim begins and she would be well advised to stand away from naked flames and sharp objects or she will simply go pop…..

This week’s It’s Got To Go can be briefly stated. The  good news is that the Indonesian Police Force allows women recruits. The bad news is that they have to take a virginity test in which two fingers are inserted into their vagina to see whether their hymen is intact.  Why being a virgin makes you a better police officer, WTF cannot say. Are male recruits interrogated on whether they’ve had some? It’s Got To Go. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. There were some top comments and suggestions for It’s Got To Go and WTF is greedy and wants some more. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

10 responses to “WTF They All Got It Wrong Special”

  1. Sigh – Laura was right! Still well and truly hooked. Please give us a break from that vomit inducing family. Enough already!

    1. fashionshark

      Blame @gazaboatconvoy, she made me do it!

    2. I’m still not certain who the Kardashians are, or why they are famous, but they do seem to embody everything that is wrong with fashion and celebrity. When you have such good material in one family Fashionshark would be foolish to ignore it.

  2. I am not so keen on Kirsten’s outfit, slippage or not, that high neck does not suit her, and what is that tattoo on her arm? And as for those sprayed white bikes, I wonder if Solange knows that a sprayed white bike is used here in London to mark a fatal cycling accident, often with flowers!

  3. Did Solange really ride a bicycle dressed like that? I’d be impressed. Between the heels and the floppy stuff hanging off her I would think it a safety hazard.
    By the way, did you notice that the bicycle in the second photo has a flat tire? Now that’s a great omen for a wedding.

  4. It’s so confusing – clothes exist to COVER the body and keep us warm, so why would Solange wear so many capes yet be half naked at the same time?

  5. msgramps – Virginia – ????????????

    If you zoom in on Kristen Stewart pic you will see that her nipples are not exposed. This was a makeup (lie) story from HL to create some media buzz bc Robert Pattinson was attending HFA.

    I’m truly not a fan when some ppl just want to write false stories to which degrades ppl especially women.

  6. fashionshark

    I don’t agree. And I am not degrading KS but the people who charge $$$$$$$ for a dress that doesn’t fit. But of course you are entitled to your view….

  7. Both the unmentionable KK and Kristen Stewart seem to be wearing identical, ill-fitting, about to wrench an ankle shoes and that is the least of their lack of judgement

  8. I agree with Jan that KK is unmentionable. And Megan Trainor’s song is actually “All about the Bass”, as in bass clef, bass notes etc…. It’s actually a tribute to those of us who are no longer (or ever were) a size 4!

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