WTF is off on her holidays this week so instead of the usual post, this is your chance to vote for the Summer Stinker featuring WTF’s selection of the worst fashion disasters so far in 2013. All you have to do is to consider the 18 ghastly candidates below and then vote for the worst one.
1. ERICA MENA
This is not a dress. It is a pair of tights with a bird embroidered on it. And those tits look like footballs. WTF suspects they may not be her own.
2. LORETTA DEVINE
This was shortly after Christmas so one can only assume that Loretta was recycling her old wrapping paper. The results are not flattering and she looks more shrink wrapped than gift wrapped.
3. JAY MANUEL
Stylist Jay looked as if he had been caught in a pigeon-shit-storm. Even Alfred Hitchcock in The Birds would not have dared present us with something as spattered as this horror show.
4. SIGOURNEY WEAVER
Sigourney attended the SAG Awards in this Lanvin dress which she turned back to front, thus giving the impression of wearing a large frilly cushion cover. Can you imagine how Bad it must have looked the other way around?
5. BRANDI GLANVILLE
Brandi took time off from her never-ending feud with ex Eddie Cibrian and his new wife LeAnn Rimes to attend the Oscars in a dress of her own design with her tits spilling out of a bodice 3 sizes too small and a skirt made out of poodle hair. It was probably not a coincidence that she had recently had a new book out.
6. ANNE HATHAWAY
Anne was all set to wear a Valentino frock at the Oscars (she was shoo-in for Best Supporting Actress) but switched at the last minute and ended up in this pastel-pink Prada effort with seams that looked like an ice cube had been applied to her nipples. And it’s creased.
Ke$ha is dressed as Queen of the May, which is offensive enough, and with a garland on her head which is worse, but those sausage-skin shiny tights are just unforgiveable.
Designer to the WAGS Nadine attended a ball in Manchester in this vile dress of her own design with a full-on minge moment and a revolting seam running along her thighs like a tapeworm.
9. ALAN CUMMING
Alan is Scottish. Can you tell? This nonsensical outfit seems to have been inspired by Fred Flintstone and his pale, hairy legs are most unappealing. As is the rest of him.
10. LISA MARIE FALCONE
Billionaire’s wife and socialite Lisa Marie had a hand in designing this thing by Zaldy, which is part rocket, part banana, held together with rivets and worn over a black rubber bra. Extra minus points for the gloves which make her look like Venus de Milo and which have a missing index finger.
11. KIM KARDASHIAN
Of course Kim is entitled to put on weight when she is pregnant but she is not entitled to attend the Met Ball dressed as a sofa with built-in gloves. Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy tried to defend his creation but even Kim’s sisters hated it – and said so.
12. CHARLOTTE CHURCH
There was probably a good reason why Charlotte decided to put on this gold robot outfit with stockinged feet. It is just that WTF has no idea what it might have been. And it made her look enormous.
13. GWYNETH PALTROW
After this Antonio Berardi dress got the bird from all and sundry, Gwyneth tried to maintain that she only realised that it was sheer on both sides moments before leaving the house. Since the panels are sheer from top to toe showing her arse and putting onlookers in imminent fear of a minge moment, WTF suggests that she takes a trip to Specsavers or gets a new stylist. Or both.
14. EMMANUELLE SEIGNER
Readers are still in shock after seeing this Alexandre Vauthier “dress” and with good reason. In fact there seemed to be little point in her wearing it at all, given that it neither covered her breasts nor her nether regions. Whatever that was hanging out of the red panties, nobody wanted to see it.
15. ADRIANA LIMA
Another Givenchy horror. Even gorgeous supermodel Adriana looked like a sack of shit in this nonsense. WTF also took great exception to the black sparkly knickers although given the current fashion climate, we should only be grateful that she wore any at all.
15. MOLLIE KING
Why anyone thought this was a good idea is beyond WTF’s comprehension. Mollie is very pretty without an ounce of fat on her, but Alexander Heal’s dress made her look large, especially with that gold tape measure around the waist.
17. ZANG TOI
Now Zang has better legs than most women (and a lot smoother) but even so, the ensemble of white silk tennis skirt, white tie and black brogues was just not on, like a waiter who has forgotten his trousers. And the electronic tag on his ankle made him look as if he was on bail.
18. LIZZIE CUNDY
Lizzie just happened to be on the balcony wearing a red condom with underboob when a random paparazzo was underneath with his camera. Really? Especially as Tamara Ecclestone had rented out the whole of the Hotel du Cap Ferrat to keep her wedding celebrations private. Funny that…..
OK Readers, that is the selection. Now it is up to you so get voting. And you can also leave some of your excellent comments. Meanwhile, we shall meet again next Friday. Be good x